Contributed by Monica Mazzei, Family Law Partner at Sideman & Bancroft
There’s plenty of talk separately about relationships and personal finance, but very little practical knowledge on integrating the two. The headlines are grim. “Over 40% of marriages end in divorce.” “Money is the most common cause of arguments.” Clearly, there’s a need for more education! There are some fundamental “rules” that will help you avoid the financial pitfalls many couples fall victim to.
Rule #1: Talk about Finances with Your Partner Before You Get Married.
This may sound simple, but very few couples actually do this. It’s important to know the other person’s attitudes about money, what debt they may have and how it should be paid off during marriage, and what assets both people are bringing into the marriage. One pre-marriage counseling group had couples exchange credit reports during the first class… and many were shocked to learn about their fiancés credit card debt or the amount of their student loans. This tactic may have been extreme, but it forced couples to have this discussion before they got married. “Financial secrets” can be deadly to a marriage.
You also want to consider whether a pre-marital agreement is right for you. Many think that pre-marital agreements are only for the rich and famous, but that is not the case. A pre-marital agreement allows couples to decide how to treat assets, debts, and income during marriage, upon a divorce or upon the death of one another. A premarital agreement provides a couple with a customized financial road map, but perhaps more importantly, it forces couples to discuss their views about money and financial expectations before they get married. With the average age of couples marrying for the first time on the rise, and more and more women out-earning the men in their field, many women are coming into the marriage with assets (such as a home and retirement or investment accounts) and shouldn’t feel guilty about wanting to maintain those assets as their own.
Rule #2: Think of You and Your Spouse as Co-CFOs.
During marriage it’s important that you think of your family as a business and you and your spouse as Co-CFOs. Even if one person is better at handling the family finances, both people should be kept in the know about the finances and participate in major financial decisions. This can be easily accomplished by creating a family balance sheet, periodically updating it and taking the time to discuss it together. Couples who are effective communicators about money schedule weekly or monthly family meetings to discuss the status of the family finances. Some couples find it helpful to work with a financial planner and schedule annual or quarterly meetings to discuss the family finances and goals for the upcoming year. Hopefully, these tips will keep your marriage from falling within the 40% of those that end in divorce. However, if you find yourself starting the divorce process, having knowledge of the assets and debts (located on the family balance sheet) will make the process easier.
Rule #3: Keep One Foot in the Door.
Many women decide once they have children to focus on family and not work outside the home. Raising children is an important, tireless, and often under-appreciated job(!) – however, many women make the mistake of taking themselves out of the game completely only to find themselves in a position where they have to re-enter the workforce due to divorce, death of a spouse, or their spouse losing a job. Spousal support or alimony isn’t what it used to be. Women are more educated and have more career opportunities than they did twenty years ago. Generally, courts consider spousal support as rehabilitative, which means that typically the supported spouse will be expected to return to work and become self-supporting.
There are fairly easy things women can do to retain marketability when they no longer work outside the home such as volunteer work in their industry or field or keeping in touch with their business contacts – this can be as easy as sending out a holiday card or meeting a prior colleagues for lunch once a month.
Many people think that the number one cause of divorce is infidelity, but it’s actually money or finances. It’s amazing how much time and money are devoted to the “wedding day” and how little thought is given to a couple’s financial future. Thoughtful planning and educated decisions about money made before marriage provide a clear roadmap of a couple’s financial future. Although not very romantic, having open and frequent dialogues about money can alleviate the financial stress which is so often the cause of divorce.
Monica Mazzei is a Family Law Partner at Sideman & Bancroft in San Francisco, CA, where she specializes in dissolution actions involving complicated valuation and financial matters and complex community property and support issues.
Crying in the Office: OK or No Way?
Office PoliticsA recent Bloomberg article by writer Anne Kreamer is proving to be quite controversial. In “Tears for Peers Are Newly OK in Modern Workplace,” Kreamer contends that women have distinctly female parts—their essential femininity, their nurturing impulses, and aspects of their intrinsic emotional biology, such as crying. According to Kreamer, these things are not socially-conditioned, but rather “neurobiologically hard-wired.”
While researching her latest book, Kreamer discovered that 41 percent of women and 9 percent of men reported that they had cried in the workplace during the past year. “This finding conforms to the national gender split that neurologists have found. Women, who produce higher levels of prolactin, the hormone that controls tear production, cry on average 5.3 times a month, compared with 1.4 times for men,” Kreamer wrote. “Women’s tear ducts are also anatomically different from men’s — they are smaller, which means that when women cry, tears tend to spill out and down their faces, whereas when men cry, their tears merely well up.”
