The Way You’re Coping With Stress Is Making It Worse: What You Should Do Instead to Build Your Resiliency

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women stressedOn a typical day, you’re most likely squeezing in three days worth of work. You have your scheduled work time consisting of meetings, servicing clients and customers, managing communications, and connecting with colleagues scattered around the globe. Your second workday consists of the one before, after and in-between. You get up early to get a jump on emails, you stay late to get work done, and you multitask during the day in an attempt to be as productive as possible. Your third workday begins when you leave the office. You have to pick up food for dinner on the way home, perhaps get the kids to practice, run a load of laundry and make sure the house hasn’t fallen apart. Before you go to bed you see the opportunity to get on your computer to get more work done. No wonder you’re completely stressed and exhausted by the end of the day!

You just need to find better ways to reduce or manage your stress, right? Wrong. Unfortunately, there’s no way to reduce your stress. Your job is never going to ask less of you, nor are your loved ones. The demands in your life will only continue to increase as you move up in your career and your personal life becomes more complex. In addition, stress is not just something that happens in your head. It’s a chemical, hormonal event that radically changes your chemistry and physiology.

The hormones released in response to stress can have many negative effects on your body and brain. As just one example, the stress hormone cortisol kills cells in the brain relating to memory, learning and goal setting. It’s responsible for insomnia. It makes you crave high-fat, high-sugar foods in large amounts, and to store a majority of it as fat, specifically around the midsection.

But the good news is, when we understand the physiology of the stress response, we can build our resiliency to stress. We can train our bodies to recover from stress more quickly and efficiently, as well as raise our threshold for stress. And if that’s not enough, resiliency training can also improve our health and help us lose body fat.

Up until now, many of the things you’re doing to cope with the stresses you’re facing are actually making things worse. You may skip meals and workouts, sacrifice sleep to get more work done, grab sweets or salty snacks, rev yourself up with caffeine and bring yourself down with alcohol. Here are four things you may be doing that are exacerbating your stress, along with tips to build your resiliency:

1. You sacrifice sleep to get things done.

It’s tempting to trade sleep for extra hours of productivity, but lack of sleep ramps up our sympathetic nervous system, pushing us in the direction of the stress response. Simultaneously, it makes the parasympathetic nervous system – which is related to restoring balance and calm — less effective. Sleep deprivation also increases body fat levels, specifically around the midsection. This abdominal fat is not only frustrating, it also increases our risk of diabetes, heart disease, obesity, and even premature death. Keep to a regular sleep and wake cycle, and aim to get between 7-9 hours each night. Sleep is one of the best tools we have for the body to recover from stress.

2. You drink caffeine to get energy and make up for lack of sleep.

In addition to increasing blood pressure, caffeine stimulates the release of the stress hormones adrenaline and cortisol. To make matters worse, caffeine has been shown to work synergistically with mental stress to further increase cortisol levels. From a stress perspective, cutting out caffeine is ideal. Why voluntarily pump more stress hormones into your body? If you choose to consume caffeine, do so in small amounts.

3. You skip meals because you’re too busy to eat.

When we skip meals or go too long without eating, blood glucose (a form of sugar the body uses for energy from many of the foods we eat) drops. When there’s not enough glucose, the body thinks a famine is occurring, the stress response is stimulated and the body secretes cortisol. This puts us into food seeking mode to get much needed energy into the body. Cortisol makes us eat large amounts of food containing fat and sugar, and to store much of this extra energy away in our fat cells for the next glucose emergency. Maintain blood glucose levels and minimize stress by eating about every 3 hours, alternating between moderate sized meals and small snacks.

4. You skip your workout because you don’t have time.

Stress hormones are specifically designed to fuel a short burst of intense physical activity – fighting or fleeing. When we do this, it burns them off and releases another class of hormones that restore balance and counteract the negative consequences of stress. The good news is just 30-60 seconds of intense exercise produces these feel good hormones. Sprint up a flight of stairs, or do a few jumping jacks or burpees. Worst-case scenario, do a few of these shorts bursts to hit the reset button on stress, or squeeze in a few minutes here and there. Exercise can be accumulated throughout the day in 10-minute bouts, which can be just as effective for improving fitness and decreasing body fat as exercising for 30 minutes straight.

For more strategies on how to build your resiliency to stress, read Jenny’s book The Resiliency rEvolution: Your Stress Solution for Life, 60 Seconds at a Time.

