Forget Work-Life Balance – Try Work-Life Harmony Instead

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Guest contributed by Rae Steinbach

More than ever, the importance of finding and maintaining a healthy work-life balance is being talked about.

However, at times the somewhat elusive goal of perfect equilibrium between our work and personal lives can seem to be unobtainable, especially in a world where we are constantly connected and always available via various forms of technology.

This availability and connection can obscure the line between work and play. Are you working when you check your emails over a morning coffee before making your way to the office? Is attending to personal needs during work hours your prerogative?

These days, delineating where work ends and your personal life begins is even more difficult. However, you can also leverage the transforming expectations and more easily integrate work with life, and vice-versa. Instead of being concerned with how taking a midday break to go to a workout class will affect your performance appraisal, be more comfortable in embracing how this is important in maintaining work-life harmony and stay later at work that day if necessary.

Explore What Harmony Looks Like

According to some experts, achieving a balance between work and the rest of your life has little to do with an equal distribution of your time. Rather, it is about prioritizing achievement and enjoyment each day. Instead of treating your job as a strictly metered necessity to pay for the other elements of your existence, try aiming for harmony. This means working more when needed to achieve business goals, and switching focus and energy to yourself and family when necessary.

Many of us are already taking this tactic to reduce stress and get more out of each day. A recent survey by Randstad found that around half of us deal with personal matters during work hours and work responsibilities in our personal time. Furthermore, more businesses are happy for their workers to do this, as long as the work gets done.

By allowing for the fluidity of life, we are able to find a more harmonious flow to our day that is also a benefit to the company. For example, prioritizing a morning exercise class can keep our minds sharper in the office, and attending to emails in the evening once our house is quiet ensures we are ready for the next day’s priorities.

The Ideal Life

Thanks to social media platforms like Facebook and Instagram, it’s easy to think that almost everyone you know is living the dream. The truth is, most of us present our best side to the world and the less attractive parts of our existence are glossed over or completely left out.

While many of us curate the content we expose about our lives, research has found that more than 75% of people on social media lie about their lives. It is helpful to keep in mind that the carefully curated images and updates from others’ lives leads to negative self-comparison, and the extent of social media interaction can undermine our meaningful, real-life experiences.

To avoid the negative impact of aiming for perfect balance in our lives and competing with misleading social media updates, it is important to focus on the important things: creating harmony between our work and personal lives, making time for fun, achieving our goals, and acknowledging that the rhythm of our lives has little to do with the lives you are viewing through the filtered lens of social media.

Don’t get hung-up on a perfect work-life balance. Instead, dance to your own tune of work-life harmony. Integrating the two creates a healthier coexistence that will let you thrive more easily in both aspects of your life.

Disclaimer: The opinions and views of guest contributors are not necessarily those of theglasshammer.com

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Tips on successful career networking

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Professional-networking-advice featured

Guest contributed by Avery Philips

Before you step foot in any networking event, it’s best to have some questions prepared to avoid those awkward moments of silence.

Ask these questions the next time you’re at a networking event to secure connections:

  • How did you hear about this event?
  • What’s your favorite thing about your job?
  • Have you always wanted to work in this field?
  • How can I help you?

These kinds of questions show your interest in the other person and allow for longer conversations. You can also learn something new and discover the kind of connections they have with other people. Finally, by offering your services to prospective business connections, they may offer their services in return.

Utilize Alumni Networks

As it turns out, a college education can provide a lot more than a degree and student debt. Alumni associations like Arizona State’s offer a wide variety of networking resources to help you advance in your career. Here’s are some best practices for alumni networking you can do:

  • Attend events that are open to alumni. Use these get-togethers to form in-person connections that can result in lasting relationships.
  • Volunteer at your alumni association. Getting involved shows your overall interest and your willingness to put in the effort to take advantage of these resources. It will also get you into contact with like-minded individuals who will remember you when opportunities arise.
  • When you get in touch, stay in touch. Plan coffee and lunch meetups to keep you fresh in business professionals’ minds. Don’t forget to email them as well and see what’s new with them.
Explore Other Networking Groups

Although the college you graduated from offers a wealth of networking resources, there are plenty of other networking outlets at your disposal. That way, networking can work for you instead of the other way around. Here are a few you should look into:

  • General Networking: There are many conferences all over that allow a variety of people to come together and network. Even if someone isn’t in your field, you can find different opportunities and new paths to take by networking with different kinds of people.
  • Seminars: Accomplish two things by signing up for a seminar. Not only will you get to learn new things, you’ll also be able to network with speakers and attendees. You never networkingknow who will come to these events, so it’s best to be observant and to talk to as many people as you can.
  • Social Media: Almost everyone is on social media, and they’re only one direct message away. Look for business professionals you think would be instrumental in your career and comment on their posts. Ask them questions about themselves and how they became successful. More likely than not, they’ll be more than happy to tell you.

Networking is a must if you want to be successful in your career. Who you know can be just as important as how well you do your job. By following these tips, your networking skills will be as stellar as your job performance, opening the doors to many job opportunities for you.

Disclaimer: The opinions and views of guest contributors are not necessarily those of theglasshammer.com

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Hidden Truths about Making Gender Equality Possible for Ambitious, Dual Career Couples

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Guest contributed by Lisa Levey

Most millennials, particularly those that are highly educated, see an egalitarian marriage as the ideal.

Yet despite improvements, a clear divide persists in how women and men perceive – and experience – gender equality.

Men are far more optimistic about progress for women in the workplace and both genders don’t see eye-to-eye regarding what the other contributes to the care of the home and family. A 2017 study across eight countries found men were more likely to perceive housework and childcare as equally shared and both genders saw themselves, not their partners, as the ones scaling back on their careers after becoming a parent.

