Year End Review 2019: Diversity and Inclusion in 2020 Must Be Done Differently

2019 year end reviewThe headline for rounding up this decade is simple: doing the same thing over and over again is the very definition of madness.

Neuroscience and behavioral science have the answers to the (lack) of gender equity issue. The questions are, do people want the answer? And are they prepared to what it takes to get there? The term “the glass ceiling” was coined 41 years ago by Marilyn Loden who argued that the “the ‘invisible glass ceiling’ – the barriers to advancement that were cultural not personal – was doing the bulk of the damage to women’s career aspirations and opportunities.”

To that point, 41 years later, companies are still doing one thing wrong when addressing the issue of gender. What is this core truth? It is written concisely in the London School of Economics editorial in Forbes and is as simple as this: we focus too much on the role of the individual in perpetuating or solving these issues. Resulting in blaming men and burdening women.

Why is progress so slow? The decade in review

First of all, progress is slow. The decade started with a flurry of great research from Catalyst and Sylvia Ann Hewlett offering strong answers like sponsorship over mentorship and increased pipeline attention for women in crucial moments. This was good work, helpful and even hopeful but lacked the much needed shift of work from individuals to systemic answers despite knocking on that door. Progress was derailed in my opinion by 2013 by the unwitting false prophecy of “Lean In” with a misleading mantra which distracted leaders and diversity people from the real work as this false single fix was what people wanted to hear. More work for the women, everything else untouched. This is a prevalent theme with employee networks and training courses this entire decade. The most recent episode in the news was the EY training asking women to act nicely around men course leak which someone finally recognized as worth a whistleblow.

Even “Lean In” has the conclusion in 2019 that the sane academics and theglasshammer have been suggesting all the while, which is that you do what you have to do to get the system to lean in as well in order to truly succeed. The book was useful as it sparked the beginning of the discussion around privilege, and Ann Marie Slaughter’s counter piece on the system was a way to introduce what systemic barriers meant for people entering the discussion. Sandberg’s later work with Adam Grant on was excellent as we know she personally did the work but the people who made her the poster child only heard the message of “its on the women to do more”. The brightest spots for me in this era of 2013-2018 were Herminia Ibarra’s Act Like a Leader, Think Like a Leader with act-first-internalize-later theory but in conjunction with the inside-out approach of challenge – whose beliefs you are running around with? – of Kegan and Lahey’s work Immunity to Change. Finally, there is Cordelia Fine’s book called Testosterone Rex stating that behavioral differences are cultural, not biologically natural, to debunk the faux brain science of the two thousand and mid-teens. I won’t name names, but even if you believe men are from Mars and women are from Venus (which I don’t), we are all conditioned by earthly norms developed from  cultural (societal and inside whichever family you lived) messaging.

Legal Structures Do Matter Also

The World Economic Forum at Davos in 2018 proclaimed in their “Global Gender Gap Report” that at this rate it will take between 106 and 400 years to achieve gender equity. The US is ranked 51 in the global index, which includes economic participation, heath and survival, education and political (legal) empowerment. Iceland is ranked number one, with the Nordics filling the top four spots of getting there and UK sitting at number 15 in this global study. Guess what? Strong social fabric with less machismo, a safety net and laws that protect women seem to matter for gender equity. What we can learn from this report is that legal and policy support is fundamental to a gender equal society. The Equal Rights Amendment was still not ratified in the USA this decade, so women are technically not legally equal to men. Worth watching the documentary Equal means equal.

Does systemic change influence attitudinal change?

Yes, but only to the extent to which people can dissect their feelings around their thoughts. If someone has a strong belief system (say the implicit patriarchy and its schema of how society is constructed and run with normed and formed gender roles in this case of “diversity”) then it is harder for them to have attitudinal switches. However, if people have no feelings or the switch supports their feelings (and arousal such as fear is a common feeling) they are very easy to change their minds. Change in the status quo terrifies most people.

Also, we tend to have fixed ideas on the way it is and the “who is it.” This shows up as stereotypes, positive and negative, as we often forget how we naturally authorize men and deauthorize women all day long – and both sexes do it. We have written about how people hold stereotypes ubiquitously as many women have so much internalized sexism that they enjoy a massive benefit-of-the-doubt exercise on talent and competence as much as the next guy. Just this week Michelle Obama talked about not being so quick to defer and to resist a man’s presumption of power. Interestingly, if you read social media or onlne newsletter’s comment boxes, after a statement like this, someone (it is inevitable) says not all men, defensively of men, or worse, something personally dismissive (subconsciously racist) about Michelle Obama as a person. Observe your feelings and reactions as it is exactly this type of cognitive awareness that enables us to make choices such as language and nomination of the most talented person and get away from the binary of good or bad categorization that prevents you from uncovering biases and preferences. I mean literally Boris Johnson, said and did everything Theresa May had already done, but society and history will never remember that. This happens to women in meetings all day long.

It is not a battle of the sexes as that is a race to the bottom and we lose so much by generalizing all women or all men. Working on where cognitive process meets social conditioning is what the future of diversity needs, not HR compliance work on drinks parties or even panels (we have stopped holding them and ours were pretty groundbreaking). It is not Noah’s Ark with two of everyone and even if it was that, we have failed there too to gain real parity and have created all the wrong conversations.

It is costing everyone money by not changing. Possibly you personally. Practice forgiveness starting with yourself because we are all on a journey to evolve ourselves, our teams and society at large.

Awareness first, then doing the work to understand the very unique ways that each person needs to make the behavioral changes that creates success, sustainability and happiness is what we help leading women ( and men) in financial services and Fortune 1000 companies do with our coaching work. If you want to book a complimentary chemistry call with me to discuss if coaching could help you in 2020, book here.

