Contributed by CEO Coach Henna Inam
In my executive coaching practice, I come across strong and smart women leaders whose success has come from always being prepared, being “on,” proving that they are smarter and more competent than those they compete with for the next opportunity. In their effort to be perceived as strong they often have a hard time being vulnerable. This can now be the one thing that holds them back from their true leadership potential. How can vulnerability be your biggest strength?
The recent viral (three million views) Ted Talk by author Brene Brown discusses the importance of vulnerability. It got me thinking about how important vulnerability is as a leadership practice, particularly for transformational leaders. As transformational leaders our greatest source of impact is through connecting with others. Transformational leaders impact through personal influence of who they are rather than their positional power. There can only be limited impact in leadership if we have no way to connect with others beyond our transactional hierarchical positions. According to Brene Brown our ability to be vulnerable requires courage and forms the basis for our connection with others, a connection that is critical if we are to inspire others.
But first a true story. I was recently in my zumba dance class when about half-way through the class I noticed an embarrassingly large tear in my zumba pants right around the inseam of the thigh. I was aghast. What if someone else noticed? All the spontaneity and the joy of zumba was gone and I spent the vast majority of the rest of the class somewhat self-conscious, trying my best to hide the tear, and not make very many moves (something sort of counter-productive if you’re in a zumba class). Ultimately I had a “what the heck” moment and decided to just come out of the closet, so to speak. Feigning as much nonchalance as I could muster, I declared to the person dancing next to me “Look at the tear in my pants. Any idea where I can get some good zumba pants?” I had expected some kind of a reaction…horror, embarrassed laugh. I didn’t get any. It was a matter-of-factly “I got a great deal at TJMaxx.” Whew! The fear of being vulnerable was big. The act of being vulnerable felt like relief.
You’re probably wondering “What does a wardrobe malfunction during Zumba have to do with leadership?” I think it’s an interesting metaphor for how, as leaders, we are embarrassed to “bare ourselves” to others. As a leader, have you ever felt that there are parts of yourself you’ve had to check at the door when you come to work? We all have aspects of ourselves that we’re afraid to share for fear of not being accepted, so we check them at the door. We “numb” who we are to fit a mold that we believe is desirable. The hard part of this according to Brene Brown is that when we “numb ourselves” to not face this fear, it also kills off the joy and connection that we are fully capable of. This is the kind of connection that deeply engages others and creates our potential for transformational leadership.
At this point, I have a confession to make. I don’t do vulnerability well. It takes a lot of effort on my part. I have spent my entire life convincing myself and others that I’m strong, smart, and in charge. It got me high positions and stock options. Vulnerability seems like it would be the opposite. In my corporate jobs as a Region President or Chief Marketing Officer, I felt I needed to constantly prove my value to the organization by being smarter than the next person.
Vulnerability is particularly hard for women who have worked tirelessly to get to where they are, or have hidden parts of themselves to fit what they perceive as the “success mold.” So, in my effort to be strong, I made a decision to not be vulnerable, to not show too much emotion, to always be certain, to be convinced and convincing that I am right.
Here is what I have now discovered. Strength and vulnerability are not opposites. Vulnerability requires great levels of strength and courage. It is actually the next level of evolution in our strength as leaders. It requires courage to be who we are, despite our fears of not being accepted or liked. It requires that we ourselves accept the parts of ourselves that we don’t like or are ashamed of. It requires courage to talk about our failures and take accountability for them. It requires courage to admit that we are feeling uncertain or that we don’t know all the answers. All of these require an evolution within our being in order to grow from being transactional to transformational leaders.
The story goes that the first thing Indra Nooyi did after being told that she was the chosen one to take on the role of CEO of Pepsi, was to get on a plane and get to her biggest competitor for the job. She wanted to convince him to stay with Pepsi. She told him she needed him and that the company would be better with him on board. That’s showing vulnerability. It takes courage. A smaller person would have been only too glad to let their nemesis leave.
So, how do we evolve in our ability to be vulnerable? Here are some exercises to practice vulnerability.
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Why Vulnerability Can Be Your Biggest Strength
Expert AnswersIn my executive coaching practice, I come across strong and smart women leaders whose success has come from always being prepared, being “on,” proving that they are smarter and more competent than those they compete with for the next opportunity. In their effort to be perceived as strong they often have a hard time being vulnerable. This can now be the one thing that holds them back from their true leadership potential. How can vulnerability be your biggest strength?
