Strength in Vulnerability: How Asking for Help Elevates Your Leadership

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asking for help leadershipAs today is Halloween, a time when we delight in confronting our fears, it’s worth reflecting on one fear that many leaders can find particularly daunting: asking for help. Much like navigating the eerie unknowns of a haunted house, the vulnerability tied to asking for help can be intimidating. The fear of appearing weak, of losing control, or of being judged can make the very thought of seeking assistance seem like an insurmountable challenge.

But just as Halloween encourages people to face their fears head-on, effective leadership requires confronting this deeply ingrained hesitation. Asking for help is not only necessary—it’s a powerful act of courage that enhances leadership by fostering trust, empowerment, and communication. The ability to embrace vulnerability does not make you less effective; in fact, it strengthens relationships, builds resilience, and opens opportunities for both personal and team growth. Leaders who embrace vulnerability by seeking support not only improve their own leadership effectiveness but also inspire others to do the same.

Why Is Asking for Help So Scary?

One of the main reasons asking for help is so difficult is that it requires vulnerability. Leaders are often expected to exude confidence and have all the answers, and admitting uncertainty can feel like stepping into the unknown—uncertain of what lies ahead. There is a deep-seated fear that showing vulnerability might erode credibility or cause others to question their capabilities. This fear is driven by societal expectations and an outdated view of leadership as a solo venture. However, in today’s collaborative work environments, leadership is about connecting, communicating, and being authentic. By confronting the fear of asking for help, you not only show that you are self-aware but also model the kind of openness and vulnerability that fosters a culture of trust and collaboration.

In fact, research shows that vulnerability is at the heart of effective leadership. In her book Dare to Lead, Brené Brown emphasizes that embracing vulnerability allows leaders to foster trust and deeper connections with their teams. Far from diminishing authority, showing vulnerability strengthens relationships and builds psychological safety.

The Value of Asking for Help

Facing the fear of vulnerability and seeking help has benefits for both leaders and their teams. By stepping into this space of openness, you create an environment where psychological safety can flourish. When people feel safe to express their thoughts, ask questions, and offer help without fear of judgment, creativity and innovation thrive. This sense of security begins with those who demonstrate that vulnerability is a strength, not a weakness.

  1. Modeling Vulnerability and Psychological Safety
    When you ask for help, you send a powerful message to your teams: it’s okay not to have all the answers. This willingness to be open and seek input creates a culture of psychological safety, where team members feel comfortable sharing their own challenges, offering ideas, and seeking support. Amy Edmondson, a professor at Harvard Business School, has shown that psychological safety—where people feel safe to take risks and ask for help—drives higher team performance, creativity, and innovation. Leaders who model vulnerability create a space where others can speak up, admit mistakes, and contribute their best ideas.
  2. Empowering the Team to Step Up
    Asking for help isn’t just about lightening your load—it empowers the team to take on greater responsibilities. When you seek input or delegate tasks, you give team members the chance to step up and showcase their strengths. Research has found that empowering leadership boosts creativity and job satisfaction, as individuals feel more valued and engaged when they are trusted to contribute in meaningful ways. By asking for help, you give your team the opportunity to shine.
  3. Building Trust and Strengthening Relationships
    Trust is the foundation of strong teams, and it’s built through openness and mutual support. When you ask for help, you build trust by showing that you value the input and expertise of others. Research shows that authentic leadership—where vulnerability and transparency are key traits—is directly linked to trust within teams. The act of asking for help signals to team members that their contributions are important, deepening trust and strengthening the overall bond within the team.
  4. Preventing Burnout
    Leaders often carry significant responsibilities, juggling multiple priorities and making decisions that impact both their teams and the organization. Attempting to shoulder these burdens alone can lead to exhaustion and burnout. Asking for help—whether by delegating tasks, seeking advice, or simply admitting that additional support is needed—can prevent this. Sharing the load allows you to focus on strategic initiatives without becoming overwhelmed by day-to-day demands.
Who Can Leaders Turn to for Help?

You may wonder where to turn when you decide to face the fear and ask for help. There are several options, each providing unique support and insights.

1. Your Team, Peers, Mentors

While the importance of turning to your team has already been emphasized, it’s worth reiterating just how impactful it can be. Seeking help from team members not only fosters collaboration but also creates opportunities for them to step into leadership roles themselves, reinforcing a culture of trust and shared responsibility.

Beyond the team, peers and coworkers offer a fresh perspective. They understand the internal dynamics of the organization and can provide insights that help break through roadblocks. Collaborating with peers strengthens networks and promotes a culture where leadership is shared, not siloed.

Mentors, on the other hand, provide a broader, more seasoned viewpoint. Their experience allows them to guide you through challenges they’ve likely faced themselves, offering personalized advice. Mentorship is rooted in trust and respect, giving you the confidence to explore new paths, tackle difficult decisions, and grow with the support of someone who’s been there before.

2. Executive Coaches

Sometimes, asking for help means seeking guidance beyond your immediate circle. Executive coaching offers leaders a personalized approach to growth, providing one-on-one support that can transform both leadership skills and personal development. Coaches help you ask the tough questions, explore vulnerabilities, and create customized plans for improvement. This tailored guidance accelerates growth and empowers you to make informed decisions, overcome obstacles, and advance more quickly.

By seeking help from a coach, you not only invest in your own development but also model the value of vulnerability and continuous learning for your team. It’s a proactive step toward long-term success. If you are ready to take that step, consider an exploratory coaching chat with Evolved People Coaching, the leadership coaching arm of theglasshammer.com. You can book that session here.

