Contributed by CEO Coach Henna Inam

In my executive coaching practice, I come across strong and smart women leaders whose success has come from always being prepared, being “on,” proving that they are smarter and more competent than those they compete with for the next opportunity. In their effort to be perceived as strong they often have a hard time being vulnerable. This can now be the one thing that holds them back from their true leadership potential. How can vulnerability be your biggest strength?

The recent viral (three million views) Ted Talk by author Brene Brown discusses the importance of vulnerability. It got me thinking about how important vulnerability is as a leadership practice, particularly for transformational leaders. As transformational leaders our greatest source of impact is through connecting with others. Transformational leaders impact through personal influence of who they are rather than their positional power.  There can only be limited impact in leadership if we have no way to connect with others beyond our transactional hierarchical positions. According to Brene Brown our ability to be vulnerable requires courage and forms the basis for our connection with others, a connection that is critical if we are to inspire others.

But first a true story. I was recently in my zumba dance class when about half-way through the class I noticed an embarrassingly large tear in my zumba pants right around the inseam of the thigh. I was aghast. What if someone else noticed? All the spontaneity and the joy of zumba was gone and I spent the vast majority of the rest of the class somewhat self-conscious, trying my best to hide the tear, and not make very many moves (something sort of counter-productive if you’re in a zumba class). Ultimately I had a “what the heck” moment and decided to just come out of the closet, so to speak. Feigning as much nonchalance as I could muster, I declared to the person dancing next to me “Look at the tear in my pants. Any idea where I can get some good zumba pants?” I had expected some kind of a reaction…horror, embarrassed laugh. I didn’t get any. It was a matter-of-factly “I got a great deal at TJMaxx.” Whew! The fear of being vulnerable was big. The act of being vulnerable felt like relief.

You’re probably wondering “What does a wardrobe malfunction during Zumba have to do with leadership?” I think it’s an interesting metaphor for how, as leaders, we are embarrassed to “bare ourselves” to others. As a leader, have you ever felt that there are parts of yourself you’ve had to check at the door when you come to work? We all have aspects of ourselves that we’re afraid to share for fear of not being accepted, so we check them at the door.  We “numb” who we are to fit a mold that we believe is desirable. The hard part of this according to Brene Brown is that when we “numb ourselves” to not face this fear, it also kills off the joy and connection that we are fully capable of. This is the kind of connection that deeply engages others and creates our potential for transformational leadership.

At this point, I have a confession to make. I don’t do vulnerability well. It takes a lot of effort on my part.  I have spent my entire life convincing myself and others that I’m strong, smart, and in charge.  It got me high positions and stock options. Vulnerability seems like it would be the opposite. In my corporate jobs as a Region President or Chief Marketing Officer, I felt I needed to constantly prove my value to the organization by being smarter than the next person.

Vulnerability is particularly hard for women who have worked tirelessly to get to where they are, or have hidden parts of themselves to fit what they perceive as the “success mold.” So, in my effort to be strong, I made a decision to not be vulnerable, to not show too much emotion, to always be certain, to be convinced and convincing that I am right.

Here is what I have now discovered. Strength and vulnerability are not opposites. Vulnerability requires great levels of strength and courage. It is actually the next level of evolution in our strength as leaders. It requires courage to be who we are, despite our fears of not being accepted or liked.  It requires that we ourselves accept the parts of ourselves that we don’t like or are ashamed of. It requires courage to talk about our failures and take accountability for them. It requires courage to admit that we are feeling uncertain or that we don’t know all the answers. All of these require an evolution within our being in order to grow from being transactional to transformational leaders.

The story goes that the first thing Indra Nooyi did after being told that she was the chosen one to take on the role of CEO of Pepsi, was to get on a plane and get to her biggest competitor for the job. She wanted to convince him to stay with Pepsi. She told him she needed him and that the company would be better with him on board. That’s showing vulnerability. It takes courage.  A smaller person would have been only too glad to let their nemesis leave.

