The Return on Investment for Executive Retreats

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executive wellness retreatBy Jessica Darmoni

Executive wellness retreats are often judged by their immediate costs: time away from work, financial investment, and short-term disruption. But their real return on investment shows up in longer-lasting gains such as clearer thinking, personal growth, and greater resilience. This makes them powerful tools for leaders operating in complex environments.

Below are a few takeaways when considering an executive retreat including: how participants can become some of your best friends, introducing you to new ideas and concepts as well as how retreats help you take action and strengthen a part of your brain called “the willpower muscle.”

A Social Media Algorithm IRL

In an era where algorithms shape what we read, watch, and believe, executive retreats offer something increasingly rare: a human algorithm designed for growth. The people you meet at retreats introduce you to new programs, ideas, books, music, leadership frameworks, and ways of thinking, but without the advertisements or agendas. Instead of being fed what reinforces who you already are, you are exposed to perspectives that gently, and sometimes uncomfortably, stretch who you might become.

Most leaders seek out retreats based on interests they already have, which immediately creates common ground. Whether it’s leadership development, wellness, strategy, or personal growth, you arrive knowing that everyone in the room has chosen to invest time, money, and attention into becoming better at something that matters. This shared intention accelerates trust.

Retreat Friends Can Be Some of Your Best Friends

What makes retreat connections particularly powerful, however, is not the similarities, but the differences. Retreat participants often come from outside your industry, geography, or social circle. They are people you would not naturally encounter in your day-to-day routine. That distance from familiarity creates space for impact. These individuals can influence not just what you think, but how you think and feel about your everyday life. Their questions land differently, their observations bypass internal defenses and their stories linger.

Over time, retreat friends often become some of your most meaningful relationships. They occupy a unique category, separate from family, colleagues, and long-time friends. There is little overlap, which creates a rare psychological safety. They can offer a clean perspective during moments of career inflection because they don’t know your boss, your board, your team or your history. It can be easier to share ambitions, doubts, and fears with people who hold no preconceived narrative about who you are supposed to be.

For executives, this matters because leadership can be isolating. The higher you rise, the fewer places exist where you can speak openly without consequence. Retreat relationships provide a neutral ground and one where insight is not filtered through politics or expectations. In those conversations, clarity often emerges not because someone gives advice, but because they listen without agenda.

Nothing Changes If Nothing Changes

Beyond relationships, retreats catalyze change in a more fundamental way. Awareness alone does not transform behavior. As comedian Theo Von succinctly put it, “Nothing changes if nothing changes.” Many leaders already know what they want to improve whether that be better health, stronger presence, clearer priorities or more balance. The challenge is not knowledge; it’s execution. Retreats create a structured interruption to routine that makes execution possible.

By removing leaders from their habitual environments, retreats disrupt autopilot thinking. They introduce friction, reflection, and intentional practice. Whether through guided discussion, physical challenge, or skill-building exercises, participants are asked to do something different and that is where growth takes place. Retreats provide a container where discomfort can feel purposeful rather than punishing, and experimentation can feel safe rather than risky.

Importantly, effective retreats do not exist in isolation from real life. The goal is not escape, but integration. The most impactful retreats help leaders translate insight into daily practice; how to bring a new habit, mindset, or leadership behavior back into boardrooms, meetings, and home life. Change becomes tangible when leaders leave with both inspiration and a practical path forward.

The Willpower Muscle

There is also a neurological dimension to this process. Addressing hard things quite literally grows the brain. Research points to the Anterior Mid-Cingulate Cortex, also known as the “willpower muscle,” as a key region involved in resilience, effort, and decision-making. This area increases in size when people engage in productive struggle, such as intense physical exercise or learning new skills. In other words, leaning into difficulty enhances cognitive agility.

Executive retreats often create precisely this kind of productive struggle. They ask leaders to confront limiting beliefs, test physical or mental endurance, and practice unfamiliar ways of thinking. The result is not just emotional insight, but biological reinforcement. Leaders who repeatedly choose to challenge themselves strengthen the neural pathways associated with persistence and adaptability, which are two traits essential in complex, fast-changing environments.

Choose Challenge Over Comfort

The value of executive retreats is not necessarily found in luxury locations or curated schedules. It is in the connecting of people, perspective, and purposeful discomfort. Retreats act as a living algorithm, introducing leaders to ideas and individuals they didn’t know they needed, accelerating self-awareness, and making change unavoidable.

For leaders committed to growth, retreats are not a break from real work. They are the work. They sharpen the mind, expand the network, and create the conditions where meaningful transformation can occur. In a world optimized for convenience, choosing a challenge and choosing people who challenge you, may be the most strategic decision of all.

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Evolved Wellbeing – the new executive wellbeing coaching and retreat company, brought to you by Nicki Gilmour, the Founder of theglasshammer.com. This is part of the Evolved People portfolio of offerings – that connects professional development to executive sustainability. Wellness is the cornerstone of high performance.

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Making the Most of Your Coaching Investment

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coaching investmentIn Part 2 of this series, we looked inside an executive coaching engagement, including how it is structured, how goals are set, and what to expect over the course of the engagement. However, no matter how well designed the process or the competency of the coach, executive coaching only delivers results when leaders actively engage in it.

Coaching is not something that happens to you. It is a partnership that depends on how you show up, what you practice between sessions, and how intentionally you apply insights in real-world situations. This final section focuses on how to maximize the value of coaching once you decide to invest so that the time, energy, and resources you commit translate into meaningful, lasting impact.

Come to Sessions Prepared

Treat coaching sessions as some of the most important meetings on your calendar. They are one of the few spaces designed entirely around you and your growth.

Before each session, take time to reflect on what has happened since your last conversation. What situations tested you? Where did you feel effective, or stuck? What commitments did you make, and what progress did you notice?Clarifying one or two priorities you want to focus on allows the session to go deeper, faster.

Your coach can work with whatever you bring, but the leaders who gain the most from coaching arrive with intention, not just updates.

Be Genuinely Open and Honest

Executive coaching works because it creates a confidential space for conversations that rarely happen elsewhere. It is the place where uncertainty, doubt, frustration, and missteps can be examined without consequence.

If you find yourself showing up polished, guarded, or overly strategic, pause. The most meaningful breakthroughs often come from exploring the things you hesitate to say out loud, like patterns you see but have not named, decisions you are avoiding, or feedback you are struggling to integrate.

This is not about oversharing or self-criticism. It is about speaking truth to what matters to move towards meaningful growth. Coaching is most powerful when it reflects what is actually happening, not what you wish were true.

Implement Between Sessions

The real work of coaching happens between conversations. Sessions create clarity and direction; progress comes from what you practice afterward.

This might include testing new leadership behaviors in meetings, applying decision-making frameworks in real time, soliciting feedback from colleagues, or carving out space for reflection. Small experiments done consistently are what turn insight into sustained change.

Coaching is active, not passive. Leaders who treat sessions as stand-alone conversations miss much of the value. Those who apply, reflect, and adjust between sessions see momentum build quickly.

Give Yourself Time to Grow

Leadership development is not linear. New habits take practice and perspective shifts happen gradually. Confidence grows through repetition, not revelation.

Most executive coaching engagements run three to six months at a minimum for this reason. Expect progress, but not perfection. Some weeks will feel energizing and clear; others may surface tension or discomfort. That is not a sign something is not working—it is often a sign you are working at the right level.

Consistency matters more than intensity. Small, sustained changes compound over time.