We wish the readers of theglasshammer a happy and safe festive season. See you in January.

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The “Big Rock, Pebble, Sand” Analogy – and Other Tips for Success

Holly Batchelor-Anisha George-Meyanna Jiang

Meyanna Jiang, Anisha George, and Holly Batchelor

Three colleagues on growing as a leader, connecting with mentors and “managing up.”

In the December edition of The Glass Hammer, three colleagues at Goldman Sachs delve deep, sharing their best practices for success – ranging from thinking strategically and helping to further their teams’ goals to balancing competing priorities and “managing up.” Meet the interviewees and hear their take:

· Holly Batchelor is a vice president in Securities, based in Hong Kong

· Anisha George is an associate in Compliance, based in Bengaluru

· Meyanna Jiang is a vice president in Controllers, based in New York

Reflecting on your career at Goldman Sachs to date, what advice would you share with individuals just starting out?

· Meyanna: Be curious in your work, and look for ways to keep yourself challenged. I try to do one thing that scares me each week, whether it be public speaking, or volunteering for a project that I might not know much about.

· Holly: The ability to grow and nurture your network is invaluable – you might not realize it now, but the people you work with and get to know at the beginning of your career can be hugely influential and helpful later on.

· Anisha: I have found that projects others were not interested in working on ultimately had the biggest impact on my career. In addition, I would remind others that each individual has a unique journey – everyone’s path to success is different. I have learned to find joy and meaning in my own journey by setting personal goals and working to achieve them.

What actions do you take throughout your day to ensure you’re best helping your team and furthering its mission and strategy?

· Holly: I try to share as much information as possible with my team and keep everyone in the loop. Work is more enjoyable and fulfilling when you know why you’re working on a task, and are aware of the strategy you’re helping to implement.

· Meyanna: When I introduce a new project or task for my team, I aim to provide sufficient context by explaining how this deliverable supports our firmwide or divisional strategy.

How do you allocate time for both strategic thinking and execution in your role?

· Holly: Knowledge is power. Having a sense of what the market looks like and what our competitors are doing allows me to develop a strategy for my team and our plan for execution.

· Meyanna: I like to think of this as “zooming in” and “zooming out.” If the CEO stopped by your desk while you were in the middle of analyzing millions of rows of data and asked, “What are you working on?” how would you respond in a sentence or two? This exercise helps me think strategically.

What recommendations do you have for balancing competing priorities?

· Holly: To-do lists! It’s important to stay on top of priority projects, even as things pop up that require immediate attention. I often use the “big rock, pebble, sand” analogy when thinking about what I need to set aside time for: the big rocks are my major tasks and strategic initiatives, the pebbles are shorter-term tasks of lesser importance, and the sand is minor tasks that aren’t essential to my success.

· Meyanna: Stay organized, whether it’s adding calendar reminders, writing to-do lists, or color-coding emails to help you stay on track. I also remind my team that it’s okay to push back on requests or to say “no” when needed. Unless you speak up, no one will know that you need help.

· Anisha: It’s important to remember that having a fulfilling life outside of work helps your career and your work product. It might seem unrelated, but I think you can bring a more positive energy to the office when you have personal interests that also motivate you.

Any lessons learned on the importance of delegating?

· Meyanna: I’ve learned that the worst thing you can do as a manager is to delegate a task and then take it back, because this demotivates the team and makes them feel like their work is not valued. I’ve also learned that I need to provide “air cover” and give enough space for my team members to fail safely.

· Anisha: I used to dislike delegating because it required me to put in extra time and effort, but over time I realized that I would not be half as successful as I am today if every leader who invested in me had felt the same way about delegating. You can’t lead if no one is following.

· Holly: Delegation gives you the capacity to stretch further to build your business, and it allows you to effectively train and coach the colleagues whom you are delegating work to. Delegating work to others also allows for greater diversity of thought and experience, which often leads to better solutions.

How do you “manage up” with senior stakeholders?

· Anisha: Before meeting senior stakeholders I make sure to always prepare – people want to feel that their time is being valued, and adequate preparation helps shape and inform your conversation. When you have a strong agenda and follow-up plan when connecting with stakeholders, “managing up” just happens.

· Holly: First, you need to identify who your stakeholders are and what is important for them. Then, determine how they like to be kept up to date – do they prefer face-to-face catch ups, e-mail summaries, a full business plan? Adapting your style to match theirs will have much more of an impact.

Do you have a mentor or sponsor? If so, how do you make the most of your conversations with them?

· Holly: I have mentors within and outside of the firm that I often reach out to for advice. I put notes in my calendar to schedule catch-ups with them in order to nurture the relationship, just as you would with a client or stakeholder in your business.

· Meyanna: I have relationships with both mentors and sponsors, and many of these connections have formed organically. Managers can be a great resource, too – they have introduced me to contacts in their networks. Prior to each conversation with them, I write down a few topics for discussion, such as challenges in my day job or planning for the next step in my career.

· Anisha: I have more than one mentor because I value receiving guidance from different stakeholders. My mentors have diverse perspectives and push me to evaluate situations in different ways.

Have you participated in mobility? Do you have any advice for colleagues interested in either switching roles or offices?

· Meyanna: If you are exploring a role switch, raise your hand. Mention to your manager or mentor that you are interested in learning more about a certain business or working in a different location. It is easier for them to help you if they know your interests. In the meantime, continue being a rock star in your current role and look for ways to give yourself exposure to areas you are interested in.

