Op-ED: How to Navigate Your Career as a Working Mother in Technology

Navigating one’s career as a working mother in technology is akin to holding a porcupine, while jumping through a ring of fire, and trying to put mascara on at the same time. It can be uncomfortable, it can make you feel hot, and we try to look our best while doing it all. In fact, our survey of over 300 mothers worldwide, published in our book Pressing ON As A Tech Mom: How Tech Industry Mothers Set Goals, Define Boundaries And Raise the Bar for Success, revealed that 34 percent felt that working in such a hectic, high-speed environment was incredibly tough and sometimes downright impossible. Being a woman in tech is challenging, but being a mother makes it even more so challenging.


With just 27 percent of female representation in the science, technology, engineering, and math (STEM) industries, women are underrepresented. Mothers who remain in these fields are even fewer, with 43 percent of women leaving full-time STEM employment after their first child (PNAS). Since women in tech studies report that $12 trillion could be added to global GDP by 2025 with a more gender-diverse workforce, where balanced contributions can lead to the creation of workplaces in which “employees feel safe to innovate, knowing that their unique experiences and contributions are valued” (JAB), there are compelling reasons for change.

As mothers in tech, what can we do to overcome the obstacles, and rise above to thrive in our careers, rather than only survive?

Here are three key steps to navigating motherhood and their STEM careers:

• Squash Imposter Syndrome – When we believe that we are unworthy of the role that we are in or feel that we lack the skills to be successful, we often feel like imposters. According to Forbes, 75 percent of professional women report experiencing this unsavory feeling. When these thoughts and ideas enter our minds, we need to invoke a strategy to dismiss that negative feedback loop. Instead of telling yourself “I don’t know what I’m doing,” leverage positive self-talk and think about the skills that you are bringing to a role or situation. If you are a leader, be mindful about providing positive reinforcement for a job well done and enable an emotionally safe space where giving and receiving feedback is welcome.

 

• Find A Mentor And A Sponsor – Mentorship and sponsorship are one of the most important ways to enable a woman to rise. Yet in our survey for our book, we found that just 41 percent of women ever had the benefit of these champion roles boosting their careers. Understanding the difference between the two is one place to start: A mentor is someone with whom you can brainstorm ideas based on shared values. A sponsor is someone who can influence decisions about your career and/or compensation. Note that your sponsor and mentor can be male or female so long as they are your true advocate, in tune with your accomplishments and career goals. A second step to take is to seek these crucial advocacy roles out by simply asking mentor and sponsor candidates. Most people are willing to help, which leads us to our third tip:

 

• Lift Up Other Women – Live by the “golden rule” – treating other mothers in tech the way that you want to be treated. In past decades, women like my mom recount stories of women mistreating one another in favor of their own advancement (“To climb the corporate ladder, I needed to beat out the other women who were vying for the same limited roles.”).  While competition can be healthy, mindfully supporting one another is most important to nurture a balanced workplace where women can rise, and thrive, together. Lend a helping hand to a mother reintegrating into the workplace after parental leave. Invite another woman to join an important meeting as part of a career development initiative. Oblige when asked to serve as a sponsor and/or mentor for others.

By being confident, seeking out allyship, and practicing benevolence, mothers in technology have a greater chance of breaking down barriers and invoking change. With more mothers staying in technology, a more inclusive environment will emerge that sets the precedent for future generations. So, while the day-to-day routine of a working mom may feel like a circus act, continue to show up. Persist. Persevere. Your efforts are part of our movement to change the future for our daughters and their allies.

Other resources to nurture and inspire your journey that we often use include:

• How Women Rise: Break the 12 Habits Holding You Back from Your Next Raise, Promotion, Or Job. In their book, Marshall Goldsmith and Sally Helgesen identify twelve habits that women typically have that limit their ability to grow professionally and ways to change those behaviors.
• The Adventures of Women in Technology: How We Got Here And Why We Stay, by Alana Karen. Alana is Senior Software Engineer at Google, where she’s worked for over a decade. She has seen it all and remains loyal to her craft. Learn how she does it, and more importantly, why she is still in tech.
• Nevertheless, She Persisted: True Stories of Women Leaders in Tech. This book by Pratima Rao Gluckman recounts the stories of hundreds of women leaders who faced adversity and hardship in their tech careers, yet managed to find success.

About:
Sabina M. Pons is a management consultant whose focus is on driving revenue protection and growth for technology companies. In her 20+ year career, she has led global corporate teams, managed multi-million-dollar P&Ls, and built teams from the ground up. Now, she serves as the Managing Director of the emerging management consulting company, Growth Molecules.

With a master’s degree in Communication, Leadership & Organizational Behavior from Gonzaga University and a bachelor’s degree in Communications from the University of Southern California, Sabina is passionate about igniting corporate transformational change. She also sits on several boards, participates in many mentorship programs, and recently obtained a First-Degree Black Belt in Taekwondo. Sabina resides in Orange County in Southern California with her husband, two young children, and Goldendoodle dog, Riley. Pressing ON as a Tech Mom: How Tech Industry Mothers Set Goals, Define Boundaries & Raise the Bar for Success is Sabina’s first book.