How to Make the Ask

Asking for help, while daunting, can be done thoughtfully and effectively. Here are a few strategies to make the ask easier:

  1. Be Clear and Use the SMART Approach: An acronym for specific, measurable, achievable, relevant and time-bound, being SMART when approaching someone for help lends clarity to the kind of support that is needed. Not only will the conversation be more productive, but having a framework for the ask can help alleviate any anxieties about imposing on someone’s time and attention.
  2. Frame It as Collaboration: Asking for help doesn’t need to feel one-sided. By framing the request as an opportunity for collaboration, you create a more balanced exchange. For example, instead of saying, “I don’t know how to do this,” try “I’d love to get your perspective on this challenge.”
  3. Show Gratitude: After asking for help, acknowledging the time and effort others put in is crucial. Expressing gratitude not only strengthens relationships but also encourages future collaboration.
  4. Be Open to Feedback: When asking for help, it’s important to remain open to different ideas and solutions. Embracing diverse perspectives can lead to more creative and effective outcomes.
Embracing Vulnerability for Stronger Leadership

Asking for help is a powerful leadership tool as stepping into vulnerability allows you to grow and strengthen your teams. By seeking support from coworkers, teams, mentors, and executive coaches, you can foster a culture of collaboration, trust, and mutual empowerment. Far from diminishing leadership, asking for help demonstrates the courage to evolve—both as a leader and as a person. By learning to embrace vulnerability, you build stronger connections, create more resilient teams, and lead with authenticity.

By Jessica Robaire

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The Key to Executive Presence: Emotional Intelligence

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leadership coachIn today’s complex business landscape, leadership is no longer just about making decisions or commanding authority. A vital component of successful leadership is executive presence—the ability to inspire confidence, project authority, and lead effectively. But at the core of executive presence lies a less tangible yet critical skill: emotional intelligence (EI). The ability to understand and manage emotions—both one’s own and those of others—plays a fundamental role in how leaders project gravitas, communicate, and connect with others.

In this article, we’ll explore why emotional intelligence is essential for executive presence and examine insights from prominent authors and researchers on the subject and share with you their work so that you can choose your own adventure on your own leadership development. If you are a leader who wants to work with one of theglasshammer.com’s executive or leadership coaches on this very topic of executive presence or gravitas- we have a range of professional coaches to choose from. Book here for an exploratory chat with Nicki our head coach and she can tell you more about pricing and who in the cadre would best suit your needs (and level).

What is Executive Presence?

Executive presence is often described as the combination of gravitas, communication skills, and appearance that enables a leader to command attention and influence others. Here are the academics and authors who have opined over the past twenty years on how to have executive presence and what it actually is since for many years, it was merely a thinly guised call for women to assimilate to legacy male behavior.

Sylvia Ann Hewlett, in her book “Executive Presence: The Missing Link Between Merit and Success,” defines executive presence as “the ability to project gravitas—confidence, poise under pressure, decisiveness; communication—speaking skills, assertiveness, and the ability to read an audience; and appearance.” While these elements are crucial, they are deeply influenced by a leader’s emotional intelligence.

Daniel Goleman, one of the foremost authorities on emotional intelligence, argues that leadership success is more about emotional intelligence than technical skills. In his seminal work, “Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ,” Goleman explains that emotionally intelligent leaders can manage their own emotions, navigate social complexities, and make better decisions. All of these skills are fundamental to projecting executive presence.

Goleman’s emotional intelligence framework comprises four domains and twelve competencies, which directly enhance executive presence:

  1. Self-awareness: The ability to recognize and understand your own emotions. Leaders who are self-aware can stay calm under pressure, a critical aspect of gravitas.
  2. Self-management: The ability to control or redirect disruptive emotions. This helps leaders project confidence and poise, even in challenging situations.
  3. Social awareness: Including the competencies of empathy and organizational awareness, it’s the ability to understand the emotions of others and reading the dynamics at play within groups. Empathy enhances communication and helps leaders build strong relationships.
  4. Relationship management: Proficiency in managing relationships and building networks. This is key to engaging stakeholders and influencing decisions.
Gravitas and Emotional Intelligence

Gravitas—the ability to command respect and inspire trust—is one of the most important elements of executive presence. However, true gravitas doesn’t come from being domineering or aloof. It comes from a place of self-assurance, empathy, and calmness, all of which are rooted in emotional intelligence.

Rebecca Newton, author of “Authentic Gravitas: Who Stands Out and Why,” highlights that authentic gravitas is about “the ability to lead and inspire others while remaining true to yourself.” This authenticity comes from emotional intelligence, particularly self-awareness and empathy. Leaders who are in tune with their emotions and those of others are better able to manage conflict, make thoughtful decisions, and create a sense of trust and stability—all hallmarks of gravitas. Theglasshammer.com endorses this source and is a book that is often recommended when we coach executives looking for some practical “how to” ideas as it doesn’t focus on superficial traits like power posturing or image management. Instead, Newton argues that true gravitas comes from within and is grounded in substance, credibility, and the ability to connect with others.

Key Themes:

  1. Gravitas Redefined: Newton redefines gravitas as the ability to be taken seriously, inspire trust, and influence others, not through dominance or authority, but through authenticity and meaningful contributions.
  2. Authenticity Over Image: The book emphasizes that authentic gravitas doesn’t come from mimicking traditional leadership traits or projecting a certain image. Instead, it is about being genuine, confident in your knowledge, and willing to listen and engage with others openly.
  3. Building Gravitas: The author outlines how leaders can develop gravitas by aligning their actions with their values, building emotional intelligence, and developing deeper expertise in their areas of focus.
  4. Connection and Credibility: Newton highlights that gravitas also involves the ability to build strong relationships and communicate effectively. Leaders with authentic gravitas engage with people at all levels, show empathy, and remain composed under pressure.
  5. Impact and Influence: True gravitas leads to lasting influence. Leaders who embody this trait inspire others, foster collaboration, and create environments where people are more willing to follow their guidance and vision.
Communication and Emotional Intelligence

Effective communication is another core pillar of executive presence. Leaders with strong emotional intelligence are better communicators because they can tailor their message to resonate with different audiences and navigate difficult conversations with ease.

Amy Cuddy, in her book “Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenges,” emphasizes that leaders who exhibit presence communicate in a way that makes others feel understood and valued. Emotional intelligence enhances a leader’s ability to read the room, adapt their communication style, and respond with empathy—critical skills for projecting authority and trustworthiness.

Emotional intelligence also helps leaders master nonverbal communication, a key aspect of executive presence. Research by Carol Kinsey Goman, author of “The Silent Language of Leaders,” shows that emotionally intelligent leaders use body language effectively to project confidence, openness, and authority. Goman argues that “leaders who are aware of the nonverbal cues they send and how they align with their words are perceived as more authentic and trustworthy.”