This blog shares hidden truths, based on extensive research and personal experience, about what does help to make gender equality not just an aspiration, but a reality, or far more of one.

Understanding the cycle of inequality:

It’s difficult for couples to appreciate, before children, the powerful forces that drive ambitious women and men, professional equals, to devolve into gendered norms after becoming parents. The story often goes something like this:

A child joins the family. Dad takes little time away from work, feeling the intensity of professional demands and the fear that prioritizing family will jeopardize future career prospects. While on parental leave, mom becomes the undisputed parent expert, owing to her daily immersion caring for their child. When mom returns to work, she becomes the flexible parent, typically by default. If like most new fathers, dad works more hours than before children, feeling the familiar professional pressures heightened by a powerful awareness of his provider role, one society continues to place disproportionately on his shoulders.

Dad continues his career climb, feeling an increased drive to maximize his income and professional potential. Meanwhile mom struggles mightily to combine her former professional life with motherhood. At work her inability to be all in, given her role as the primary parent, leads to misguided beliefs about her professional commitment and leadership potential. She feels disoriented and angry. She wonders why her life as a mother bears little resemblance to before, while her husband’s, pre versus post-child, seems little changed.

Understanding how parenthood comes to be the death knell of gender equality for so many couples with egalitarian intentions, puts couples in the driver’s seat, enabling them to navigate the challenges and make choices that keep them firmly on the gender equality path.

Cultivating a partnership mentality:

As couples feel the egalitarian ideal they highly value slipping away, it becomes natural to channel their anger and frustration at one another. A far better solution is for them to instead spend their precious energy to collectively identify, and employ, the levers of change they can influence such as simultaneously adapting work schedules to enable greater sharing at home and considering the tradeoffs involved with buying a bigger house.

Egalitarian couples come to see their partner on the same team rather than as the problem. Anchored by a shared perspective, possibilities open up as couples work together to navigate the real problems – the rampant attitudes, policies, and practices – that keep women and men from what they deeply desire: to be both successful, committed professionals and involved parents.

Planning ahead:

So often couples talk in broad strokes, with few specifics about having children, often underestimating the impact on many aspects of life – work, marriage, finances, and time. What helps is getting clarity on what’s most important for each person individually, and collectively as a couple, in this next phase of life.

Beginning with the question – What will it look like to nurture two professional careers once we become parents? – helps couples to create a joint work-life vision for their growing family. Discussing questions like those below enables couples to start imagining and planning how the first phase, of parenting pre-school children, could work.

  • How much child care feels comfortable?
  • How will we manage child care when the normal routine breaks down?
  • What will stay the same – and what will need to change – in how we manage our professional lives?
  • How will we ensure that the work-life model we’ve put into place is working?

These discussions help create a compass that guides decision making as couples confront the inevitable complexities, choices and tradeoffs required of dual-career parents. The goal is not to have all the answers but rather to begin a conversation, one that will stretch over decades, about how to put the puzzle pieces of their lives together in ways that seek to preserve the gender equality they value.

Prioritizing the couple relationship:

Becoming parents often leads to putting the couple relationship at the very bottom of the priority list. But women and men who seek a long-term, egalitarian relationship do so at their peril. The ongoing investment of time and attention is foundational in cementing the egalitarian mold for combining careers and caretaking.

What this means is the couple relationship needs to be on par with – if not more important than – either children or work. Egalitarian couples walk in each other’s shoes, intimately understanding all it takes to make the engine of work and family run. This sharing facilitates the depth of connection that helps relationships endure long beyond the child rearing years.

Supporting atypical gender norms:

Armed with the understanding that powerful norms reinforce traditional gender roles, egalitarian parents work pro-actively to counter them. That could mean: saving money well before a child is born or adopted, allowing dad to also take an extended parental leave or dad clarifying new boundaries at work, enabling him to more equally share the demands of being a caregiver,enabling his partner to keep investing in her career.

Supporting atypical norms could mean mom fighting her tendency to over manage at home, instead treating her husband as a true co-parent, or bringing down the pressure by relaxing her cleanliness standards, instead prioritizing time for connection and fun.

Realizing the power of modeling for your kids:

Confronting the challenges to gender equality in a world of gender inequality is easier when it becomes a parenting goal. In interviewing couples seeking to walk the egalitarian path, I heard them repeatedly describe how meaningful it felt to show their children that women and men can be amazing caretakers and ambitious professionals. Stopping to consider what messages their behaviors send to their children helps mothers and fathers to step back and readjust when inevitably, they veer off course from their egalitarian ideal.

Living within your means:

Money plays an outsized role in a couple’s ability to create an egalitarian partnership and it’s not just about the pay equity gap. Rather couples at their financial edge feel the need to maximize income, often leading to privileging the more lucrative job and through time widening the gap in importance and earnings between their two careers.

The problem with the more lucrative earner being seen as having the primary career is that it greatly reduces his, or her, ability to make choices, such as putting limits on excessive work demands or leaving a job that’s unhealthy or a poor fit. Creating an economic buffer allows couples to pivot as needed, all the while continuing to value both careers.

Though dual career couples are ubiquitous, egalitarian couples are not. The difference is both nuanced and profound. For couples who want equality to characterize their lives together as parents, it requires awareness and skill to write their own work-life script, because even in 2018 the egalitarian model of careers and kids remains the road far less travelled.

About the author

Lisa Levey is a veteran diversity consultant, working with leading organizations to assist them in realizing the underutilized leadership potential of women. Her current work focuses on engaging men as allies and partners. As a consultant, she led the design and development of the Forte Foundation’s Male Ally signature resource platform. She blogs for the Glass Hammer, the Huffington Post and the Good Men Project on gender issues.

