By Robin Madell (San Francisco)
“Do not lean back; lean in. Put your foot on that gas pedal and keep it there until the day you have to make a decision, and then make a decision. That’s the only way, when that day comes, you’ll even have a decision to make.”
–Sheryl Sandberg, COO, Facebook
There’s increasing polarization on the subject of how to handle work-life’s ever-escalating challenges for women. The friction is visible in the varied media responses to news that incoming Yahoo CEO Marissa Mayer will be the first female CEO to take the top spot while pregnant, and to Anne-Marie Slaughter’s controversial cover story for The Atlantic, Why Women Still Can’t Have It All.
Part of the dilemma and discussion revolves around a concept coined by Sheryl Sandberg, Facebook’s COO: “leaning in” versus “leaning back.” In last year’s commencement speech to Barnard College, Sandberg encouraged graduates to “lean way into” their careers. “If all young women start to lean in, we can close the ambition gap right here, right now, if every single one of you leans in,” said Sandberg.
Sandberg describes how failing to “lean in” inadvertently leads many women to leave the workforce:
“Women almost never make one decision to leave the workforce,” said Sandberg. “It doesn’t happen that way. They make small little decisions along the way that eventually lead them there. Maybe it’s the last year of med school when they say, I’ll take a slightly less interesting specialty because I’m going to want more balance one day. Maybe it’s the fifth year in a law firm when they say, I’m not even sure I should go for partner, because I know I’m going to want kids eventually. These women don’t even have relationships, and already they’re finding balance, balance for responsibilities they don’t yet have. And from that moment, they start quietly leaning back. The problem is, often they don’t even realize it.”
In her keynote speech at the 2012 Anita Borg Institute Women of Vision Awards, Kara Swisher paid tribute to Sandberg’s concept, as Swisher described her own personal experience on the heels of suffering a minor stroke. Swisher said many suggested to her after her health scare that she should slow down, relax, and spend more time with her children. In response, Swisher told them that she planned to do the opposite.
“One of the things I did tell them was, ‘I’m going to double down. I’m going to go forward. I’m going to be even more of a workaholic,’ said Swisher. “They say I should slow down. And I say, ‘You know, actually, I’m going to do more. I’m going to push more. I’m going to lean in more.’”
Swisher went on to describe how much Steve Jobs accomplished in the last years of his life, while under pressure and suffering from serious illness. “One of the things I think that happened to him is that he decided he had a very short time left, and instead of wasting it, he pushed on forward,” said Swisher. “During the last years of his life, he created the iPhone, the iPad, he was moving into television. The things we think of him as great, he did when he was very sick, he did in the last years of life when he didn’t have time.”
She continued by saying that while she believed it’s “absolutely true” that women can’t have it all, she believes women can have what they want in life if they’re very careful and spend a lot of time thinking about it. “When you think about being a woman, and you feel like you shouldn’t push forward, you should pull back because of having a baby or anything else, that is exactly the time to turn around and double down,” said Swisher.
Swisher concluded with a friendly jab at Arianna Huffington’s recent installation of nap rooms at the Huffington Post—a response to having fainted from work-life exhaustion four years ago, hitting her head on her desk and breaking her cheekbone: “And if that means, I’m sorry Arianna, you don’t take as many naps, that’s the way it’s going to have to be.”
While Sandberg and Swisher are in alignment with their views on the value of the “lean in,” not everyone in the business community agrees. In fact, a random poll by The Glass Hammer of women executives and workplace experts drew a nearly even 50/50 split between those for and against the idea. And many of those against it were strongly against it.
“Double Down” Debate Draws Kudos and Ire
Work-Life“Do not lean back; lean in. Put your foot on that gas pedal and keep it there until the day you have to make a decision, and then make a decision. That’s the only way, when that day comes, you’ll even have a decision to make.”
–Sheryl Sandberg, COO, Facebook
There’s increasing polarization on the subject of how to handle work-life’s ever-escalating challenges for women. The friction is visible in the varied media responses to news that incoming Yahoo CEO Marissa Mayer will be the first female CEO to take the top spot while pregnant, and to Anne-Marie Slaughter’s controversial cover story for The Atlantic, Why Women Still Can’t Have It All.
Part of the dilemma and discussion revolves around a concept coined by Sheryl Sandberg, Facebook’s COO: “leaning in” versus “leaning back.” In last year’s commencement speech to Barnard College, Sandberg encouraged graduates to “lean way into” their careers. “If all young women start to lean in, we can close the ambition gap right here, right now, if every single one of you leans in,” said Sandberg.
