Women, Get Promoted in 2020

, ,

Get PromotedIf your goal is to get promoted in 2020, then you might consider doing an inventory of your relationships. Figuring out who your advocates or sponsors are is a good start. Then think about how you deploy them as true sponsors, so that you can secure and be rewarded for some high profile assignments. This, if you can get a great sponsor and are willing to make them look good is still a very effective career strategy.

My favorite academic Hermina Ibarra discusses the spectrum of mentor to sponsor or advocate in HBR in a way that really demonstrates that it is ok to have a mentor but to not be surprised when they are just an advice giver as opposed to an opportunity giver or “cash their chips on your behalf” person for you.

Sponsorship, almost ten years old as a named concept

We first started writing about sponsorship when the term was coined by Sylvia Ann Hewlett in 2011 when she wrote with Amex about the benefits of the relationship for female executives looking to succeed at work. We continued to write about through the early teens of this past decade as people struggled with the differentiation of mentors versus sponsors. The conclusion that Ibarra makes and I agree with as an organizational coach, is that most formal sponsorship programs haven’t delivered and in some cases have been scrapped altogether. As she states in her article,

“Typically, they abandon sponsorship because experience has shown them that while you can ask senior executives to provide advice and support to high-potential women, you cannot mandate that they spend their personal capital advocating for people they don’t know well or may not be bullish about.”

So, what can you do? Figure out who is who in your network using Ibarra’s sliding scale of mentor, strategizer, connector, opportunity giver and advocate. Once you know where you stand, you can start to know what your ask is!

Know the talent processes

Secondly, I am often surprised when as a coach, someone tells me they want to be promoted but yet have not investigated the formal talent processes at their firm. It is important to know what you have to do to be in the running as sometimes there is formal nomination and that can form the very basis for the plan that will take you to the next level. You can tell HR or your boss that you are interested in a long-term future there at your firm and therefore would like to know what you need to do to be considered for promotion. You can even request a specific timeline as the worst that can happen is that you tell you nothing, which is information in itself. Observe what behaviors and who gets rewarded at work as these are cultural norms that play a part in subjective talent processes in firms that are looser on their formal processes.

You can then focus your networking, and your work projects. When you are doing stretch assignments that matter, find ways to make sure others know as that is better than working yourself to the bone and expecting the reward on sheer volume of work alone.  Start having the right conversations with the right people, and if this sounds political then know that is how life implicitly works as men have meetings outside meetings all the time in the bathroom, bar, ballgame and the hallway. I sit in cafes a lot with my laptop and I hear men gossip about work even more than women do and they never say that other men are not competent, yet I hear women colleagues being undermined over coffee by women and men, sadly most days. The double bind of how you are darned if you do and darned if you don’t!

Other things to do in 2020 to get promoted

Thirdly in 2020, read the book by long-time collaborator and friend of theglasshammer Sara Canaday called “You, according to Them” that will help you understand that how you are perceived is just as important as who you actually are.

Lastly, to get promoted one of the best strategies is to get a coach. The FT just reported it’s the biggest thing so far in 2020 for career success and empirical evidence suggests randomized control tests showed that 85 per cent of coachees were better off than those in the control group,  not just in their own view, but also in the opinion of their line managers.

Hermina Ibarra’s latest work espouses coaching style for managers as the future. I believe her.

We walk the talk so call us for a complimentary chat about whether a coach can help you get what you want in 2020. Email nicki@theglasshammer.com as we have real life success stories for the past seven years of coaching VP, SVP, Managing Director and C-level women in the financial, professional and technology industries. Put coaching in the email subject line.

/by

Beyond Networking: The Importance of Nurturing An Inner Circle of Women

Beyond NetworkingNot all “networking” is the same, and maybe the word itself needs attuning.

The more your network reflects an inner circle of women, the more effective it may be in supporting your growth and advancement. But even beyond networking, having women in your inner circle matters.

In the Harvard Business Review, Brian Uzzi, Professor of Leadership and Organizational Change at Northwestern’s Kellogg School of Management, writes about his research collaboration into what kinds of networks helped new men MBAs and women MBAs secure executive leadership positions.

For male MBAS, centrality is what mattered – not how big the network is, but being central within it or connected to multiple “hubs”- lots of contacts across different groups. The top quarter of central men obtained jobs that were 1.5 times higher in pay and authority than the bottom quarter.

Centrality also mattered for women, but the women that landed the executive roles with highest levels of authority and pay also had an inner circle of close female contacts in particular. The gender composition of men’s inner circle did not factor into success of MBA graduate placement.

“Women who were in the top quartile of centrality and had a female-dominated inner circle of 1-3 women landed leadership positions that were 2.5 times higher in authority and pay than those of their female peers lacking this combination,” Uzzi writes. “While women who had networks that most resembled those of successful men (i.e., centrality but no female inner circle) placed into leadership positions that were among the lowest in authority and pay.”

Insider Insight Goes Beyond Market Information

The researchers speculate that the inner circle of women is highly likely to provide insight into navigating the unique challenges that women face and to be a permissive space for asking questions outside of an official interview context.

“…because women seeking positions of executive leadership often face cultural and political hurdles that men typically do not,” Uzzi speculates, “they benefit from an inner circle of close female contacts that can share private information about things like an organization’s attitudes toward female leaders, which helps strengthen women’s job search, interviewing, and negotiation strategies.”