Her award-winning book The Libra Solution spotlights the obstacles and enablers to gender equality for dual-career professionals raising children. Lisa and her husband Bryan, a technology executive, have been featured in Fast Company magazine and on ABC News with Charlie Gibson in stories about their egalitarian work-life approach. Their coaching practice Genderworks supports dual-career professional couples in laying a foundation for, and navigating the obstacles to, gender equality as parents. Lisa earned an MBA with highest honors from the Simmons School of Management and a BS with distinction from Cornell University in applied economics

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Inequity: Take Control of Your Destiny at Work

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diversity

Image via Shutterstock

Guest contributed by Dr. Patti Fletcher

How can you make sure you’re valued and rewarded equitably with your male counterparts as you work your way up to the C-Suite?

Gender inequity in the workplace often begins subtly: women account for the majority of college graduates yet are hired at a slightly lower rate (48% for women versus 52% for men). But the pace of career and pay progression between men and women differs significantly after just a few years in the workforce. Men are 30% more likely to move into management, occupying 63% of manager level positions. As men move up the ladder, women’s progress stagnates—leading to an imbalance of power at the higher levels of business, with men holding 79% of C-suite positions. The pay gap follows a similar path; 63% of early career men earn more than their female peers. As women proceed to higher-level positions, the pay gap between them and their male peers grows at a significant rate with each rung in the corporate ladder.

The research paints a grim picture; but with an understanding about what’s at stake for women and the implications for companies that fail to recognize and reward their talent, women can use their personal power and grit to pave a path for themselves—and for the women who follow.

Beware the “Motherhood Penalty”

Lifetime salary and career progression are often determined during the woman’s thirties. This is when individual contributors start to enter the management ranks. Men receive the majority of promotions, giving them higher pay and greater access to new experiences, stretch projects, and people in positions of power and influence. Why? The common perception is that a woman’s priorities shift during this time—they go on maternity leave and then must balance raising a family and running the home with a full-time work schedule. Many people profess that women leave the workforce in significant numbers because it’s impossible for them to have it all at the same time. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Research shows is that only 11% of women who go on maternity leave do not return to work, or that women face demotion, few raises, and low performance ratings when they do return to work.

Often this is referred to as the motherhood penalty; women (with and without children) are punished for simply being in childbearing years. “There are long-term consequences to the Motherhood Penalty; pay increases are often based on salary history and opportunities for upward mobility require relationships with people in power and on strong track records,” says Dr. Gabby Burlacu, Human Capital Management Research and Solution Manager at SAP SuccessFactors.

Why business leaders are starting to pay attention to gender equity

With an unemployment rate of 4.1% and over six million open jobs yet to be filled, everyone from CEOs to hiring managers are struggling to acquire and retain top talent. It’s an applicant’s market—and leaders know it. “There is a recognition that workforce diversity is no longer a humanitarian or anti-white men topic. Without finding ways to attract and retain minority populations, business outcomes are at risk,” says Burlacu.

In addition, the economic imperative of promoting gender equity is a no-brainer. Women are 47% of the workforce, control 51% of personal wealth, make 90% of consumer purchase decisions, and reinvest 90% of their income back into the community in which they live. Further, if the women in the workforce today were paid on par with their male counterparts, $12 trillion dollars would be added to the global economy. Over the last 18 months, women have come together in a way not seen since the early days of the women’s movement. Through the scale and connectivity of social media, women can use their collective economic power to ban brands and avoid employers that have a bad record on gender equity.

How women can take charge of their own destiny

While the challenges women face throughout their careers are systemic and wrought by imbalances of power, many successful female executives have been able to achieve success on their own terms. You can transform barriers into strategies that lead to career advancement. Here are some key tips:

  1. Lead every sensitive conversation with the data that tells a story about the impact you’re making in achieving corporate objectives, making it easier for your boss to see the unconscious bias that may be clouding her/his decisions on your upward mobility versus your male peers.
  2. Don’t limit your skill building and career development to the programs your company offers. Enhance these opportunities by upskilling on technology and seeking out women who have gone before you who can share their insights with you.
  3. Be open and honest about your career aspirations with your manager and HR department so that they can help you navigate barriers obstructing your way.
  4. Keep advocating for yourself and be confident in the knowledge that you are in an applicant’s market. Take the advice Pat Milligan, who spearheads Mercer’s When Women Thrive research, sits on WEF steering committees, and has been recognized by the Kennedy Institute as one of the top 25 consultants in the U.S. As she says in DISRUPTERS: Success Strategies from Women Who Break the Mold “Trust me: the corporations need your talent way more than you need them. If you don’t get specific details on how you will be paid equally to men, on how your career will be supported with access to opportunities and people in power, move on to a company who will provide it.”

Dr. Patti Fletcher is a technology executive, gender equity advocate, and author of DISRUPTERS: Success Strategies from Women Who Break the Mold.

Disclaimer: The opinions and views of guest contributors are not necessarily those of theglasshammer.com

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Career or Calling? The Importance of Setting Authentic Goals

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letter writing

Image via Shutterstock

Guest contributed by Kim Forrester

Goal-setting is an obvious necessity for those who want to succeed and achieve. But what if you are seeking more than material success in your life and career? What if you also desire a sense of personal fulfilment; inspiration; purpose? If this is the case, it is vital that you choose goals that are not only challenging and rewarding. They must also be truly authentic.

According to Douglas Hall Ph.D. and Dawn Chandler Ph.D. of the Boston University School of Management, individuals with a strong sense of purpose in their career tend to benefit from enhanced meta-competencies; i.e. heightened self-awareness and greater adaptability. Subsequently, an individual with strong meta-competencies is able to learn other, more specific skills with greater ease.
This makes authentic goal-setting a powerful force in your career: an authentic goal not only appeals on a logical level (that is to say it looks like something worthy), it also resonates with who you are as an individual and injects an inherent sense of meaning and purpose into your daily work.