Jenny C. Evans is the author of THE RESILIENCY rEVOLUTION: Your Stress Solution For Life 60 Seconds at a Time (Wise Ink Creative Publishing; 2014). She is also founder and CEO of PowerHouse Performance, where she works with thousands of C-suite executives, leaders, and employees worldwide to help them improve their resilience, performance and productivity, while enhancing their health.

Guest advice and opinions are not necessarily those of theglasshammer.com

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About That Positive Mindset…

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istock_000013311579xsmallI’m sure you’ve heard of the power of positive thinking or the Law of Attraction by now.

But if you’ve somehow escaped the daytime talk shows, multitude of online articles, and your friends’ comments about the subject, the idea in a nutshell is that your thoughts determine your circumstances. In other words, you attract positive or negative situations into your life by the way you think about things. It’s along the same lines of these familiar adages: You reap what you sow. Be careful what you wish for because you may just get it. What goes around comes around.

Do you remember the craze around The Secret a few years back? What a load of nonsense. Did you really believe you could sit on the couch watching TV and simply think your way to a fabulous reality? I mean seriously, how could that advance your career? You and I know that only hard work and determination create long-term career success and opportunities.

While many career oriented women don’t dismiss the idea that our thoughts can affect outcomes, it’s sometimes hard to swallow that our present life is a direct result of our thoughts—especially if we are not yet where we want to be. Building a career takes time. But if our thoughts can contribute anything at all to our realities, then isn’t it worth paying close attention to what we tell ourselves?

If you own a business, you believe your products or services are needed. If you work for someone else, your employer is purchasing your contributions, ideas, and expertise. You don’t think twice whether you are needed as an employee because, like a business owner, you have something of value to offer.

The importance of a positive mindset comes into play when we consider the value of our skills or our products or services. Yet, it seems to be difficult for many of us to identify our own personal value proposition and talk with ease and confidence about the real dollar value associated with what we personally offer. Women especially struggle with determining their worth and communicating it clearly and fearlessly.

Why is it that verbalizing our value to others can be pure torture? Why is it so difficult to ask with confidence for that promotion/raise/hot job/ or the next big opportunity? Why don’t others simply see our worth and volunteer to compensate us accordingly?

While that would be great that’s not how business works. It is up to us to tell and sell.

Before I share with you my personal tips that propelled me from $135,000 in debt to becoming a multi-millionaire, here is something that may help you wrap your head around how thoughts affect outcomes. I find it fascinating how quantum physics relates to Law of Attraction and the power of positive thinking. It is all about how energy influences everything around us. Here’s a YouTube video that will shed some light on creating our perfect lives and attracting abundance. There was also a wonderful experiment where researchers focused energy into water then studies the crystalline structures of frozen droplets. They discovered good vibes created the most beautiful crystals and bad vibes created formless blobs. You can find the astonishing results here.

Now let’s translate that into our everyday world. Have you ever had a bad morning that snowballed into a bad day? From the bank teller who miscounted your withdrawal, to the grumpy grocery store clerk, to your dog barking all night long for seemingly no reason… Conflict all day long. In comparison, have you ever had that day when you woke up feeling on top of the world and good things kept coming your way from morning through night? In essence, each of these examples illustrates the principle. The mindset that exudes happiness and confidence from within is completely irresistible and attracts success.

But what if we are not in a good place emotionally and we can’t stop our mind from pulling us into the abyss of our own negative thinking?

Personally, I got myself out of my downward spiral by searching for statements that I could truly believe in. During what I call it the decade of disaster for a reason I refused to believe I would be a failure and have to declare bankruptcy. My first thought was, “This can’t be all there is for me.” The entire story can be found in my book, Happy Woman Happy World.

That little adjustment to my thoughts is what helped me get from bad to great. At the time, I couldn’t believe I was going to be making millions, but I did believe that declaring bankruptcy would not be the end of my story.

If you want a six-figure income, you’ll never get there if you don’t truly believe you are worth it. And it’s the connection between wanting it and believing it’s possible that can make all the difference. You’ll never close the gap between those two points with a negative mindset.

What is a thought in which you can truly believe? “I am making an impact.” “I will change the world.” “I am creating a better future for my children.” “I am able to operate at a much, much larger scale.” These thoughts are the first steps to a positive mindset.