Empathy and Connection

While gravitas and communication help leaders project authority, empathy is what enables them to connect with others. Executive presence is not just about being seen as capable; it’s about making others feel heard, understood, and respected. This is where emotional intelligence truly shines.

Emotional Intelligence as the Foundation of Executive Presence

While executive presence is often associated with outward behaviors—how one speaks, dresses, or carries themselves—its true foundation lies in emotional intelligence. Leaders who possess high emotional intelligence can project gravitas, communicate effectively, and connect with others on a deeper level. They are self-aware, empathetic, and composed under pressure, all of which are essential traits for cultivating executive presence. By cultivating emotional intelligence, leaders can develop a more authentic, impactful executive presence that resonates with others and drives lasting success.

By Nicki Gilmour, executive leadership coach and founder and CEO of theglasshammer.com

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The Benefits of Executive and Team Coaching for an Improved Workplace Culture

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leadership coachWorkplace culture plays a critical role in an organization’s success. A positive culture can enhance employee satisfaction, improve productivity, and foster innovation. Executive and team coaching are powerful tools that can significantly contribute to cultivating an improved workplace culture.

Here’s a look at the benefits of executive and team coaching in transforming workplace culture:

1. Enhanced Leadership Effectiveness

Executive coaching focuses on developing leadership skills and enhancing the effectiveness of leaders within the organization. Benefits include:

  • Self-awareness: Coaches help leaders understand their strengths, weaknesses, and impact on others, fostering greater self-awareness.
  • Decision-making: Improved decision-making abilities through better understanding of different perspectives and critical thinking.
  • Emotional Intelligence: Enhanced emotional intelligence, leading to better management of emotions and relationships.

2. Stronger Team Cohesion

Team coaching fosters a sense of unity and collaboration among team members, leading to:

  •  Increased Trust: Building trust through open communication and shared experiences.
  • Aligned Goals: Ensuring all team members are working towards common objectives and understand their roles.
  • Collaboration: Encouraging collaborative problem-solving and leveraging diverse perspectives.

3. Improved Communication

Effective communication is essential for a healthy workplace culture. Coaching enhances communication skills at both the executive and team levels by:

  • Clarity: Ensuring clear and concise communication of goals, expectations, and feedback.
  • Active Listening: Teaching active listening skills to understand and address concerns and ideas.
  • Conflict Resolution: Providing strategies for resolving conflicts constructively and maintaining positive relationships.

4. Increased Employee Engagement

Engaged employees are more productive, motivated, and committed to their organization. Coaching contributes to employee engagement by:

  • Empowerment: Empowering employees to take ownership of their work and make meaningful contributions.
  • Recognition: Creating a culture of recognition and appreciation for achievements and efforts.
  • Personal Growth: Supporting personal and professional development, leading to greater job satisfaction.

5. Cultivation of a Growth Mindset

A growth mindset encourages continuous learning and improvement. Coaching fosters a growth mindset by:

  • Encouraging Innovation: Promoting a culture where experimentation and innovation are valued.
  • Learning from Mistakes: Viewing failures as opportunities for learning and growth.
  • Continuous Development: Emphasizing the importance of ongoing personal and professional development.

6. Enhanced Problem-Solving and Adaptability

In today’s dynamic business environment, the ability to adapt and solve problems is crucial. Coaching enhances these skills by:

  • Critical Thinking: Developing critical thinking skills to approach problems strategically.
  • Flexibility: Encouraging flexibility and openness to change.
  • Resilience: Building resilience to handle setbacks and challenges effectively.

7. Stronger Organizational Alignment

Coaching helps to align the efforts and goals of individuals, teams, and the organization as a whole. Benefits include:

  • Strategic Alignment: Ensuring that individual and team goals are aligned with organizational objectives.
  • Cultural Consistency: Promoting a consistent and cohesive workplace culture across all levels of the organization.
  • Unified Vision: Creating a shared vision and purpose that motivates and guides employees.

8. Enhanced Accountability

Accountability is crucial for achieving goals and maintaining a positive workplace culture. Coaching enhances accountability by:

  • Goal Setting: Helping individuals and teams set clear, achievable goals.
  • Progress Monitoring: Providing regular check-ins and feedback to track progress and make adjustments.
  • Responsibility: Encouraging a culture of responsibility and ownership for outcomes.

9. Increased Innovation and Creativity

A positive workplace culture that encourages innovation can drive organizational success. Coaching fosters innovation and creativity by:

  • Safe Environment: Creating a safe environment for sharing new ideas and taking risks.
  • Diverse Perspectives: Leveraging diverse perspectives to generate innovative solutions.
  • Encouragement: Encouraging creative thinking and challenging the status quo.

Executive and team coaching offer a multitude of benefits that can significantly improve workplace culture. By enhancing leadership effectiveness, fostering team cohesion, improving communication, increasing employee engagement, cultivating a growth mindset, enhancing problem-solving and adaptability, strengthening organizational alignment, boosting accountability, and promoting innovation and creativity, coaching transforms the workplace into a more positive, productive, and dynamic environment. Investing in coaching not only develops individual and team capabilities but also creates a thriving workplace culture that drives organizational success.

Theglasshammer.com offers six distinct offerings via evolved people coaching so if you need 1) leadership coaching, 2) career coaching 3) team coaching or 4) mentor coaching, 5) business coach or 6) consulting not coaching – organizational development work to help with overall culture, performance or change, please book into Nicki Gilmour’s calendar here (CEO and Founder) to begin to explore and discuss you or your company’s needs. We have a team of 5 coaches and several Ph.D.’s in Organizational Psychology/OD and other disciplines to work with you.

By Nicki Gilmour, CEO and Founder of theglasshammer.com

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What Does LGBTQ+ Pride Have to Do with Team Performance?

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leadership coachWhat do Pride month and LGBTQ+ matters have to do with career advice or workplace culture? A 2024 Gallup survey reports more than one in five of “Gen Z” people identify as LGBTQ+ in the workplace with an EY survey stating that 30% of the Generation Z workforce will identify as LGBTQ+ by 2030. As a leader or manager of your current and future workforce and talent pool, this reality requires your attention to ensure both your career and theirs are supported and successful.

