Op-ed: How to succeed as a #softblackgirl in Corporate America

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#softblackgirl – It has been said over the years anecdotally that as a Black person in white America, you’ve got to work twice as hard to get half as far. I feel like this has resonated with me for my entire life, and this reality served as a fire for my work ethic. I spent over 20 years leading teams at Fortune 500 companies and startups in Silicon Valley. I worked nights and weekends attempting to make a crack in the “concrete ceiling.” Many are familiar with the term the “glass ceiling,” referring to barriers for women to advance in their careers. We all know that glass eventually can be broken. However, I believe for Black women, our ceiling is a much tougher one to even crack. There have only been four Black women CEOs of Fortune 500 companies in our entire history! And there are only two that are active today.

According to Lean In’s The State of Black Women in Corporate America, for every 100 men promoted to manager, only 58 Black women are promoted, despite the fact that Black women ask for promotions at the same rate as men.

With the obstacles stacked against us at work, and the “invisible labor” that we undertake at home, self-care tends to go out the window as we prioritize our jobs and our families. How can Black women possibly embrace this movement towards a soft life and still do well in the workplace?

5 Steps to Succeed as a #SoftBlackGirl in Corporate America

1. Set Boundaries

Boundaries can come in different forms. Perhaps it’s the hours you are available for work. For example, you might set a strict boundary that you are unavailable after 6pm and will not respond to work messages over the weekend. Maybe it’s the frequency of travel that is sustainable for you and your family. Maybe it’s about your preferred communication channels, and you do not want coworkers texting your personal phone. Regardless of what your boundaries are, be sure to communicate them to your colleagues so that they are aware and can make conscious choices around whether to abide by them.

When you are asked to do things that cross your boundaries, I invite you to pause and ask yourself, do I want to do this? Do I have the space to do this? What will the impact be on me and on others if I do this? Listen to your gut. And, if the answer is “No,” communicate just that. Practicing saying “No” in the mirror can be a very powerful exercise to build up your confidence for the real thing.

What is one boundary that you can set right now that prioritizes self-care?

2. Prioritize & Do Less


We often feel like we have to do everything, and that can be extremely overwhelming. The key to both success and self-care in the workplace is to do what matters to the people that matter. Identify who matters in the organization and what they care about. Excel on those projects, and don’t sweat the small stuff! You will get a bigger bang for your buck in terms of your personal brand image at work, and you’ll have more time for you.

One tool that is extremely helpful in prioritizing is the Eisenhower Matrix. In a 2×2 matrix you categorize tasks into urgent vs. not urgent, and important vs. not important. Based on where something falls in the matrix, you can decide whether to do it now, schedule it for later, delegate, or delete it from your list. My favorite of the categories is when you realize that something is both not urgent and not important, and there is something so satisfying about being able to delete it. This is self-care. This is embracing the soft Black girl life!

What tasks on your to-do list are both not urgent and not important?

3. Celebrate Wins Weekly

I often feel like I’m not doing enough. This leads to a spiral of negative thoughts around my competence, value and self-worth. However research shows that when people are reminded of their best work before undertaking a challenging project, they have more creativity and less stress. Taking the time to acknowledge all the amazing things you have achieved can be a powerful confidence boost and do wonders for your productivity. Every week, (Fridays are great), write down what you can celebrate this week. Small steps of progress count, even if it’s just sending an email that was hard to write!

Once you have recognized all the great wins of the week, it’s important to also take the time to celebrate! I invite you to “Treat Yo’ Self!” This doesn’t necessarily mean to go on a shopping spree, though if that’s what you feel like, then by all means! Think about what brings you joy. Maybe it’s a pedicure. Maybe it’s a luxurious bubble bath with some candles and bath bombs. Maybe it’s a piece of your favorite chocolate.

What is one thing you can celebrate this week? How can you treat yourself?

4. Communicate Your Wins

It’s important that you get the recognition that you deserve, so don’t be shy about communicating your wins both to people more senior in the organization and to those on other teams. In response to “How are you?” at the water cooler, be sure to casually mention your wins. “I’m doing great! I just led this project with {insert success metrics}” or, ”We are very close to launching XYZ!” Consider being the one to send celebration emails when your team has a win. If they come from you, people will associate that win with you!

What is one win that you can communicate to your colleagues?

5. Schedule Self-Care Breaks

If you don’t put it on the calendar, it most likely won’t happen. So schedule time for self-care in your day. This can be something as short as a 5 minute reset break where you are intentional about doing a rejuvenation practice such as box breathing. If breathing isn’t your thing, you could set a timer for two minutes and massage your temples. It’s an amazing stress reliever. If you have more time, maybe you go for a walk outside if the weather is nice, or do a 20 minute sound bath to relax. Consider taking lunch breaks away from your computer. These very simple acts can completely change your day, your mood, and your ability to do your best work! When the calendar reminder comes up, and you are tempted to finish up “just that one little thing,” remind yourself of this mantra:

“Today I choose me!”

Bio: Zee Clarke, a Harvard MBA, breathwork expert, and author of Black People Breathe (March 14, 2023 / Penguin Random House). After experiencing a number of race related challenges, from racial profiling and harassment by the police to microaggressions in the workplace, she realized that mindfulness and breathwork were much more powerful outside of the yoga studio and in the context of our everyday lives. Trained in India, Zee leverages her toolkit of yoga, meditation, breathwork, sound healing, and Reiki, to ensure that all people of color have the tools to thrive despite any challenges that race, gender, or sexuality might present. 

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