Be careful to avoid turning these thoughts into their negative opposites. “I am not making the impact I should.” “How could someone like me change the world?” “I am trying to do my best.” “Why don’t they see how good I am?” Practice switching negative statements into positive ones.

Beginning today, I ask you to pay close attention to the way you think. Success will still take hard work, determination, and time. But with a positive mindset, your energy will be flowing in the right direction propelling you forward. Please do let me know how this is going for you—I’d love to hear your story of success!

By Beate Chelette

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Changemakers: The Athena Leadership Column

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Women workingVenture capitalist Jeanne Sullivan’s bio is one that defies history. Hers is the resume that appeared – under a woman’s name – thirty years ahead of the pack. She was a partner in Olivetti, and hammered out 40 tech deals in seven years, which “emboldened me,” she says, as Sullivan was “sitting at the table with the great VCs.”

This led her to co-found StarVest Partners – now a hugely successful VC firm – in 1998, when women angels and VCs in the tech world were mythically rare characters. She is revered today as one of those women who is not only vastly successful, but also down-to-earth, funny, and focused on mentoring younger women in technology.

What is the secret to success?

In this series of Athena Changemakers articles, I want to ask the question: what makes the outliers in women’s leadership, different? What lessons did they teach themselves? What skill sets do they themselves highlight? This set of questions, put to this small, unusual population of female “superachievers”, is critical at our point in US and global history. It is now well documented what institutional hurdles women are facing in the workplace; but far less well documented – since it is much less socially acceptable to talk about. Is the bottom-line learning about what the very successful cadre of female changemakers actually did differently from their equally talented peers? Tracking that ‘difference’ in these unusual women’s approach and perhaps even philosophy is the goal of this series.

In a recent interview, Sullivan identified six guidelines for success for women starting out in the tech field – or in any field.

Rule #1

First, “identify your passion,” she insisted. She knew early on that she herself was “an inner geek”and she comments that “I was the one who wanted to take the watch apart.” She also stresses how important it is to trust one’s own unique sensibilities: “with all the windows out there, I knew one was lit for me.”

Rule #2

Then: “Put role models in front of girls.” “We only were teachers, mommies, nurses and secretaries,” she explains of her generation – but she knew that “I wanted to carry a briefcase. I wanted to be in the business world.”

Rule #3

Her third rule – “Build your networks.” Sullivan’s supportive Italian family of eight kids was a resource for her in boosting her sense that she could do anything. But she explains that with what she calls “intelligent teams”, citing the work of MIT professor Thomas Malone, anyone can create that supportive emotional/ professional environment around herself. In 1980, she joined a law firm that attracted ‘computer geeks” and built her first “kitchen cabinet”. She stresses the value of always cultivating an “intelligent team” of vibrant, supportive men and women to nurture one’s goals. Sullivan makes the case that it is up to the woman to hand-pick this group around her. This guidance is quite different from the usual advice women are given about success in the workplace – advice to adapt and fit in, strategize and suppress. It is startling to consider, as it presumes a truly healthy female consciousness and a revamped social Darwinianism: a woman is actually choosing her own environment to enhance her own chances of success, rather than being at the mercy of her environment.

Rule #4

Her fourth rule for success is surprising in its simplicity: “Go to conferences.” Sullivan did not grow up in privilege – she worked hard to enrich her own environment. She explains that any young woman can take her curiosity and passion – whether it is for fashion, tech, or any sector – and find a conference. It is cheap, she says, or free, to go inside. And if you ask questions, people will tell you anything, she notes. She claims that she learned about the tech world from “covering the floor” at conferences: “Are you hiring?” and “Who are your competitors?” are some of the questions she asked. This easy, practical step “into” a world is actually quite important: the obstacle many young women face in imagining what to do next to realize their professional dreams is a sense of mystification – that the world they want to enter is behind high locked walls with secret passcodes.

Rule #5

Her fifth rule? “Don’t look for ‘Safe”’. Sullivan cautions that women are often risk-averse – a finding that is confirmed by the research compiled at Barnard College’s Athena Center for Leadership Studies. Indeed, the latest peer-reviewed studies show that women in the workplace tend to identify for themselves an aversion to taking bold, strategic risks – along with a reluctance to advocate for themselves, and a hesitation to engage in longterm visioning — as areas in which they themselves would like to grow. Sullivan argues that in today’s world, you should not stay in a safe environment that lacks challenges, but should “punch your ticket and move along” as the landscape for opportunity is so vibrant.