Putting the kind welcoming human argument aside as we know by now humans vary in their traits, behaviors and beliefs, it is less subjective to put organizational performance as the reason to create a great culture at work for everyone. Whether it involves LGBTQ+ coworkers, professional women, or BIPOC/people of color, the leadership and organizational competency (and it is a competency) to create the best conditions for talent to thrive should be the core of diversity, equity, and inclusion work. And, diversity is not the final destination, not least because it exists already, and it is the legacy power dynamics that need to be examined. Consider the adoption of what Ely and Thomas coined as a learning and effectiveness paradigm first proposed in their 1996 HBR work, Making Difference Matter. Despite this being introduced nearly thirty years ago, they critically reminded us in 2020 that most companies have not progressed beyond the basic strategies of the 1990s, which primarily address foundational fairness and discrimination. In their article “Getting Serious About Diversity: Enough Already with the Business Case” (Harvard Business Review, November/December 2020) Ely and Thomas state:

“Having people from various identity groups “at the table” is no guarantee that anything will get better; in fact, research shows that things often get worse, because increasing diversity can increase tensions and conflict. Under the right organizational conditions, though, employees can turn cultural differences into assets for achieving team goals.”

Social/organizational psychologists such as myself will tell you that the studies over thirty years show that without understanding how to leverage differences and the conflict that comes with them, higher performance is not a guarantee. The antecedents for optimal team and organizational performance for the 30% of near future LGBTQ+ workers are much like the those of any current non-LGBTQ+ worker—psychological safety for the ability to be oneself. Conditions matter, and processes and systems have to incentivize behaviors that align with strategic talent goals to develop, promote and retain people.

Here are two strategies to successfully support LGBTQ+ talent…

Create Psychological Safety

Creating the right conditions is foundational. Coming out is still hard and still constant. Even in the best of welcoming familiar and societal conditions, there is always slight trepidation that being different won’t be received as well as being the same. There are an estimated 8-20 million of your colleagues in the US that are LGBTQ+ and of which 50% still mostly hide their identity to HR, but almost 80% are now willing to come out to one person with coming out to manager at a lower rate. At work, in a professional setting, everyone wants to show up to do their best and regardless of who you are, you have to feel psychologically safe to focus on the job at hand. When someone feels like they belong, it creates happier, and high performing employees who stay engaged.

Psychological safety refers to an individual’s perception of the consequences of taking interpersonal risks in a particular context, such as a workplace. For LGBTQ+ employees, this means feeling secure enough to express their identity without fear of negative repercussions. When employees feel psychologically safe, they are more likely to be engaged, innovative, and committed to their work. LGBTQ+ employees report a greater sense of belonging when working remotely versus in-person as they experience an increase in microaggressions when in the office. Furthermore, the UCLA William’s Institute research cites that two thirds of LGBTQ+ employees still witness slurs and pejorative talk with half of respondents experiencing discrimination. Workplace culture is societal culture as it is merely a way of saying “how do we do things around here”. Pride in the dictionary is the opposite of shame which is the flag that the wife of the US Supreme Court judge, Justice Alito wants to fly while he has publicly stated he wants to reverse gay marriage (69% of Americans are not polarized on this, supporting gay marriage). Laws matter, they influence culture as well as very real elements of LGBTQ+ peoples’ lives and careers. While partner preference if you are LGBTQ+ does not define the content of your character, judging others based on one’s own subjective beliefs, does.

Create Real Mentoring and Sponsorship Relationships

Programs and policies to support any initiative or business or organizational development goal are key but alone are not enough; climate, management practices and attitudes and mentoring and sponsorship play a crucial role. Building real relationships can bridge gaps and humanize people who are otherwise at risk of being stereotyped. For LGBTQ+ employees, having mentors and sponsors who understand and support them can make a significant difference in their career development and overall workplace experience. Policies should be implemented in a way that they are not just on paper but are actively endorsed and lived within the workplace culture. Theglasshammer now offers a coaching upskill program where mentors who want to coach their mentees in addition to giving advice and support can now acquire coaching skills for all types of mentees including specifically LGBTQ+, BIPOC and women mentees.

Creating an inclusive workplace culture is systemic work. It goes beyond unconscious bias training, since it is always good to examine one’s unconscious beliefs, but it is also shown that explicit beliefs cannot be changed this way. Continue to leverage employee resource groups and promote allyship as this can help foster a more inclusive environment. Allies, who engage in supportive and advocacy behaviors such as mentoring, sponsoring via advocating, and coaching can play a significant role in improving workplace outcomes for LGBTQ+ employees. Ultimately, fostering a supportive and inclusive workplace culture benefits everyone. Managers should use these insights to enhance organizational commitment to inclusivity, which, in turn, can lead to better job attitudes and performance for both LGBTQ+ and non-LGBTQ+ employees. It is instead a “yes, and” approach that requires modeling positive and inclusive behavior and actively engaging all employees incentivized by processes and systems around talent and meritocracy to provide support to their LGBTQ+ and all colleagues. By focusing on creating a culture of support and belonging, organizations can ensure that all employees can thrive and contribute to the organization’s success.

Be a human first and know that the LGBTQ+ community has a lot of different people in that acronym much like society at large, it consists of many people with varying degrees of ambition, talents and experiences. Most LGBTQ+ people just want to get on with life, work hard in their career, perhaps raise kids, walk their dog, see their families and occasionally enjoy a vacation. Be proud of who you are, we are all only here for an average of 4000 weeks and what do you want to do in that time?

Happy Summer from theglasshammer.com – We will be back later July after we take a vacation!

By Nicki Gilmour, Founder and CEO of theglasshammer.com

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Developing as a Leader – How to Use a Coach for Best Results!

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leadership coachCoaching can change your leadership abilities; it can literally make you a better version of yourself as an executive and a person- it can yield tangible results as well as provide support and a thought partnership. Getting a coach is also the fastest way to help you to advance because coaching offers a personalized and tailored approach to your leadership development. Unlike training programs, coaching focuses on each individual leaders’ unique strengths, challenges, and goals. Through one-on-one sessions, coaches help leaders identify areas for improvement and create actionable plans for growth that align with their specific leadership style and aspirations.

Are You Ready for a Coach?