Share Your Development Strategically

While coaching conversations remain confidential, being open about your commitment to development can be beneficial. Letting your manager or select colleagues know that you are engaged in coaching signals ownership of your growth and often creates positive accountability.

It is not necessary to share details, but even naming the capabilities you are working on, like strategic thinking, executive presence, or navigating complexity, can reinforce alignment and invite support.

When done thoughtfully, this transparency normalizes leadership development and reinforces that growth is not remedial, it is expected.

Invest in Yourself

Executive coaching requires an investment of time, focus, and financial resources. The question leaders rightly ask is whether it is worth it.

Research consistently suggests that it is, but the return is not purely financial.  Many of the leaders we profiled here on theglasshammer.com pointed to lasting and meaningful impacts of executive coaching such as enhanced emotional intelligence, more effective communication, embracing a growth mindset, and an improved ability to flex one’s leadership style. Coaching can help leaders avoid years of frustration, misalignment, or stalled growth by accelerating learning that might otherwise come only through trial and error.

Organizations recognize this value as well. Companies that invest in leadership development through coaching often see higher engagement, stronger retention, and more resilient leadership pipelines.

Your Next Steps

If you are considering executive coaching, here is how to move forward thoughtfully.

Step 1: Clarify What You Want

Be specific about what would make coaching valuable for you. “Become a better leader” is too broad. “Strengthen my strategic voice in executive forums” or “prepare for a larger role within the next 12–18 months” gives focus and direction.

Your goals may relate to advancement, transition, leadership effectiveness, team performance, or sustainability. Clarity at the outset helps ensure the coaching engagement is designed to serve what matters most.

Step 2: Explore Support Options

Start by looking inside your organization. Many companies sponsor executive coaching for leaders, particularly at moments of increased scope, transition, or growth. If coaching is not already offered, raising the conversation with HR or your manager can be a productive first step, especially when framed around leadership effectiveness and business impact.

At Evolved People Coaching, we partner with both individuals and organizations, tailoring engagements to leadership goals, business realities, and development needs.  We offer assessments, including qualitative 360 feedback reports, to ground the work in data, providing a clear picture of strengths, patterns, and opportunities that inform a focused coaching plan from the start.

Whether sponsored by your organization or self-funded, the goal is the same: a coaching relationship designed to support meaningful, sustained growth.

Step 3: Commit Fully

Once you decide coaching is right for you, commit to the process. Protect time for sessions and reflection, engage honestly with the work, and apply what you are learning consistently.

Leaders who approach coaching with curiosity and discipline see results faster and more reliably.

Step 4: Measure and Adjust

Effective coaching includes regular check-ins on progress. Are you moving toward your stated goals? What changes are you noticing? Where do you want to go deeper?

These conversations keep the work aligned and ensure the engagement continues to serve your evolving needs.

The Choice That Changes Everything

Talent and hard work matter, but they are rarely enough on their own. The leaders who grow most effectively are intentional about their development. They seek feedback. They invest in perspective. They build capabilities before they are urgently needed.

You can navigate leadership through trial and error, learning slowly and reacting as challenges arise. Or you can engage a strategic partner who helps you think more clearly, act more intentionally, and grow with purpose.

If you are ready to explore what executive coaching could look like for you or your organization, schedule a complimentary exploratory conversation with Nicki Gilmour, founder and CEO of theglasshammer.com and Evolved People Coaching here: BOOK SESSION

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How Executive Coaching Works

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how executive coaching worksIn Part 1 of this series, we explored why executive coaching is a relevant development choice for leaders navigating complexity, rising expectations, and fewer built-in supports inside organizations as budgets are scrutinized in the learning function. We focused on what coaching can deliver: clarity, self-awareness, accountability, resilience, and a trusted thinking partnership.

Understanding how coaching actually works is the next step. The process itself is often discussed in abstract terms, which can make it difficult to know what to expect or how to evaluate whether coaching is right for you. This article takes a practical look at what happens inside a coaching engagement, how coaching conversations unfold, and what to consider when choosing a coach.

The Coaching Process

Most executive coaching engagements follow a structured rhythm rather than an open-ended or ad hoc approach. Coaching typically begins with an initial contracting and discovery phase, during which you and your coach clarify what your “north star” will be – the overarching goals you want to work on throughout the engagement. Even if you do not exactly know this as a defined sentence or paragraph, your coach will skillfully help you ascertain “what good looks like” by the end of the engagement.

In many engagements, this early phase includes the use of assessments or 360-degree qualitative feedback reports. These may involve leadership style inventories, personality or strengths assessments, or confidential feedback gathered from managers, peers, direct reports, and key stakeholders. At Evolved People Coaching, we offer assessments such as DiSC, Five Behaviors of a Cohesive Team, and the Hogan Leadership suite as well as comprehensive qualitative 360 stakeholder interviews and thematic feedback reports. The purpose of these tools is not evaluation or performance management, but insight. They help surface patterns, blind spots, and discrepancies between how leaders see themselves and how others experience them.

When used well, assessments and 360 feedback provide a shared data set that informs the coaching plan. They help focus the work on what will have the greatest impact, grounding coaching goals in both self-perception and external feedback.

From there, coaching sessions typically take place every two to four weeks and last between 60 and 90 minutes. Each session builds on the last, creating continuity and momentum over time. Sessions often include reflection on recent experiences, exploration of current challenges, examination of patterns or assumptions, and agreement on actions to test before the next meeting.

However, it is the action and work between sessions that really creates the forward momentum. Leaders apply new approaches, experiment with behaviors, seek feedback, and reflect on outcomes. This between-session application is where coaching moves from insight to meaningful change.

Most engagements last between three and twelve months, depending on the scope of goals and the complexity of the leader’s context. Some leaders engage a coach for a specific transition or challenge, while others work with a coach across multiple stages of their career.

What Actually Happens in Coaching Sessions

Coaching conversations differ from consulting or mentoring conversations in one important way: the focus is not on advice-giving. Rather than telling you what to do, a coach uses questions, reflection, and observation to help you think more clearly and see situations from new angles.

You might be asked questions such as: What feels most important here? What outcome are you aiming for? What assumptions are shaping your response? What are you saying “no” to if you say “yes” to this? What would it look like to experiment or bring curiosity to those challenging moments?

Over time, this style of inquiry helps leaders strengthen their own capacity for reflection and decision-making. Many leaders find that they begin asking themselves these questions outside of coaching sessions, applying the thinking process independently.

In addition to asking questions, a coach acts as a mirror. They may reflect patterns they notice, for example how you talk about success, where you hesitate, how you frame challenges, or where energy rises or drops. These observations help close the gap between intention and impact, allowing leaders to make more deliberate choices about how they show up.

The Coach–Client Relationship

At the core of effective coaching is a relationship built on trust, confidentiality, and partnership. Coaching conversations are confidential, even when the coaching is sponsored by an organization. This confidentiality creates psychological safety, the ability to speak openly about uncertainty, doubt, and complexity without fear of evaluation or consequence.

The relationship is also collaborative. You set the agenda for each session, decide what to work on, and choose which actions to take. The coach’s role is not to direct your career, but to support your thinking, challenge your assumptions, and help you stay aligned with your goals.

This partnership is what makes coaching distinct from mentoring, consulting, or performance management. The value lies not in expertise about your job, but in the quality of thinking the relationship enables.

Choosing the Right Executive Coach

The effectiveness of coaching depends heavily on the quality of the fit between coach and client. While there is no single “right” coach for everyone, several factors matter consistently.