The most successful inner circles for women included women who were closely connected to one another but had fewest contacts in common, so as to each have a wider access to insight from more women.

Forget Networking. Nurture Real Connections.

If what likely matters in the inner circle of women is actually collaborating to support and lift each other, then it’s about building relationships you want to be in.

“I always say a woman alone has power; collectively we have impact,” writes Shelly Zalis, in Forbes, Founder and CEO of The Female Quotient. “Traditionally we have been taught to be competitive with one another, because there was such a scarcity of jobs at the top. It’s so clear that strategy doesn’t work.”

Zalis recommends to cultivate an inner circle of women by reframing networking so it’s not “work”: “When you create connections based on shared interests and goals, you’ll be more successful at your job, because people want to work with people they know and like.”

“My advice to women is to reframe what networking is,” says Gail Tifford, Chief Brand Officer of WW. “The fact alone that the word has “work” in it creates pressure for women to feel like it’s something they have to do, and then I see women stress about how to do it.  Simply putting yourself in environments that give you the opportunity to meet with peers and get to know each other and share experiences can be a game changer. And chances are, if you make meaningful connections, they are ones that will last a lifetime.”

Relating is not something you “do”. It’s something you and others invest your time and energy in because it’s mutually enriching. Putting yourself into a space where you are sharing with women from diverse relevant backgrounds can magnify your shared sense of belonging and your opportunities.

“Networking is one and done…” writes Zalis.”A relationship, on the other hand, touches your heart and creates an everlasting partnership. To keep connections alive, they must be nurtured.”

Raise Each Other Up

Shedding a mindset of scarcity and competitiveness between women around opportunities also means a willingness to raise other women up, including according to Julie Koepsell, Managing Director of Fellow, creating opportunities for other women to shine, helping to remove obstacles to success, encouraging them, finding out what’s important to other women so you can support them, and leading with example.

“At first it may seem like you’re taking attention away from yourself,” says Rebecca Wiser in the Forbes article, cofounder and director of communications at Womaze, a self-empowerment app for women, “but you’re actually showing that you’re a supportive team player as well as an inspiring leader—and secure enough in yourself to praise others.”

Real leadership does not mean standing alone in the spotlight, or hoarding ownership of the light, but rather a willingness to witness it in others and collectively rise together. It means supporting others in lighting up so that we all shine more.

Perhaps it’s the “net” in networking that needs more emphasis, a circle of women helps to support, hold, lift and create something that catches more opportunities for all.

Extend Your Circle Outside Your Comfort Zone

As evidenced in the research study, diversification of even your inner circle matters when it comes to supporting each other into better opportunities. As Uzzi writes, “The more you associate with similar-minded or experienced people, the less likely you will be to diversify your network and inner circle.”

It takes some to bust out of gravitating towards those who already feel “like us”. Expanding the power of your tribe means expanding your willingness to connect beyond your comfort zone.

Two ways to do this is first of all, be willing to allow “random selection” to comprise your inner circle – Uzzi found that random grouping “raised the odds that female students will befriend those with experience and goals beyond their own, again expanding their knowledge and contacts in career-enhancing ways.”

Secondly, check into how closed your circle is. If the connections of the circle are too interconnected, then it may not be as expansive for each of you. Uzzi provides the examples of workplace or industry affinity groups.

Diversifying your circle creates circles rippling outward, and that shape reaches out to new opportunities and experiences.

Authors Bio: Aimee Hansen is a freelance writer, frequent contributor to theglasshammer and Creator and Facilitator of Storyteller Within Retreats, Lonely Planet recommended women’s circle retreats focused on self-exploration and connecting with your inner truth and sacred expression through writing, yoga, meditation, movement and ceremonies.

/by

Managing your Emotions at Work for Maximum Productivity

,
You take a coffee or healthy snack, start a friendly conversation with a colleague, listen to your favorite music, watch some funny YouTube stuff (but don’t go overboard), visit your favorite site, rearrange or make up your working place, make a list of places to visit or movies to watch.

Emotions at workThese are great mood busters that will help you in critical situations. When the initial fire is coped, you need to sit down and analyze the case, identify the source of distress, and how you can overcome it.

Sometimes it is hard to keep up a good performance at the workplace. The burden of responsibilities, tight deadlines, a never satisfied boss, unfriendly customers, and co-workers, can turn your work into hell. Everyone may face similar situations, but not everyone knows how to avoid negative emotions.

The ability to control your feelings is no less important than well-honed professional skills. Negative feelings like frustration, anxiety, anger or distress may undermine your reputation, hinder working productivity or even lead to burnout. Nonetheless, there is a solution of how to deal with emotions to maximize productivity.

Below, you will find four elements to consider that will help you deal with your emotions and maximize your productivity:
Self Control

Research and surveys have shown that negative emotions are quite common in the workplace. The pressure of constant duties gradually degrades our mental and physical stability, which may result in a lack of emotional control. Eventually, problems may demotivate or strike the working efficiency, and people give up to negative emotions.

The majority of people are used to suppressing their feelings, but psychologists suggest that the better option is to learn to control your emotions. Constant restrain or denial of emotional issues does not solve the initial problem, and when negative emotions gradually pile up, it may eventually lead to a nervous breakdown or burnout.