Some leaders come to coaching with very specific goals or outcomes that they want to achieve. A good coach can help with furthering your objectives and goals by evoking your highest thinking around how to figure out the exact pathways to get there. Coaches can also help you to sanity check your goals, to help refine and define and sometimes tweak the goals. It can be daunting to specifically articulate your desired future state to work towards so gaining clarity in goal setting is very much part of the process as it is through deep conversations with a coach, executives can identify their strengths, values, and areas for growth. This clarity enables you to set ambitious, yet achievable career objectives aligned with your long-term vision. Previous articles here on theglasshammer.com have addressed transformative ways to improve your professional life and specifically coaching is recommended as the fastest, most effective way to not only grow, but get tangible results. Evidence based research shows that coaching female leaders still reaps massive benefits for the coachee and the organization at large; I believe coaching men in conjunction with organizational development of structures, systems and behaviors is the most effective way to ensure the effects of coaching women are amplified.

What Does Coaching Help all Executives and Leaders do Better Exactly?

1. Develop Self-Awareness and Emotional Intelligence:

Effective leadership begins with self-awareness and emotional intelligence. It has been claimed via research that women demonstrate more EQ naturally then men, but honestly, I believe everyone regardless of gender has a varying amount of self-regulation which is formed over their entire life experience and arguably yes some amount is intrinsic. Coaches work with leaders to deepen their understanding of their own emotions, behaviors, and impact on others and by enhancing self-awareness, leaders can better manage their emotions, build stronger relationships, and make more informed decisions.

It is obvious then that improved communication skills enable leaders to build trust, motivate others, and foster collaboration within their organizations. As leaders become more self-assured and adaptable, they can lead with greater personal conviction and inspire confidence in their teams. A very specific extra skill you should look for in a coach is the ability to help you clear any hidden competing commitments that are lurking in your subconscious preventing you from doing the actions you need to do to actually obtain your goals. It is removing any “immunity to change” that will make the more elusive goals that perhaps you have struggled with for a while, become reachable because we address our inner critic and pour cold water on paradigms that we have been holding for a long time on the “way it is”. Most of us have hidden fears, or even a sense of shame or lack of worthiness and this can be addressed with the right coach who knows how to use a mix of developmental and cognitive theory together to remove any constructs that cause psychological barriers to success. Leadership can be challenging, often requiring confidence to navigate uncertainties and setbacks.

2. Be Better at Strategic Thinking and Decision-Making

Coaching cultivates strategic thinking and decision-making skills among leaders. Coaches encourage leaders to think critically, analyze complex situations, and anticipate future challenges trends. Through guided reflection and exploration, leaders gain the ability to make well-informed decisions that drive individual, team, and ultimately organizational success. Navigating the systemic issues that belong to the company around ways of working is really fundamental. A coach with a background in organizational psychology can enable you to parse what is your development versus what belongs to the organization and the company’s own work for development can feel like a burden is lifted from you and you can focus on what is truly your own work to do.

3. Get Comfortable with your Leadership Style

Coaching encourages leaders to adopt empowering leadership styles that foster growth and development within their teams. Coaches assist leaders in delegating effectively, empowering team members, and nurturing talent. Flexing style is also a key component to being a leader and a coach can privately help any leader learn how to lead in various ways as most of us have a preferred style when it comes to communication, thinking, doing, and even learning. Leadership development through coaching promotes a mindset of continuous learning and adaptability. We know that female leaders walk a fine line in style, especially when gender issues are present (most companies!).  Sometimes it is a matter of flexing a communication style and other times it is truly about changing your entire lens on the world to move into a learner mindset and change the questions you ask.

Coaches encourage leaders to seek feedback, embrace new challenges, and embrace lifelong learning. This commitment to growth enables leaders to stay agile and responsive in dynamic business environments.

4. Have Deeper Alignment with Organizational Goals

Coaching is aligned with organizational goals and priorities. Coaches work collaboratively with leaders to ensure that their development efforts support the organization’s vision, values, and strategic objectives. By cultivating leadership skills that directly contribute to organizational success, coaching becomes an integral part of driving performance and achieving results. Team coaching is also an increasingly popular way to connect a senior management team to the culture, strategy and to what is happening in the trenches of their own teams and those of their peers. The “Five Dysfunctions of a Team” by Pat Lencioni is a great way to approach team performance challenges as it all starts with trust!

Coaching plays a vital role in developing a pipeline of future leaders within organizations. By investing in coaching for current leaders, organizations groom high-potential individuals for future leadership roles.

Get Started with Executive Coaching Today!

To embark on a transformative leadership journey, consider engaging with a professional coach like Nicki Gilmour, Founder of theglasshammer.com. With a background in social-organizational psychology and a team of experienced associates, Nicki offers tailored coaching programs designed to accelerate career growth and leadership development.

For a comprehensive coaching experience over 6 sessions spanning 12-18 months, book an exploratory session with Nicki or one of her endorsed coaches. Take the first step towards realizing your leadership potential and achieving unprecedented success in your career. Click here for a complimentary 1st mini session (30 minutes long chemistry and goal setting meeting). * Cost of 6 full sessions (a pack) is $2999 or 10 sessions for $4799 – sessions are 90 minutes long. Or bring us in to work with your team – we design and deliver offsites and programs! Check out testimonials on LinkedIn.

By Nicki Gilmour, Founder and CEO of theglasshammer.com

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Why the “E” in ESG Matters: Environmental Responsibility for Companies and Leaders

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Why the E in ESG Matters Environmental ResponsibilityWhile Earth Day serves as an annual reminder to appreciate our planet, the escalating effects of climate change highlight the importance of prioritizing environmental stewardship year-round. Corporations and businesses are increasingly focusing on integrating more innovative Environmental, Social, and Governance (ESG) criteria in their decision-making and investment strategies. While each component plays a vital role in sustainable business practices, the “E” in ESG is significant in driving a positive environmental impact while also creating long-term value for businesses.

Recent News in Business and Environmental Responsibility

According to the Morningstar report for the last quarter of 2023, “global sustainable funds experienced net outflows of USD 2.5 billion, marking the first time they entered negative territory. Despite the overall decline, European sustainable funds remained resilient and attracted USD 3.3 billion of net new money in Q4, primarily driven by passive funds. On the other hand, U.S. sustainable funds saw net outflows of USD 5 billion, contributing to a total of USD 13 billion outflows for the year.”

