Alter Your Outlook: Is Your Mindset Diminishing Your Success as a Leader?

NatalieRunyonContributed by Natalie Runyon

A recent Forbes article indicated that the perception of power—more so than gender—may have to do with women’s challenges with negotiation. And while this may be true, it does not change the outcome—we see little female influence at the top ranks of organizations. The mind is powerful and shapes our interpretations of events and experiences in the workplace. When driven by fear, it can overwhelm us with a constant dialogue of self-criticism. In a state of constant mental negativity, our leadership, influence, and confidence are undermined. Indeed, changing our mindset from negative to positive can literally change our perspective and enable greater leadership performance, influence, and advancement.

Could it really be that simple? In my experience, simple, yes; easy, no.

As a leadership coach to women, I deal with these challenges every day. Here’s how I advise my clients to alter their outlook.

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Iron Butterflies: Ushering in a New Era of Collaboration

BiruteRegineContributed by Dr. Birute Regine

The late US Congresswoman Bela Abzug said that in the 21st century “Women will change the nature of power, rather than power changing the nature of women.” And this is exactly what Iron Butterflies are quietly up to.

For thousands of years we have been a domination-based society that has used power over others. This use of power generates hierarchies, a frontier mentality, a “lone ranger” style leadership, a command and control approach that reveres “masculine” qualities of independence, autonomy, and individuality.

Some good things have come from this use of power: the industrial revolution, technology, architecture.

But if you think of the woes of the world—sexism, racism, terrorism, genocide, war, environmental degradation—what do they share in common? A use of power over others. A power that is no longer sustainable.

The world is begging for a different kind of leadership and Iron Butterflies are leading the way. They are ushering in a new era of cooperation by exercising a collaborative style of leadership that transforms the meaning of power from power over to power with and for others.

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Perspectives: Three Women in Finance on Presenting Oneself Professionally

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Cheerful employerBy Savita Iyer-Ahrestani (New York City)

While finance is still a male-dominated industry, these days, women’s style needn’t be crafted to blend in. For example, stylists like Ella Goldin, founder of New York-based styling and personal shopping firm Chic Inspiration, believe that the no-frills look women in the financial world embraced for so long is no longer necessary. Women who want to succeed in finance today, she says, have a better chance of climbing the ranks if they celebrate their womanhood rather than trying to hide it.

“In the past, women in finance and other male-dominated fields wanted to be just like men so that they could climb the work ladder, and they stuck strictly to dark suits in order to better blend in,” Goldin says. “Now, things have changed and I find that those women who really achieve professional success and are at the top as decision makers are the ones who stand out and don’t mind having a unique, beautiful and sophisticated look.”

Goldin believes that women in finance have a greater chance of succeeding professionally if their style represents who they are. “Confidence comes from feeling comfortable in your own skin,” she says, particularly in today’s highly competitive world, where so many talented people are out of work. Women who have a personal style and work with it rather than trying to hide it are those that are going to go the farthest, she says, “because as a woman, you have to have something that differentiates you from the next person.”

Here, three successful professionals who work in the world of finance, each with a unique sense of fashion, share advice on personal style for the next generation of industry leaders.

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What You Seize is What You Get

LynneMortonContributed by Lynne Morton, President, Performance Improvement Solutions

Today’s work environment is tougher than ever. The pressure to find or keep a managerial level position is immense. The pressure to deliver high performance and maintain a leadership role is intense. For many women, the challenges are coupled with the added pressures of striving to maintain personal or family balance. Yet that needn’t be seen as a sign of weakness. Women continue to want to achieve more professionally, and continue to show their abilities to do that well; there’s no weakness evident. Yet we need to be stronger than ever to survive. Today, survival is based on success. And that success can be achieved by those who go after it. In other words, success is achieved by those who see opportunities and who seize them.