So, how do you stop negative emotions at the initial stage? The most common way is to pause if you feel that negative emotions or frustration overwhelms you. It’s great if you have the possibility to take a short break and evaluate the situation from different perspectives.

Try to realize the primary cause that has put you out of balance. For example, if a client or your boss is late to the meeting, the worst option is getting annoyed. Instead, it is better to accept the situation and use this time for relaxation, to get a jump on the next task or answer a quick email.

Emotions Are Necessary For Work

Of course, we are not robots. It’s human nature to experience emotions. In some cases, feelings are necessary for work. Empathy, positivity, and politeness are highly important in the workplace, especially in the service field. However, while positive emotions are preferable, negative feelings should be put aside.. Excess emotionality may cause misunderstandings and problems even in simple situations. For example, aggression is a surefire way to lose customers and ruin a company’s reputation. Employees that directly communicate with customers create the overall impression of the organization. Besides, negative emotions may worsen the atmosphere in the team and demotivate your colleagues. The workplace is an interconnected ecosystem, where the emotional sustainability and welfare of each employee depend on everyone.

Short Pause

Sometimes it is hard to preserve a healthy working atmosphere, especially when people don’t know how to effectively cope with their emotions. Some choose to withdraw from social activity and limit communication, while others prefer to take the anger out on colleagues which is a self-destructive way, as it damages social connections and team unity. The good news is that there are plenty of positive methods that you can use to control your emotions. In this respect, relaxation and distraction are the best friends of each overwhelmed worker. Sometimes you need a short pause. Distract yourself from your task for a moment to gain perspective. Or take a longer break as today more and more companies offer wellness activities and understand the importance of mental and physical health.

Find A Golden Mean

The next step is to learn how to prevent negative emotions. Avoid any sources of anxiety. For example, organize your time to do all tasks on time and stop the rush. Set achievable goals to bypass frustration. It is also necessary to improve your mindset. Be respectful and courteous to your colleagues and clients. Treat every person as you’d treat yourself, or better still how you would like to be treated, and you will avoid accumulation of negativity right on the spot. Finally, it is essential to find a balance between those things that you enjoy, and those that take you out of the comfort zone. It’s necessary for your self-development and performance.

All of us face bad days and black lines: high working load, miscommunication, or personal issues. But we shouldn’t allow them to control our social and professional life. Of course, emotions make us human beings, but we need to use them wisely so that they do not destroy our lives. Try to avoid focusing on negative feelings and prevent excessive expression. Relax when you need it, analyze the problematic situation, listen to other people, and find a golden mean of your working performance. That will definitely help in both dealing with negative emotions and maximizing your productivity.

About the Author

Matthew Finnighan is a professional content writer. He writes for various blogs about higher education, entertainment, and social media. He aims to supply quality and unique content on the basis of human need. He is happy to share experience in writing, education, and self-development in his publications. If you are interested in his writing, you can find Matthew on Twitter or Facebook.

The opinions and views expressed by guest contributors are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of theglasshammer.com

/by

Emotional Intelligence – Part 2: Do Women Have Higher Emotional Intelligence than Men?

By Aimee Hansen

Emotional IntelligenceLast week, we wrote about Emotional Intelligence as a true leadership differentiator beyond IQ or “hard skill” levels or task mastery, and a prerequisite for real leadership belonging at the C-Suite level.

As Daniel Goleman, Ph. D, author of the New York Times bestseller Emotional Intelligence among other publications, highlights: “Members of a successful corporate team must, collectively, have a high level of emotional intelligence. On a team with high EI attributes, it is easy to spot those few who do not…”

But according to research, it would seem that women are significantly more likely to be amongst those who do.

Women Demonstrate More EI Competency More Consistently

Whether women have higher emotional intelligence than men has been a topic for debate by Goleman and others, though a Korn Ferry study of 55,000 professionals across 90 countries found that “women score higher than men on nearly all (11 of 12) emotional intelligence competencies, except emotional self-control, where no gender differences are observed.”

The authors, including Goleman, “found that women more effectively employ the emotional and social competencies correlated with effective leadership and management than men.”

According to the Korn Ferry results, women were 86% more likely than men to be seen as consistently demonstrating emotional self-awareness as a competency (18.4% of women compared to just 9.9% of men). Women were 45% more likely than men to be seen as demonstrating empathy consistently.

Women also outperformed men at “coaching & mentoring, influence, inspirational leadership, conflict management, organizational awareness, adaptability, teamwork and achievement orientation.” The most narrow margin was “positive outlook” (9% more likely), and the only gender neutral competency was “emotional self-control.”

When it comes to excelling at what we value, these findings complement research that shows that men are more likely to undervalue the relationship interaction with customers and clients, which women will tend to emphasize as important.

Closing the Gender Gap of Competency Perception

Generally speaking in the workplace, women tend to undervalue their skills competency and performance while men overvalue themselves on both.

These perceptual differences, reflected in the cultural mirror, can mean women preemptively take themselves out of the game. In one Hewlett Packard report, men went for the job if they were 60% qualified based on job criteria whereas women went for the job only if they were 100% qualified.