Interestingly, 2024 has already been a hotbed of progress and reversals with four leading banks announcing that they are leaving the Equator Principle formally due to Risk and Antitrust issues, but will continue to follow the tenets of the principle as a guide. Political backlash and special interests have cost BlackRock a self-disclosed revenue loss of $4 billion dollars with the recent example this past month whereby the Texas School Fund pulled away from Blackrock in support of Big Oil, stating Blackrock’s fund to be against state law which forbids boycotting fossil fuel.

While the volatility of the political landscape continues, there is no doubt that there are career opportunities forming from investment jobs to deeper compliance nuances for risk, legal, and compliance roles. The broader participation for ESG inside firms goes beyond the CTIO seat to every C-suite member with the consulting firms benchmarking and pitching to get companies ready for current and future legislation such as the ISSB standard IFRS S2. And the Global Stocktake is underway as countries plan for COP28 where they will assess the progress made toward mitigating global warming since the Paris Agreement in 2015. The results from the first-ever global stocktake will be discussed at COP28.

Navigating Environmental Challenges: Innovation, Trust, and Market Trends

Apple recently released a carbon neutral Apple Watch, the first in their lineup in working towards the ambitious goal of making every product carbon neutral by 2030. Technology and AI and startups in the space are driving innovation and fostering competitiveness. And it is innovation that can prevent or warn us of risks of climate change, including increased severe weather events, rising sea levels, and changes in temperature that can disrupt supply chains, cause infrastructure and property damage, and increase insurance costs, posing a significant threat to business operations and financial performance. The impact on the supply chain is long and deep with an example being that a 2022 drought in southwest China led to reduced hydropower production, cutting power to factories that supplied electronics and auto parts, and ultimately curtailed production for companies like Toyota, Volkswagen, and Foxconn.

As consumers and investors become more environmentally conscious, the value of brand reputation and stakeholder trust is particularly relevant. By showing a track record of environmentally responsible goals and outcomes, companies can gain the trust and buying power of consumers and investors. On the other hand, “greenwashing”, or making misleading claims about a company’s environmental impact, negatively impacts brand reputation and customer satisfaction. Showing a commitment to environmentally responsible practices is not only important for gaining consumer trust, but also in hiring and retaining employees. Like consumers, employees are interested in more than just paying lip service to “going green”, they also want to see tangible outcomes and be engaged in the process. Leaders can do more to address sustainability concerns transparently, building trust and credibility with stakeholders like consumers, employees, and investors.

The market is clued in to the mounting tide of support for environmentally responsible business practices, with investors and shareholders increasingly looking at companies’ environmental performance in considering their investment decisions. According to Morgan Stanley, more than half of individual investors say they plan to increase their allocations to sustainable investments in the next year, while more than 70% believe strong ESG practices can lead to higher returns. This shows that aligning with market expectations of environmental responsibility enhances companies’ attractiveness to investors and shareholders.

Wise Words from Top Women in ESG

Sustainability magazine named the Top 10 Women in ESG for 2023 who are worth checking out. The list of course is not exhaustive with so many great women having a role in the “E” in ESG, as it continues to play an important part in shaping corporate strategy, decision-making, and performance.

Ultimately change takes great negotiation skills and understanding. We recently profiled Susan Nickey, Executive Vice President and Chief Client Officer at HASI who astutely captures the nuance of the industry.

“When you’re trying to come up with a solution or break down a wall, it isn’t simply saying, ‘it needs to happen.’ You have to spend a lot of time thinking about creative solutions to make it work for an incumbent who might say ‘no, I don’t want that’, or ‘I’m not going to do that.’ It’s how you listen to both sides of an argument and come up with a creative solution. Thoughtfully parsed risk allocation, for example, can enable both parties to move forward in a way that they both deem is balanced and fair for them.”

The “E” in ESG is a fundamental aspect of corporate sustainability, responsible leadership, and long-term value creation. In the words of another of our recent profiles, Geneviève Piché, Head of Sustainable Finance and Advisory, Corporate Investment & Banking at Wells Fargo:

“Sustainability and climate efforts are about value creation. They are not check-the-box exercises. It’s about developing strategies that can drive value for companies while making the world a better place.”

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Op-Ed: NextUp for Women Board Members – What’s your Plus One?

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NextUp Women BoardI recently attended a breakfast for 150+ women board directors hosted by Julie Daum, leader of Spencer Stuart’s North American board practice, to listen to the findings from their 2023 S&P 500 New Director and Diversity Snapshot. The findings and discussion that followed were energizing and sobering. Some specific findings that struck me were the progress of women directors in the S&P 500 over the past decade. Almost half–45% percent–of the class of 2023 were women, a 92% increase over the past decade. Women now account for 33% of S&P 500 directors, an 83% increase from a decade ago. An astounding 67% of the 2023 class identified as diverse candidates. Once the audience stopped high fiving one another, Spencer Stuart went on to outline some more sobering trends.

Among the top ten priorities for board selection, gender diversity dropped from top to #8. Hiring candidates with proven enterprise operating experience now topped the list. And there are significantly more males than female with proven enterprise operating experience. If boards are prioritizing traditional skills and capabilities – the pool of women candidates is now smaller. Will all the progress advancing women into board positions now decline?

Maybe not. First, remember that there are exponentially more opportunities for directors beyond the S&P 500. Hundreds more. And if we add private equity boards and startup companies, these opportunities are in the thousands. While competing for board positions will always be competitive, if you broaden your pool and extend your network beyond a traditional set then you might find some interesting opportunities.

I have had the privilege of serving as an independent director on two private equity boards owned by companies, Altamont Capital Partners, and The Riverside Company. I currently serve on a public company board, Cantaloupe, Inc. (NASDAQ: CTLP), and I am a non-voting board member of NextUp where I serve as chief executive officer. NextUp is the premier nonprofit member association firmly focused on developing the pipeline of future women leaders. Women reach out to me to find out how I was able to land these directorships. And as a woman whose day job is helping women advance in business, I am more than happy to offer a few words of advice.