The greater truth of who you are

By its very definition an authentic goal is one that moves beyond social expectation and, instead, reflects a deeply personal and essentially unique understanding of your vision, your values and your greatest desires. There is no 7-Step-Plan to creating an authentic goal. What is required, is for you to become more aware of who you are.

If asked to describe your role in this world, many of you may say that you are a capable and ambitious woman; a committed team member and/or conscientious leader. A colleague, friend, daughter … perhaps a spouse or mother.

There are many words used to describe the concept of contributing in a truly meaningful way – you may know it as a vocation, calling, or ‘life purpose’ – but essentially they all stem from the same idea: you are a part of nature and, as such, you have inherent and inescapable instincts and abilities yearning to be expressed.

By defining and accomplishing more authentic goals, you not only enjoy the usual benefits of achievement (whether they be intellectual, fiscal, psychological or social) but you also nourish and reward your most fundamental essence – that intangible, natural sense of self.

Defining an authentic goal

Just as who you are, at a fundamental level, is often difficult to express in the conventional sense, defining your most authentic goals almost always requires the suspension of logic, reason and analysis. You are not going to ‘think’ your way to authenticity and you most certainly won’t find a blueprint for it anywhere ‘out there’.

If you are searching for more meaning in your career and life, it’s important to set goals that resonate with you authentically. You can do this by:

Switching off autopilot:

Every path to achievement that you have been told – every plan, process and formula for success – is simply a reflection of someone else’s story. And if we were all identical, living uniform, predictable lives, then your path to success could very well emulate someone else’s. But we are not identical and life is a complex tapestry of events, experiences and opportunities. In our logical society, it is easy to get stuck in the idea that the only way forward is the way it’s been done before, but you are unique, creative and capable. Let go of any concept of how things are supposed to work and carve your own path forward.

Trusting your intuition:

We have come to revere conscious decision-making as the highest form of thought; we are taught that logic and analysis will lead us to the best solution, every time. However, recent studies have suggested that we are, in fact, at the mercy of our unconscious brain. What this means for you, is that even the most ‘rational’ decision is being influenced by deeply-set, unconscious patterns and beliefs, including childhood memories and trauma, unhealthy behaviour patterns and deep rooted concepts of what you do, and do not, believe you are worthy of.

In contrast, researchers are beginning to understand the power of the ‘gut instinct’ and have discovered that unconscious urges and emotional prompts can actually increase the accuracy and confidence of decision making. It’s important to note that the vast majority of your physical and physiological processes are unconscious, so your body is a wonderful ally when seeking intuitive knowledge. It knows what’s good for us, and what’s not, so pay attention.

Listening to your language:

A little self-awareness around the words you use – out loud, and in your mind – can reveal a lot about your goals and your intent behind them. Listen to yourself. If you are doing something because you “should” or you “have to” then you are inviting in a sense of resistance and struggle; of obligation and disempowerment. Make sure you are choosing goals because you “want to”. If you want something, then it is an authentic desire and you will have the strength, resilience and creativity you need to achieve.

Kim Forrester is an award-winning author, educator and holistic wellness coach. She combines cutting-edge science with traditional spiritual teachings to inspire soulful living. Her book, Infinite Mind, explores the capabilities of the human mind and was awarded a Silver Medal in the 2017 Living Now Book Awards.

Disclaimer: The opinions and views of guest contributors are not necessarily those of theglasshammer.com

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5 Secrets to Ditching Limiting Beliefs and Living Your Dream

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Guest contributed by Diana Faison

dream

Image via Pexels

Do me a favor? Close your eyes and visualize achieving everything you want for yourself professionally. Two conditions are you cannot remain in your current position and no matter what you choose to do, you cannot fail. Allow your mind to imagine two or three possible paths—think big and aim high!

What are you doing? Why can’t you be doing it now? Many of us admire big thinkers and high achievers but we seldom see ourselves in that role. Why is that?

The answer is limiting beliefs—those thoughts that keep you from doing what you dream.

Limiting beliefs in women stem from multiple sources. One are outdated gender stereotypes that box us into traditional gender roles “Women are not supposed to be ambitious.” “Women should be nurturers, not leaders.” They also originate in the dark place within ourselves where self-doubt and denial reside. This is often referred to as the “impostor syndrome”

Many women want to stay comfortable in their current state rather than challenge themselves to achieve everything they are capable of. How can these women leaders be helped to recognize and replace these limiting beliefs with positive messages. The truth is we can ALL learn to funnel our energy in a positive direction. All of us can take steps RIGHT NOW to change our limiting beliefs.

Here’s how:

Dream bigger and aim higher. We often are mired in our perception of reality and focus on what we cannot do.  If you cannot see it, you will never become it.  Go tell someone your secret career dream, and remember play big, aim high.

Take a chance on you.Explore outside your comfort zone. Maybe that means accepting that stretch assignment opportunity or better yet go and ask for that stretch assignment!

Ask yourself: ‘What gives my life meaning and a sense of purpose?’Then, ask yourself: ‘What am I doing to address that purpose?’  If you struggle to answer either question, it’s time to go and find that life meaning and sense of purpose.

Create meaningful relationships. Research supports the idea that women are over mentored and under sponsored.  Create meaningful relationships by nurturing connections with men or women you admire and respect or with whom you want to work.  Reciprocate and offer your help.  Eventually, one or more of these people will become a sponsor for you and can open doors and opportunities.

Act with courage!Just say yes. Trust yourself to know that you’ll figure out  You are smart. You are capable. Take a leap of faith and take a chance on you.

By challenging ourselves to dream bigger and aim higher, we become better, stronger, female leaders. So, ditch those limiting beliefs and go get ’em!