In today’s tight job market, it is the person with the confidence and the qualifications who gets the job. Even though women are still, unfortunately, being paid less, companies are not rushing to hire women as a way to keep payrolls down. They are relying on what they think they need: strength during tough times. It’s time for us to get in touch with our inner strength and project that to the world.

According to the Pew Research Center, men outpace women in getting jobs. And women are getting laid off more so than men, at least in some industries. In financial services, long a male-dominated world, from 2007 to 2010, 12.5% of women in the financial industry lost their jobs, compared with 8.8% of men, per the Economic Policy Institute. It would seem that part of the problem comes from women being seen as weak, perhaps indecisive, and not standing up for themselves. Women are not making a strong enough case for the value they are bringing to their organizations… perhaps because they do not see it themselves. Clarity of vision is needed, internally and externally. Then action.

This is a time for bold action, for being decisive, and for standing up against fear or uncertainty. If what you see was what you got, we now know that what you see and seize is what you get. If times are tough, so are we and here’s how.

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Are you an Iron Butterfly? And why would you want to be one?

BiruteRegineContributed by Dr. Birute Regine

After writing the book, The Soul at Work: Engaging Complexity Science for Business Success, with science writer Roger Lewin, I realized that the great majority of the very successful, complexity-science oriented leaders we interviewed were men. Their leadership style shared an unusual attribute: a dynamic balance of traditionally feminine and masculine skills and values. They focused on relationships as the core of their management model, and argued that this would lead to healthy bottom line numbers. It did. One leader we interviewed had Maslow’s pyramid on his desk, except that at the bottom of the pyramid were “relationships,” rather than need. I wondered how the interplay between feminine and masculine skills might look like in women leaders.

I ended up interviewing sixty successful women from eight countries, and from many walks of life. They included: a Noble Peace Prize laureate, a famous novelist, a federal judge, lawyers, CEOs, entrepreneurs, artists, CFO, doctors, nurses, educators, and even a wine maker in Tuscany. What, I wondered, would I find in common in these women across this great sea of diversity?

I discovered four traits: paradoxical ways, “gatherers” of community, holistic thinking, relational intelligence.

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10 Ways to Take Control of Your Job Search!

Robert HellmannContributed by Robert Hellmann

Some clients who first come to me for help after a long and frustrating search attribute their difficulties to something they can’t control, such as age, experience (i.e. over- or under-qualified), weight, ethnic background, gender or, less often, some other physical feature. Yes, these biases do surface at times in the job search. But, once these clients start describing their search in more detail, nine times out of ten, I see that the problem is actually in their job-search strategy or execution!

So, if you have that “out of control” feeling, here’s a checklist of 10 things to make sure you are doing, to help you get back into the driver’s seat, and on the road to the job you want.

1. Are you “positioning” yourself correctly? That is, are you focusing on how you can help your target audience? This means dropping the jargon that is only relevant to your current or last job, and using the language of your next.

2. Are you too general, or trying to be all things to all people? This strategy can be tempting because this way you don’t rule anything out. The problem with the too general approach, however, is that people are not going to take the time to figure out how you can help them. Or, they will put you in a place you don’t want to be! Having a specific resume and pitch for each job target is the way to go.

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What Every Woman Should Know about Finances and Marriage

MonicaMazzeiContributed by Monica Mazzei, Family Law Partner at Sideman & Bancroft

There’s plenty of talk separately about relationships and personal finance, but very little practical knowledge on integrating the two. The headlines are grim. “Over 40% of marriages end in divorce.” “Money is the most common cause of arguments.” Clearly, there’s a need for more education! There are some fundamental “rules” that will help you avoid the financial pitfalls many couples fall victim to.

Rule #1: Talk about Finances with Your Partner Before You Get Married.

This may sound simple, but very few couples actually do this. It’s important to know the other person’s attitudes about money, what debt they may have and how it should be paid off during marriage, and what assets both people are bringing into the marriage. One pre-marriage counseling group had couples exchange credit reports during the first class… and many were shocked to learn about their fiancés credit card debt or the amount of their student loans. This tactic may have been extreme, but it forced couples to have this discussion before they got married. “Financial secrets” can be deadly to a marriage.