She concludes by writing that tears at work aren’t necessarily a moral failing or a sign of weakness. While that may be true, claims of tears not being socially-conditioned are not only biased, but dangerous. Here’s why.
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Voice of Experience: Carole Berndt, Head of Global Treasury Solutions, EMEA, Bank of America Merrill Lynch
Voices of ExperienceAt an early stage in her career, Carole Berndt, winner of the 2011 Women in Banking and Finance’s Award for Achievement, stood on a mountain in Hong Kong and was asked to quote on the risk element of turning the side of the mountain into an airport. She duly quoted, the site was purchased and developed and is now Hong Kong’s Chep Lak Kok international airport – a story which reflects Berndt’s geographically diverse career, first in insurance and now in banking.
“I was born in the UK and in 1970 my family moved to Australia; I grew up in Sydney and went to university there. My first job was as a book keeper with an insurance company – subsequently purchased by Allianz – and they invested in me. I did accounting, then computer science, then an MBA in international business. I led the very early efforts in the e-commerce space in the 1990s for the company’s Asia region and spent considerable time in Singapore and Indonesia.
“Around the late 1990s, I became known in my company as the “grandmother of the internet” – that’s when I knew I’d become part of the furniture and life had become too easy. I was offered and took a role with Citi in Hong Kong running the project office for their e-business unit, which then become known as Global Transaction Services.”
Berndt stayed for eight years, leading the client delivery services team before moving to New York following her promotion to global head of client delivery. She was then approached by Bank of America Merrill Lynch, so with a great opportunity on offer, she relocated to London in 2010 into her current role of head of global treasury solutions for Europe, the Middle East and Africa.
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Are you an Iron Butterfly? And why would you want to be one?
Expert AnswersAfter writing the book, The Soul at Work: Engaging Complexity Science for Business Success, with science writer Roger Lewin, I realized that the great majority of the very successful, complexity-science oriented leaders we interviewed were men. Their leadership style shared an unusual attribute: a dynamic balance of traditionally feminine and masculine skills and values. They focused on relationships as the core of their management model, and argued that this would lead to healthy bottom line numbers. It did. One leader we interviewed had Maslow’s pyramid on his desk, except that at the bottom of the pyramid were “relationships,” rather than need. I wondered how the interplay between feminine and masculine skills might look like in women leaders.
I ended up interviewing sixty successful women from eight countries, and from many walks of life. They included: a Noble Peace Prize laureate, a famous novelist, a federal judge, lawyers, CEOs, entrepreneurs, artists, CFO, doctors, nurses, educators, and even a wine maker in Tuscany. What, I wondered, would I find in common in these women across this great sea of diversity?
I discovered four traits: paradoxical ways, “gatherers” of community, holistic thinking, relational intelligence.
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New Report Sheds Light on Canada’s Glass Ceiling
Managing ChangeA new report from the Conference Board of Canada, an independent non-profit applied research organization, has found that the percentage of Canadian women in senior management positions has changed very little and that men are two to three times as likely to hold a senior executive position. Ruth Wright, the Conference Board of Canada’s associate director of leadership and human resources research, oversaw the report Women in Senior Management: Where Are They? And, she said, many were shocked by its findings.
The few women who rise to senior levels often attract substantial media attention, which may give readers the false impression that barriers to women’s advancement are a thing of the past.
“People were very surprised by the findings. I think many assumed that there would have been significant shifts since our original study, Closing the Gap, 14 years ago. This is an example of why this type of research is so important – it starts the conversation that gets people wondering what the problem is and hopefully, this leads to enlightened management,” Wright said.
The Conference Board of Canada based its findings on data spanning two decades, from 1987 to 2009, which revealed that the presence of Canadian women in senior management positions flatlined during that time, despite a major bump in the number of women in the workforce. As of 2009, 48 percent of Canada’s workforce is comprised of women, yet only 0.32 percent (26,000 of more than 8 million working women) held senior management positions. While the absolute number of women in senior management rose from less than 15,000 in 1987, females are still significantly underrepresented at the senior executive level compared to males.
The report found similar results at the middle-management levels – which includes directors and managers – that frequently provide the feeder pool for future executives. Men have consistently been 1.5 times more likely than women to hold middle management positions over the past 22 years. In 2009, 911,000 men were working in middle management positions (over 10 percent of all men employed), compared to 543,000 women (7 percent of all women employed).