Professional credentials provide a useful baseline. Certifications from organizations such as the International Coaching Federation (ICF) indicate that a coach has completed formal training, adheres to ethical standards, and has been assessed on coaching competency. While credentials alone do not guarantee quality, they signal a serious commitment to the profession.

Relevant experience is also worth considering. Some coaches specialize in particular industries, leadership levels, or types of transitions. Depending on your situation, experience in a similar context may help a coach understand your challenges more quickly. That said, strong coaching skill often matters more than industry expertise, as effective coaching centers on facilitating your thinking rather than providing content knowledge. Nicki Gilmour, our founder and head coach believes there is value in working with coaches who also have a background in social-organizational psychology, social work or clinical psychological or adult learning in addition to being a certified coach. Nicki states,

“Executives are part of a wider eco-system of other humans and their behaviors. This along with cultural norms around how work gets done, and other factors such as management practices, policies, systems and processes, means the work is powerful when seen through context of the team, manager and company itself. Empowering people to map the ‘systemic enablers and disablers’ when navigating their success in addition to looking at optimizing how they show up, creates impactful results.”

Chemistry and trust are critical. Coaching requires openness, reflection, and a willingness to be challenged. At Evolved People Coaching we offer a complimentary initial consultation or chemistry session. Use this time to notice whether you feel heard, whether the questions prompt new thinking, and whether the interaction feels both supportive and stretching. We have a range of coaches who have different styles (DiSC/Insights) and personalities and even backgrounds to ensure you get the right person to be able to be honest and vulnerable in the private sessions. We have an associate pool of ten coaches who we trust.

Finally, consider logistics and structure. Coaching is most effective when it fits realistically into your life. Discuss session frequency, format, and expectations upfront. Most coaching today occurs virtually, offering flexibility in both scheduling and access, but structure and consistency still matter. Face to face still matters and can be done, but virtual also works as well.

A Foundation for Making the Most of Coaching

Understanding how executive coaching works helps you engage more intentionally — whether you are considering coaching for the first time or refining an existing engagement. Coaching is not a passive experience. Its impact depends on clarity of goals, quality of the relationship, and the leader’s willingness to reflect, experiment, and apply insights in real time.

In Part 3 of this series, we will turn to how leaders can make the most of their investment in coaching. We will explore how to approach coaching with intention and practical next steps for beginning a coaching relationship that genuinely supports your growth.

If you are ready to start, please book in with Nicki Gilmour to have a complimentary call to explore your goals and challenges and be matched with the right coach here: BOOK SESSION

By Jessica Robaire, writer for theglasshammer, executive coach at Evolved People Coaching

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Your Leadership Development Partner in 2026: How Executive Coaching Transforms Your Career Journey

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leadership development partner - executive coachingThe workplace in 2026 demands more from leaders than ever before. Hybrid teams still require some new management approaches to engage those in the room and on the screen. An understatement is that AI is reshaping how work gets done and will get done in the future. The result is a leadership landscape defined by ambiguity, fast-shifting expectations, and relentless productivity pressure.

Against this backdrop, choosing to engage an executive coach gives leaders the opportunity to think more deliberately about how they lead and how they grow. Research suggests that executive coaching supports improvements in leadership effectiveness, self-awareness, goal clarity, and resilience. Behaviorial flexing to learning, thinking styles and task styles are capabilities and can be learned as skills and have become increasingly important as roles expand and complexity increases.

To offer a comprehensive view of executive coaching, this three-part series explores not only its potential benefits, but also what executive coaching is, how it works, and how leaders can make the most of the investment. Whether you are an executive paying for your own development or an HR professional looking for leadership development coaches and team coaching in an offsite format, we want to hear from you.

Part 1 focuses on why executive coaching matters. It reviews the evolving demands on leaders, and the concrete outcomes associated with a high-quality coaching engagement.

Part 2 looks behind the curtain at how executive coaching actually works — what happens inside a coaching relationship, how the process unfolds, and how to evaluate and select the right coach for your goals, style, and context.

Part 3 turns to how to make the most of your investment, exploring how to actively engage in coaching to accelerate growth and practical next steps to move forward.

Why Executive Coaching Matters

Corporate training budgets today remain heavily weighted toward technical skills, systems training, and compliance requirements. Leadership development, when it exists, is often episodic rather than sustained. Traditional mentorship programs have largely disappeared in remote and hybrid environments. The informal learning that once happened through hallway conversations and after-work gatherings has changed in quantity and also was never a completely consistent practice by or for all.

Meanwhile, leadership complexity has intensified. Leaders are managing teams across time zones, navigating constant technological change, making decisions with incomplete information, and doing it all while maintaining work-life integration that often feels elusive.

Engaging with an executive coach helps leaders chart a path through the complexity. It provides personalized development when organizations cannot, strategic guidance when you are facing novel challenges, and accountability when it is easy to deprioritize your own growth.

This personalized approach matters because leadership is not one-size-fits-all. The skills that make you effective are deeply connected to who you are: your values, your strengths, your communication style, your life circumstances. Coaching helps you develop leadership that is both effective and authentic.

What Executive Coaching Actually Delivers

Let’s move beyond abstractions to concrete outcomes you can expect from a quality coaching engagement:

1. Clarity That Drives Action

Given the many demands on leaders today, it is no wonder that many feel like they are operating in perpetual reaction mode: responding to emails, attending meetings, and putting out fires. Coaching creates space for leaders to step back and ask fundamental questions: What am I actually trying to achieve? What matters most? Where should I focus my limited time and energy? What does success look like for me personally, not just professionally?

This clarity becomes a decision-making filter so that when opportunities arise, you can evaluate them against your actual priorities rather than defaulting to yes or getting swept along by others’ agendas. Research shows that working with an executive coach increases goal clarity and goal attainment, helping leaders move from urgency-driven behavior to intentional, strategic action.

2. Self-Awareness That Transforms Effectiveness

You cannot see yourself the way others see you. You can’t observe your own patterns, blind spots, or the gap between your intentions and your impact. This is where coaching becomes invaluable.

Through powerful questions, reflection exercises, and sometimes formal assessments, coaching builds the self-awareness that distinguishes good leaders from great ones. You discover how your communication style lands with different people, which strengths you’re overusing or undervaluing, what triggers cause you to react rather than respond, and where your assumptions limit your possibilities. Of note, leadership research consistently links emotional intelligence, of which self-awareness is a key component, to leadership effectiveness, team cohesion, and motivation, which executive coaching helps leaders develop over time.

3. Strategies for Your Specific Challenges

Leadership challenges are often maddeningly context-specific. How do you give difficult feedback to a high performer who has behaviors that negatively effect team culture? How do you influence senior stakeholders when you lack formal authority? How do you manage your energy when your role demands constant availability? How do you make the case for promotion without seeming entitled?

Books and training programs offer general principles. Your coach helps you develop strategies tailored to your specific situation, taking into account your organizational culture, your relationships, your constraints, and your goals. Generic advice rarely moves the needle; specific strategies do.

4. Accountability That Drives Change

Knowing what to do and actually doing it are entirely different challenges. We’ve all set goals only to abandon them when the daily grind takes over. Coaching provides structure and accountability that transforms intentions into actions.

Your coach holds you accountable not through judgment but through partnership. Between sessions, you implement agreed-upon actions, experiment with new approaches, gather feedback, and track progress. They then return to reflect on what worked, what didn’t, and what to adjust next. This cycle of action and reflection is where lasting change occurs.