· Anisha: I recently accepted a new role in Goldman Sachs Asset Management and will be relocating from Bengaluru to Dublin in January. The best advice I received when I was considering mobility was to focus on “What?” and “Why?” – meaning, “What do you want to do long-term?” and “Why do you want to move?” Once you have answered these questions, your options will become more clear.

Do you have a personal development plan to keep yourself accountable?

· Meyanna: I recommend writing down your goals. My last set of short- and long-term goals were written on a post-it note stuck to a bar of chocolate. (My team knows I always keep chocolate at my desk.) As I slowly finished the chocolate bar, I found that I was able to complete my goals over time. In addition, I find that it is helpful to share your goals with a buddy, who can help hold you accountable.

· Holly: In the early stages of my career I didn’t have any plan other to absorb as much information as possible. That hasn’t changed, but I now also set career goals with deadlines based on discussions I have with my mentors and stakeholders – incorporating their input is important in order to set realistic goals.

· Anisha: I think about where I want to be in one year and in 10 years, and develop my short- and long-term plans to achieve those goals. It’s necessary to also be nimble and update your goals as your world evolves.

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Change Leader: Deborah Lorenzen, Managing Director, Head of Enterprise Data Governance, State Street

Deb LorenzenDeborah Lorenzen is the head of Enterprise Data Governance at State Street. We caught up with her to discuss what is energizing her as we enter 2020 and what she hopes to achieve for herself and for others as a change leader for women in the workplace.

Nicki from theglasshammer (NG): Deb, we have profiled you before and you have attended as a panelist some of our career events over the years. I have always held you in high esteem as someone who walks the talk when it comes to helping other women and as a change leader for systemic issues. What lessons have you learned from 2019 and this decade generally to take into 2020 and the next decade?

Deb Lorenzen (DL): If you really want it you have to keep after it, even when it is hard. You just have to keep turning up for the fight. That said, if you are not having fun anymore, quit. That might sound blunt, but honestly, if you aren’t finding joy in what you spend much of your life doing you won’t be successful. So stop, regroup, and find the thing that gives you joy.

From a job title perspective my career path looks non-linear. I’ve always been curious about the next challenge. The strong thread that has held it together is executing on strategic change programs, whether that was acquisition or divestiture, global operating model changes, launching a new product or service into the market or closing down something that wasn’t successful, as well as the inevitable regulatory change. Diving into these change opportunities has provided the chance for me to live and work around the world, provided value to the firms and people who have been part of these efforts, and fed my own leadership journey into how operating models and organizations work.

NG: What excites you about 2020?

DL: In January 2020 I will begin teaching my first MBA course, an elective titled Executing Strategic Change at Providence College. Having spent much of my career driving major change programs it is exciting to pull all of those examples back out to consider what made them successful, and what I would do differently in hindsight. I’m looking forward to the exchange of ideas with a group of future thought leaders. Preparing the course has also been a good reminder of how much has been accomplished during my career.

NG: What trends in your industry are of particular interest to you?

DL: Right now, my focus is on Data Governance and how we help long-standing firms make the shift from application-oriented architecture to properly data-driven architecture. This is the classic example of a strategic change program where we are trying to change the engine and the tires of the bus while still driving down the highway. Fortunately, we have a fantastic team who are all focused on getting this done, and we have leadership in place who both understand what we need to do and are driving resources into place to support our goals.

NG: What is the one thing you know now that you wish you had known when you were first starting your career?

DL: There are so many things I wish I had known. Having grown up in a rural environment with more cows than people, there were very few accessible role models for working in the global financial markets so I couldn’t even have articulated that was what I wanted to do. In hindsight, I wish I had known all of this existed much earlier than I did. These days I spend as much time as I can mentoring new entrants to the financial world on how things work – how you manage salary and benefit negotiations, which lines of business or functional roles give you the most opportunity, how you find out what they are saying about you when you are not in the room so you can do something about the perception. There is no rocket science inherent to these lessons for readers of Glass Hammer, just value in remembering to ‘each one – reach one’ whenever we have the chance.

NG: What, if any, are the main barriers to success and/or challenges for women in your industry?

DL: I used to say that in New York there is so much competition they will take you out for any excuse they can find. I still believe that is true today, and not just in New York. The thing we have to keep working at diligently is making sure the successful excuses aren’t based in gender bias. Ensuring leadership understands inclusion also helps; tying compensation to actual progress is useful but imperfect. Putting daylight on hiring practices, promotion processes and open opportunities is useful as it forces leaders to think through their decisions in a different way.

NG: What advice would you give to young women in the industry or thinking about entering the industry?

DL: For new entrants I would tell them to just go for it. They shouldn’t listen too long to the stories from my generation because the rules ARE actually different now and they shouldn’t get bogged down in our histories. Newer entrants should use the network available – those of us who have been at it for 20+ years – as for the most part we’ll tell you anything you want to know about how the industry works. If we were to change anything we should simply dedicate more support to the next generation. We’re standing on the shoulders of giants ourselves, and we should give the next generation a hand up.

NG: What bright spots are there for gender equity at work?

DL: Working in the finance I learned long ago to ‘follow the money.’ On that front, the movement of institutional money toward Environment Social Governance (ESG) over the past few years is hugely gratifying. The impact is being seen right now in movement toward gender inclusion on Boards as well as investment in firms that reflect ESG goals and inclusive teams. The leverage available by focusing Institutional funds – pension plans in particular – toward ‘good’ goals is helping to make meaningful improvements in the marketplace.. At State Street we are helping to lead the move toward ESG by providing knowledge and infrastructure.

More locally, State Street has a group of ‘Leading Women’ made up of Executive Vice Presidents. They have been doing a great job of being visible and offering their wisdom and experience through lunches and speakers series. They represent a fantastic group of role models and the activities they are driving are helping to inspire a new generation of leaders.