Diana Faison is co-author of newly-released The Influence Effect: a new path to power for women leaders and partner at leadership firm, Flynn Heath Holt.

Disclaimer: The opinions and views of Guest contributors are not necessarily those of theglasshammer.com

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Changing Jobs: What Financial Benefits Do You Need to Think About Besides Your Salary?

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People waiting for an interview

Guest contributed by Marisa Joseph

The excitement of a new career path, or even taking on a different role within your current company, can be accompanied by new (and sometimes overwhelming) personal and professional considerations.

And, for women who’ve spent more time establishing their careers, these considerations can vary significantly from those just starting out.

When approaching this transition, be sure to evaluate (and understand) the potential impact on your lifestyle that a new job might bring, along with how your short- and long-term financial goals could be impacted each step of the way. One in four Americans feel some level of financial anxiety, according to a 2017 Northwestern Mutual survey, making addressing these considerations – no matter the stage of your career – a key step to moving forward with confidence.

Before you accept the offer, ask yourself a few questions:

1. What’s going to happen to my non-cash bonuses? If you received stock options at the company you’ll be leaving, make sure you’re aware of the implications when switching jobs. Review your offer letter and/or employment agreements to ensure you’re cashing out your stock options within a stipulated time of departure, and checking on potential tax implications.

2. Is my tax bracket going to change? Depending on your new salary, you could be bumped into a different tax bracket. By meeting with an accountant, you can better prepare yourself for offsetting a potential tax increase.

3. Is your potential employer offering other benefits that are important to you? Maybe you’re looking for a more flexible schedule in your new job, or perhaps the opportunity to go back to school. Remember to highlight these possibilities in conversations with your potential employer. Ask also about a sign-on bonus or annual incentives, as well as termination provisions, to ensure you’re maximizing your financial options.

Once you’ve begun your new role, take the time to review your benefits package to update or supplement as necessary.

Below is a list of what you should review:

1. How am I handling my retirement plan? Your new job may provide you with the opportunity to contribute to a company-sponsored retirement plan, such as a 401(k) or Roth IRA. If this is something you took advantage of at your previous job, a financial planner can help determine if rolling over your old plan – or keeping your money where it is – is the best option for staying on track with your retirement goals. And, if this is a new opportunity for you, make sure you review what your employer is willing to match so you can maximize your contributions.

2. What are my insurance options? Your new employer may also offer insurance plans for employees, which could include health, dental, disability and life insurance. By thoroughly reviewing your benefits, you can identify any gaps in what your employer is willing to offer for baseline coverage, and where you may want to purchase additional protection. Ask yourself also; will I need to pay more in premiums, copayments or deductibles for my family? Consider again talking with your financial planner for help navigating your options and understanding any of those gaps in insurance.

3. Is there a waiting period before my disability (and/or life) insurance coverage begins? Sometimes, new employees are required to wait 90 days before they become eligible to receive coverage. Find out if you fall into this category, and from there, identify if supplementary insurance could be an option to protect you and your family during the gap.

Finally, once you’ve made it though the first several months at your new job, it’s time to evaluate one more crucial metric.

1. Am I happy? While your job may have come with perks like the ability to have more discretionary income or additional vacation days, these can sometimes seem less attractive when coupled with demanding hours or difficult relationships with coworkers. Does the new job fit with your lifestyle? Is it putting you closer to achieving your long-term financial and professional goals? Consider discussing your thoughts and options with a trusted friend, mentor or coach to map out the next steps of your plan.

By keeping in mind this checklist of questions, you’ll be on your way to embracing your new position feeling confident and prepared.

Guest contributed by Marisa Joseph http://marisajoseph.nm.com

Disclaimer: The opinions and views of guest contributors are not necessarily those of theglasshammer.com

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The Business Case for Gender Diversity: Necessary But Not Sufficient

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diversity

Image via Shutterstock

Guest contributed by Lisa Levey

The business case or economic justification for gender diversity is front and center in any discussion of the subject.

Yet as a veteran diversity consultant, I don’t see the business case is getting the job done. It’s not that the business case is unimportant. Clearly, it’s critical but while the business case is necessary, it’s not sufficient.

There has long been evidence of the links between gender diversity and positive business outcomes – enhanced financial performance, greater creativity and innovation, and less risk among others. In 2008 the U.S. and the world fell into an economic downturn of epic proportions. Yet as late as the spring of 2007, the International Monetary Fund or IMF was messaging continued optimism for the global financial markets.

How could the IMF – explicitly tasked with monitoring the health of global financial markets – have missed the signs? An independent study found that ‘groupthink’ fueled by lack of diversity in perspective was to blame and gender diversity is a powerful means to bring that diversity of perspective to the table.

In June 2011 Christine LaGarde became the first female leader of the IMF replacing her predecessor Dominique Strauss-Kahn who was at the helm in the run-up to the global financial crisis. In 2016 LaGarde was unanimously voted for another 5 year term.  

The IMF example powerfully illustrates the limitations of the business-case only bias characterizing our current approach to justifying a focus on gender diversity. If bringing the world’s economies to their knees does not provide sufficient evidence of the business case for diversity – and the economic hazards of homogeneity – it’s clear the business case must only be a piece of a bigger puzzle.

Most white men approach gender diversity, all diversity truth be told, with trepidation. They experience the topic as harmful, fraught with conflict and risky. For some men, the very idea of enhanced gender diversity elicits anger. They perceive women’s initiatives as reverse discrimination and see support for greater gender diversity as undermining their professional security and status. Gender diversity makes many men feel awkward, confused and guilty; they keep their distance thinking, ‘I’m not one of those guys. I’m a good guy. I’m not doing anything wrong.’ But of all men’s problems with gender diversity, the biggest barrier to their involvement is indifference and apathy. In their mind’s, gender diversity is a women’s issue.

