Can Women Win? And Do We Even Want To?
“Women can’t win.” This is one of the conclusions reached by Lisa Belkin, a writer for the New York Times, in her recent article “The Feminine Critique.” After reading the article, you may well agree, particularly when you consider her analysis about how differently men and women are viewed in the workplace, even when behaving in similar ways.
In the article, Ms. Belkin cites several examples from research studies, including this nugget of wisdom: when a woman gets angry, she is perceived to have lost stature and control. When a man gets angry, he is considered to have gained stature and control. Belkin is right on target by asking what women should do with this, and all the other information floating around about how we are viewed differently than men in the workplace. She wonders if women really need to transform themselves in order to succeed, and if so, into what?
Belkin also gleans some practical advice from the research cited in her article, and quotes a psychology professor who believes that the research can help by letting women know that “they are acting in ways they might not even be aware of, and that is harming them and they can change.”
Thinking about these issues prompted me to revisit another Belkin piece, the much-discussed 2003 article “The Opt-Out Revolution,” which talked about several women who graduated from Ivy League schools, set out to take on the world, and then suddenly “opted out,” having realized that success would be defined for them in other forms, most notably success in the realm of motherhood. Belkin writes, “women are redefining success. And in doing so, they are redefining work.”
Considering these two articles together made me ask myself, what are we as women trying to win and do we even want to?
My good friend E. e-mailed me recently to tell me that she had quit her job. She had just started this job two years ago as an international sales director for a well-known fashion company. Having worked in the fashion industry for over 15 years at several large companies, she knew what the job entailed and was indeed thrilled to get it. I was surprised to hear from her e-mail that she had left her job, but not for another more prestigious and higher-paying position. She told me, “I just don’t want to do this anymore. Since I had my son, I feel my priorities have shifted and while I love my work and always want to work, there must be a way to make a job fit into my life, and not mold my life around a job. I don’t know what I’ll do next, but I am really excited about the options.”
Thinking about my friend and considering the two Lisa Belkin articles together made me ask myself, “What are we as women trying to win and do we even want to? What does work mean to us – is it what defines us or is it simply a means to an end?”
Good questions, and ones that will be answered by each of us individually as we make our way through the business world, or choose other paths, as the women in “The Opt-Out Revolution” did.
Either way, it’s our own choice, and that is true freedom.
Contributed by Kathryn Nilsson Reichert