5. Resilience to Navigate Setbacks

Every career includes setbacks: projects that fail, promotions you don’t get, relationships that sour, or reorganizations that derail your plans. How you respond to these moments often matters more than the setbacks themselves.

Coaching builds resilience by helping you process challenges productively, maintain perspective, develop coping strategies for high-stress situations, learn from failure without internalizing it as identity, and sustain motivation over time. Leadership coaching has been shown to increase leaders’ confidence in navigating their roles and improve trust in their direct reports, both critical factors in bouncing back from challenges.

6. Skills That Compound Over Time

Some professional development delivers immediate returns but little lasting value. Coaching is different. The skills you develop, like emotional intelligence or communication effectiveness, compound throughout your career.

A feedback framework learned today remains useful for decades. Increased self-awareness carries across roles and organizations. Communication shifts ripple through every future relationship. This compounding effect explains why coaching continues to deliver value long after the formal engagement ends.

7. Permission to Lead Authentically

Many professionals feel pressure to conform to leadership stereotypes that do not fit who they are. The charismatic extrovert. The tough boss. The relentless competitor.

Coaching offers a third option: developing a leadership style that is both effective and authentically you. This means honoring your values while building influence, leading in ways that energize rather than drain you, using your natural strengths rather than trying to eliminate weaknesses, and building teams that complement your style rather than compensate for it. Coaching helps you lead from a place of integrity and self-knowledge rather than imitation.

8. A Thinking Partner for Complex Decisions

Senior leadership can be isolating. The higher you rise, the fewer people you can speak with candidly. Your direct reports need confidence. Your boss evaluates judgment. Your peers may compete.

An executive coach becomes a confidential thinking partner, someone without agenda or judgment, providing a confidential space to think out loud, test ideas, and consider implications before acting. Having this thinking partner is not a sign of weakness; it is a strategic advantage that many effective leaders leverage intentionally.

A Deliberate Investment in How You Lead

Executive coaching is about supporting leaders at moments when complexity increases, stakes rise, and familiar strategies no longer suffice. In a workplace defined by constant change, coaching offers something increasingly rare: time, perspective, and partnership focused entirely on how you lead and how you grow. If you are ready to be matched with one of our coaches, please book a free exploratory conversation with our Founder and Head Coach, Nicki Gilmour here: BOOK SESSION

By Nicki Gilmour, Founder and CEO, theglasshammer and Evolved People Coaching

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Radical Self-Trust: Eight Ways to Build Embodied Leadership (Pt. 2)

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build trust embody leadershipAs recently covered, the prerequisite to building trust as a leader is to cultivate a deep sense of self-trust. The most important (work) relationship you have is with yourself.

Executive presence has nothing on embodied presence. When you trust yourself, you carry yourself differently. A real leader is embodied. Trusting yourself means you move with more clarity, consistency, and congruency between your values, words, actions, and outcomes.

When you internally source your power and authority, it reflects in the quality of your presence, the willingness to take decisions, the faith in your movements, and in your adaptability and resilience amidst challenges.

As Maven Miara writes, “So why do so many women leaders struggle with self-trust? Because we’ve been conditioned to seek permission instead of power. Not anymore. Self-trust fuels confident leadership.”

Here are eight ways to build your sense of self-trust, and tips on how to apply each:

1) Know Thyself

To trust yourself, you must remain true to yourself. That means a willingness to un-know yourself and re-know who you are now. This means staying connected and listening within.

Self-awareness means recognizing the beliefs, patterns, conditioning, identities, and expectations that shape how you perceive and how you show up—yet, they are not your limitations. They are protective layers.

Beneath the layers, your essential self is always there. And wherever you are living in a way that is disconnected from who you really are, the truths of your being will be seeking to reach you.

Developing self-trust means coming back to trusting your own senses, instincts, values, preferences, perspectives, and intuition. You are able to sense what feels right to and for you and to discern what is not for you. Validating your intuition and inner knowing helps you to build self-esteem. Inner congruence reflects in your vitality.

Apply: Create moments of solitude to check-in with yourself. Keep small intentional rituals such as a five minute morning meditation. Journal to insightful questions that guide you to strip away stories and reconnect with your inner voice. Practice asking yourself what your needs or preferences are.

2) Practice Compassion and Emotional Awareness

Self-trust is also built on being connected to and responsive to your emotions and creating inner safety. Speaking to relationships, Linda and Charlie Bloom write in Psychology Today that self-trust is “having the conviction that you will be kind and respectful to yourself regardless of the outcome of your efforts.”

Self-trust requires you can trust that you will not be self-punishing when making mistakes. If the inner critic is constantly blaming and berating you, you will not feel safe to experiment and learn. If you are caught at self-protection, you will be unable to examine your experience for new insights.

Yet integrating the wisdom learned through mistakes is part of building self-trust and growing. It’s hard to do that as a non-forgiving perfectionist.

When self-criticism is usurped by self-compassion—the ability to be as understanding, supportive and encouraging as you would to someone else you deeply care about—you are able to expand as a human and leader.

Apply: When feeling triggered, breathe and check in with yourself about what you need. Ignoring your needs corrodes self-trust. Practice allowing feelings to be felt and pass through you, while garnering insight they may offer.

Create a self-gratitude journal where you acknowledge what you appreciate about yourself, challenges you’ve taken on, decisions you’re proud of, wins and successes and ways you trust yourself.

3) Be In the Present

If you lack self-trust, you are caught in past ruptures of credibility or you are worrying about the future. Sometimes, you are simply looking at the entire mountain, instead of taking each step as it comes.

Either way, you are caught in stories and removing yourself from the potent present moment. And, you are displacing your personal power instead of stepping into it exactly where it is—in the here and now.

Regret, worry, or burning out to make it work can parade as certainty and be oddly comforting. We project a false guise of certainty backwards or forwards, even if it’s unwanted: I won’t follow through or I won’t succeed or if I don’t force, it won’t happen.

The familiar story may feel safer to a tightly wound nervous system than embracing uncertainty and trusting in the moment (and yourself) to guide you and give rise to the right decisions and right actions.

As the Blooms point out, the paradox is fear and worry do not exist in the present, so being in the present is the ultimate protection.

Apply: Serious question. Have you ever thought of building your tolerance levels for being in the present moment? Without distraction? What would it would mean for you?

4) Release External Validation

At some level, when you don’t trust yourself, you will feel like an imposter not just at work, but in life. So you will be caught in seeking external approval and validation.

Chronic reassurance-seeking outsources the emotional labor of fear and anxiety and is crippling to self-trust. According to Gravitas Founder, Lisa Sun, the self-sustaining confidence of knowing your worth is most common among women over 50 years old. Tempering the urge for external reassurance certainly plays into this.

The ability to intentionally examine various angles or perspectives of an issue is a gift. Chronic second-guessing is a nightmare. When you have self-compassion, you are more willing to embrace uncertainty and make decisions, because your worth is not on the line.

Apply: Before you turn to someone else for an opinion or advice, get quiet, and ask your own. You may wish to both write the question and answer yourself. You may be surprised how much wisdom you’re sitting on.

5) Honor Your Boundaries

As Paulo Coehlo wrote, “When you say ‘yes’ to others, make sure you are not saying ‘no’ to yourself.” Author Caroline Myss talks about how ‘boundaries’ emerged into our everyday social language as we began to recognize ourselves as not only physical but also energetic beings.