But that is where they would be completely mistaken!

Diversity is about evolving work cultures so that men can be the far more engaged fathers they long to be. Diversity is about men being able to take paternity leave – without career penalty – so they can experience the profound bonding with their child in his or her earliest days. Diversity is about men’s wives and partners being paid equitably, so she can contribute more financially, and he can feel less financial pressure. Diversity is about men’s mothers being able to reenter the workforce after divorce so that she can support herself and rebuild her self-esteem, in many cases. Diversity is about men’s sisters who want to leave unfaithful or violent husbands but don’t feel financially able to do so.

Diversity is about men’s daughters having the same professional opportunities as their sons and their sons having the same opportunities to be involved parents as their daughters. Diversity is about men’s daughters not having to deal with the sexually inappropriate norms that are pervasive in the workplace. Diversity is about men’s female bosses, many incredible mentors, not getting the opportunities they deserve because they’re deemed too nice – or not nice enough – to be a senior leader.

Diversity is about men recognizing that many of their seemingly harmless behaviors – assuming a new mother is not up for the challenge of a new job or stretch assignment without even asking her, making sexual jokes that demean, talking over women in meetings, paying the women you manage less than the men because you can – don’t just affect those other women. They affect his women [and girls] too by normalizing and perpetuating the status quo.   

While gender diversity is the smart thing to do in a business sense, it is also the right thing to do in so many ways. We shouldn’t be so reluctant in the business world to say that aloud! Helping men realize the connections between gender diversity at work – and in their lives outside of work – has been an enormous missing link. Gender diversity is not just about men helping women to thrive at work. It is about men being full partners in driving change because they know just how much gender diversity at work is connected to so many parts of their lives and has repercussions far beyond their workplaces.   

My vision is for white men to be an important voice at the diversity table, listening, sharing, and working to co-create new norms. Gender diversity is not a zero-sum game. It’s about evolving the work world for the 21st century in ways that improve the lives of women and men.

When we talk about gender diversity, in addition to articulating the economic case, let’s also talk about how it deeply affects men – the people they care about, the values they hold, the lives they want to lead, and the world they want to create for themselves and their children.   

Contributor Bio

Lisa Levey is a veteran diversity consultant, having worked with leading organizations for more than two decades to assist them in realizing the underutilized leadership potential of women. Her current work focuses on engaging men as allies and partners. She led the design and development of the Forte Foundation’s Male Ally signature resource platform for engaging men in diversity work and architected a pilot program to launch corporate male ally groups. She blogs for the Huffington Post and the Good Men Project on gender norms at work and at home. In the spring of 2018 partnering with her husband Bryan, Lisa is launching Genderworks, a coaching practice for dual-career professional parents to support them in navigating the obstacles to gender equality at work and at home. Lisa earned an MBA with highest honors from the Simmons School of Management and a BS with distinction from Cornell University in applied economics.

Disclaimer: The opinions and views of guest contributors are not necessarily those of theglasshammer.com

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Let’s Move from a Gender War to a Gender Partnership

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nominate

Guest contributed by Lisa Levey

Gender equality is not about winning a war!

The war metaphor distracts us with finger pointing, blaming, and endlessly seeking to justify who’s the perpetrator and who’s the victim. The war metaphor keeps us stuck. The reality is we all – both women and men – fall victim to highly gendered thinking. We are stuck in gender binaries and it has been, and in many ways continues to be, our conditioning.

In an experiment that has been repeated many times and redesigned in multiple ways, both women and men demonstrate a male-bias for leadership positions in the workplace. The experiment might go something like this: participants are asked to rate the resumes of candidates for a leadership position. They are told that each group will be evaluating the strength of one among multiple candidates. What the participants don’t know is that everyone is looking at the same exact resume. The only thing that has been changed is the name and gender [and in other experiments the race or ethnicity] of the candidate. Both women and men evaluate the supposed male candidate more favorably, even indicating he should be paid more.

The Revolution of Declining Expectations

Several years ago at the pinnacle of the financial implosion, I listened to Harvard Law Professor Nancy Gertner’s keynote address at a women’s leadership conference where she passionately described the women’s movement in the 1970’s as a revolution focused on changing the workplace and changing families, not about women having the choice to work outside the home. She went on to say that far too little had changed in either sphere and that change requires viable alternatives, which remained elusive, with companies overwhelmingly still family unfriendly and as a result, continued skewed gender norms at home. Retired Federal Judge Gertner [appointed during the Clinton administration] described the current state as the Revolution of Declining Expectations which needed to be remedied by igniting the consciousness of women and men[LL1] [LL2].

Yes, women can be a top leader -but if she has children, she had better be a good mom first. And men get major kudos for being an involved dad, BUT he better be a breadwinner too or we’re not quite sure what to make of him.
Both men and women suffer from a dissonance between their egalitarian ideology and their behavior. Take for instance the common scenario where a man strongly espouses gender equality, yet somehow that doesn’t translate to his negotiating a parental leave for more than a paltry week or two or realizing that his relationship to work must evolve if he plans on being a co-parent rather than a parent-assistant. No more flying out to a client on a day or two’s notice or heading out for 18 holes of golf, feeling fully justified because he spent an hour on Saturday morning playing with the kids.

I saw this dissonance in stark relief as a member of a research team examining millennial dads. In The New Millennial Dad: Understanding the Paradox of Today’s Fathers, two-thirds of men reported they should share care of their children equally with their spouse but only one-third actually did so. At the same time, over 90% of millennial fathers indicated wanting greater responsibility and men were twice as willing as women to seek advancement, even if it meant more time spent at work.