Zenger Folkman found that women’s confidence increases with age and experience so that by our mid-40’s, we’ve closed the gender confidence gap to meet men. But it’s the leaps we may have forgone in our 20’s and 30’s, when the gap was prevalent, that still factor in as lost opportunities.

Dr Richard E. Boyatzis, Distinguished University Professor, CWRU, spoke to women undervaluing, and men overvaluing, their competencies in the workplace: “Research shows, however, that the reality is often the opposite. If more men acted like women in employing their emotional and social competencies, they would be substantially and distinctly more effective in their work.”

“The data suggests a strong need for more women in the workforce to take on leadership roles,” said Goleman. “When you factor in the correlation between high emotional intelligence and those leaders who deliver better business results, there is a strong case for gender equity. Organizations must find ways to identify women who score highly on these competencies and empower them.”

Emotional intelligence is considered a key differentiator at the top leadership level, and it’s a competency asset women can deeply value even as we develop it.

How do you further develop your “EQ”?

According to a Forbe’s Coaches Council article from Cari Coats, there are four main attributes that can be recognized in emotionally intelligent leaders, paraphrased below.

Self-awareness of your own internal motivations and tendencies and emotions and both understanding and acceptance of “the good, the bad, and the ugly”. Emotionally intelligent leaders can take feedback without defensiveness. One practice that can help is to become aware of how you respond when challenged or when things don’t go well.

Transparency both in your own vulnerabilities and flaws and mistakes as well as in speaking with truth and clarity with others. As Dickson writes, “the key is showing up as a whole human and being unafraid of transparency, then working toward improving relationships within an organization, within team communications or with customers.”

Being present to perceive and listen and respond to the person or situation in front of them without judgment, while recognizing the emotional needs of others at play. An emotionally intelligent leader is able to appreciate and allow other’s emotions and handle them with empathy.

Self-mastery of emotional awareness so that they are not yanked into emotional reactions, but instead can more aptly choose how to respond in any given moment.

Want to go much further? For a comprehensive list of leadership training opportunities, books, tips, exercises, videos and assessments to help develop your emotional intelligence, please check out the Positive Psychology Program for resources.

/by

Emotional Intelligence – Part 1: The Higher Your Go, The More It Matters!

By Aimee Hansen

Research has shown that leadership accomplishment at the most senior levels is highly correlated with emotional intelligence.

Emotional Intelligence in LeadershipEQ is said to be responsible for up to 58% of performance outcome. Whereas cognitive ability and IQ are “threshold competencies,” emotional intelligence is a differentiator at the leadership edge.

Emotional intelligence is so important in leadership that research has found that within groups with no dedicated leader, having the highest emotional intelligence is one of the driving factors for who will ultimately emerge as a leader. It’s not only an asset for leadership, but a predictor of leadership success.

It’s been called “the next sign of great leadership” in a Forbes Council Post, and in the quiet and remarkable transformation happening in business, “Honesty, intelligence and empathy are required.”

“Yes, this requires a level of vulnerability that makes old school CEOs and COOs cringe,” writes Rebecca T. Dickson, “But for those open to it, leaders are building trust they were never able to when they hid behind authority.”

No Soft Skill

Dr. Daniel Goleman, the most famous of the emotional intelligence researchers, highlights that EI is especially critical in the C-Suite. Goleman told Acertitude, an executive search firm, “what I found is that for jobs at every level, emotional intelligence is about twice as important as cognitive ability. The higher you go in the organization the more it matters. For top-level C-suite jobs, 80% to 90% of the abilities that distinguish high performers, as identified by the company itself, is based on emotional intelligence.”

Goleman told Acertitude, “What they’re looking for is the ability to manage yourself and to handle relationships effectively. That’s the definition of emotional intelligence. That’s what really matters.”

When IQ and technical skills are similar, emotional intelligence (no soft skill) is what moves people up the ladder. It pays too.

One study found that participants with high degrees of emotional intelligence made an annual average of $29,000 more than those with a low degree of emotional intelligence.

What is Emotional Intelligence

Goleman breaks the emotional intelligence framework into four areas:

• Self-Awareness: accurate self-assessment, self-confidence, and emotional self-awareness
• Social-Awareness: empathy, organizational awareness, and service
• Self Management: emotional self-control, transparency, adaptability, achievement, initiative, and optimism
• Relationship Management: inspirational leadership, influence, developing others, change catalyst, conflict management, bond-building, and teamwork

With emotional intelligence, you’re able to bring awareness to your brain’s fast operating system, which is automatic, default, irrational and often quick to interpret events negatively rather than as opportunities and react with disproportional emotion to the situation in front of you now. You attune more to your slower, more cautious and intentional second operating system so that you may respond rather than react.

Within self-awareness, empathy plays a particularly important role when it comes to C-Suite leadership:

• Cognitive Empathy is being able to see the world through other’s perspectives (mind-to-mind connection).
• Emotional Empathy is being able to feel what others are feeling.
• Empathic Concern is being able to relate to how others think and feel and to care about helping them (heart-to-heart connection).

The best leaders possess these empathic characteristics and can articulate and inspire others in a common vision.

Primal Leadership

Goleman introduces the concept of “primal leadership” – “No matter what leaders set out to do—whether it’s creating strategy or mobilizing teams to action—their success depends on how they do it. Even if they get everything else just right, if leaders fail in this primal task of driving emotions in the right direction, nothing they do will work as well as it could or should.”