Boundaries matter because self-trust requires a ‘sense of self’ to trust, and a sense of self requires discernment. When you lack integrity, you can be pulled in any direction or towards any whim, regardless of whether it’s aligned or resonant to your own inner truth.

Boundaries are not to keep others out, but to keep you whole and integral. They reflect an inner valuing and authentic contract with self. Some people even create an inner boundary with their inner critic. Your boundaries discern between what resonates and nurtures your being and what does not.

Sure, you could commit to your boss, meet every deadline, and keep every promise you’ve made to your team. But let’s say you’re entirely misplaced in this area of work and burning yourself out to do it. Will you trust yourself? Well, you may trust yourself to betray yourself.

Keeping promises to others does not alone build self-trust, if the promises violate your inner knowing or are inauthentic to you. Real self-trust and organic boundaries come from being aware enough of what your inner truths and values are, and knowing that you will not betray them.

Apply: Identify where are you saying ‘yes’ when it’s truly a ‘no’ for you. What would ‘no’ feel like? Is there anywhere in life where you are violating your own boundaries?

6) Keep Your Word With Yourself

If you habitually break your word with yourself, how can you build self-trust? Lying to yourself, even in small ways, wreaks havoc within. When you don’t believe yourself, you don’t believe in yourself. But nothing builds self-trust faster than keeping your word with self.

Keeping promises with yourself means validating what matters to you and assigning this as much importance and priority as outside demands. When you meet the commitments you make with others, but always compromise the ones you made with yourself, you are sending your cells a message: you don’t matter.

If someone treats you like you’re not important to them, do you trust them? In order to rebuild self-trust, you need to treat your word with yourself at least as importantly as you do your word with others.

Identify what is really important to you, and be transparent with yourself about it. Show up consistently to yourself in small ways, and let it build, step by step, towards momentum, results, and more self-trust.

Apply: Listen in and clarify what is important to you. Where are you ignoring this? Where are you keeping your word with self and where are you bending it? Set reasonable and achievable commitments, treat them as real, and acknowledge when you fulfill them. Be realistic.

7) Take On Risk And Challenge

If you rarely take on new challenges, explore new expressions, or take yourself out of your comfort zone, you won’t have the experiences which build more self-trust.

One risk you can take to build self-trust is to speak up in a room where you’d normally hold back. Put your weight behind the value of your voice and your perspectives, rather than asking permission to.

Expanding into new skills is a way to build self-efficacy and increase a sense of personal competence. Through putting yourself into the valuable role of beginner in unfamiliar territory, you learn you are capable and adaptable to challenges and setbacks. You may discover gifts and capacities beyond the ones you knew.

Apply: Choose one thing you are already curious about and invest in growing in that area. Check the first challenge that comes to mind—is it truly out of your comfort zone? If you’re an adrenaline junkie, a marathon may not be the challenge. Yin yoga might be.

8) Practice Accountability

When you take accountability for your own perspectives, actions, behaviors, and outcomes, you build self-trust. Accountability is a sign that you trust yourself, because when you err, you do not collapse into shame or deflect responsibility. Rather, you see the moment as an opportunity to step even more into integrity.

Even more than to others, ownership demonstrates your credibility to yourself. Not only do you hold what happened differently, you feel and experience it differently, too.

You know you have grown when you can own your part in an undesirable outcome. Or when something that would have wilted you becomes an insight from which to learn. Equally, owning your part helps you to discern what is not yours to own or internalize.

Being accountable also means a willingness to see and honestly assess the reality in front of you. Because when you do this, you can move from a place of grounded empowerment. It means being honest even when it’s hard to, including with yourself.

Apply: Notice how taking accountability, and owning your part, has helped to liberate you and for you to grow. Where in life would you like to see more clearly and take more accountability? How can you start?

BONUS: Trust in Life

Self-trust is not hyper-independence and it’s also not being a control freak.

It’s trusting yourself enough to cultivate dynamics of interdependence, because you are able to extend that trust to others who have also earned it. Connection, collaboration, and co-creation depend on this. How we trust others (or don’t trust) reflects our self-image and how much we trust ourselves. If you required others to always do exactly as you wished, you would never trust them.

If you require yourself to flawlessly do exactly as you wished, you will likely never trust yourself. From models of understanding such as Human Design, not everyone is meant to work or create or make decisions the same. What makes us effective and what fulfills us expresses differently. Being curious about how we work helps us to build trust.

But it goes even further, if you require life to always be exactly as you wish it to be, you will not trust in life. Paradoxically, self-trust requires a willingness to surrender. When you trust in something greater than yourself, call it life or universal forces or the divine, not everything comes down to you and what you alone can control.

When you value yourself, humility breeds self-trust. And the more you are able to release your grip on the wheel, and be receptive to be guided by life, the more willing you may be to trust when you know your hands belong there.

By: Aimee Hansen is a long time writer and heart coach with theglasshammer.com. Her recent work includes “This Book is a Retreat” co-written with Marianne Richmond.

If you would like to work with Aimee or any of our coaches including Nicki Gilmour our head coach and founder, please click HERE for a free, exploratory call with Nicki who can match you with the right coach for you (we have six coaches, all with different backgrounds who can help you depending on what you need).

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Words of Wisdom from Women in Leadership 2025 (Part 2)

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Words of Wisdom 2025 part 2Part 2 of Words of Wisdom 2025 features women leaders who highlight the power of owning your identity, trusting your instincts, and creating environments where others can excel. They also speak openly about navigating visibility in male-dominated spaces, redefining success on their own terms, and choosing collaboration over competition. Their reflections remind us that leadership is not just about what you achieve, but about how you show up, what you stand for, and the communities you build along the way.

These insights paint a picture of leadership that is grounded, human, and deeply personal. And as we share their perspectives, we also look ahead to how coaching can support leaders in living these principles more fully and navigating their careers with clarity and confidence.

On Being Yourself – Truly:

“I wasn’t out in the first decade of my career at the NFL…Everyone always says, ‘Be yourself,’ but that’s easy when you look and act like the default person at an organization,” she reflects. “It’s a lot more challenging when you are a member of the gay community, or the Black community, or the Latinx community…when I felt confident enough to make the change to come out and be myself unapologetically, I started to thrive.”

Sam Rappaport, CEO Blue80

On Being Bold and Owning What Makes You Unique:

“There’s a big real estate conference I go to every year,” she says. “You queue to board the flight, and it’s just a sea of men in navy suits. I make a point of wearing something bright and own the fact that I’m not the guy in the navy suit. I’m the woman in the bright red dress. It’s an opportunity to be seen.”

She emphasizes, “Being different can make you more memorable. It’s not just about gender. You might be younger, newer, or from a different background. Whatever it is, don’t be afraid to be visible. Have confidence and own it.”

Nicola Free: Managing Director, Head of CRE, EMEA, Wells Fargo

On Fostering Growth Over Competition:

“My Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu coach always says he never hides the best parts of his game because if someone can master it in two weeks and beat him, they deserve to win.” The same philosophy, she says, applies in leadership. “Helping my associate grow, bringing her along and giving her what I can to help her succeed doesn’t threaten me; it strengthens the team, and if I ever move on, she’s ready to step in.”

Marie Bober: Chief Compliance Officer and Senior Counsel, Moelis Asset Management

On Redefining Success:

“Your career is not a ladder, it’s a landscape. Don’t be afraid to move sideways, take a leap, or build something of your own and test a hypothesis. Solving a big problem is where the real growth lies. If you opt to build a hobby business that’s fine too. Just define what success means to you.”