Anne Golden, The Conference Board of Canada’s president and chief executive officer, pointed out that between 1987 and 2009, the proportion of women in middle management rose by about 4 percent. “At that rate, it will take approximately 151 years before the proportion of men and women at the management level is equal,” Golden wrote on the Board’s site.
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What Happens If Your Sponsor Leaves the Company?
Mentors and SponsorsThe past few weeks have seen a spate of high profile departures from top companies, as senior leaders have left big jobs for greener pastures (or perhaps under less ideal circumstances). In an economic environment like this, where budgets are being cut regularly and everyone is doing more with less, job security is top of mind. Even high performing individuals need to be sure they have access to the unseen network of power within their organization, to have a sponsor advocating for them behind the scenes.
Late last year, Catalyst published groundbreaking research on the subject, explaining how sponsorship is key to narrowing the gender pay gap. Shortly thereafter, the Center for Work Life Policy followed suit, with research showing how sponsorship can help keep women in the pipeline to the top, and clarifying the two-way relationship between a sponsor and a protege.
In the months following, we’ve published advice on why you need a sponsor, how to find a sponsor, how to be a sponsor – you might call 2011 the year of the sponsor. But one question remains – what if you lose your sponsor?
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10 Ways to Take Control of Your Job Search!
Expert AnswersSome clients who first come to me for help after a long and frustrating search attribute their difficulties to something they can’t control, such as age, experience (i.e. over- or under-qualified), weight, ethnic background, gender or, less often, some other physical feature. Yes, these biases do surface at times in the job search. But, once these clients start describing their search in more detail, nine times out of ten, I see that the problem is actually in their job-search strategy or execution!
So, if you have that “out of control” feeling, here’s a checklist of 10 things to make sure you are doing, to help you get back into the driver’s seat, and on the road to the job you want.
1. Are you “positioning” yourself correctly? That is, are you focusing on how you can help your target audience? This means dropping the jargon that is only relevant to your current or last job, and using the language of your next.
2. Are you too general, or trying to be all things to all people? This strategy can be tempting because this way you don’t rule anything out. The problem with the too general approach, however, is that people are not going to take the time to figure out how you can help them. Or, they will put you in a place you don’t want to be! Having a specific resume and pitch for each job target is the way to go.
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Five Secrets to Successful Rainmaking
NewsLast week, the National Association for Female Executives (NAFE) and Flex-Time Lawyers honored the fifty best law firms for female lawyers. And while the competition was fierce, according to Deborah Epstein Henry, Founder and President, Flex-Time Lawyers and author of Law & Reorder, the legal profession still has a lot more work to do.
She said, “Our data has shown that the partnership structure has an impact on women’s success in terms of how senior they get in law firms. In firms with a one-tier structure – with just an equity partnership track – women were promoted at higher rates. The trend is moving away from the one-tier structure, and this is negatively impacting women.”
But it’s not all bad news, Henry continued. Firms are recognizing the value of flex and technology. “There is an increased recognition of the ability to work differently and use technology without negatively impacting the bottom line.”
Yet, she continued, while the policies are in place, the firm-wide culture may not fully support flex. “When you look at the usage rates, the proof is in the pudding about whether the policy is viable. A tremendous stigma still surrounds working flexibly or on a reduced hours schedule. The policies have to be gender neutral and reason-neutral, and not just about child-care.”
With a mixed environment for women in the legal profession, women need to be sure they are performing their best to get to the top, she said, and one way to do that is to bring in new clients. Henry continued, “Rainmaking is so important. It is your measure of how you will be compensated and how powerful you will be.”
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Professional Women are Key to Development in Emerging Markets
NewsLast week the World Bank released its latest research on women in developing countries. The report “The World Development Report 2012: Gender Equality and Development,” revealed that while gender equality is making progress across the globe, there are still many gaps.
And while gender equality in itself is a core objective of the organization, it is also important because of the economic growth and stability that gender equality facilitates. In his forward to the report, World Bank President Robert Zoellick explains, “But greater gender equality is also smart economics, enhancing productivity and improving other development outcomes, including prospects for the next generation and for the quality of societal policies and institutions.”
The study raises important questions about the world’s women – like “why are there 3.9 million excess female deaths each year?” and it points out that women earn less than men everywhere. But it is important to remember that all women in developing areas are not victims.
Research by the Center for Work-Life Policy on women in emerging markets points out that while many women in developing countries must contend with tremendous challenges, there are also many women in these regions who are powerful and ambitious – even more ambitious, the organization says, than their western counterparts.
CWLP Founder and President Sylvia Ann Hewlett remarked last week at an event at the New York Stock Exchange, “The dominant narrative for many years has been a narrative of victimhood. But it is not the only narrative. There is also a tremendous narrative of empowerment and success.”