“This emotional task of the leader is primal—that is, first—in two senses: It is both the original and the most important act of leadership.” Goleman states. “Leaders have always played a primordial emotional role.”

Fred Kofman, an Argentinian economist and author writes, “Hearts and minds cannot be bought or forced; they can only be deserved and earned. They are given only to worthy missions and trustworthy leaders. This applies not only to organizations but also to many other domains of human activity.”

A leader who is highly effective is often a leader that has done substantial work on herself or himself when it comes to emotional mastery through what Nancy Koehn has called “the gathering years” of harnessing one’s emotional awareness to access her or his deeper strength.

At the helm of any organization are those who navigate the relationship of that organization’s behavior to the very ideology it operates from, the relationship with all those who it serves and the relationship to all those who support it to exist.

Cultivating a sophisticated relationship with yourself, with your emotions and with relating to others emotions is the prerequisite to C-Suite leadership, and more than ever, to evolving how leadership shows up.

/by

Who Do You See in the Mirror?

,
Janelle BrulandNo matter how successful we become, for some of us there is a whisper we hear that never quite goes away.

Call it imposter syndrome or just self-doubt, but it’s there if we allow it. I have learned that we can silence this intruder to our success. But it takes effort and consistency.

How we see ourselves is directly related to how we portray ourselves to the outside world. We will either limit ourselves in what we are able to accomplish or may desire to prove what we can accomplish, but those successes do not bring peace and fulfillment. I like the picture of a small kitten who looks at its reflection in the mirror and sees a mighty lion. If we feel small with not much to offer, we won’t invest in ourselves and will limit what we can accomplish. On the other hand, if we see ourselves as strong and capable, the possibilities are unlimited.

Why do so many people fail to grow and reach their potential, or accomplish many things and be unable to experience joy and satisfaction from it? I’ve concluded that one of the main reasons is a low self-image. When we have a low self-image, we feel poorly about ourselves, and tend to make the situation worse through negative thoughts and critical self-talk. If we don’t feel worth the effort, the image we have of ourselves will remain low without the chance to improve.

Unfortunately, negative, critical self-talk can be ingrained in us from childhood. In their book The Answer, businessmen-authors John Assaraf and Murray Smith speak to the negative messages children receive growing up. “By the time you’re seventeen years old, you’ve heard ‘No, you can’t,’ an average of 150,000 times. You’ve heard ‘Yes, you can,’ about 5,000 times. That’s 30 no’s for every yes. That makes for a powerful belief of ‘I can’t.’”

You can choose to silence your inner critic. For some of us it is easier to let go of this lens we view ourselves through, for others it feels like a constant battle with our inner critic. It takes time and work to change this perception that has been reinforced for years. The good news is by choosing to have positive thoughts about yourself, you can begin the process to change and improve your self-image. Here are a couple of ways I have found to be helpful in silencing our inner critic:

Guard Your Self-Talk

One way to build your self-image is by guarding your self-talk. If you think about it, you will realize you talk to yourself many times a day. Is that self-talk positive or negative? Are you being kind to yourself or critical? When faced with a problem do you tell yourself, “I’ve got this. I will figure it out” or instead say, “I’ve messed up again – I never get it right.” It can be helpful to log your thoughts to determine how you are doing.

Take time to be kind to yourself. You can be kind to yourself with the intention of being more kind to others, but it starts with you.

When you realize your own special value, you will see yourself as strong and capable. You will believe you are worth investing in. The result will be growth and development and living up to your full potential.

Focus on Your Strengths

Change your focus to all the things you excel at. What are your strengths and how can you choose to use them to make life better for yourself and others? Turn around the negatives and focus on your positive attributes. Anytime you struggle with feelings of inadequacy, take the time to stop, take a breath, and reassess why you are having these feelings. Often, we overlook our greatest assets, so by intentionally examining ourselves in the mirror to find our inner lions we can choose who we see.

If you want to formalize the process take a strengths self-assessment like Birkman. Spend time with the results. Live with them and remind yourself often about your unique gifts and talents. I found this particular assessment so helpful that we took our entire management team through it, and I am now certified to conduct the assessment for others.

Another way is to ask your friends and colleagues what they see in you. You might be surprised at how others view you. It is a great exercise, and a very encouraging one. Again, live with the positives you glean from it.

You are a Lion

If you are reading this, you are a lion. You have ascended to leadership or started a business or are just getting started on a life of accomplishment, but there is so much more to do. Silence the whisper that holds so many people back. Be proactive about reminding yourself often that you are more than capable. You are strong and you have proven it over and over again.

Janelle Bruland is an entrepreneur, author, speaker, and high-performance coach who inspires others to live impactful and successful lives. She is Founder and CEO of Management Services Northwest, a company she started in her living room in 1995 and has grown into an industry leading company, named one of the Fastest Growing Private Companies by Inc. magazine. The CPO of Microsoft, Mike Simms, describes her as a true pioneer in her field. Janelle is also the Co-Founder of Legacy Leader, a leadership development company that teaches business professionals how to build a legacy, transform their leadership, and love their life. She is the author of The Success Lie: 5 Simple Truths to Overcome Overwhelm and Achieve Peace of Mind.