Sally J. Clarke: Entrepreneur and Author

On Leading Collaboratively:

“I used to wait until every idea was perfect. Now, I bring it to the table early. It invites feedback and makes the work better.”

Heather Plumski: President, Stearns Bank

On Leaning on Your Values to Navigate Challenges:

“In facing challenges or change, I always go back to the questions: Am I in the right place? Am I surrounded by the right people? Am I learning? Am I growing? When you can identify core tenets to return to and hold yourself to them, they become a guide for navigating almost anything.”

Johanna Diaz: Global Head of Alternatives Product Strategy, Goldman Sachs

On the Importance of Building Community:

“I’ve moved and started over several times. Managing those transitions successfully is only possible when you make community, when you connect with people, when you find affinity and appreciate differences. The differences are where you learn.”

Angela Cruz: Sales Effectiveness Leader, Sales Excellence, Accenture

On Effective Communication in All Directions:

“With my team that means ensuring they understand the vision, are aligned around the priorities and the mission, and are inspired to do their best work to deliver for our clients. To do that, I spend a lot of time with the team individually and in groups.”

In communicating up and out to executives, regulators, and the board, Young explains, “It’s about taking the complex and making it simple, understanding your audience, and tailoring your message with the right level of detail.”

Nicole Young: Head of CRE Portfolio Management, Wells Fargo

On Building Teams Through Talent:

“High-performing teams are not built by accident; they come from spotting potential others might overlook and giving people the chance to prove themselves. One of my best hires did not meet the checklist on paper, but I knew she had what it would take. She went on to become a star. As Steve Jobs once said, it does not make sense to hire smart people and then tell them what to do. My role is to create the conditions for their talent to shine.”

Deborah Overdeput: Chief Operating Officer, Innovative Systems (FinScan, Enlighten, PostLocate)

Moving Into 2026 With Intention

The experiences shared in this collection show how leadership grows when you are willing to know yourself, trust your values, and stay open to learning. Whether you are choosing to be seen, strengthening communication, empowering talent, or building community, these moments of growth rarely happen by accident. They come from intention and support.

Executive coaching provides a dedicated space to strengthen these muscles. Research shows that coaching enhances emotional intelligence, builds communication agility, and helps leaders make more grounded, aligned decisions. A coach helps you explore what matters most, see patterns you may overlook, and translate your aspirations into meaningful action.

As the year comes to a close and you prepare to enter 2026, this is an ideal moment to pause and consider where you want to focus your energy next. If these stories sparked recognition or inspired a shift in how you see your own leadership, take that as encouragement to invest in yourself. An executive coach can help you clarify your direction, accelerate your development, and step into the new year with confidence and purpose.

Book your free exploratory coaching session today and begin 2026 with intention and momentum.

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Radical Self-Trust: The Work Relationship No One Talks About (Pt. 1)

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radical self-trustAs a leader who wishes to inspire and empower, you will be more impactful if you earn the trust of those whom you wish to lead. For that trust to be built upon a solid foundation, you must first cultivate a deep sense of inner self-trust.

It’s an axiom for a reason. The most important relationship is the one you build with yourself, and the relationship you wish to build with others begins with you.

Trust is Relational and Earned

Let’s talk relationship dynamics. Within the organism of any organization, trust is the precursor and basis of a functioning team. When trust is absent, the team cannot effectively resolve conflict, foster commitment, create accountability, or develop and deliver to its capacity.

Well, the same is true with yourself. Without a basis of self-trust, how can you confront decisions where you feel internally divided, authentically commit, be accountable, develop, or reach your goals?

Trust is also at the crux of any close, enduring relationship. Trust is not owed to another—it is earned. Trust is relational, and self-trust is a fundamental reflection of the quality of relationship you have with yourself.

  • What is the gap between your values and your life?
  • Between your words and your actions?
  • Between your knowing and your doing?
  • Between what truly matters to you and what you give time and energy to?

If there are real gaps, and you are a self-aware person, you will know and feel it—even if you avoid knowing that you know. These gaps create leaks in self-trust. They dilute your sense of self and integrity.

Self-trust comes from living in alignment with your truths and values, and being able to admit, and even amend, where you fall out of alignment.

The Self-Trust and Confidence Loop

According to Stephen M. R. Covey, self-trust is finding yourself credible. The four cores of credibility are comprised of:

Character (who you are):

  • Intent – being straightforward in motivation with genuine care in others
  • Integrity – being honest, keeping promises, aligning action and values, willingness to do the hard thing if the right thing

Competence (what you do):

  • Capabilities – gifts, skills, knowledge, styles of approaching
  • Results – your followthrough, consistency, and outcomes

As you build self-trust, it gives rise to a feeling of self-assurance and authentic confidence, based on a grounded experience of yourself that is greater than dips in motivation and emotional fluctuations. On a shaky day, you know you’re strong at the roots.

When your act with intent, leverage your capabilities, and follow through, you accumulate self-trust and generate confidence.

The loop then reinforces itself. The behaviors that build self-trust contribute to a feeling of confidence which gives you the courage to take more actions (such as trying new things, taking on challenges and making commitments) that lead to greater self-trust.

Six Types of Relational Trust—With Yourself?

In healthy relationships, there are six different kinds of trust that can be nurtured. One category is about self-trust. But what if you treated each as important to your relationship with self? Let’s adapt them and see.

1) Emotional trust – to allow vulnerability, show up to feelings with empathy rather than judgement, and to foster deeper connection.

  • How do you allow space for your emotions? What do you try to avoid or ignore feeling? What feeling could you be more open to?
  • How strong is your inner critic versus your inner sense of compassion? Whose voice is more prominent for you?
  • How are you kind to yourself? How do you trivialize or undermine your needs? How could you be more receptive and open to yourself?

2) Instrumental trust – to consistently show up, follow through on commitments, and keep promises.

  • How do you already show up consistently for what matters to you?
  • What is one way you could easily commit to regularly showing up to something important to you? Make it achievable.
  • How do you keep your word with yourself? How do you break your word with yourself?

3) Informational trust – to be able to be truthful, transparent, clear, and honest with yourself

  • How willing are you to admit the truths you know deep down within?
  • Where in your life may you be avoiding being honest with yourself or others?
  • Where in life would you like to become clearer and more transparent? What stops you?

4) Self-trust – to honor your worth, trust your judgement and intuition, and to show up to challenges

  • From where do your source your sense of self and worth? Is there anywhere where you are still trying to win approval?
  • What are examples of trusting your discernment or intuition? Where in life have you, or are you, dismissing your intuition?
  • What challenges have you taken on? What is a growth space you’d like to step into, but have yet to?

5) Situational trust – to be able to trust and rely on self in particular contexts, based on strengths and knowledge in that space

  • In what contexts, situations, and discussions do you really trust in yourself and your capacity?
  • In what contexts, situations, and discussions do you feel disconnected from your self-trust? Why?
  • Is there a context in which you wish to improve trust in self? How could you?

6) Physical trust – to feel safe in your own presence, knowing you will respect and protect your own health and safety

  • How are you looking after your wellbeing and health as the only human in charge of that job?
  • In what ways do you compromise your wellbeing and health? How could you be more protective and caring?
  • What would it mean to show yourself more love and respect? What would change?

It’s the one relationship you’ve been in since the moment you became aware of yourself, so it’s a good question to ask: do I have a relationship of trust with myself, and how can I improve that relationship?