NG: Outside of work, what is ‘sparking joy’?

DL: One of my joys is sitting on the Advisory Board for Global Female Leaders, an annual economic summit in Berlin where we join leading women from around the world representing politics, business and philanthropy to discuss the geo-political landscape and economic trends. Not only do I get to spend one long weekend each year surrounded by some of the most amazing women I’ve ever met, but I’ve also developed relationships that have provided insight and opportunity, as well as the confidence, to extend my life’s work in new directions.

On the personal front, our house is incredibly active right now, with three school-age children and all of the activities that brings, feet in two countries (my husband is Danish and I’m from California), and a full-time career. Teaching in the Providence MBA program will keep my mind active in the Spring. Beyond that I’m coaching 5th grade travel basketball as well as sitting on the Board of the travel program, and I’m co-leader of a Junior Girl Scout Troop. We are, at the behest of my eldest, fostering dogs for a rescue program here in Massachusetts, and have three puppies we began fostering at 7 days old thriving in the corner of her bedroom.

My hopes for the coming decade are to watch my children’s generation finish their education and enter a workforce that is more inclusive than we have today, with a set of clear rules for the game that are the same for everyone – a big ask, I know. For my part, my shoulder will still be on the wheel, mentoring, teaching, working, speaking truth to power about how it still is and what needs to change. And if culture can be defined as ‘how you get things done around here,’ I’ll continue driving for the continuous improvement of an inclusive culture.

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Mover and Shaker Q&A: Alpa Lally, Vice President of Data Business, Experian

Alpa LallyAlpa joined Experian in 2012 as an MBA program participant after initially working in the civil and structural engineering field in Canada and the US. After completing her program rotation she joined Experian’s North America Consumer Information Services (CIS) business as a Director of Prospecting. In 2015, Alpa joined the Global team as a Vice President of Strategy and in 2016, she joined the EITS organization to lead the Application Programming Interface (API) Centre of Excellence team. Most recently she joined the Experian Consumer Information Services to run the Data Business in North America, where she is responsible for product management related to Experian’s core and alternative data assets, including credit scoring models and tools. Additionally, Alpa is the Women in Experian (WiE) EITS ambassador, the sponsor of the Namaste Employee Resource Group (ERG) and is considered a thought leader in the industry by participating in speaking engagements globally. We caught up with her to learn how she is helping consumers gain access to the financial services that they need in her role at Experian.

TGH (theglasshammer): What are you working on right now?

AL (Alpa Lally): I oversee the products and scores at Experian. I feel lucky to be helping people access the credit they need while helping lenders make smarter decisions. We recently launched Experian Lift, a new scoring model that helps lenders score credit invisibles and people with a limited credit history. For the 40 million people who are currently viewed as unscoreable to a lender, this is a big deal. People who are new to this country, just getting their financial feet wet, or are recovering from a significant life-changing event may not have the traditional credit history typically used to assess creditworthiness and Experian Lift is our latest example of our commitment to help them get access to the financial services they need.

TGH: Where does your passion for this topic come from?

AL: My passion for improving financial access really comes from my own personal experiences and challenges that I have faced with credit access. I’m originally from Canada and immigrated to the U.S. When I moved, none of my positive credit history came along with me, so I had to start building my credit history from scratch. Proving you are a good credit risk to a lender when you have no traditional credit history is a real challenge and it’s a reality many people face.

Later in life, I also went through a major life-changing event: I got a divorce. This meant I was removed from joint credit accounts and was facing a lot of new debt. Because of these major life events, there were times that I had to rely on alternative forms of lending with high interest rates since I did not qualify for traditional, more affordable credit. My experiences fuel my passion to help people get the financial services they need when they need them.

TGH: What is the biggest challenge you face in your mission?

AL: One of the biggest challenges we face in the mission to improve financial health is that there is still a certain level of hesitation people have in sharing their own data. From where I sit, I’ve seen the benefits sharing data can have on a person’s ability to access many of the things we take for granted in life, such as qualifying for a loan for a new car.
As our technologies continue to evolve, I am able to see firsthand how sharing additional data has impacted many of the one million customers who have signed up for Experian Boost since we first launched six months ago. With this new product, for the first-time people have the opportunity to contribute information directly to their credit report. I’ve seen how many have boosted their score instantly by adding their positive cell phone, cable, utility and mobile phone payments to their report. As this trend continues and we see new tools like this creating a meaningful impact, I think more and more people will understand the value sharing data can create in their own lives because it not only has the potential to increase your credit score, it can allow consumers to get better access to credit for things they might need, like a car or personal loan.

TGH: What is your most recent success?

AL: I’d have to say my role in helping launch Experian Lift and its go to market strategy and the continued support of Experian Boost are my most recent successes. I feel good about these initiatives because an individual has never been able to directly impact the information included on their credit report until Experian Boost. Being a part of this groundbreaking tool was a proud moment for me both personally and professionally. Because it was such a new concept, there was a lot at stake, and we were unsure how people would respond. The results we’ve seen to date confirm that when we put financial health the heart of what we do, we have an opportunity to make really amazing things happen for people and businesses.

TGH: What is the one thing you know now that you wish you had known when you were first starting this endeavor?

AL: It is okay to stumble, and you will. No launch, pitch, or new innovation goes off without a hiccup or two so your ability to push forward is vital. To achieve this, you need to have constant feedback and a team that is in it together.

TGH: What is your advice for other women who have a challenge they wish to pursue?