The opinions and views expressed by guest contributors are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of theglasshammer.com

/by

Why Self-Care Matters Most In Leadership (Yes, for you too!)

You know the first things you are quick to sacrifice when it comes to meeting all the demands of work (self-care, well-being, downtime)? Well they are the last things you should.

Self-care in leadershipIf you have been able to reach and stay at the executive level, then you are more likely to have learned that self-care is inextricable to leadership. You have ideally dropped the cultural self-sacrifice story a long time ago in your leadership journey.

A study of self-care among executive leadership in healthcare organizations found that “Leaders’ with high self-care ratings were likely to be from an organization with a high profit margin, while leaders with low ratings were likely to be either in their role for less than a year or from an organization with a lower profit margin.”

How much leaders practice self-care has a trickle down effect within organizations, and especially, in your own life and ability to show up.

Sacrificing Self-Care Benefits Nobody

We already know that playing the long hours game has a strong adverse impact on women’s short and long-term health relative to men. We know that a female-skewed over-conscientious approach to work can lead to emotional exhaustion. And research has shown that high work-related fatigue is even stronger for highly educated women.

Mindfulness researcher and author Jacqueline Carter shared with theglasshammer, “it was amazing to see how basically the higher you got in an organization, the higher the level of the executives, they all took time to exercise, they slept well, even despite ridiculous travel schedules and ridiculous scopes of jobs,” says Carter. “It was really clear that if you don’t start taking good care of yourself and setting good boundaries and saying no at an earlier level of your leadership journey, you’re gonna burn out.”

According to Harvard Business Review, “burnout cuts across executive and managerial levels…the major defining characteristic of burnout is that people can’t or won’t do again what they have been doing.” Identifiable characteristics include: “(1) chronic fatigue; (2) anger at those making demands; (3) self-criticism for putting up with the demands; (4) cynicism, negativity, and irritability; (5) a sense of being besieged; and (6) hair-trigger display of emotions.”

When in burnout, you lose your heart for where you’ve come to and where you’re at and what you’re doing.

Investment: Healthy You, Healthy Leadership

“I think there’s a mind-set shift that happens when people start to take this seriously, which is to go from seeing the investment of time in sleep, exercise, and mindfulness as a cost to thinking of it as an investment,” says Caroline Webb, senior adviser to McKinsey and author of How to Have a Good Day: Harness the Power of Behavioral Science to Transform Your Working Life.

“In fact, it’s not just an investment that pays back long term, it’s an investment that pays back, all the evidence suggests, rather immediately,” says Webb. “The idea of that shift—that this is not down time, it’s simply investing in your ability to have more up time—is something which I’ve seen at the heart of everybody who makes a difference in the way that they’re living their lives, and also in the way that their teams around them are living their lives.”

The Value in Reset and Renewal

There are many ideas for how to incorporate self-care into your daily routine – such as meditation, being in nature, spending pockets of time in silence, drinking more water, starting a gratitude practice, scheduling your day to include work and non-work activities, practicing affirmations, getting massages and more. The thing is when you approach these things as something else on the task list to fit in when you’re already at overload, self-care can feel like yet another chore.

Research shows it can be valuable to step away from it all, take a bigger breath and dedicate attention for yourself to reset and renew. The right health-related vacation can shift things – it can bring you back to yourself, to open perspectives and return to a center of clarity and expansiveness, with benefits that last long beyond the time you spend away.

Research has shown that “individuals who attended a spiritual retreat for 7 days experienced changes in the dopamine and serotonin systems of the brain, which boosts the availability of these neurotransmitters” that relate to positive psychological effects. Additionally, meditation retreats have shown “large effects” on anxiety, depression, stress, mindfulness and compassion. Studies have also shown improvements in physical health, tension, and fatigue.

“A one-week wellness retreat (including many educational, therapeutic and leisure activities, and an organic, mostly plant-based diet),” according to a scientific study, “resulted in substantial improvements in everything from weight to blood pressure to psychological health – and sustained at six weeks (the last check-in point of the study).”

Beth McGroarty, director of research at the Global Wellness Institute, said to Travel Weekly, “in a wellness retreat, therapies/experiences often happen in concert and over multiple days, and combining them may have unique outcomes.”

As the research report states, “Retreat experiences provide a unique opportunity for people to escape from unhealthy routines and engage in healthy practices and activities that lead to immediate and sustained health benefits.”

For transparency, the writer of this article hosts women’s retreats, and my direct experience in facilitating a space in which a woman can connect with other women in vulnerability, return to her own center, show up from this place, and impact her own life trajectory is the inspiration for my personal commitment to this work.

No Matter How You Do It…

The bottom line is that no matter how you start or improve self-care – whether taking small moments for big impact changes in your daily routine or taking a bigger break away from it all to truly reset and renew – what’s most important, on all levels, is that you do.

Writer Bio:

Aimee Hansen, freelance writer for the theglasshammer, is the Creator and Facilitator of Storyteller Within Women’s Retreats, recommended by Lonely Planet Wellness Escapes. Since 2015, she has hosted nearly 150 women across 18 intimate retreat experiences. Her Journey Into Sacred Expression Retreats involve meditation, yoga, self-exploratory writing and sacred ceremonies, all in beautiful natural surroundings. She’ll be hosting two upcoming women’s retreat events this summer – in late June and late July – on the stunning Lake Atitlan in Guatemala, for women seeking self-renewal.