The recent viral (three million views) Ted Talk by author Brene Brown discusses the importance of vulnerability. It got me thinking about how important vulnerability is as a leadership practice, particularly for transformational leaders. As transformational leaders our greatest source of impact is through connecting with others. Transformational leaders impact through personal influence of who they are rather than their positional power. There can only be limited impact in leadership if we have no way to connect with others beyond our transactional hierarchical positions. According to Brene Brown our ability to be vulnerable requires courage and forms the basis for our connection with others, a connection that is critical if we are to inspire others.
But first a true story. I was recently in my zumba dance class when about half-way through the class I noticed an embarrassingly large tear in my zumba pants right around the inseam of the thigh. I was aghast. What if someone else noticed? All the spontaneity and the joy of zumba was gone and I spent the vast majority of the rest of the class somewhat self-conscious, trying my best to hide the tear, and not make very many moves (something sort of counter-productive if you’re in a zumba class). Ultimately I had a “what the heck” moment and decided to just come out of the closet, so to speak. Feigning as much nonchalance as I could muster, I declared to the person dancing next to me “Look at the tear in my pants. Any idea where I can get some good zumba pants?” I had expected some kind of a reaction…horror, embarrassed laugh. I didn’t get any. It was a matter-of-factly “I got a great deal at TJMaxx.” Whew! The fear of being vulnerable was big. The act of being vulnerable felt like relief.
You’re probably wondering “What does a wardrobe malfunction during Zumba have to do with leadership?” I think it’s an interesting metaphor for how, as leaders, we are embarrassed to “bare ourselves” to others. As a leader, have you ever felt that there are parts of yourself you’ve had to check at the door when you come to work? We all have aspects of ourselves that we’re afraid to share for fear of not being accepted, so we check them at the door. We “numb” who we are to fit a mold that we believe is desirable. The hard part of this according to Brene Brown is that when we “numb ourselves” to not face this fear, it also kills off the joy and connection that we are fully capable of. This is the kind of connection that deeply engages others and creates our potential for transformational leadership.
At this point, I have a confession to make. I don’t do vulnerability well. It takes a lot of effort on my part. I have spent my entire life convincing myself and others that I’m strong, smart, and in charge. It got me high positions and stock options. Vulnerability seems like it would be the opposite. In my corporate jobs as a Region President or Chief Marketing Officer, I felt I needed to constantly prove my value to the organization by being smarter than the next person.
Vulnerability is particularly hard for women who have worked tirelessly to get to where they are, or have hidden parts of themselves to fit what they perceive as the “success mold.” So, in my effort to be strong, I made a decision to not be vulnerable, to not show too much emotion, to always be certain, to be convinced and convincing that I am right.
Here is what I have now discovered. Strength and vulnerability are not opposites. Vulnerability requires great levels of strength and courage. It is actually the next level of evolution in our strength as leaders. It requires courage to be who we are, despite our fears of not being accepted or liked. It requires that we ourselves accept the parts of ourselves that we don’t like or are ashamed of. It requires courage to talk about our failures and take accountability for them. It requires courage to admit that we are feeling uncertain or that we don’t know all the answers. All of these require an evolution within our being in order to grow from being transactional to transformational leaders.
The story goes that the first thing Indra Nooyi did after being told that she was the chosen one to take on the role of CEO of Pepsi, was to get on a plane and get to her biggest competitor for the job. She wanted to convince him to stay with Pepsi. She told him she needed him and that the company would be better with him on board. That’s showing vulnerability. It takes courage. A smaller person would have been only too glad to let their nemesis leave.
So, how do we evolve in our ability to be vulnerable? Here are some exercises to practice vulnerability.
Read more
Are Finance Careers Fair for Women?
Managing ChangeAccording to a new study by Treasury and Risk magazine, twice as many women as men in finance (80% versus 41%) see a glass ceiling for women in the corporate space.
This is only one of the notable divergences in views between men and women about gender in the corporate workplace. For example, the study also revealed that women are generally dissatisfied with corporate efforts to promote senior level diversity – only 43% of women would give their company’s initiatives an A or B grade, while 80% of men would.
But while it’s clear that more women see challenges to their advancement than men do, times are changing. In fact, the percentage of men who do acknowledge that there are unseen barriers to women’s advancement is increasing at a rapid rate. The percentage of men who do acknowledge a glass ceiling has increased significantly since just last year when it was only 29%.
Is it this just a statistical quirk, or does it mean times are changing for women in the industry? Either way, the vast difference between male and females regarding fairness for women in the industry is alarming. Despite (or maybe because of) decades of work to promote diversity in finance, the majority of men do not believe there are hidden biases that prevent women from advancing as quickly as they do – and this could be a barrier in itself.
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Day-to-Day Flexibility Increases, While Career Flex Drops
Work-LifeAccording to the latest study [PDF] by the Families and Work Institute and the Society for Human Resource Management, flexible working options are becoming more common. On the other hand, it’s becoming more difficult for individuals who make significant changes – like taking a break from work for family responsibilities – to get back into the workforce at the same rate as a few years ago.