And if you are willing, you may find the same is true as in any relationship. Growth requires a willingness to have the real, and sometimes challenging, conversations with yourself.

But if you do, integrity becomes its own reward.

 

By: Aimee Hansen is a long time writer and heart coach with theglasshammer.com. Her recent work includes “This Book is a Retreat” co-written with Marianne Richmond.

If you would like to work with Aimee or any of our coaches including Nicki Gilmour our head coach and founder, please click HERE for a free, exploratory call with Nicki who can match you with the right coach for you (we have six coaches, all with different backgrounds who can help you depending on what you need).

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The Capacity Equation: How High-Performing Women Sustain Energy and Clarity

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capacity equationModern leadership demands more than managing time and tasks. It requires being a master of personal capacity, and this is a matter of leading yourself first and foremost so that you can effectively and organically lead others, projects, or communities. For women in leadership, particularly in high-stakes industries like finance or law, the ability to protect and expand energy is a decisive leadership skill.

Female leaders are disproportionately at risk for burnout due to both visible and invisible labor (balancing intense workloads with emotional awareness, organizational care, familial responsibilities, and relationships). According to Deloitte’s survey Women @ Work: A Global Outlook, more than half of women in leadership roles report feeling burned out and for many, their stress levels are increasingly growing. The message is glaringly obvious that time management is no longer enough. Sustainable performance and success requires a new approach: energy intelligence.

Rethinking the Capacity Equation

Capacity can be thought of as the dynamic relationship between what fuels and what depletes. While time is finite and we cannot create more of it, capacity is expandable, but only with intention. When leaders continuously expend more than they replenish, they move into cognitive fatigue, emotional depletion, and eventually, diminished impact.

Neuroscience has long shown that chronic stress impairs access to the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain responsible for focus, empathy, and decision-making. When leaders operate in constant overdrive, they are quite literally functioning with less of their brain available. In a chronically stressed-out state of being, loss of resilience and cognitive rigidity are symptoms that may arise in response to the mental overload. The cost isn’t just personal, it ripples into the culture of teams and organizations because it derails your capacity to show up as your best self.

The Myth of Infinite Output

In our societal constructs, the path to success has been built on proving worth and value through unrelenting output. Yet this model is not sustainable and no longer necessary. The most effective leaders today aren’t those who give endlessly, but those who replenish strategically.

High-performing women who learn to manage their capacity shift from running on adrenaline and overcommitting to leading from alignment. They understand that clarity, creativity, and calm are not luxuries; they’re the foundation for performance that lasts let alone their own fulfillment.

Three Shifts to Expand Capacity

1. Move from time management to energy stewardship.

Traditional productivity frameworks focus on optimizing hours and hacks. But energy is made up of physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual well-being, and it’s what determines the quality of those hours. As Tony Schwartz and Catherine McCarthy argue in Harvard Business Review’s “Manage Your Energy, Not Your Time”, sustained performance comes from rhythmic renewal, not relentless effort. Intentionality is critical when it comes to designing each day around energetic pulls (demands on your energy) and extends (where you choose to give your energy).

Energy stewardship starts with awareness. We can regularly ask: Which activities energize me? Which consistently drain me? The answers reveal where to realign work, connections, and personal times toward what fuels vitality and effectiveness. Over time, prioritizing high-energy activities, such as creative endeavors, mentoring, and strategic thinking, creates greater output with less depletion.

2. Replace routines with intentional rituals.

Routines are autopilot behaviors done to check a box; rituals are conscious choices done to refuel. When leaders infuse intention into daily transitions like beginning the day, entering meetings, or closing the laptop, they create micro-moments of renewal.

Small rituals, like three deep breaths before a presentation, brewing coffee or tea in the present moment without a phone in hand, or a five-minute gratitude practice at the end of the day, reset the nervous system and sharpen focus. Rather than look at intentional pauses as inefficiencies where we could be doing something else, we need to see them as self-leadership strategies and energetic hygiene. They enable leaders to meet the next challenge with more presence and grounding instead of reactivity.

3. Shift from proving to preserving.

The instinct to prove competence, reliability, or capability is deeply ingrained, especially among women who’ve navigated demanding environments. Cultivating influence is about preservation through protecting the clarity, energy, and perspective that empowers leaders to operate at their highest level.

Preserving energy is not a retreat from ambition; it’s how ambition endures through inner alignment. Leaders who set boundaries, delegate strategically, and integrate rest model sustainable success for their teams. They demonstrate that resilience isn’t built in exhaustion, rather it’s built in recovery.

The New Leadership Power

Sustainable leadership is not about doing less, slowing down, or being less ambitious. Instead it’s about leading differently, and redefining power as the ability to remain centered, clear, and effective under pressure. When women leaders learn to manage their capacity, they not only elevate their own performance but also set a new cultural standard that well-being and excellence are not competing values.

The next era of leadership will not be defined by who can push the hardest, but by who can sustain the longest. Energy stewardship is not a personal wellness tactic, it’s a professional strategy and alignment is the future of leadership.

By: Erin Coupe is the author of I Can Fit That In and host of the podcast with the same name.

(Guest Contribution: The opinions and views of guest contributions are not necessarily those of theglasshammer.com)

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Op-Ed: What Muay Thai Teaches About Leadership and Resilience

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muay thai leadershipAfter moving to Singapore and stepping away from the intense pace of fintech leadership, I found unexpected lessons in Muay Thai, a sport that one needs to study the underlying culture to truly understand. Over a five-year period, I visited Thailand thirty times and interviewed world champion boxers such as Muay Thai Legend Chanchai Sor Tamarangsri.

Here are eight lessons I learnt from studying Muay Thai that apply to business.

1. Be conscious of your body language

Shattered after a gruelling few months running a financial technology software company, I decided to take a short break to train in Thailand. On the first morning, I was sitting on the side of the boxing ring at 7 a.m. at Rawai Muay Thai waiting for my class to start, stressing about next week’s meeting with my co-founders, which promised to be unpleasant.

The sun had already reached 38 degrees and I was the first student in the gym. One of the trainers was walking past when he abruptly stopped. He looked at me and said, “Better go home.” Taken aback, I challenged, “Why?” Putting his hands on my shoulders, he pushed me bolt upright, took my hands out of my lap where they were knotted together and lifted my chin. “Your body tells me, you can’t fight” he replied. “It looks small and weak. Think strong and you will be. If you can’t do that, better go to the beach.”

2. You must be resilient

Muay Thai training is gruelling. Not just the because of the physical aspects but mentally you have to be prepared. All Muay Thai trainers will tell you they can teach a student to have a perfect roundhouse kick, an incredible knee strike, but not courage or “heart”. You have to want to win and believe you can. Fighters that do not have heart may win the first or even the third round, but they are not going to last the distance. You can be smaller than your opponent but your spirit is everything. In fact it’s one with real physical consequences. Fighters lose eyes, suffer head injuries.

No matter how difficult a situation is at work, there are not going to be any physical dangers. No-one is going to knock you out. Turn up to your career like you would a Muay Thai fighter, with heart. If you can’t then perhaps question whether the career you have chosen to succeed in is right for you.

3. There are no short cuts. You have to prepare. You have to practice

Practice, practice, practice. How Muay Thai fighters physiologically approach every session, every exercise – in fact, everything they do – impacts their ability to perform technical skills under stress. They are keyed into what motivates them and drives them forward. Being fully prepared alleviates stress. If you know you have done your best, and have sought feedback from your colleagues and mentors, then there is every reason to believe you are going to succeed.

