In the past couple of years, there has been great emphasis on women being more confident in order to become more leaderlike so that they can be promoted to leadership positions. The ugly side of having confidence is being overly entitled and having narcissist tendencies, and this is something that is rarely discussed while looking at leaders of both genders. Are you or is your boss a narcissist?

It turns out that in general men are more narcissistic than women, according to a meta-analysis of 475,000 participants across three decades, which generated headlines running the gamut from The Huffington Post to Science Daily to The Daily Mail, and it did. As The Washington Post responded, “This surprises no one.”

But this isn’t about a battle of the sexes. With findings in hand, researcher Emily Grijalva, PhD, from the University of Buffalo School of Management and her co-authors crack open bigger questions about how our culture shapes people, shapes leadership, shapes outcomes. And how gender-disparate outcomes – playing out in your office and perhaps your career – reinforce the gender stereotypes creating them.

What makes you a narcissist?

The study that was published in the journal Psychological Bulletin, examined over 350 journal articles, dissertations, manuscripts and technical manuals and analysed gender differences in three facets of narcissism across nearly half a million people and age groups. The researchers examined responses to statements designed to identify individual levels of each of these three aspects.

• Entitlement/Exploitation (E/E) is the most maladaptive facet, correlated with negative behaviors and outcomes such as aggression and manipulation.
• Illustrative questions: “I insist upon getting the respect that is due to me” and “I find it easy to manipulate people.”
• Leadership/authority (L/A) – is the most adapative facet and reflects motivation for authority and desire for power.
• Illustrative questions: “I would prefer to be a leader” and, “I like having authority over people.”
• Grandiosity/Exhibitionism (G/E) – is tendencies of vanity, self-absorption, exhibitionism, and superiority.
• Illustrative questions: “I really like to be the center of attention” and “I know that I am good because everybody keeps telling me so.”

Grijalva notes that because narcissism is associated with outcomes, examining gender differences in narcissism may help to explain gender disparity when it comes to women in leadership positions in Corporate America.

A little bit of Narcissism can help you in your career

“I think it’s best characterized by a grandiose sense of self-importance, believing you are more important and special than other people and being less empathetic to others,” author Grijalva says of narcissism in a video interview.

While it would be widely agreed that narcissism is not an attractive aspect of the human condition – cross-cultural fables after all tend to emphasize the perils- it still nets some positive individual outcomes.In fact, healthy or adaptive narcissism – the right aspects in the “right degree” – relate to positive well-being, confidence, self-sufficiency and even parenting.

“Narcissism is associated with various interpersonal dysfunctions, including an inability to maintain healthy long-term relationships, unethical behavior and aggression,” said author Grijalva.

“At the same time, narcissism is shown to boost self-esteem, emotional stability and the tendency to emerge as a leader.” She also points out that it’s associated with making a strong first impression and being perceived as charismatic.

The study found that men, across generations and regardless of age, consistently scored measurably higher than women in the first two categories of narcissism.

The widest gender gap was in the maladaptive facet of entitlement and exploitation.

According to the researchers,on average men, but of course not every man, are more likely to feel entitled to special privileges and be willing to exploit others to advance self-interest.

This is interesting since research has demonstrated that one impact of having women present on corporate boards is higher ethical and social compliance.

The second largest gap was in leadership and authority, where the researchers assert men demonstrated greater assertiveness and desire for power (for its sake) than women.

But when it came to grandiosity and exhibitionism, or traits like vanity and self-absorption, there was no gap between genders.

Messaging from a young age and the impact on stereotypes

Pulling on previous research, the study speculates the narcissism gap may be reflective of both biological and social differences, ingrained and self-fulfilling gender stereotypes. This means narcissism could be encouraged and developed in males, or punished and suppressed in females, through gender conditioning.

The researchers suggest societal “agentic” definitions of masculinity overlap with narcissism and societal “communal” definitions of femininity exclude it.

“Individuals tend to observe and learn gender roles from a young age, and may face backlash for deviating from society’s expectations,” Grijalva says. “In particular, women often receive harsh criticism for being aggressive or authoritative, which creates pressure for women, more so than for men, to suppress displays of narcissistic behavior.”

The researchers suggest it’s more socially acceptable for men to display “agentic characteristics” such as dominance and assertiveness, which reinforces more narcissistic personality tendencies, and also means they emerge as leaders.

This gender-disparate outcome self-perpetuates: men keep emerging as leaders, leadership traits continue to be male-associated, and more women continue to suppress their “agentic” sides to conform to gender expectations and avoid cultural backlash.

Society keeps looking at its face in the mirror, and seeing the same reflection.

Interestingly, the study also looked at college students from 1990-2013 and found no evidence that neither men nor women had become more or less narcissistic with time, letting the Millennial generation off the hook in this particular study- despite the rise in “selfies”.