AL: Go for it! I think as women we tend to overanalyze and overthink our actions. There’s never going to be a perfect time to pursue a challenge or a new endeavor. Women should also feel empowered to look for mentors and successful professionals in the industry and ask their advice. I’ve gained a lot from being mentored and mentoring others. In either situation, I always have key takeaways that I find help me both personally and professionally.

I also recommend getting actively involved at your organization. At Experian, we celebrate the diversity of ideas and backgrounds across our company. I have actively embraced our Employee Resource Groups and participated in events and initiatives such as International Women’s Day, Diwali, Lunar New Year, Hispanic Heritage Month, Pride and Veterans Day, among others. These employee groups are a great place to feel a sense of belonging and connect with people across the company with different backgrounds. It can be really beneficial to have these networks and relationships in place throughout your career as some of these people will be the ones you go to when you hit roadblocks and need help or advice.

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Juggling Work and Kids? Yes, You Can Have It All

Supporting new parents

Guest Contributed by Marissa Evans Alden, Co-Founder and CEO of Sawyer

Recent research shows that more than one in three working parents have missed a significant event in their child’s life due to work commitments.

Current standards can be very high standard for parenting, much higher than what existed when we were growing up. There’s this big feeling that you need to be present at all times – which just isn’t possible, because the other expectation is that you’re working and career-driven. Something has to give – and the challenge is which one is it? It’s something we’re all still figuring out.

It Takes a Village

There’s often this illusion that some women seem to be able to do it all but the truth is, if you’re doing it well, you’re not doing it alone. Having a solid support system in place is crucial. Being able to lean on a supportive spouse who understands what 50/50 really looks like or having a network of friends and family members close by is very helpful during periods when you need to travel for work or when you can’t be around outside of normal business hours. Also, a flexible nanny, babysitter or au pair is invaluable when it is crunch time.

At the same time, having a great business partner, as I do in Stephanie Choi (my former Rent The Runway colleague and now Sawyer co-founder), makes life a lot easier for when you need to leave the office for a doctor’s or school appointment. Being able to lean on your “village” really is critical.

Prioritize and Plan Ahead

Prioritizing what’s most important and what you are willing to compromise on helps set boundaries. I personally feel okay about missing bedtime two nights a week but I will draw a line there. The time between work and bed is a really sacred time for my daughter and me, so I like to make sure we use it well.

It does mean having to plan evening events religiously and prioritizing what to say yes to, regardless of whether it’s a night out with your spouse, a work event, or seeing friends. One equitable solution could be going home before bedtime or heading out after the kids are asleep. Plan whatever feels right for you and make that the top priority. Energy is required.

Create a Fulfilling Schedule for Your Kids

Balancing your kid’s free time and more structured time is something to be very mindful of. It’s important to strike a balance in order to facilitate well-rounded development. Ideally, a child will have a mix each day. There’s no one size-fits-all approach when it comes to the number of extra-curricular activities a child should or shouldn’t be involved in but I’m a fan of diversity – my daughter Blake does a mix of solo and team activities, physical and mental. For example, Blake is enrolled in three classes each week – theater, music and soccer – and then plays with friends and also goes to the playground, so there’s lots of socializing with other children in different settings. That seems to be a really good fit for her but each child is different.

Don’t Make Allowances at Work for Being Pregnant or Having a Family

One of the biggest challenges I’ve faced in business is the difficulty of raising funds as a female founder in the male-dominated venture capital industry (only 2.2% of VC funding in 2018 went to women). Many times when we did the pitch circuit either Stephanie or I was pregnant. It didn’t stop us from successfully raising the capital we needed to jump start our business though. My advice to other women is simply don’t ever see being pregnant or having a family as an obstacle between you and your goals.

Juggling it all

No one has ever said that juggling a career and making time for your family is easy, especially if you’re in a leadership position. Mom guilt affects many working mothers I know, but the good news is, according to research from Harvard Business School, kids of working mothers grow up to be just as happy in adulthood as children with stay-at-home moms.

While it can be a daunting task to try and “have it all,” with the right planning it is possible. Do set yourself work/life boundaries, don’t be afraid to ask for help, surround yourself with a solid support network, and don’t ever allow being a mother and having a family get in the way of your career goals.

About the Author

Marissa Evans Alden is the CEO and Co-Founder of Sawyer, the innovative online marketplace that offers a convenient, all-in-one booking experience for parents looking to discover enriching experiences for their children. A leader in the consumer products industry, Marissa is known for her ability to strategize and develop successful platforms throughout a range of industries.

A seasoned technology entrepreneur, Marissa received her BS in Human Development at Cornell University, followed by an MBA degree at Harvard Business School. Known for her proven ability to tap into the consumer market with a fresh eye, Marissa founded Go Try It On in 2010, a consumer fashion application that was acquired by Rent the Runway in 2013. She then joined Rent the Runway as Head of Radical Innovation, General Manager, where she lead the way for new product development and all things related to the growth and loyalty of the brand’s eCommerce. In 2015, Marissa and Rent the Runway co-worker Stephanie Choi co-created Sawyer.

The opinions and views expressed by guest contributors are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of theglasshammer.com

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Voice of Experience: Madelyn Caple, Head of Wholesale Partnerships and Business Development, Wells Fargo Wealth & Investment Management

Madelyn CapleBeing a leader in the wealth management industry can be lonely for women at times, but don’t give up, says Madelyn Caple, Head of Wholesale Partnerships and Business Development for Wells Fargo Wealth & Investment Management.

“It’s important for senior female leaders to continue to mentor and coach,” she says. “It can be lonely and competitive in this industry, and women tap out because they think they can’t do it all. But I am so glad I stuck with it. Sometimes it was hard to be there to chaperone a school field trip, but in the end, I know I made the right decision.”