Sandberg describes how failing to “lean in” inadvertently leads many women to leave the workforce:
“Women almost never make one decision to leave the workforce,” said Sandberg. “It doesn’t happen that way. They make small little decisions along the way that eventually lead them there. Maybe it’s the last year of med school when they say, I’ll take a slightly less interesting specialty because I’m going to want more balance one day. Maybe it’s the fifth year in a law firm when they say, I’m not even sure I should go for partner, because I know I’m going to want kids eventually. These women don’t even have relationships, and already they’re finding balance, balance for responsibilities they don’t yet have. And from that moment, they start quietly leaning back. The problem is, often they don’t even realize it.”
In her keynote speech at the 2012 Anita Borg Institute Women of Vision Awards, Kara Swisher paid tribute to Sandberg’s concept, as Swisher described her own personal experience on the heels of suffering a minor stroke. Swisher said many suggested to her after her health scare that she should slow down, relax, and spend more time with her children. In response, Swisher told them that she planned to do the opposite.
“One of the things I did tell them was, ‘I’m going to double down. I’m going to go forward. I’m going to be even more of a workaholic,’ said Swisher. “They say I should slow down. And I say, ‘You know, actually, I’m going to do more. I’m going to push more. I’m going to lean in more.’”
Swisher went on to describe how much Steve Jobs accomplished in the last years of his life, while under pressure and suffering from serious illness. “One of the things I think that happened to him is that he decided he had a very short time left, and instead of wasting it, he pushed on forward,” said Swisher. “During the last years of his life, he created the iPhone, the iPad, he was moving into television. The things we think of him as great, he did when he was very sick, he did in the last years of life when he didn’t have time.”
She continued by saying that while she believed it’s “absolutely true” that women can’t have it all, she believes women can have what they want in life if they’re very careful and spend a lot of time thinking about it. “When you think about being a woman, and you feel like you shouldn’t push forward, you should pull back because of having a baby or anything else, that is exactly the time to turn around and double down,” said Swisher.
Swisher concluded with a friendly jab at Arianna Huffington’s recent installation of nap rooms at the Huffington Post—a response to having fainted from work-life exhaustion four years ago, hitting her head on her desk and breaking her cheekbone: “And if that means, I’m sorry Arianna, you don’t take as many naps, that’s the way it’s going to have to be.”
While Sandberg and Swisher are in alignment with their views on the value of the “lean in,” not everyone in the business community agrees. In fact, a random poll by The Glass Hammer of women executives and workplace experts drew a nearly even 50/50 split between those for and against the idea. And many of those against it were strongly against it.
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Voice of Experience: Kimberly Wood, Senior Partner, Central Market Business Leader, Mercer Investments
Voices of ExperienceKimberly Wood, Senior Partner and Central Market Business Leader at Mercer Investments, believes that mentoring the next generation is an important responsibility for senior leaders. She encouraged seasoned women to reach out to the next generation. “I don’t think senior women can do enough,” she said. “I think we need to do a lot more in terms of mentoring, coaching, and being a support system.”
Wood, who spent the majority of her career at in finance and asset management at Ford Motor Company before joining the burgeoning field of implemented consulting (or Outsourced CIO) at Mercer, has taken this responsibility to heart.
“When I go back to my college or do speaking engagements, I get a lot of questions. They really want to know what you’ve been through – both the women and the men actually,” she said.
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Three Reasons to Let Go of Work This Weekend
Work-LifeAccording to a new article published in the academic journal Current Directions in Psychological Science, work-related stress can follow you home, impacting your emotional and physical health, as well as impairing your ability to do a good job when you’re actually in the office. But, the author says, you can avoid these negative effects of workplace stress by switching off.
“In the fast-paced 24/7 economy, many people are constantly busy and find it increasingly difficult to unwind and relax,” writes Sabine Sonnentag of the University of Mannheim. “Being continuously occupied with job-related issues without mentally disengaging from time to time might seem necessary for employees in many organizations, but it can have negative side effects.”
According to Sonnentag, detaching means turning off your Blackberry, not logging into your email, and forgetting about conflicts with coworkers. This can be difficult for high achievers, but, many studies suggest you’ll be happier and better at your job if you learn to silence the work worry-wart inside your mind. Here are three reasons to let go of work this weekend.
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From Management to Leadership: Next-Level Listening Skills
Men Who "Get It"Working with a number of highly successful CEOs, I’ve learned that of all the business acumen they have acquired over the years, many assert that attentive listening has been the number one key to their effectiveness.
And, not surprisingly, when surveying team members of leaders who were seeking to improve their leadership skills, listening was frequently cited as the needed area for improvement. In 360-assessments and other surveys administered on behalf of my clients, this has been the most frequent feedback from team members:
Our ability to retain what we hear is substantially limited. In fact, surveys reveal that in general, we only remember 20% to 50% of what we hear. A Harvard Business Review article cites research that indicates that within 48 hours, we only retain 25% of what we’ve heard.