Her most provocative conclusions are grouped under a riff she calls, I think hilariously, “Stupid Things Women Do.” I recognize these from years of watching women pitch, and from presentations to me by young women seeking mentoring. “Be prepared,” she says. “Read the board package! Many women show up to the pitch meeting not fully prepared. Ask them pointed, informed questions. Pitch better! Spit it out of your mouth!” she laughs. “Tell me what you are building!” Indeed, there is often so much anticipatory language – what we in journalism call “throat-clearing” – in women’s pitches, that her advice to get right to the gist of the matter is invaluable.

“How do you get there?” she asks, of that perfect pitch? By testing it with your “personal board of advisors.” She adds that you have to “know how to execute and scale”; that women often “leave off the marketing plan.” Finally, she reminds us, “have domain knowledge” – whatever it is, in the sector in which you want to “play big,” you have to know your field and show that you do.

Finally – back to your “intelligent teams” — call the people around you to open up those doors. “That is what guys do,” she remarks. “They call their buddies. ‘You saw that guy last month – can you get me a meeting?’ Do you know women who do that?” she asks rhetorically, as we all know the answer. Sullivan, in fact, cites a study that shows that if a woman knew her best friend’s husband could fund her venture – she still would not ask him for investment. That hesitation to be “pushy” with one’s peers, alone, is a real disadvantage for women.

The beauty of a role model such as Jeanne Sullivan is that she makes geeky, tech-savvy, knowledgeable, ambitious, even pushy advocacy for one’s own idea – seem really charming, inspiring, amusing, delightful, and eminently do-able. Sullivan sees a different future for the young women of today with their own ventures and dreams: “I see a kinder, gentler user interface of women VCs and Angels” she says. “Not gentler in the sense of softer but – they want you, young women, to succeed.”

With Sullivan’s advice and example, many more of them surely will.

By Naomi Wolf

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Unleash Your Leonardo Da Vinci

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da vinciJust the other day, I was speaking to a colleague, lamenting that we had to be professionally pigeonholed into categories.

Just choose one specialty, even when we have expertise in several others. It’s a sensible marketing strategy, but it feels so one-dimensional and we are multidimensional after all. The truth is that the average person will have as many as five or six different occupations and as many as 10+ jobs by the time he or she retires. We are to select, focus and also diversify to keep up with the emerging global and economic changes, especially in the fields of technology.

I’ve always admired Leonardo Da Vinci for his diverse talents and skill in many different areas in addition to the one he was most famous for-his painting. He was an adept and talented sculptor, musician, architect, mathematician, artist, inventor, engineer, writer, botanist, geologist and the list goes on.

Yes, he was special; yet we have the capacity of flexing our brains like muscles and expanding our talents and versatility like him. Our brains are capable of so much more than we imagine; we have unlimited potential. The key is to unlock it and make use of it! And we can. Leonardo gave us wonderful clues throughout his work, his writing and beliefs to stretch ourselves beyond what we think possible.

Da Vinci speaks of learning how to see and the importance of engaging our senses more fully, truly paying attention in new ways. He encourages us not to take anything for face value; instead, engage in inquiry and research. Test knowledge experientially to uncover truth, and just as importantly live true ourselves and to our life purpose. Rather than give up, be persistent, get comfortable with ambiguity, and be open to learn from mistakes we’ve made. So often, the answers come after much trial and error, not by walking away from a challenge, but by finding novel solutions through perseverance.

Leonardo used many different techniques to stimulate his own creativity, such as looking into various shapes and finding different patterns and associations. To innovate, whether in life or business, we have to look outside of ourselves, outside of the familiar and outside our industry to make new connection and associations. This is out-of- the-box thinking that can help us view challenges and experiences differently and produce unique results.

Da Vinci also spoke a lot about self-mastery which I believe is critical to making inroads in our growth. Not only do we have to show up for ourselves and others, but we need to gain control over our impulses and ourselves for success. Imagine an athlete or musician not being mentally or physically prepared for a concert or a competition; the outcome is likely to be unfavorable. The same principle applies to us. To learn something new and be successful, commitment, action and application are required. When passion is introduced, it’s more potent.