/by

Hard Talk: Work, Motherhood and the Unfinished Discussion

By Nicki Gilmour

Welcome to my new column called Hard Talk.

Nicki GilmourThis column will surface the topics that are buried by most of us due to many reasons including fear, exasperation, denial, taboos and lack of information until we stumble upon the topic itself as a challenge. Also, happy Mother’s Day.

I am going to start by telling you I do not have all, if any, of the answers, but I do want to create the space for each of us to come up with our own answers while offering insight into the individual and common psychology that binds us. I believe there is value to putting on the table the systemic and psychological reasons that explain why important topics are often ignored by the best of us as it pertains to careers and the person we are inside and outside of the office building.

How to spot a difficult subject

There are so many things that we aren’t willing to talk about in society and, in this instance, corporate life. How do you spot a taboo or something that just isn’t “on the table,” or, weirdly, is half on the table, whereby the topic seems like it is being dealt with or is resolved already, but really isn’t?

A sign to look for is when the topic is mostly talked about in a personalized (subjective) way, pitting women or people against other women or other people, suggesting somehow it is not a systemic issue but rather a matter choices and opinions. This is false reasoning when the so-called choices are a binary revolving around a lose-lose paradigm that only one societal group has to participate in.

The topic must be identified for real solutions to be found.

Why is motherhood a minefield topic?

Motherhood is a tricky topic as it is an identity and a job in itself. Fatherhood, when played out as many fathers do now in the legacy mother role of primary caregiver, also begs analysis for bias, but for now we shall discuss motherhood. Not everyone wants (another taboo) or can have (another under-discussed taboo) babies. But for those who do, there is not a woman alive in a defined career trajectory who has not given serious thought to the timing and logistics of how having a kid will affect her career. Anxiety at worst, mindshare at best. Once in it, motherhood can become both a Chief Operations Officer job and an internship as moving parts and project scheduling and learning plus actual execution are all very much part of the job. This is on top of a (big, busy and important) day job.

Just to be clear, this column is not one of judgment or even grouping as everyone has different feelings towards ambition, guilt and their own individual needs regarding work and what they glean intellectually, emotionally and financially from doing it. Additionally, there are so many influencing elements around each person’s spousal division of labor, capacity to organize and delegate support. Then there is the other topic of how much money each person has to throw at solutions should their preference lie there. And if the primary care giver is your spouse – man or woman – the conversation certainly changes slightly.

The difficulty of saying small humans disrupt life as we know it

Why has it taken me 13 years and 8,000 articles published to touch this topic? Simply put, we were in another time era. It is only very recently that corporations are in a place to discuss policy around parental leave as opposed to maternity leave. Equal pay for the same job in the US and elsewhere – such as the UK – is still being truly decided and addressed. We are not as advanced as we think we are.

The perception around women and babies and how that somehow negatively affected productivity or competence was just too strong. It felt like even indulging in the conversation of babies impacting careers was an admission that there was validity to the possibility that it was so. Instead of speaking in terms of systemic changes, we were very much stuck in an individual choices discussion.

The denial around impact of any kind was necessary because it felt like a betrayal to the messaging around “you can do it,” “just lean in” and other Generation X messaging to women. Good men with willingness to change have continued to be messaged more or less the same “provider” talk until recently and those who bucked the trend have had their own bias to deal with, from being excluded from mommy coffee dates to how to enter a bathroom to change their babies.

Motherhood has been said to be the unfinished work of feminism in a matricentric theory and movement being proposed by Andrea O’Reilly. Motherhood has been largely left out of feminist theory and I think this is why my usual “push the envelope and talk about it anyway” trait, which has allowed us to talk about intersecting identities at work in so many forms, has not attracted me to this topic until now. Apparently I was not on my own but like my evolution on the willingness to talk about it, others indicate a sea change with The Guardian’s Amy Westervelt opining that, “Most surprising to me, as someone told by women’s magazine editors for years ‘we don’t cover motherhood’, is the fact that publications like Elle and Marie Claire appear to have lifted their long-standing ban on motherhood.”

Still an issue to resolve

Ann Crittenden, in her book “The Price of Motherhood”, states, “once a woman has a baby, the egalitarian office party is over thoroughly.”

And other people have written at length regarding the bias of motherhood for pay and promotions so it is felt currently by some and is far from a resolved issue, culturally. In fact, if you look at Wikipedia’s definition of “mommy track” it is interesting to see that they define it almost as a choice for women to take, instead of an action that happens to women by others.

No company has this issue cracked. But, some are trying hard to create conditions culturally and programmatically. It still feels like the conversation needs to be reframed and developed to redesign the workplace of the future with a society to match. In the meantime, look for those companies that remove the subjectivity of flextime or where parental leave is taken by men for real amounts of time. Live your values and instead of the lean in message, and perhaps focus on personal renewal while the system catches up.

/by

The Professional Woman’s Guide to a Drama-Free Workplace

,

Guest Contribution. The following article is adapted from the book, The Drama-Free Workplace.

Workplace DramaIn this post-#MeToo era, many women, both organizational leaders and individual contributors, are asking what role they can play in ridding our workplaces of drama.