Similarly, a woman passionate about gender equality, especially about her husband sharing the load at home, fails to realize that her dictating the terms of engagement when it comes to parenting and household management renders him a servant, not a partner. Instead of grabbing the baby in frustration if dad doesn’t know what comforting techniques work best, she – and he – are better served in the long-run by her encouraging his efforts and giving him alone time with the baby when he can develop his comforting repertoire. And, if she blows a gasket when her husband returns from school shopping with their daughter sporting – to mom’s mind – an awful haircut, she must realize her parenting micromanagement not only saps his confidence but chills his desire to be involved.

The Mirror Image of Gender Inequality

The metaphor I’ve coined to illustrate the complexity of gender, and the fight for equality, is that of a mirror image.
Men, because of their gender, enjoy a privileged status in the workplace, which I’ve seen is highly challenging for many men to see or accept. His path upward is facilitated by countless subtle and not-so-subtle norms, ranging from male senior leaders who see in him themselves earlier in their careers, his knowing – having been schooled in the masculinity code – the importance of self-promotion for advancement, and his intense commitment and singular focus on work fueled by having a spouse or partner who is accountable for home and family management.

Similarly women, because of their gender, enjoy a privileged status as a parent and the leader at home. Everyone assumes a mother knows how to nurture a child instinctively, rather than the reality of her building skill through trial and error. School and camp default to mom as the go-to parent, even if dad explicitly asks to be called first, as my husband and I witnessed year after year after year. If a woman decides to step out of the workforce for a time, because the pressure at work feels too great and/or she wants to spend more time with her child, she is comforted by the familiar trope that she is being a good – no better – mother. But it’s hard to imagine a man feeling supported to stop working – or even cutting back at work – so he can be a better father. Ask dads who are the primary caretakers, as I have, about feeling welcomed into the mom clique at school or on the playground. While some have a positive story to tell, it’s far more common to hear about their feeling excluded, literally like the odd-man out

While women continue to struggle for their rightful place at the workplace leadership table, similarly men continue to struggle for their rightful place at home and as a parent/ caretaker for their loved ones.

The Power of Gender Partnerships

For the last 2 ½ years, I have seen the type of consciousness raising that Judge Gertner described as a remedy for the Revolution of Declining Expectations in a very unlikely place, the campuses of elite business schools. It began with my attending the first event hosted by the Harvard Business School Manbassadors, a group of men who sought to support gender equality at business school and in the workplace. Over more than two years, I have been researching male ally groups across the country and it has given me great hope for the future of gender equality.
These young men work closely with their female peers who are involved with women’s leadership groups on campus. They have candid conversations about gender, educate themselves about gender inequalities at work and at home, and work together to affect change.

I have been deeply inspired listening to young men share their desire to be a good partner in fully supporting their girlfriend’s/ wife’s career aspirations and being an inclusive leader that facilitates the professional development and advancement of women and men. They see supporting gender diversity and gender equality as both the smart thing as well as the right thing to do. They have seen the struggles of their sisters, mothers, friends and work colleagues and they have heard the challenges of their female business school peers. They want to make it better, not only for women but for themselves too. They don’t want to be absent dads and they’re tired of the locker room talk and behaviors. It doesn’t square with the women they see all around them, including the women they care about in their lives.

Male ally groups have provided a powerful forum for men to get involved and to transition from ‘the problem’ to ‘part of the solution.’ Working side-by-side with their female peers, these men and women are grappling with gender in all its complexity and seeking to rewrite the gender rules.

Rather than sapping our energy fighting with one another, or becoming resigned to ‘that’s the way it is,’ women and men can be far more effective working together to make gender equality real and not just aspirational in our lives.
That my friends, is key to getting us unstuck!

Contributor Bio:
Lisa Levey is a veteran diversity consultant, having worked with leading organizations for more than two decades to assist them in realizing the underutilized leadership potential of women. Her current work focuses on engaging men as allies and partners. She led the design and development of the Forte Foundation’s Male Ally signature resource platform for engaging men in diversity work and architected a pilot program to launch corporate male ally groups. She blogs for the Huffington Post and the Good Men Project on gender norms at work and at home. In the spring of 2018 partnering with her husband Bryan, Lisa is launching Genderworks, a coaching practice for dual-career professional parents to support them in navigating the obstacles to gender equality at work and at home. Lisa earned an MBA with highest honors from the Simmons School of Management and a BS with distinction from Cornell University in applied economics.  
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Women in Corporate America Continue to Feel Like a Square Peg in a Round Hole

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women stressed

Guest contributed by Lisa Levey

Gender diversity is on the radar in corporate America after more than 10 years of research highlighting the economic benefits of women in leadership roles.

Companies have invested in gender initiatives that aim to support women’s advancement and diversify the leadership pipeline. Some companies have been at it for multiple decades. Yet, the results seem to be much ado about nothing.

McKinsey and LeanIn’s 2017 annual Women in the Workplace report on the state of women’s advancement recounts the sad tale – women fall behind early in their careers and the gender gaps widen at each step along the career ladder. And year after year the changes are marginally positive at best.

So what is going on? Why despite much effort on the part of organizations does the big picture of women’s place in corporate America look eerily similar to 10, 20, or more years ago?

The truth is that despite much effort, corporate work environments – developed by and for men – continue to be defined by masculine rules of engagement. In multiple ways, so many women at work continue to feel like a square peg in a round hole.

Masculine and Feminine Behavioral Norms Diverge

To understand the disconnect, let’s begin with the well-researched premise that masculine behavioral norms are deeply linked to hierarchy. Men think in terms of competition and increasing their relative positioning, aka power and status. Dominance behaviors often define their approach.