She says that she is most proud of is where she is today, having raised two children and achieved balance. “Sometimes it was hard to be there to chaperone a school field trip, for example, but in the end, I know I made the right decision. It was as important to me to be a mom and wife as to be successful in my field.”

Moving For New Opportunities

For the past three decades, Caple has served in client-facing positions with Wells Fargo and its legacy companies. Since being named to the role of Head of Wholesale Partnerships and Business Development in August, Caple has been focused on talking to different stakeholders in Wells Fargo and understanding what’s important to them and their clients. “You have to always keep the client at the center of what you’re building, because they expect us to be collaborative and show up together,” she says.

Prior to this appointment, Caple had served as Regional Managing Director for the Carolina West Region of Wells Fargo Private Bank, based in Charlotte, where she moved after several positions in Florida with the bank. While she moved frequently early in her career, it helped propel her to opportunities that she otherwise wouldn’t have had. “Being curious and willing to take a challenge can separate you from others,” Caple says. Although once she arrived in Charlotte in 2004, she realized that the opportunities were plentiful, and there she stayed.

She started in the corporate bank, but recognized that the newer wealth segment was a good fit for her skills and interests. “I realized I liked dealing with personal situations and helping my clients find solutions,” she says. To augment her B.S. degree in Finance and Real Estate from Florida State University, Caple earned the CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER™ professional designation.

One of the lessons Caple has learned is the power of networking. Given her tenure with the company, she had the advantage of having a strong network of contacts. As she says, you never want to burn a bridge, since what goes around comes around. “Ten years later you might find yourself sitting together on the same side of an opportunity or even on different sides. You have to always do what’s right and show respect for people.”

That collaboration shouldn’t stop as you climb the ladder, either, she says, adding that it’s important to continue to support one another outwardly. If someone puts an idea on the table, offer constructive feedback and try to move it forward with colleagues.

Finding Meaning In Philanthropy

An active volunteer, Caple finds her philanthropic work to be incredibly fulfilling. She participates in many organizations, and her passion is in public education and its role as an equalizer. With both of her parents from rural Mississippi, she saw firsthand how an education allows you to distinguish yourself. She sits on the board of Central Piedmont Community College and recently was recognized by the United Negro College Fund as a 2019 Maya Angelou “Women Who Lead” honoree, someone whose footprints positively influence the community.

The reason for her passion is simple: “To whom much is given, much is expected. Giving fills my cup,” Caple says. “There are a lot of positive things happening in Charlotte,” she says. The bank encourages team members to volunteer their time to causes that are important to them and recently changed its matching gifts program to match volunteer time with dollars, in accordance with how today’s younger generation often prefers to donate.

Success is a Family Affair

Along with a keen sense of dedication, Caple says it’s vital to have a partner who supports your career and family ambitions. “You can’t have a full-time job in corporate America and a full-time job at home,” she notes. With one child in college and one recent college graduate, she and her husband have always loved to travel as a family. During spring break they typically took educational trips to Washington, D.C. or the Grand Canyon and still aim to find one thing a year that the four of them can do together.

In her free time, Caple loves to cook and entertain casually. Nothing is more precious to her than being in the kitchen and having her kids and their friends come in and talk about their lives and what they’re thinking about. “Now that my kids are young adults, I’m still seeking ways to continue to be impactful to them,” she says. “I feel fortunate to be at this point in my life where we’re all in a good place.”

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The Power of the Word No

Guest Contributed by Janelle Bruland

Isn’t it funny that one of the most important words to say is also one of the hardest? One simple word: no.

Yet, to say it brings up a flood of feelings – guilt, defensiveness, a fear of offending. Sometimes the feelings flash by so quickly we don’t even notice what they are. We just know that we don’t want to say that one little word. Yet, the ability to say “no,” to set boundaries and build a structure that works for us, is one of the most important tools we can add to our arsenals to successfully create our best lives.

The word “no” should be one of the most important words in a leader’s vocabulary. Here are two strategies to be more productive and have space in your life for the things that matter:

1. Recognize What is Holding You Hostage

2. Break the Chains by Learning How to Say No

What is Holding You Hostage?

There is no doubt about it. It is becoming increasingly difficult to separate ourselves from the onslaught of incoming communication and ceaseless activity that seems to come along hand in hand with success. Demands on our time stack up. People who need us invite us to their meetings, ask us to sit on this committee or that board, and ask our opinions. For a minute or two we feel good about being able to help. We continue to say yes, and add just one more thing to our calendar. But then, there comes an inevitable breaking point, when we find ourselves held hostage by our own schedule. Suddenly we find ourselves overworked, overcommitted and overwhelmed.

Today, the average knowledge worker is interrupted every 10-12 minutes by some form of communication. And, during those 10-12 minutes we tend to interrupt ourselves at least twice to check email, phones, etc. If we were already headed that way, technology has added jet fuel to the journey. This barrage can derail the best laid plans and even keep us from making them in the first place.

I’ll be the first to admit that I am a leader who has struggled with creating boundaries myself, another area where we can hold ourselves hostage. After all, who doesn’t love saying yes? Who doesn’t enjoy the look of gratitude, or relief on the face of the person who has asked the favor? Besides, saying yes can at times almost be a matter of pride. With the high bar we set for ourselves and our “I can do it all” attitude, it really makes you think you could do it all.

You Can Learn to Say No

High achievers are driven and want to accomplish things, and because of that, it is easy to get caught up in doing more and more. However, if we aren’t careful, we will miss out on the very things that matter most to us. Saying yes to everything is not the path to true success. In fact, if you aren’t careful, it could become your undoing.