Workplace drama comes in many forms, but two of the most common, and two that disproportionately affect professional women, are sexual harassment and bias.

Root Causes of Workplace Drama

The list of root causes is long, but here are four of the most important reasons why bias and sexual harassment exist at work:

Inauthentic leadership: A lack of authenticity creates or perpetuates a belief that management is hypocritical, that they only talk the talk but don’t walk the walk.

Problem-solving deficit: A lack of authenticity leads to inconsistency, usually seen in the form of the failure to implement solutions in an even-handed way.

Increased division: Failure to communicate clearly and transparently creates a sense of “us versus them” which perpetuates the cycle of division and mistrust.

Culture of complicity: An “us versus them” culture becomes permissive and tolerates bad behavior. This leads to blind spots since “we” think “they” are out to get us.

From Unconscious Bias to Radical Fairness

Bias is at the root of many of the issues that become workplace drama.

As the term gains popularity, many now cringe when they hear “unconscious bias” since they imagine training on something touchy-feely. Another way of stating it is that our “hidden” brain heavily influences our decision-making at work (and elsewhere). We won’t solve the issue unless we:

1) acknowledge that we are all influenced by factors outside our conscious minds;
2) that affect our decision-making (sometimes negatively); and
3) that despite this reality, there are ways we can fix the problem.

So, what can we do to take away the power of unconscious bias at work? Here are a few strategies:

  • Create stronger connections up, down and across. Research shows that we tend to view the world through a relatively homogenous lens. If your friends, coworkers and acquaintances tend to be from the same demographic groups as you (race/ethnicity, socio-economic status, geographic location, position at work, etc.) then how can we expect to debunk hidden beliefs we have about “the other?” Be creative – use stories and analogies, current events and research, facts and popular culture – anything that can show people that we have more in common than we think.
  • Be authentic. Employees can detect hypocracy from miles away. Implement programs that you’re truly committed to studying and resolving. Be the “and” in a “this OR that” world. Combine data/ AND a human touch to resolve issues of bias so that you are hiring and retaining top diverse talent.

Failure to implement realistic solutions to eliminate bias from decision-making at work leads to exclusion. This becomes clear as we look at issues of inclusion and diversity – if biased decision-making isn’t checked, your program to create a diverse workforce where each employee feels as though he or she belongs, is doomed.

The “Cure” for Workplace Sexual Harassment

For female professionals, the presence of sexual harassment at work is as dangerous as the presence of gender bias.

Here are three strategies you should take to eliminate sexual harassment at your organization:

  • Go beyond the letter of policies. While promising a “harassment free workplace” is a good promise, that should be the floor, not the ceiling. Just like you don’t want to eat at a restaurant that promises not to give you food poisoning (rather than promising an excellent dining experience) so too should workplaces promise a healthy, respectful and inclusive culture, not just mere legal compliance. The spirit of the policy should be just as important as the written word.
  • Step up and speak out. In many instances, harassing behavior starts out as minor, but when left unchecked, it not only escalates, the bad actor is emboldened to go one step further. Going from passive bystander to active upstander is therefore vital. There are a number of ways to accomplish this and the only rule is that doing nothing shouldn’t be an option.
  • If you’re a leader, help develop a system of perceived fairness, in addition to actual fairness. For the elimination of sexual harassment, the single most important way to do this is to hold everyone equally accountable for misconduct. Everyone. Even if the bad actor is the CEO, or a leader deemed “too valuable to lose.”

And while these strategies might appear to be geared toward leaders, they apply equally to every employee who has a vested interest in ridding our workplace of bias and harassment– we’re all in this together and it will require each one of us to implement these strategies to succeed. By taking these steps, you will play a vital role in making sure that bias and harassment are a thing of the past at your workplace.

Patti Perez is VP of Workplace Strategy at Emtrain. She is a licensed California attorney, a professionally-certified HR executive, and a specialist in the prevention and resolution of workplace drama. She is a frequent speaker on these topics and is the author of the soon-to-be-published The Drama-Free Workplace (Wiley, April 2019).

This is a guest contribution and does not represent the opinions of theglasshammer.com- all views are of the guest writer.

/by

Should I stay or should I go? Are you thinking of leaving for the right reasons?

, ,
Nicki Gilmour - Founder of The Glasshammer.comShould I stay in my job or leave to go to a new firm? This is often the question that brings people to coaching.

There is no simple answer to this, but there are ways to truly explore what is best for you.

I can break these down into three categories:

1. Systemic dysfunction – is there misalignment in the way people and processes meet? Is the culture and how work gets done around here, one of inconsistent management practices with no real support with process and policy to ensure good behaviors happen? Is leadership lacking? Is the mission unclear? Are you able to do your job the way you see fit?

2. You – your mental models, behaviors, reaction and actions.

3. Them – other people and their mental models, behaviors, reactions and actions.

It is only by looking at these factors that you can make an assessment of whether staying or leaving is best. You go with you to the next job so repeating patterns won’t bring you happiness or success if those patterns needs to be broken.

I am now taking up to 15 new coaching clients for Spring/Summer – if you are interested in signing up and working with me for 5 sessions, book in for an exploratory call to see if I can help you over the next 6-9 months so you can develop, grow, succeed and feel renewal at work.

Testimonials from mid to senior level professionals available.

/by