For example, while the use of flex time, working from home, or taking time off during the day have all increased since the last survey was performed in 2005, more extensive changes in how people work have decreased. The ability to “return to work gradually after childbirth or adoption,” “take a career break,” or “move between part time and full time work,” have all decreased since 2005.
Day-to-day, the need for more flexibility is clear – today we are seeing increased workloads and busier workers, who are often part of dual-career families. New technology is cutting the physical ties that bind people to the office. And companies are recognizing that.
On the other hand, companies do not seem to be acknowledging the importance of retaining long-term, experienced employees who may need to decrease their work-schedule for a more extended amount of time due to personal pulls. Because women disproportionately take extended leaves of absence or shift between full and part time, this new data suggests that companies may face challenges keeping the pipeline of talented women flowing to the top.
Research shows that when companies refuse to work with women based on their long-term flexibility needs, they leave the workforce altogether. And that’s bad for families, communities, and companies.
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Voice of Experience: Stephanie Miller, Managing Director and Global Head of Alternative Investment Services, J.P. Morgan Worldwide Securities Services
Voices of ExperienceAccording to Stephanie Miller, Managing Director and Global Head of Alternative Investment Services at J.P. Morgan Worldwide Security Services (WSS), remaining open to change is critical for building a dynamic career. “I find personally – and I hope I exhibit this – that change is really okay.”
She continued, “Even though I’ve been doing this for twenty years, you have to be open to listening to other people, to be open to change. Keep an open mind and try to keep fresh on how you are approaching challenges, so you can continue to take yourself to the next level.”
This spring, Miller joined J.P. Morgan, taking on responsibility of strategy and direction for WSS’s Private Equity & Real Estate Services and Hedge Fund Services businesses. Before joining J.P. Morgan, Miller spent ten years at Citco Fund Services, serving as managing director and running the firm’s North American operations. “I handled the middle office, fund accounting, and transformational and technology change,” she explained. “I’m hoping to achieve the same size and scale of our business list at J.P. Morgan and I’m looking forward to this challenge.”
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Wall Street Exchange Prepares Next Generation for the Job Market
Mentors and SponsorsIt’s springtime – and that means many college students are hard at work, seeking internships and finding how they can make the most of their undergraduate training. But there’s a lot more to getting a job than landing an internship.
That’s why the Financial Women’s Association of New York is, once again, hosting its Wall Street Exchange program. It’s a nine-week program that runs from late June to early August to help students, women and men, learn to navigate Wall Street as they begin their careers.
“The Wall Street Exchange program was started for students between their junior and senior years of college, to prepare them for life after graduation,” Anne Izzillo, President of the FWA explained. “We’re trying to give them the tools they need to find a job and be successful in that job.”
Students learn how to write a resume, work on presentation skills, do mock interviews, and more. And, Izzillo said, the program is just as rewarding to women in the FWA who participate. That’s why the networking group has been successfully operating the program for over two decades.
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New Initiative to Increase Diversity on Director Candidate Slates
Industry Leaders, LeadershipEarlier this week, almost three hundred women board directors gathered at the second annual WomenCorporateDirectors Global Institute to discuss issues that corporations are facing in an increasingly global and complex marketplace.
Last year, the organization, composed of over 1,400 women in 42 chapters around the world, put forth a call to action to increase board diversity. In order to do so, this year, the group announced its newest project: the WCD Global Nominating Commission, a task force of CEOS and nominating committee chairs from top corporate boards, which will focus on increasing diversity on candidate slates for directorships.
Henrietta H. Fore, global co-chair of WCD, CEO and chairman of Holsman International, and a director at ExxonMobil and Theravance, Inc, said, “With the Commission, we are taking on the next challenge – urging nominating committees, who determine the composition of the board, to focus on global diversity.”
She added, “We will work with these important decision-makers in a whole new way.”
Alison A. Winter, global co-chair and co-founder of WCD and a director at Nordstrom, added, “With greater demand on boards and from boards to increase diversity, the Global Nominating Commission will be an important center of influence for nominating committees worldwide.”
Increasing diversity on candidate slates has been touted as a way to build more diverse boards, without resorting to quota rules that have been adopted in countries in Europe and Asia. Board diversity has been shown time and time again to drive better decision-making and has been correlated with increased corporate revenues.
Based on the challenges that corporations will face in the coming years, diversity can only improve boards’ ability to tackle the tangled web of global opportunities that lie ahead.