Da Vinci also spoke a lot about self-mastery which I believe is critical to making inroads in our growth.

He urged us to take time out from work in leisure, refresh ourselves and clear our minds which can stimulate new ideas and sprout new perspectives. So often the answers we are looking for appear almost magically when we’re in a relaxed mode. Da Vinci was a strong champion of lifelong learning. Find ways to continuously expand your own knowledge and awareness in many areas including yourself, love and the natural environment. His beliefs about valuing and respecting all of nature and the environment still apply today with the focus on sustainability. An astute observer of nature, man and all things, he believed in the strong interconnectedness of everything.

You can ignite your own creativity by making connections between dissimilar things. At first you won’t know how they can connect, but that’s what gets your brain actively blending up new combinations to amaze you. We each have multiple intelligences that call to be awakened in us Like Da Vinci, awaken them.

Dr Jo Anne White is an International Author and Speaker

Certified Professional Coach who gets to the heart of what matters most to businesses and people. With 25 years in Education, Business, Leadership and Energy Medicine, she’s helped millions of individuals & organizations shape their own dreams, master their own success and triumph in business and life. Dr White’s been featured online and in publications such as Good Housekeeping, More, and WebMD. She’s also appeared on Radio and Television Networks such as NBC, CBS, and FOX. Dr Jo Anne White is the Executive Producer and Host of the POWER YOUR LIFE TV & Radio Shows.

Guest Contribution by Dr. Jo Anne White

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A Single Mom’s Guide to Career Advancement (For Any Working Mom!)

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happy working womenIt was one of those days…rushing to pick up my daughter from daycare, scrambling to make dinner, dealing with an after-hours call from a new boss to discuss an important initiative, while at the same time my daughter was excitedly asking me to come join her for a tea party. That’s when it hit me . . . I was a true single, working mom.

The US Census Bureau cites that in 2012 more than 80% of 12.2 million single parent families were headed by women. That means there are 9.7 million of us dealing with not only the mundane issues of getting the oil changed and folding laundry, but fears about our career options, our personal lives, and that question any parent on a career path faces, “how can I foster professional growth when I have to foster my children’s growth?”

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6 Ways To Refine And Optimize Your LinkedIn Profile

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Guest Contribution by Jennifer Bradshaw

One way of gaining exposure when looking to advance at work is to put your back into it and drag yourself out in the open, into the spotlight.

Now, if you ask me, “how can someone hog the entire spotlight when there are already plenty of entertainers on the stage”, I would say, ‘optimize your presence’. How would I do that? Use social media like LinkedIn!

Being home to over 290 million users all over the world, LinkedIn connect individuals with the professional world, giving them a chance to embrace professional exposure and growth. Yet, according to a survey, only 50.5% of the total users make the most of LinkedIn. What about the rest? Well, the rest of the flock is still missing out on the goodies LinkedIn has to offer since they are just too lazy to optimize their profile.

LinkedIn is a pretty powerful network, but that dominance can only be leveraged to your advantage if only are you aware of its KEY hidden tricks that bring actual results. Here, I will reveal those tricks and educate you how to optimize your LinkedIn profile, aka digital resume, empowering you to make the most of this valuable professional hub.

Customize that Inappropriate Profile URL
It is important to understand that the majority of prospective recruiters, these days, use search engine in their quest to finding the right employee. However, they often fail to do so because some individuals (even well-experienced and skilled ones) totally forget or ignore to optimize their LinkedIn URL. If you don’t want to lose a lucrative opportunity, you need to replace those confusing numbers at the end of your profile URL with your name.

Replace Your Funky Display Pic with an Appropriate Image
Don’t forget that LinkedIn isn’t your social profile, but a professional portfolio. Thus, strip down that inappropriate or funky looking selfie of yours and replace it with a professional portrait. Remember that the first thing that grabs the roving eyes of the employer is your DP. If it is exuding professionalism, the employer won’t hesitate to call you for an interview that very instant. However, if it reflects otherwise, the employer won’t bother to review the rest of the profile.

Make the Best Use of the Headline
Next thing that can be said as the epicenter of your profile success is the headline, written under your original name. It is the area that gives you an opportunity to make your profile standout from the crowd. Brand that headline and make it appealing so that the prospective employer may know who he is dealing with. Make that headline descriptive and use multiple titles to cover the keyword that recruiters usually use to seek candidates.