This realization came for me unexpectedly. I was working in my office on a project when I received a call from a good friend that I hadn’t seen in a long time. We both had very full schedules with our work and family responsibilities. “When can you get together?” she asked me. “Just a moment. Let me pull up my calendar,” I responded. I looked at the next week – nothing available. Then the following week – nothing either. The seconds became minutes as I scrolled through my calendar, finding it so jam packed that between my schedule and hers we couldn’t find a time to get together for two months. Two months! After some juggling we finally nailed down a time, and laughed together about how ridiculously busy we both were.

Such a simple story, and a big realization. I had said yes to so many things, that I didn’t have time for something I really wanted to do. What a tragedy it would be to get so caught up in saying yes to everything that comes along, that without knowing it you take away precious time from your most important priorities. Yet this happens so easily that oftentimes we don’t even notice. Can you relate to this?

Let’s face it: there is only so much time in a day. We all have the same 24 hours– it is up to us to be intentional in how we use them. Part of this intentionality is learning how to say no. I have adopted the discipline in my own life to eliminate unnecessary tasks and narrow down my “to do” list to my top priorities. Saying no doesn’t mean you don’t care. Saying no doesn’t mean you are not capable and able to help. It simply means you can’t help right now and still do all the things you have already committed to.

To have the successful life you desire, you must be disciplined to say “no” more than you say “yes.” Prioritize. Figure out what really matters. Then build your life and schedule around those things and those things only.

What do you need to say “no” to?

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Janelle Bruland is an entrepreneur, author, speaker, and high-performance coach who inspires others to live impactful and successful lives. She is Founder and CEO of Management Services Northwest, a company she started in her living room in 1995 and has grown into an industry leading company, named one of the Fastest Growing Private Companies by Inc. magazine. The CPO of Microsoft, Mike Simms, describes her as a true pioneer in her field. Janelle is also the Co-Founder of Legacy Leader, a leadership development company that teaches business professionals how to build a legacy, transform their leadership, and love their life. She is the author of The Success Lie: 5 Simple Truths to Overcome Overwhelm and Achieve Peace of Mind.

The opinions and views expressed by guest contributors are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of theglasshammer.com

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Op-Ed: Staking Your Leadership Claim in a Traditionally Male Profession

female leaders

Guest Contributed by Kathleen Kuhn

It’s time to drop the “female” qualifier and see yourself just as a leader.

There’s been a huge push for gender equality in the workplace in recent decades, and no one can argue that, overall, female leaders have greater representation and visibility today than ever before. As of 2018, 40% of all businesses in the U.S. were owned by women, including 1 in 5 firms that earn over $1M in revenue. In the last 20 years, the number of women CEOs at Fortune 500 companies has risen from just two (1999) to a record-high of 33 (2019).

This is certainly positive news, but it’s only one small slice of the larger picture. Things look a bit bleaker when you zoom in on industries that are traditionally male-heavy, such as construction, trucking, and any of the STEM (science, technology, engineering, mathematics) fields.

According to research by Catalyst, just 6.6% of American women work full-time in occupations that have 75% or more male representation – and with so few women in these professions overall, it’s understandable that female leaders might find it challenging to command respect.

Gender as a leadership qualifier: Why do we care if a leader is female?

Much research has been done on the differences between male and female leadership styles, and the results are often complicated. The American Psychological Association says that all things being equal, men and women are equally effective as leaders, with the caveat that “all things rarely are equal.”

Contributing to this inequality are some persistent perceptions and stereotypes that make women less likely to be seen as leaders. A University of Buffalo study found that conventionally masculine traits, like confidence, assertiveness, and dominance, beat out “feminine” traits, such as cooperativeness, nurturing, sensitivity, and concern for others, in terms of who was viewed as a “leader.”

This, perhaps, explains why women leaders in male-heavy industries have felt like they needed to act like men to be successful and get ahead. Unfortunately, doing so only serves to normalize the existing gender gaps and stereotypes.

On the flip side, other women subscribe to Sheryl Sandberg’s now-famous “Lean In” mantra, which encourages women to take charge of their careers and fight gender inequality by boosting their own skills and confidence. This solution is only marginally better than “acting like a man:” As the Harvard Business Review notes, the idea of leaning in puts the onus of change entirely in the hands of women, when in reality, all genders must contribute to the systemic and societal shifts that will ultimately balance the scales.

How to stake your claim as a leader

So what’s the answer, then? We can start by not focusing so intently on a leader’s gender and instead focus on how effective they are at leading their companies.

Yes, it can be intimidating to be the only woman in a room full of men if you allow it to be. It’s not uncommon for women to think about how those men might be judging and underestimating you because of your gender. But the truth is, the gender mix in a meeting, on a team, or in an entire industry is irrelevant if not beneficial. Your gender is irrelevant; what matters is your performance and your contribution to the overall business and its culture.

As a female executive or senior leader working in a traditionally male profession, here are a few things you can do to focus on good leadership without a gender qualifier.

1. Show your people you care about them

Human beings are social creatures. We need support and recognition from our team to thrive. A report by the Society for Human Resource Management cited some of the benefits of a more caring, human-focused workplaces, including better employee performance, improved safety and health, and greater worker satisfaction and commitment. So, ask people how they’re doing. Get to know them as individuals who have personal lives outside of their jobs. While you’re in the workplace together, acknowledge their accomplishments and express your appreciation for their contributions to the company.

2. Listen to criticism (but don’t take it personally)

Being a leader means you’re going to make some difficult and unpopular decisions. It’s not possible to please everyone on your team, and at some point, you’ll be on the receiving end of negative feedback about your leadership style.