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Voice of Experience: Yvette Vargas, Managing Director, Head of Talent Development & Diversity, UBS Wealth Management
Voices of Experience“My role at UBS is to put in a talent management framework that is totally integrated with – subsumed in – our diversity agenda. I’ve been working to reframe how people think about managing talent, to make sure the right people are in the right jobs at the right time in the context of the business they’re in,” explained Yvette Vargas, Managing Director and Head of Talent Development and Diversity at UBS Wealth Management.
“When I look at financial services, diversity has really been focused on evolving from affirmative action and creating awareness around sensitivity to now understanding the importance of diversity from a values perspective,” she explained. “The challenges is getting people to think about this from a business perspective.”
She added, “If we do this right – set the philosophy, processes, tools – managers can become the best talent managers they can be.”
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Office Politics – Five Steps to Make It Joyful
Ask A Career CoachThe Joy of Office Politics. Oxymoron? Almost every leader I talk to hates office politics and sees it as a necessary evil to get things done. What if we discovered steps that would actually help make office politics joyful? Would you try them?
Here’s a recent client situation that inspired me to write this blog post. My client is a senior leader in a new role in the Supply Chain in a manufacturing company. She is responsible for major transformation of the Supply Chain function. The new CEO of her division is holding her accountable for making it happen. She has a dotted line reporting relationship to the Supply Chain Head who is the official Sponsor of the transformation project. The problem is that the Supply Chain Head was recently demoted in position and does not have a great relationship with the CEO. The transformation project is to dismantle some of what the Supply Chain Head created over his 20+ year career. He’s not exactly thrilled, as you might imagine. He is unconsciously sabotaging the efforts my client is responsible for.
She has been told by the current CEO she needs to be the “watchdog” to report back any sabotage. However, she needs the Supply Chain Head’s help, as most of the people implementing the changes work for him. Who should she be loyal to? How can she be successful? The “icky” politics of this is enough to get her to avoid the situation all together.
Does this situation sound familiar? Do you know anyone who is accountable for results where they have no direct authority and political agendas get in the way? Not you? Maybe a friend you know?
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Is the Opt Out Myth Officially Defeated?
Work-LifeRecently Pew Research released the results of a new study showing that career aspirations are increasing in women. According to the research, the importance women aged 18-34 placed on career aspiration increased by 10% between 1997 and 2011. Not only that, the importance of career aspirations to men aged 18-24 only increased by 1%. In fact, the study showed, more young women (66%) than men (59%) named “being successful in a high paying career or profession” as very important or one of the most important things to them.
And it’s not just young women. The importance of a high paying career to women aged 35 to 64 also rose significantly in the same time period – from 26% to 42%. That’s an even bigger leap than for younger women. Men of the same age group only saw a 2% increase in the importance of a high paying career.
The ambition gap is officially closed. But what’s really surprising is how much more quickly women’s ambition seems to be growing. Will companies be able to keep up with women’s soaring career goals? And now that we can clearly see that the importance women place on their career is equal to (surpassing, even) men at every age, can we finally lay the opt-out myth to rest?
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How to Talk about a Risky Career Move with Your Partner
Managing ChangeYou’ve just found out that you’re receiving a promotion—along with the extra hours that it entails. Or maybe you’ve been asked to join a new firm, or tackle an assignment abroad. While new career opportunities are cause for celebration, they can also raise complex work/life issues that need to be resolved with family members, particularly your partner or spouse.
Major job changes, while exciting, can also be risky—sometimes even more so for partners and other family members than for the person with the opportunity. Therefore, it can be difficult for ambitious women to announce to their significant other that they are considering a risky career move.
With a PhD in molecular medicine and leading a team of scientists, Teresa Bryan had been on the rise in the biotech industry. Yet she wanted to start a family-owned business. Because the change would entail giving up her current earning potential, as well as career growth and experience in her industry, Bryan was afraid such a drastic and high-risk career change would not be well-received by her husband. She describes the process that she went through in discussing the possibility with him:
“We found it best to talk things out and put all the pros and cons on the table. We also were sure to be completely honest with one another regarding expectations and pitfalls. We knew that we’d be losing a large source of income, likely need to delay having a child, have insanely busy work and travel schedules, and would need to drastically reduce our discretionary spending. But, we were also gaining the opportunity to be in control of our future—this was the most important benefit for us.”
Bryan says the most critical point was to get her husband on board with 100% buy-in to the commitment. “We agreed that this was the risk we wanted to take, and understood the implications,” says Bryan. “He was highly supportive since he realized the new career move was in the best interest for our family.”
Not everyone’s situation goes as smoothly as Bryan’s. What are the best strategies to handle this possible communication powder keg to ensure the best possible outcome for all involved? Read on.
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