4. Walk away when you need to

Muay Thai fighters do not win by themselves. Boxing is a team sport and the best trainers love to share their knowledge. They want you to succeed and be the best version of yourself. You need to put the work in and show commitment. Learning Muay Thai is a two-way street, you can’t show up expecting to learn without putting in the effort. If you find yourself at a Muay Thai gym where the trainers are pushing you hard for private classes or on their mobile phones during sessions, walk away. Instantly. You are wasting your time. If you have co-founders who do not share your values, who shirk responsibilities and lie, cut a deal and move on. Muay Thai demands you make decisive decisions fast.

5. Control your emotions

Before entering a ring, Muay Thai fighters still their minds. They are calm. Think about how you would picture the gaze of a Monk, emerging from a mediative state. Envisage how peaceful and free of worry his eyes are. In Thailand, I had the honour of removing Kru Wah’s Mongkhon – a headpiece worn by Thai boxers while performing the pre-fight performance dance. Traditionally, these headpieces are still blessed by a monk and believed to possess special powers to protect and bring good luck to their wearer.

When saying positive words for the battle ahead, I was struck by Kru Wah’s relaxed demeanour. It was as if he had already won and was getting ready for bed after a good meal. Kru Wah’s fight was beautiful to watch. He executed each strike fast and effectively whilst maintaining his prima ballerina assoluta sense of balance. He was precise and exact regardless of the pressure being applied by his opponent.

When making a point or in tense situations, remain calm and take time to observe the body language and micro expressions of the people around you. That way you can better adjust to your audiences’ comments and insights. Have faith in the meeting strategy you have worked on with your colleagues and mentors and you’ll be sure to win the day.

6. Be grateful and give back

Mongkunpet was a young girl when I first met her in 2016. She had already fought 30 amateur boxing matches. At that time she was around 30 kilos. An exceptional athlete, Monkunpet has gone on to win national championship belts. During a fight in Phuket, she badly hurt her foot, breaking several toes. Somehow, she fought through the pain and won the match. The next day she limped into the training arena; formally bowed to each of the 12 teachers in gratitude, and limped out again. If a young girl can do this to thank her teachers, we should be able to find time to show appreciation to the mentors and teachers who selfishly helped us achieve goals. We should make a commitment to have mentees ourselves.

7. Choose a strategy that works for you

Once a Muay Thai boxer has successfully won a number of fights, their trainer will decide which fighting style best suits the student’s temperament. For example, Muay Femur fighters are best known for their high fight I.Q., patience and the ability to move between various styles of execution as needed. They are phenomenal at counterattacks. In contrast, a Muay Mat fighting style involves adopting a forward-moving aggressive approach and deploying explosive punching combinations to ultimately knockout their opponents.

Similarly, in business, you need to think about which competitive strategy works best for you. Are you a deeper thinker who prefers not to rush in, or more on the front foot when it comes to pushing forward your narrative… or neither of the two? Give thought to the type of company culture where you can excel wherever you are on your career journey.

8. Focus

You have to be 100 per cent present in Muay Thai training. It is not like a spin class where you can ponder over your lunch choices. When you have a hectic lifestyle, pressures at work or with juggling family commitments can accumulate and cause stress. Just training a couple of hours a week will make a difference. Because your mind will be at rest from thinking about other people or situations. Learning to focus completely is a terrific way of giving your mind a break.

 

Sally Clarke at her Muay Thai training gym

By: Sally J Clarke is a senior leader in the technology and art sectors. She has received prestigious awards and been invited to contribute to industry initiatives such as: Amazon Web Services Female Founders, (2022/2023), the La Salle College of the Arts Incubator Fund Award (2014), British Tech Advisory and the SunGard (now FIS) CEO Award. Sally frequently share insights on leadership, innovation, and the power of creativity. Her debut novel Ringside Gamble is available on Amazon and all good book stores.

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From Anxiety to Impact: Rethinking Networking

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rethinking networkingFor many professionals, the word “networking” sparks anxiety. The first thought is often, “What do I have to offer?” That fear is common, but it is also misplaced. Every one of us brings value to a conversation—whether it comes from professional experience, nonprofit involvement, or simply shared interests. The key is to shift your perspective: networking isn’t about proving your worth, it’s about finding common connections.

Start with Shared Ground

The easiest way to overcome networking anxiety is to say YES. If you’re invited to an event with a networking component, you already have something in common with everyone in the room—you all chose to be there. That shared context is a natural starting point.

Simple openers like “What brought you here today?” or “How are you connected to this event?” instantly create a bridge. From there, you can move into the basics—asking what someone does, where they went to school, or how they became involved in the topic at hand. It doesn’t take long to uncover people you know in common, whether separated by one degree or six. That realization alone is often enough to establish connection.

Build Relationships Not Transactions

At work, your “natural” network already exists—the colleagues you speak with regularly to get your job done. But true networking requires more than functional interactions. Instead of viewing these conversations as purely transactional, approach them as opportunities to build relationships.

Why does this matter?

  • You may learn something new.
  • You may identify ways to collaborate more closely in the future.
  • And perhaps most importantly, those colleagues may become advocates for you when you are not in the room.

This kind of relational networking creates allies, not just contacts.

Expand into Adjacent Circles

Beyond your immediate circle lies your “adjacent network”—people in roles that intersect with, but are not identical to, yours. Building these connections offers two benefits:

1. It creates opportunities for collaboration and innovation.

2. It expands your sphere of influence within the organization.

Networking across these adjacent circles ensures that you’re not siloed. It positions you as someone who sees beyond your lane and values cross-functional insight.

Seek Inspiration and Learning

Finally, there is the “outer ring” of networking: people who inspire you, challenge your thinking, or offer perspectives you want to learn from. These individuals may not be immediately accessible, but reaching out to them can be transformative. Over time, relationships that begin with admiration can evolve into mentorship—and, for some, sponsorship.

The Accidental Network

I often describe my own network as “accidental.” In reality, it was strategically built without me realizing it. I wasn’t focused on collecting contacts. Instead, I was focused on impact. Building connections allowed me to expand my influence, which in turn created greater impact. The cycle fed itself: impact → influence → more impact.

Looking back, what seemed like casual conversations were actually the foundation of a powerful
network.

From Anxiety to Excitement

Instead of approaching networking with dread, approach it with curiosity. Who might you meet? What might you learn? What connection might spark unexpectedly?

The truth is simple: we all bring something to the table. Networking isn’t about rehearsed elevator pitches or forced interactions. It’s about shared ground, genuine curiosity, and the relationships that form when we take the time to connect.

So the next time networking makes you anxious, reframe it. Get excited about the possibilities—because you never know where one conversation might take you.

 

By: Tracy Castle-Newman, Founder of TCN Advisors, empowering businesses and individuals to achieve their full potentional through consulting, coaching and public speaking engagements.  With 35 years in Financial Services, spending over 28 at Morgan Stanley, she has built and led businesses that drove revenue growth, operational efficiency, and strategic innovation. Recognizing that talent is your most valuable asset, Tracy dedicated much of her career mentoring and developing the next generation of leaders, with an intentional focus on women. She is known for building like-minded communities and built the most successful community for female portfolio managers on Wall Street.

Tracy also coaches with the Evolved People team (owner of the theglasshammer).  If you wish to work with her, speak with Nicki Gilmour here.

(Guest Contribution: The opinions and views of guest contributions are not necessarily those of theglasshammer.com)

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