So, while many people think that they are good listeners, they’re actually not!
Fortunately, listening, like all other skills, can be improved! And you can be assured that improving your listening will also improve your leadership and your overall success. With specific self-observation practices, anyone can begin to improve their listening.
Take for example one of my clients, a financial services executive, who was frustrated and felt stuck. She believed her career within the company she worked for had plateaued. She also observed that her direct reports were not as engaged with her personally as she would like. In our work together, I gathered feedback from these team members and learned that many of them felt as if she did not listen to them. They noted that she tended to jump to conclusions before they finished speaking. It bothered them that she sometimes even finished their sentences for them.
My client was completely surprised by the feedback she received. Nevertheless, she immediately went to work on changing these habits. In a short amount of time, she began noticing a difference in how her team members interacted with her and with one another. The spirit and enthusiasm of her team members increased. Her improved listening was definitely noticed and appreciated. The change was also reflected in her team’s financial results, which exceeded the outlined goals.
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Creating a Future: 2012 Multicultural Women’s National Conference
Featured, Managing ChangeThis week Working Mother Media celebrated the 10th year of its Multicultural Women’s National Conference. The event, led by Carol Evans, President of Working Mother Media, celebrated a decade of progress in advancing multicultural women in the corporate workplace.
Evans presented data showing how the percentage of multicultural women in corporations, while still slim, has grown significantly over the past ten years. The first time the organization surveyed its member companies (“Best Companies”) on the subject of multicultural women, Evans continued, “Nobody knew whether it was okay to release these numbers or if they should stay hidden.”
Looking at the total workforce of Best Companies, 21% are multicultural women. “But as you go up the ladder…” Evans continued, the percentage decreases significantly. Today 12% of officers or managers at Best Companies are women of color, compared to only 7% nationwide. Only four percent of board members at Best Companies are multicultural women.
Evans noted that 4.3% of direct reports to the CEO are multicultural women, while 72.7% are Caucasian men. Multicultural women only make up 2.8% of P&L roles at Best Companies, compared with Caucasian women at 19.5% and men at 77.7%.
But, she continued, despite these small numbers, multicultural women represented 14% of top earners at Best Companies, compared to 11% last year. Finally, she added, companies are working to increase diversity. Over four out of five respondents (84%) said they rate managers on how they handle diversity issues. And 36% have compensation practices that reward managers for helping multicultural women advance.
She called for more trust and cooperation between white women and multicultural women in order to share the growing space for women at the top. “Our future together is for us to create together,” she said.
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The Most Important Tool for Emotional Intelligence
Ask A Career CoachEmotional intelligence (EQ) is a key driver of success in the workplace, perhaps the most important driver. Studies show that those at the high levels of emotional intelligence earn $29,000 more per year than those at lower levels, and 90% of high performers have high EQ. The good news is that emotional intelligence, unlike IQ, can be learned.
Emotional intelligence, according to a book and assessment tool Emotional Intelligence 2.0 is our ability to recognize and understand emotions in ourselves and others and our ability to use this awareness to manage our relationships. One tool that continues to be transformational for me in practicing emotional intelligence is what I fondly refer to as “the Pregnant Pause.” I see this as the gateway tool for emotional intelligence.
Imagine this scenario. You have a major presentation to senior management at your company.
You’ve been working on the 50-page power point for a month. If you’d kept track of all the versions you’d be at version 89. All the nits the management two levels above you pointed out have been corrected. It is show-time. You’ve had barely three hours of sleep and your nerves are on edge. You make what you believe to be a stellar presentation and are waiting for the standing ovation when Dave, a peer you’re not exactly fond of, asks a stupid question on slide 45 in the footnotes. Clearly, he’s just trying to make you look bad so you snap back with a sarcastic, “Well, if you’d read the pre-read deck, it’s all explained in detail there!” Ouch. Did that actually come out of your mouth?
This is what is called the emotional highjack. The emotions in your brain highjack the rational part of your brain that would have responded “Great question, Dave. Let me address that.” The Pregnant Pause is a leadership practice that causes us to notice when our emotions run high and to make a conscious choice to slow down and let our rational brain catch up. When we allow that, we discover what is really happening with a clearer lens, we truly listen to what others are saying, and are able to make better decisions. We can then give birth to the right solutions.
Here are five practices to make the Pregnant Pause part of your everyday life.
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Shift Your Mindset and Put Yourself on Equal Footing with Your Boss
Expert AnswersIt took me a long time to figure this out at my previous career in a Fortune 100 company: it is far better to see yourself as an equal to your boss than as someone working “under” him or her.
This subtle shift in mindset completely changed the conversations I was having with my bosses as well as the directors and VPs with whom I worked. It brought my true value to light and as a result, it helped advance my career growth.