So, how do we evolve in our ability to be vulnerable? Here are some exercises to practice vulnerability.

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Contributed by The Runaway MBA

Diagonal networking. Have your heard of it?

Probably not… because I made it up several years ago. It’s a phrase that I coined after noticing a trend in networking efforts that were more and not less successful.

As I set off in my job search, I began the process of networking. Early in my career I observed that people were inherently afraid of one another. For many, the sound of the word “networking” sends chills down one’s spine. Networking has a multitude of definitions that include conversations with colleagues past and present to asking people that you may or may not know to connect on Linkedin. For me, networking meant socializing and finding ways to meet people that I did not know. With over 1,000 contacts in outlook and numerous alumni at my reach, I felt overwhelmed. Where to start? How? What would I say?

I needed to find a way to bridge this gap if I planned on being successful.

So I started to put myself out there – phone calls, coffee, and in office meetings. Each time I put myself out there I braced for the outcome. Every time I entered a situation I expected to maintain the status quo and was always surprised when I could find a good leads.

At first my success/failure ratio seemed random. I was disappointed when “close” colleagues let me down after my past favors, and surprised by the kindness of strangers. I chucked up the failed requests and conversations to other factors out of my control (i.e. company issues, bad day in the office, lack of sleep, etc). But factors that were not out of my control were not a factor. I managed to have successful interactions with people inside organizations that were falling apart and to be rejected by people in thriving organizations.

I am always looking for an angle and process to bisect around. It’s the mathematician in me ever working on how to back into a proof. Given: I want a meeting. Goal: How will I get there.

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Contributed by Dr. Suzanne Doyle-Morris

Female breadwinning is often seen as primarily benefitting women. We think of the wins for her – negotiating power in the relationship, freedom to leave a potentially bad match and the professional fulfillment that comes from pursuing a career. However, in writing Female Breadwinners: How They Make Relationships Work and Why They are the Future of the Modern Workforce, I found these benefits hid a larger truth. The true winners of women’s increasing economic empowerment are men; the men these women love, the men they live with, the men they support.

That’s not to say it’s always plain sailing for the early 21st century man whose partner out-earns him. It can lead to resentment, guilt, stress….on both sides. However, her earnings certainly allow a greater sense of freedom and choice than generations of men have known before. Who wouldn’t want to benefit from a higher family income without all the pressure to earn it oneself? As most families now feature two earners, knowing your partner, male or female, can financially provide is a necessity. In a world where security nets are scarce, not seeking a partner who can contribute to the family through labour or earnings is strange. To limit that choice according to gender roles is madness.

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Contributed by Binna Kim, Vice President, Cognito

There are many lessons to be learned from the 2008 financial crisis. With the emergence of game-changing regulations, such as Dodd-Frank in the US and EMIR in Europe, transparency has become the top priority for the financial services industry, whether operationally or financially. But what about transparency in communications? One unintentional fallout from the crisis and following recession was that we learnt an important lesson – that a good communications program provides invaluable air cover for any situation (and that a bad communications program can cause serious damage, as evident by the bank-bashing firestorm that took place over the last three years).

During the financial crisis, very few financial CEOs and executives stood up with a positive or empathetic message to share with their clients and the greater population.

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Contributed by JJ DiGeronimo

Have you often wondered why so many are updating, posting, reading and retweeting?  It could be a full time job if you think about all the information created daily.  For some it is – and for some of us it is a way to stay aware of the trends, reports, and news worthy details while highlighting our area of expertise.

Is there a way to leverage what you read to enhance your professional brand?

Many women, already over committed, initially see social media as a waste of time, and let’s face it, do we really need to be posting our whereabouts and food consumption habits? I agree – I am sure many are not really interested in my every move but there are many interested in a slice of my thoughts and it just so happens it is the same slice that provides me many of my career opportunities.

I stumbled across this easy, yet effective, way to keep my knowledge and expertise front and center.  Here’s how I did it.

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