These women are not victims of poverty or exploitation – and in fact, they may be one part of the solution to the abuses that many women in these areas face. When women are viewed as key economic drivers, explain both the World Bank and the CWLP, they get more rights and have a better standard of living. The countries in which they live and work get an economic boost as well. After all, more high performing talent means more productivity.
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Voice of Experience: Jennifer Christie, Chief Diversity Officer and VP, Global Executive, American Express
Voices of Experience“Right now is a very exciting time for the Diversity and Inclusion team at American Express,” said Jennifer Christie, Chief Diversity Officer and VP, Global Executive at American Express.
Christie is leading the company’s global diversity team on putting together its next three-year strategy. She said, “We’re taking the diversity and inclusion work that was done here, which was really transformational, and taking it to the next level.”
“This company and culture allows you to dream big – and we are,” she added.
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What Every Woman Should Know about Finances and Marriage
Expert AnswersThere’s plenty of talk separately about relationships and personal finance, but very little practical knowledge on integrating the two. The headlines are grim. “Over 40% of marriages end in divorce.” “Money is the most common cause of arguments.” Clearly, there’s a need for more education! There are some fundamental “rules” that will help you avoid the financial pitfalls many couples fall victim to.
Rule #1: Talk about Finances with Your Partner Before You Get Married.
This may sound simple, but very few couples actually do this. It’s important to know the other person’s attitudes about money, what debt they may have and how it should be paid off during marriage, and what assets both people are bringing into the marriage. One pre-marriage counseling group had couples exchange credit reports during the first class… and many were shocked to learn about their fiancés credit card debt or the amount of their student loans. This tactic may have been extreme, but it forced couples to have this discussion before they got married. “Financial secrets” can be deadly to a marriage.
You also want to consider whether a pre-marital agreement is right for you. Many think that pre-marital agreements are only for the rich and famous, but that is not the case. A pre-marital agreement allows couples to decide how to treat assets, debts, and income during marriage, upon a divorce or upon the death of one another. A premarital agreement provides a couple with a customized financial road map, but perhaps more importantly, it forces couples to discuss their views about money and financial expectations before they get married. With the average age of couples marrying for the first time on the rise, and more and more women out-earning the men in their field, many women are coming into the marriage with assets (such as a home and retirement or investment accounts) and shouldn’t feel guilty about wanting to maintain those assets as their own.
Rule #2: Think of You and Your Spouse as Co-CFOs.
During marriage it’s important that you think of your family as a business and you and your spouse as Co-CFOs. Even if one person is better at handling the family finances, both people should be kept in the know about the finances and participate in major financial decisions. This can be easily accomplished by creating a family balance sheet, periodically updating it and taking the time to discuss it together. Couples who are effective communicators about money schedule weekly or monthly family meetings to discuss the status of the family finances. Some couples find it helpful to work with a financial planner and schedule annual or quarterly meetings to discuss the family finances and goals for the upcoming year. Hopefully, these tips will keep your marriage from falling within the 40% of those that end in divorce. However, if you find yourself starting the divorce process, having knowledge of the assets and debts (located on the family balance sheet) will make the process easier.
Rule #3: Keep One Foot in the Door.
Many women decide once they have children to focus on family and not work outside the home. Raising children is an important, tireless, and often under-appreciated job(!) – however, many women make the mistake of taking themselves out of the game completely only to find themselves in a position where they have to re-enter the workforce due to divorce, death of a spouse, or their spouse losing a job. Spousal support or alimony isn’t what it used to be. Women are more educated and have more career opportunities than they did twenty years ago. Generally, courts consider spousal support as rehabilitative, which means that typically the supported spouse will be expected to return to work and become self-supporting.
There are fairly easy things women can do to retain marketability when they no longer work outside the home such as volunteer work in their industry or field or keeping in touch with their business contacts – this can be as easy as sending out a holiday card or meeting a prior colleagues for lunch once a month.
Many people think that the number one cause of divorce is infidelity, but it’s actually money or finances. It’s amazing how much time and money are devoted to the “wedding day” and how little thought is given to a couple’s financial future. Thoughtful planning and educated decisions about money made before marriage provide a clear roadmap of a couple’s financial future. Although not very romantic, having open and frequent dialogues about money can alleviate the financial stress which is so often the cause of divorce.
Monica Mazzei is a Family Law Partner at Sideman & Bancroft in San Francisco, CA, where she specializes in dissolution actions involving complicated valuation and financial matters and complex community property and support issues.