First, think about how your specific skills might give you an enormous competitive advantage. Define your advantage as your “Plus One.” I landed my first board position on a private equity (PE) board looking for a woman + Olympic licensing experience (that is a pretty short list!). But this company was the leader in design and manufacture of gymnastic apparel. What is your Plus One? If it is Artificial Intelligence, your phone will be ringing off the hook! How about experience in direct marketing or membership? I am going to bet that pharmaceutical companies engaged in serving millions of consumers purchasing weight loss drugs are going to be looking for women with a Plus One in CRM.

Which brings me to my second most important piece of advice.

As a board member, your job is to “govern” not to “do.” The quickest way to derail a healthy board discussion is from the rookie who thinks they are on the board to do the job of the management team. They are not. The exception is your role on the board committee. Your finance or accounting degree is going to look attractive to a board looking for someone to serve on Audit. Your HR background will make you a stellar match for Compensation. But, as an independent director, you are there to advise, support and evaluate. Conversely, if rolling up your sleeves and diving in is your gig, then a private equity opportunity may be the right match for you. PE boards prioritize subject matter expertise and are willing to take a risk on those with broad experience, but with a more junior title. They value seasoned pros who lean in on projects. Or have an unbelievable rolodex to help the company. Making a personal investment might be a way to further underline your commitment to the board.

Finally, board positions—private and public—are rare. There are a number of other opportunities where you can gain experience, satisfaction, financial reward and valuable experiences. Right now, as CEO of NextUp, I am fulfilling one of the most satisfying career goals by developing thousands of the next generation of women business leaders. For two-plus decades, NextUp has been partnering with corporations to provide opportunities that build capabilities for the next generation of leaders. And I am certain that more than a few of these will end up in the boardroom.

By: Lisa Baird is the CEO and board member of NextUp, the nonprofit that advances all women in business, and serves on the Board of Directors for Cantaloupe, Inc., a digital payments and software services company that provides end-to-end technology solutions for self-service commerce, and which is recognized as a “Champion of Board Diversity” by the Forum of Executive Women for three years in a row. Cantaloupe is proud to have 44 percent of its Board women. Lisa previously served on the boards of Elite Sportswear and Fox Racing, now a subsidiary of Revelyst.

(Guest Contribution: The opinions and views of guest contributions are not necessarily those of theglasshammer.com).

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The Impact of Emotional Labor on Women Managers

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emotional laborEmotional labor, although not intended to be a gendered term, has significant implications for female managers. In the workplace, women often find themselves disproportionately burdened with unrecognized tasks, like planning office events, or ensuring Bob from marketing isn’t upset with procedural changes.

It might be even more jarring to feel expected to mask your real personality traits to fit in with the men by being the right kind of female manager, according to the false generalized stereotype of all women being compassionate, as this also is emotional labor to mask.

These efforts are expected from women in the workplace because they are stereotypically seen as more nurturing and empathetic. However, the same expectations aren’t placed on their male counterparts. Let’s find out why — and how you, as a manager who happens to be a woman, can use emotional labor to your benefit.

What Is Emotional Labor in the Workplace?

Emotional labor consists of the intangible, mental hoops people go through to ensure smooth operations and relationship maintenance, and often requires managing your emotions. This can happen in the workplace or, most recently recognized, in the home.

To cater to the needs of others, women often have to mask their own emotions. This can be cumbersome when working in leadership. If a home environment that requires much of the same is added to the mix, it can be even more taxing. Emotional labor in the workplace should be distinguished from simply exhibiting emotional intelligence. Of course, you need a certain level of emotional intelligence, or knowledge of how to manage and interpret emotions, to be successful in the workplace. The labor aspect is where you can find yourself masking your true emotions or experiencing burnout from too much emotional involvement at work.

Emotional labor is often devalued in and outside of the workplace. Productive work, like creating goods and services, is rewarded for its tangible results. However, ideal work environments are also ripe with mental and emotional care.

Surface Acting and Deep Acting

Emotional labor can consist of surface acting and deep acting. Surface acting involves the emotional laborer putting on a fake show of emotions to keep things running smoothly at work and fit in with norms. This is often exhibited by female leaders who are expected to not act “bossy,” “overbearing,” or “too emotional.” Deep acting exists when the laborer tries to, and often successfully does, change their true emotions to match what is expected of them. This way, emotional displays are more characteristic of what they are really feeling and, therefore, less emotionally and mentally draining.

While managing emotional displays is a crucial part of success in the workplace and interpersonal relationships, it can be problematic if taken to the extreme. Women in leadership also find themselves having to manage the emotions of others at work, such as mediating a dispute between colleagues or talking down angry customers. Traditionally, leadership roles don’t include this type of work, as it is delegated to those in lower positions. This sequestering of emotional labor can be traced back to patriarchal structuring.

This still seeps into how women are treated in the workplace, today. However, female leaders can take control of the narrative.

Reclaiming Control Over Emotional Labor

The inherent ability of women to not only enact emotional labor but do it exceedingly well is a desirable trait. Although this need is typically unspoken, many organizations could benefit from an open and honest conversation about how emotional labor is required to make their company tick.

Even if you are reluctant to lead, you may be more suited for a leadership role than you think. It’s within the realm of possibility to teach your team why emotional labor needs to be valued and recognized. You can point out flaws in gendered assumptions, and help higher-ups and colleagues focus on your strengths and achievements. It’s important to also set boundaries around emotional labor so that you aren’t expected to take on every burden. Learn to prioritize yourself and delegate emotion-laden tasks, and your leadership skills will flourish.

There are strategies women can employ to assert themselves effectively without shouldering unnecessary emotional burdens.