Translated into the workplace, this looks like men bragging about their accomplishments – accomplishments that often are inflated. This looks like talking over others and mansplaining – talking without interruption – to control the floor or from lack of self-awareness. This looks like posturing and talking a big game to get the upper hand in a negotiation. This looks like sexualizing women – perhaps unintentionally – or intentionally with the goal of marginalizing them by seeking to ‘keep them in their place.’

Women have been socialized to equalize, rather than to differentiate, resulting in a predisposition to share rather than to concentrate power. Stephen Lukes, a sociologist who has written extensively about power, contrasts the approach of getting an individual to do something they may, or may not, want to do with a far more sophisticated and cooperative alternative in which both those who do – and do not – benefit from the status quo have agency to influence the system. Women tend toward the latter.

Translated into the workplace, this looks like sharing credit, even in situations where others played a small role. It translates into women being more soft-spoken and less likely to put someone on the spot. It translates into women focusing on shared goals, rather than power differentials, in negotiations.

The Rockefeller Foundation commissioned Korn Ferry to study women CEOs to learn how more women can make it to the top. What they found was, in comparison to their male counterparts, women CEOs demonstrated far more humility, were more likely to credit others as playing a central role in their shared success, and were significantly less likely to self promote.

Leadership = Men, Masculine Norms Prevail

Not surprisingly, leadership in the business world has been defined through the gender lens of masculinity, rendering women lacking. How many times has it been said, “she lacks gravitas” or “she doesn’t have enough executive presence to be a leader.”

Studies show that women are deeply drawn to a sense of purpose and meaning, often connected to helping others and to women’s vision of making the world a better place. A longitudinal study of more than 700 engineering students at premier universities found that a central reason so many women leave the engineering field was a disconnect between their drive to solve problems that make a difference in people’s lives and their workplace experience of corporate proclamations rather than demonstrated commitment to improving society. Similarly the Korn Ferry study reported women leaders were driven by a strong sense of purpose, perceiving their companies as positively impacting the world.

Research by the OECD [an organization focused on promoting policies that improve the economic and social well-being of people worldwide] and UNWomen show that when women have greater access to economic resources, they spend those dollars on things like health care and education, bettering not only themselves and their families but also their communities in the process. Yet in the business world, where cold, hard analytical thinking is king, male leaders denigrate women’s emotions, marginalizing women by characterizing them as ‘not tough enough to make the hard decisions’ or ‘lacking business acumen.’ Why then are men, driven by emotion as they make risky trades on the stock market and pursue questionable acquisitions, [most of which provide NO economic benefit to shareholders,], praised for their gutsy decisions and held blameless for failures rationalized as the cost of doing business?

For most professional women, advancement is very important but, it is not their only goal. Thus, they are more likely to forgo an opportunity that does not fit into the big picture of their life at that time. Commitment and hard work are not an issue for women but the all-in, all-the-time definition of leadership that prevails is.[i] How many women start their long workdays having already fed their children, thrown in a load of laundry, answered some emails, made lunches and maybe even started dinner? Yet women receive messaging that they aren’t committed enough!
Bain & Company’s 2014 US gender partity research found that while women start out with as much, or more, career ambition than their male peers, after two short years on the job, their career aspirations decline precipitously while men’s remain constant.

Why the big drop? Women continually encounter the masculine leadership norm of the ideal worker who is singularly focused because they have a partner who deals with all the rest. What if we stopped telling women they aren’t committed enough at work? And what if we start telling men that they and their loved-ones are paying the emotional price for their no limits, masculine leadership model?

To make matters worse, it seems that no matter how women behave, they just can’t seem to get it right. Women who meet stereotypical gender expectations of being nurturing and accommodating – are deemed likable but “not leadership material” – while women who are assertive get kudos for possessing leadership potential but also judged as lacking interpersonal skills. Leadership or likeability – it seems women can only pick one.

The Problematic Value Proposition for Aspiring Women Leaders

When women in the pipeline look up, they see struggle because of their gender, little support to figure it out, and the need to combat even greater – not less – gender bias with each step up the corporate ladder. Feminine behavioral norms are devalued and even when women behave like men, they’re still judged lacking. Why then are we surprised when women don’t say, “Please sign me up for more of that?”

McKinsey and LeanIn’s 2017 Women in the Workplace report captures the struggle. Women progress at a slower rate than their male colleagues, despite asking for promotions at comparable rates and being no more likely to leave their companies. In fact, men report they are more likely to receive raises and promotions without even having to ask. Women in the study were nearly 5 times as likely as men to report gender played a role in their chance for a promotion or raise. Is it any wonder why women lose optimism in their career potential?

While men are doing more at home than their father’s generation, women continue to disproportionately shoulder the load at home, in many cases enabling their partner’s singular work focus. And the cycle continues!

Meanwhile many men can’t even see that the playing field is tipped, essentially invalidating the lived experience of their women co-workers. It makes me think of the many women’s voices that have been twisted and silenced for so long when calling out sexual harassment. Finally in this Harvey Weinstein epoch, women are being heard.

Contributor Bio

Lisa Levey is a veteran diversity consultant, having worked with leading organizations for more than two decades to assist them in realizing the underutilized leadership potential of women. Her current work focuses on engaging men as allies and partners. She led the design and development of the Forte Foundation’s Male Ally signature resource platform for engaging men in diversity work and architected a pilot program to launch corporate male ally groups. She blogs for the Huffington Post and the Good Men Project on gender norms at work and at home. In the spring of 2018 partnering with her husband Bryan, Lisa is launching Genderworks, a coaching practice for dual-career professional parents to support them in navigating the obstacles to gender equality at work and at home. Lisa earned an MBA with highest honors from the Simmons School of Management and a BS with distinction from Cornell University in applied economics.

Disclaimer: The opinions and views of guest contributors are not necessarily those of theglasshammer.com

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