Frankly, I was surprised because it all comes down to mindset, especially if you are – like I was – a high performing valuable part of the organization, and already doing the work and getting the results, and yet your career is not advancing accordingly.
What can this shift in mindset do for you?
First, what does being equal to your boss mean? I do understand the corporate hierarchy, the chain of command, and the need for respect and authority – I lived and breathed corporate life for 12 years – but you can do all that and still act in an equal partnership.
You can continue to show respect, and to let him or her have the final say on decisions, and yet position yourself as a true equal in the relationship.
And your boss will thank you for it if you do it right and I will tell you how to get it right.
First, stop thinking so much about what you can “get” out of your boss such as leaving early on Fridays or fighting over a 3% raise. Instead, focus on ways that you can encourage him or her to willingly “give” you your true worth in compensation and responsibility and consider you an indispensable part of the organization.
And how do you do that?
First, start understanding the real worth and value you bring to your team and your organization. Are you really doing things that are worthy of marking you indispensable? If the honest answer is no, then take the time to assess your current role and if need be, create a smart strategy to change your role or find the right position.
But let’s say you are worthy of being highly regarded, so then look at the perceived value that your boss puts on your work. If there is a gap (and there generally is!) between the true value that you bring and the perceived one in his or her mind, it is your perfect opportunity to set the record straight once and for all.
Here are my 3-little known ways to get on equal footing with your boss.
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Bypassing the Glass Escalator Threat
Managing ChangeThe glass ceiling has remained a stubborn fixture in corporate America for decades. Now new research shows that over the past 10 years, another invisible friend has joined it: the glass escalator.
The New York Times analyzed census data that reveals from 2000 to 2010, occupations that are primarily associated with females (more than 70 percent women) represented close to one third of the job growth for men. That’s twice the amount of the previous decade.
Forbes points out that while this trend may be good for men and on the surface may benefit families as well, it presents a clear obstacle to women in female-dominated professions, such as nursing and teaching. As Jenna Goudreau, Forbes staff, said, “While women climb the ladder in female-dominated professions, their male peers glide past them on an invisible escalator, shooting straight to the top.”
Goudreau’s article explains that this is because men who enter these particular fields tend to be promoted at faster rates, becoming disproportionately represented in senior management. The New York Times notes that even in female-dominated jobs where they’re in the minority, men still make more money than their female counterparts.
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Voice of Experience: Deborah Freer, Chief Operating Officer, US, RBC Capital Markets
Voices of ExperienceDeborah Freer, U.S. Chief Operating Officer at RBC Capital Markets, began her career over three decades ago, and says she believes strongly in the importance of women helping women, and of being a mentor.
For example, looking back on her own early career, Freer said, “I wish I had a little more insight into how to deal with certain types of people. My first 10 years would have been easier. I wish I had had more insight into how things ultimately work in this business.”
It is fortunate, then, for Freer’s niece, who is beginning her own career on Wall Street. Her aunt has amassed a slew of advice to share with her. “I tell her, ‘Keep your eyes open, every single day. You can’t think for a second that you’re not going to learn or add value.’”
She continued, “The other thing is that you have to do your job really well before you start trying for the next one. You need to prove you can ace a job before you get considered for the next promotion. And always ask for feedback. Push people into telling you how you’re doing whether it’s good or bad. And don’t be afraid to try new things.”
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Intrepid Woman: Claudia Chan, Founder of ClaudiaChan.com and S.H.E. Summit
Intrepid Women SeriesAccording to Claudia Chan, founder of ClaudiaChan.com, women must build stronger relationships with one another in order to unlock our potential for leadership. “When you look at statistics like those from CARE, which show women do 60 percent of the world’s work, yet earn just ten percent of the world’s income and own only one percent of the world’s property, I think you have to realize that if we, as women, don’t support each other, we will be left behind.”
She continued, “And women, now more than ever, are supporting each other through organizations like JoinFITE, created by Jane Wurwand of Dermalogica, to help women start and build businesses to support their families, or the venture capital firm Golden Seeds, created by Stephanie Newby, invest in female-run companies while delivering above market returns for investors. Now is the perfect time to focus on networking with each other because there is both the incredible need to do so and the possibility of amazing returns.”
That’s why Chan put together the recent S.H.E. Summit held in New York City in June. “I realized that, while we have weeks dedicated to almost everything, from Fashion Week and Social Media Week to Restaurant Week, there is no week that is set aside just for women to focus on themselves.”
The event featured over 40 events “for, by, and about women,” on networking, entrepreneurship, and professional development, wellness, beauty, and personal growth.
“S.H.E. Summit Week is a time for women to come together to find the inspiration, support and community they need to help them dream and do big things. As women, we take on a lot, and it’s important to take a break from the stress of every day life to focus on our passions so we can start to see how to live our lives with purpose,” she added.
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