Micro-messages: Managing Small But Powerful Communication
A slight raising of the eyebrows expressing doubt, a subtle gesture which others may not necessarily have noticed but you have, and you start to doubt your ability to contribute to group discussions effectively. It happens again and again, eroding your self-esteem and increasing the feeling of alienation: Micro-messages.
Mary Rowe first wrote about this in 1972, defining such gestures that highlight differences between individuals as micro-inequities: “apparently small events which are often ephemeral and hard-to-prove, events which are covert, often unintentional, frequently unrecognized by the perpetrator, which occur wherever people are perceived to be ‘different.’” What Rowe found was that these “small events” – which are not necessarily intentional and include inattentiveness, exclusionary comments and posture – contribute to segregation in institutions such as universities and corporate organisations. The gestures are a powerful form of communication, which can have either a positive or negative impact on the recipients of the message. Based on research conducted in the 1980s and 1990s by Sandler and Hall across universities, the groups most vulnerable to the negative effects of micro-messages and a “chilly campus” are ethnic minorities and women. “In fact, subtle and/or inadvertent incidents can sometimes do the most damage because they often occur without the full awareness of those involved.”
You might think that these references are fairly outdated, and you might also assume that we have made some progress in addressing the inequities associated with micro-messages. This would be true to an extent, but according to a recent article on Psychology Today micro-inequities still exist in today’s workplaces. Checking emails or texting during face to face conversations, consistently ignoring emails with no valid reason, making jokes aimed at certain minority groups – these are the more explicit forms of micro-inequities which exist today and should have been the easiest to address. Sheryl Sandberg’s 2013 HBR interview highlighted the more implicit and damaging forms of micro-messaging: taking more questions from men than women and interrupting women more often than men. Sandler and Hall also found that expressing surprise and/or doubt about a female colleague’s career aspirations, a subtle micro-message, contributed to this downsizing of goals.
To develop an approach to managing our micro-messages, we need to have an understanding of how we develop them in the first place. NAPE (National Alliance of Partnership Equity) developed the Culture Wheel, which effectively demonstrates how cultural stereotypes lead to biases, which manifest themselves in micro-messages, which in turn lead to an accumulation of disadvantages, then self-efficacy, and finally are exhibited in behaviour.
Trying to address explicit biases at work is challenging enough. How do we then go about addressing small manifestations of bias that are developed before our careers and are often so small it is a challenge to identify?
Acknowledgment is Critical
Encouraging behaviours at work that avoid open discussion or acknowledgment of differences only feeds micro-inequities. To better manage the micro-messages we exhibit at work, we all need to appreciate that we work in diverse organisations and work to address any prejudices we may have about gender (and any other form of diversity). Acknowledgment is the first step on this journey.
Deloitte, featured on the 2009 Working Mother’s “Best Companies for Multicultural Women” list, developed a programme that encourages employees to actively recognise and discuss biases, the root to micro-messages. One such programme requires participants to write life stories for each of the 30 individuals presented to them, based on photographs alone. Allen Thomas, a Managing Partner in one of Deloitte’s US offices, told Working Mother that “people build their stories around hidden biases, and quite often the story is very wrong.” By reviewing the biases reflected in the stories, employees are able to ask fundamental questions about how they perceive and react to others and address specific issues accordingly.
As more women become decision-makers and check-signers, micro-messages can have a direct impact on revenue. Nicki Gilmour, CEO of this platform shared her story. “Before I founded theglasshammer.com, I ran the US arm of a UK company. I found it interesting that when we were looking for office space the male real estate broker kept talking to my male peer who ran the sister company and a team of two, as opposed to my team of 32 that was ten times as profitable. In the end, I turned to the broker and informed him that he hadn’t looked at me or addressed me once and as the check signer I was going to find a new broker. You should have seen the look on his face!” While that was a negative experience, it motivated Nicki to start The Glass Hammer and Evolved Employer, a sister firm that also consults on such issues, bringing them to the top of the agenda.
The potential of micro-messages to shape relationships is significant. We all need to acknowledge our differences, celebrate them, and also look hard at our micro-messages to ensure they are not contradictory. We, as individuals, essentially need to become more aware and encourage others too by pointing out micro-inequities.
Micro-affirmations instead of micro-inequities
Unlike micro-inequities, Rowe also found that there were some gestures that positively impacted those involved; she termed these micro-affirmations. “Micro-affirmations are tiny acts of opening doors to opportunity, gestures of inclusion and caring, and graceful acts of listening.” The power of micro-affirmations should not be underestimated. By simply asking the opinion of your female colleague in a group discussion, providing clear developmental feedback and/or providing support during times of distress, you can exhibit micro-affirmations that raise your colleague’s self-esteem and self-efficacy.
The most appealing trait of micro-affirmations is that they tend to spread; if a colleague sees you exhibiting micro-affirmations, they too will exhibit similar micro-messages when they engage with other colleagues.
Micro-messages matter just as much pre-career and post-COB
To address biases and micro-messages just in the workplace would be a mistake. Biases form long before we begin our careers and their manifestations – the unwelcome comment, the exclusionary posture – are simply the result of unfiltered and uncontrolled prejudices. Attempting to address these deep-rooted beliefs when individuals have already started their careers and are in the workplace is a little too late.
Following the 2010 report by the AAUW, which highlighted the importance of micro-affirmations in shaping STEM (Science Technology Engineering Mathematics) female students’ self-esteem and career aspirations, NAPE launched the Micromessaging programme in 2012 with STEM faculty at the Community College of Baltimore County (Maryland). The purpose of the programme, which involved training faculty members, was to “change the classroom climate” and initial results have been positive, indicating increased awareness of career opportunities and increased retention rates.
Organisations can support pre-career micro-messaging through recruitment efforts to ensure they are sending the right messages that will help shape the talent pipeline. Additionally, once women enter the workforce, we need to continue with the effort. Sandler and Hall highlighted that micro-messages outside formal working hours are just as important as those micro-messages exhibited during working hours. Outside formal environments, they observed more leeway for differential treatment resulting in higher levels of segregation (gender and ethnicity).
Positive micro-messages need to be part of our DNA, as individuals and organisations. Exhibiting micro-affirmations during the working day, and then contradicting ourselves with micro-inequities at after-work drinks is not authentic. Just as every small gesture can have a big impact, so can you as an individual. Challenge yourself to be more conscious of your micro-messages and do not hesitate to point out the negative and positive micro-messages of others. Your organisations can raise awareness but it’s up to you to actively spread the message.
By Nneka Orji