You also want to consider whether a pre-marital agreement is right for you. Many think that pre-marital agreements are only for the rich and famous, but that is not the case. A pre-marital agreement allows couples to decide how to treat assets, debts, and income during marriage, upon a divorce or upon the death of one another. A premarital agreement provides a couple with a customized financial road map, but perhaps more importantly, it forces couples to discuss their views about money and financial expectations before they get married. With the average age of couples marrying for the first time on the rise, and more and more women out-earning the men in their field, many women are coming into the marriage with assets (such as a home and retirement or investment accounts) and shouldn’t feel guilty about wanting to maintain those assets as their own.

Rule #2: Think of You and Your Spouse as Co-CFOs.

During marriage it’s important that you think of your family as a business and you and your spouse as Co-CFOs. Even if one person is better at handling the family finances, both people should be kept in the know about the finances and participate in major financial decisions. This can be easily accomplished by creating a family balance sheet, periodically updating it and taking the time to discuss it together. Couples who are effective communicators about money schedule weekly or monthly family meetings to discuss the status of the family finances. Some couples find it helpful to work with a financial planner and schedule annual or quarterly meetings to discuss the family finances and goals for the upcoming year. Hopefully, these tips will keep your marriage from falling within the 40% of those that end in divorce. However, if you find yourself starting the divorce process, having knowledge of the assets and debts (located on the family balance sheet) will make the process easier.

Rule #3: Keep One Foot in the Door.

Many women decide once they have children to focus on family and not work outside the home. Raising children is an important, tireless, and often under-appreciated job(!) – however, many women make the mistake of taking themselves out of the game completely only to find themselves in a position where they have to re-enter the workforce due to divorce, death of a spouse, or their spouse losing a job. Spousal support or alimony isn’t what it used to be. Women are more educated and have more career opportunities than they did twenty years ago. Generally, courts consider spousal support as rehabilitative, which means that typically the supported spouse will be expected to return to work and become self-supporting.

There are fairly easy things women can do to retain marketability when they no longer work outside the home such as volunteer work in their industry or field or keeping in touch with their business contacts – this can be as easy as sending out a holiday card or meeting a prior colleagues for lunch once a month.

Many people think that the number one cause of divorce is infidelity, but it’s actually money or finances. It’s amazing how much time and money are devoted to the “wedding day” and how little thought is given to a couple’s financial future. Thoughtful planning and educated decisions about money made before marriage provide a clear roadmap of a couple’s financial future. Although not very romantic, having open and frequent dialogues about money can alleviate the financial stress which is so often the cause of divorce.

Monica Mazzei is a Family Law Partner at Sideman & Bancroft in San Francisco, CA, where she specializes in dissolution actions involving complicated valuation and financial matters and complex community property and support issues.

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Leadership Lessons: Sorting through the Trip to the Top

SylviaContributed by Dr. Sylvia Lafair, Award Winning Author and Workplace Relationship Expert

Frustrated, she shook the ladder she was too tired to climb, had been climbing for years. It was just one more step and yet it looked like a mountain of ice. The call had been in the early morning, time when most would still be wandering down the paths between dreams and deep sleep.

They wanted her. They were offering her the CEO position. The meeting was set for day after tomorrow in London. It was all very hush-hush. Only the key people were in the loop. A diagnosis of inoperable cancer had changed the game. She knew she was a contender, yet that was in the succession plan for a future time – not now. But suddenly that last step on the ladder was to right here, right now.

She got up and started to plan her wardrobe. And then it hit her, like a hardball smack in her gut. Tomorrow was the day she was to be a chaperone with her son’s fourth grade class; an all day visit to the zoo. The trip she promised she would not change, no way, never, as she had done so many other times.