It’s important not to take these things personally, but instead, listen to the criticism and work with your team to find a solution. Research from the University of Bath and the University of Oklahoma found that leaders who respond to intense criticism with a collaborative strategy tend to retain follower support and achieve better outcomes than those who respond by avoiding the issue or diverting attention elsewhere.

3. Stop defining yourself as a female leader

There’s nothing wrong with taking pride in your femininity or celebrating your unique perspective and experiences as a woman. But calling attention to gender differences in your leadership style may ultimately perpetuate existing and perceived gaps between men and women in the workplace. Try to avoid focusing on the gender count in the meeting and simply show up as a competent executive.

The bottom line? When women confidently present themselves simply as leaders, rather than female leaders, it’s easier for everyone else to see them that way, too.

About the Author

Kathleen Kuhn is President and CEO of HouseMaster and PatchMaster, two franchise brands in the home services industry with locations across North America. As head of HouseMaster, the original home inspection franchise, Kathleen oversees an organization with more than 320 franchise locations across the U.S. and Canada. And as the CEO of PatchMaster, Kathleen leads a new, fast growing drywall repair specialty concept with 19 franchises signed in 46 territories with 10 franchises opened and operating.

The opinions and views expressed by guest contributors are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of theglasshammer.com

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Voice of Experience: Mara Glaser McCahan, Partner, Katten

Mara Glaser McCahan“I would have saved myself a lot of angst if I had known earlier in my career that everyone has their own style, and I don’t have to mimic others to be successful,” says Katten Corporate Partner Mara Glaser McCahan.

For a number of years, she tried to imitate the style of successful people who surrounded her, but she realized that it wasn’t working because she wasn’t being genuine. “Once I was able to hone in on my own style and trust that my style, although different, was every bit as good as others’, I was not only more comfortable, but more successful.”

A Career Path Forged From the Start

As Glaser McCahan puts it, she was that person who always knew what she wanted to be—a corporate lawyer—even proclaiming that to her high school newspaper as her post-senior year plans. And her career as a transactional lawyer has not disappointed. She terms her path as “fairly straightforward,” having dabbled in litigation and regulatory work as a summer associate but finding her right fit during her initial corporate assignment.

Of course, since she has been practicing for more than 20 years, the path itself has taken lots of turns. For example, the types of deals that she has handled have varied greatly, depending on the fluctuations in the economy. She first began practicing in the “go-go” days of the late 1990s, when money flowed fast and furious into startups, and companies went public on projected future earnings.

Then came the tech bust, and while those transactions stopped, different deals emerged—such as distressed deals, bankruptcy deals, bridge financings and other types of transactions where someone saw an opportunity in the fallout. While the twists can be challenging, Glaser McCahan believes that is what has made her career interesting. “While many of the basic principles are applied over and over, no deal is ever the same, which makes my job enjoyable and intellectually engaging,” she says.

Being a transactional lawyer requires the ability to adapt—to different types of deals, changing market conditions, different structures and more. “You learn from every change by absorbing it and applying it to future situations, which ultimately makes you a stronger lawyer with increased wisdom and better insight to advise your client,” Glaser McCahan says. And, she adds, this experience is what makes you valuable to clients. After all, a lawyer closes many deals in any given year, while the client may only do a deal every few years so they look to their legal team for guidance.

Given that depth of experience, having to choose a professional accomplishment she’s most proud of feels to Glaser McCahan like being a parent choosing a favorite child. “Every deal requires a lot of effort, and I throw myself fully into each one, with its accompanying unique set of circumstances that require creative solutions to get them across the finish line.” In addition, she notes, transactions require coordination and teamwork to keep moving toward a common purpose, both with the client and with the internal team. “Whenever a deal I’m working on closes, it is a feeling of accomplishment that through teamwork you were able to successfully help your client achieve a goal.” But basking in the high is short-lived, as Glaser McCahan then looks forward to doing it all over again with a new deal.

Helping Bring Others Along Is a Two-Way Street

Glaser McCahan recommends that young women take ownership of their own career; rather than sitting around passively and waiting for someone to take interest in shaping their trajectory, she urges them to ask questions, show interest, request help when needed and ask to be staffed on various assignments if they desire to work with a particular senior associate, partner or client.

“The answer may not always be ‘yes,’ but if you don’t ask, you won’t get what you want,” she points out. And, even if the initial answer is “no,” it’s a way to put yourself on their radar to hopefully have your request met later. For that reason, she says it’s okay to be aggressive, while never obnoxious, of course. “I think that folks are always interested in helping others who have demonstrated that they care and are willing to put in extra effort.”

And then the onus is on professionals at upper levels to make the effort to assist those who are just starting out in their careers. She recommends thinking back to your early career, as everyone can describe instances where someone helped—by taking an interest in their career through mentoring, providing useful advice or staffing them on an important transaction or case with an important client.

The need is particularly great for women. Despite the immense strides that have been made in many traditional practices, there is still a long way to go. Glaser McCahan remembers being the only female attorney in the corporate group when she was hired 20 years ago; even though more women are choosing to practice law in areas that have been traditionally male, such as corporate, real estate and finance, the numbers remain small. And they get even smaller when you consider the number of women who choose to continue to stay on the partner track and who actually make partner. “Despite the fact that women graduates outpace men, the business professionals sitting around deal tables generally tend to be all men. Even 20 years later, I am almost always the only woman; we have to do better to get women more seats at that table.”

And that can happen by being that person who helps create a career-changing opportunity, Glaser McCahan says, acknowledging that it’s easy to get wrapped up in your own career and busy schedule, and thus forget to pause and give a helping hand. “But even the smallest act can have a profound impact and we should strive to give back.”

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