  • Establish Boundaries: One of the most crucial steps in asserting oneself at work is setting clear boundaries. This means delineating what is and isn’t acceptable in terms of workload, communication, and emotional involvement. Communicate these boundaries assertively but respectfully, ensuring that colleagues understand your limits without feeling personally attacked.
  • Communicate Directly: Direct communication is key to assertiveness. Instead of resorting to passive-aggressive behavior or expecting others to infer your needs, express yourself clearly and directly. Whether it’s negotiating for a raise, delegating tasks, or addressing conflict, approach conversations with confidence and clarity.
  • Use “I” Statements: When expressing needs or concerns, frame them using “I” statements to assert ownership of your thoughts and feelings. For example, instead of saying, “You always overload me with tasks,” say, “I feel overwhelmed when I’m assigned too many tasks simultaneously.” This approach fosters open communication while avoiding blame and defensiveness.
  • Practice Self-Advocacy: Advocating for oneself is an essential aspect of assertiveness. Take credit for your achievements, express your career goals, and actively seek out opportunities for advancement. Don’t wait for recognition to come to you; assertively showcase your skills and contributions.
  • Cultivate Assertive Body Language: Nonverbal cues play a significant role in communication. Maintain good posture, make eye contact, and use confident gestures to convey assertiveness. By adopting a poised and assertive demeanor, you can command respect and influence in professional settings.
  • Seek Support: Building a support network of allies, mentors, or professional groups can provide invaluable encouragement and guidance. Surround yourself with individuals who value your assertiveness and can offer constructive feedback and perspective when needed.
Resonating With Your Team

Along with your qualifications, your ability to be a present, concerned, clear, and genuine leader is a clear advantage. Educate your team when possible about what it means to be a woman in leadership and how they can support the emotional labor you are doing behind the scenes. Empathetic leadership can foster a more balanced workforce, allowing you to focus on your strengths and advocate for change.

Effective leaders are well-versed in emotion management, which can help you get team buy-in when it matters most. You can use your emotions to share your vision and emphasize the importance of teamwork on the project. A supportive environment will be worth the work once your team starts managing their emotions effectively and working toward a common goal.

Moving Forward

Recognize and advocate for the emotional labor you do as a woman in leadership. Some of your colleagues or higher-ups may be reluctant to accept that this is a large part of how businesses treat female leaders. However, pushing for a more inclusive environment can help women in the workplace everywhere. Plus, you’ll feel better knowing that you don’t have to suffer in silence any longer. You can use your emotional labor skills for good, paving the way for a more equitable and supportive work environment.

By: Indiana Lee is a passionate writer from the Pacific Northwest, specializing in business operations, leadership, and marketing. Connect with her on LinkedIn.

(Guest Contribution: The opinions and views of guest contributions are not necessarily those of theglasshammer.com).

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Forget the Glass Ceiling, Women Stumble on the “Broken Rung”

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Women Broken RungA study was just released by McKinsey & Co, in collaboration with Lean In, the nonprofit founded by former Meta COO Sheryl Sandberg, and it turns the idea that women only need to shatter the glass ceiling in order to find equity at the top on its head. It found that women face their most formidable challenge not at the top, but when attempting to transition into managerial roles. For every hundred men who are promoted from entry-level to managerial positions, only ninety-one white women make the first step. This powerful disparity is even more pronounced for women of color, with only eighty-nine Asian women, and fifty-four Black women being promoted for every hundred men. The study names this barrier in women’s careers “The Broken Rung”, and it is a major hurdle for women trying to climb the corporate ladder.

The study is not breaking new ground but is a reminder that women are not responsible for the broken rung. They are not failing to seek promotions or leaving their careers more often than men. Instead, systemic biases and workplace dynamics are the root cause. The second key point underscores that women who have similar track records and work experiences relative to their male peers are judged by a different standard. Women often receive promotions based on their past achievements, while men are promoted based on their perceived future potential. The impact of this inequitable orientation has a huge effect on women early in their careers. As the study states without equivocation, until the broken rung is fixed, gender parity will remain out of reach.

While the study does an excellent job of identifying what the broken rung is and why it happens, it falls short when making suggestions for remedies. What do we do to solve this problem? It suggests companies must track inputs and outcomes, de-bias performance reviews and promotions and establish clear evaluation criteria. While these are important, they are the absolute bare minimum.

Below are three things women can do right now to build an unbreakable first rung.

  1. Ask questions
    If you are passed over for a promotion, take steps to ensure that it doesn’t happen again. The first thing to do would be to ask the following question, “I thought Chad and I were similarly situated in terms of our accomplishments. What can I do differently that he is currently doing to make sure that next time I’m able to take the next step in my career?” Often people do not know that their implicit bias is getting in the way of their decision-making process. By having a lengthy conversation about it, this will help the other person not only give you tips on what to do differently but also, in the best-case scenario, self-reflect on what happened. Going in guns blazing can cause people to be defensive, but asking a question is one of the more effective ways of getting people to look more deeply and can be very powerful.
  2. Brag Tactically
    Women are taught not to brag. Men don’t seem to have as hard of a time bragging. To back up this point, visualize Thanksgiving dinners. Often women will do most of the cooking, and then when everyone sits down to eat Uncle Bob proudly announces that he cooked the beans! Men don’t have it wrong. In fact, women should not be afraid to take a page from their book. If you’re uncomfortable bragging, use The Brag Sandwich by bookending your brag with thanks and gratitude. For example, don’t say, “I closed that deal and the company made $2 million. It’s really great!” Instead use the Brag Sandwich and say, “I’m so thankful I was able to work on this project. I closed the deal and the company made $2 million. It’s really great! It was a lot of hard work, but I’m so happy I had the opportunity.” The brag sandwich is easier to say for many, but still gets the point across about your accomplishments.
  3. Turn around
    If you were able to somehow jump over the broken rung, make sure you reach down and pull other women up with you. Given how difficult it is for women, it’s easy to get exhausted. How can you focus on other women when you’re fighting a daily batter yourself? Unfortunately, this is exactly why many women don’t advocate for the women coming up behind them. The flipside of this, however, is that there is safety and numbers. The more women who rise the more we can support each other as we create spaces that are welcoming for all.

The broken rung is not new, but the attention it’s getting is. This is the moment for women to capitalize on this new awareness and push for systematic change. The more women who get past the first rung, the more women can occupy all rungs – and that is how we shatter the glass ceiling.

By: Eliza VanCort, Transformation Teacher and #1 bestselling author of A Woman’s Guide to Claiming Space: Stand Tall. Raise Your Voice. Be Heard (named Maria Shriver’s book of the week), who has dedicated her life to empowering women to live bravely and claim the space they deserve.

(Guest Contribution: The opinions and views of guest contributions are not necessarily those of theglasshammer.com)

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