Her husband stirred from sleep. They talked. No – their son had enough of dad time; this one was a promise from a mom who was the major breadwinner, and because of that, was rarely available for school outings.

The demands were weighing down on her. Was the trip to the top really worth it? And so what’s the big deal about the trip to the zoo; she’s only a chaperone for crying out loud. This true story belongs to so many of us: moments of conflicting demands, moments of loyalty binds that choke us.

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The Non-Traditional Route for Women in Accounting: The Importance of Mentoring

Contributed by Sandra B. Richtermeyer, Ph.D., CMA, CPA

The accounting field offers great opportunities for women; however, it is unfortunate to see that while more than 55 percent of undergraduate accounting majors are women, only nine percent hold senior level roles, according to a recent CFO article. Although this data is disheartening, the disparity offers women a great opportunity to close this gap by playing a leading role in the growth and success of their peers. But how?

For the past five years, I have been involved with the Educational Foundation for Women in Accounting (EFWA), an organization with a primarily educational mission that stresses the importance of women’s involvement in mentoring. While there are scholarship and mentoring programs geared toward traditional undergraduate lifestyles, EFWA supports the nontraditional route for women in need – either due to a life changing circumstance, women in a career transition or for those who may not have had the opportunity to attend a four year college following high school.

Beyond monetary assistance, the need for emotional and moral support along the path of professional development is immeasurable. Mentoring encourages, enables and empowers women to seek and achieve equal opportunities and equal compensation.

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Dare to Ask – Learn the Right Tools to Negotiate Today

CaitClarkeContributed by Cait Clarke

The ‘inconvenient’ truth is that to fully prosper as both a class and – perhaps more importantly – as individuals, women must get better at asserting themselves. Policy and statute are certainly critical to stop flagrant, documentable abuses. Context is important. But women themselves must, in a phrase, become considerably more comfortable about asking for what they want and be adept in getting it.

It was to that end – empowering individual women with skills that couldn’t be marginalized – that I set out to write Dare to Ask! A Woman’s Guidebook to Successful Negotiation. Good negotiating texts available, but few directly show women how to negotiate as women!

There are many reasons women often avoid negotiating – some are part cultural, some are part social, and some are part biological.

  • Cultures worldwide almost universally proclaim the gender value that women not be perceived as pushy or aggressive vis-à-vis men (even at the level of language; for example, there is no male counterpart to the female term ‘bitch’ which adequately connotes the same tone of sexual possession and oppression).
  • Socially, women have historically been fixed in subordinate roles, and thus, conditioned to ‘operate below the radar’ to get what they want. In the absence of socially sanctioned power, one doesn’t have authority to make demands.
  • Biologically, women appear to have evolved in ways that facilitate social bonding (whereas men evolved with a premium placed on climbing and dominating hierarchies). Via a greater preponderance than men of such hormones as oxytocin (sometimes referred to as ‘the cuddle hormone’) and lesser amounts of testosterone, women behave in ways that favor ‘getting along by going along’. Negotiation, on the other hand, is typically perceived as confrontation.

One more factor needs to be mentioned: women have typically not been mentored in negotiating. Most fathers don’t teach daughters how to ‘dare to ask’ for what they want. At work, men will often be exposed early in their careers to situations that call for negotiating; women generally will not be (although this is starting to change as more women penetrate the glass ceiling).

Examples of women suffering from their well-documented reluctance to negotiate are legion. We cite in Dare to Ask! a classic study of the starting salaries of graduates from prestige business schools: those of men were 6% higher than those of women (even more when bonuses are included, with initial differentials compounding over time) because, unlike their female counterparts, they didn’t accept the first deal offered. Even women lawyers, working in a field that focuses on negotiations, are underpaid; at the highest level of elite firms, female partners are paid on average $66,000 less than their male counterparts (this according to Professor Joan Williams of the University of California Hastings Law School).

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