Expand the Headline Articulately in the Summary
The summary section of your profile reflects the essence of who you are, where your skills and expertise lie and what accomplishments you have attained so far. In other words, it is an area where you stretch out and present all the information that makes you a ‘must-hire’ for a company. Hence, keep it neat, simple, clear and engaging; yet, don’t go overboard with the décor.

Amplify the Credibility of Your Profile with Endorsements
Unlike a traditional paper resume, LinkedIn allows you to not only list down all your skills but also get them endorsed by your connections and thus add credibility to your digital profile. Though it may not be much helpful when it comes to the optimization of your profile, it can certainly generate an air of integrity in your profile that employers most seek.

Take That Credibility to Even Great Heights with Recommendations
Recommendations can be considered as testimonials as well as references, either way they are valuable. It is the feedback on your character, personality, work skills and attitude by people who either know for a long time or have worked with you. Ask recommendations in your connection and don’t forget to return them the favor by recommending them.

Jenifer Bradshaw is a developer and a writer. She assists students in choosing the right career path. She also provides assignment help to students facing problems with their coding assignment. Find her on Facebook.

Guest advice and opinions are not necessarily those of theglasshammer.com

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How Women, an Untapped Workforce, Can Gain a Competitive Edge in Business

Career AssetsIn light of Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella’s recent remarks about women needing to have “faith” in the HR system and rely on “karma” in the workplace rather than directly ask for raises, it’s especially crucial for women to value their own strengths and not be afraid to use them to gain a competitive edge in the workforce.

Although controversial, Nadella’s comments highlight the perpetuated stereotypes of gender roles in business: men are typically accepted as more aggressive, while women are expected to be more yielding and less assertive. Despite accounting for half of the U.S. workforce and surpassing the male population in not only educational attainment, but also professional degrees and work experience, women earn 78% of the compensation received by their male counterparts.

Even though such statistics may be disconcerting, awareness can lead to empowerment, and there are certainly steps women can take in order to stand firm in their own value to the companies they advance.

Take Credit for Your Work
Too often, women let others receive the accolades that they deserve for their own work. Whether it’s a supervisor or coworker, valuable efforts and innovation by individual women are often unacknowledged due to office politics and inadequate communication to upper level management. Despite popular belief, however, it’s entirely possible to make sure that your voice is getting heard without burning the bridges of professional decorum.

After completing a great project, for example, it could be prudent to make sure that your company’s leadership recognizes your role in the undertaking. You could ask for feedback regarding the particular part of the project on which you worked and if there’s anything you can do to help further. It’s essential to make your contribution to the project clear, but deliver the message in a way that simply comes across as being professionally thorough and helpful.

Understand Your Colleagues
A lot of knowing when to take which step comes down to understanding the psychology of the people with whom you work — from the company’s CEO to your assistant. Use your intuition to read the underlying drivers behind attitudes, approaches, and situations. Observe how people like to be treated and what type of interactions they respond to best. This simple insight can give you all the clarity you need in order to say the right thing at the right time, allowing you to form rapport with both coworkers and gatekeepers — and draw attention to your value within the company.

Maximize Your Efforts
Be strategic about where to invest your energy and focus. Even though it’s important to take pride in everything you do, it’s plain that some initiatives are more important than others. It’s helpful to take an objective view of the company and its leadership in order to evaluate which goals and enterprises matter most. Fuel the projects that are important to your workplace’s gatekeepers and the ultimate success of the company; leave the rest alone, unless you have significant passion for them and are committed to seeing them through.

Women Are Still an Untapped Resource
Amazingly, half of workers are now women, but women still represent a largely untapped workforce. In fact, 56 percent of the 20 lowest-paid jobs are performed by women as opposed to just 29 percent of the highest-paid jobs. Yet, according to a report from the White House Council of Economic Advisers, “Recent research has shown that women can help drive innovation and better target female customers and employees.”

Some argue that having children and raising a family is a pivotal factor that interferes with women’s careers, which is why women represent such an untapped workforce; however, we’ve found that a high percentage of moms want to be a part of the workforce and are certainly qualified to do so.

I have not found this to be the case. Zirtual, my own company, is made up of 90% female Zirtual Assistants (ZAs). It’s turned out that the majority of candidates who apply are women (about 50% are stay at home moms) and they have proven to be extremely skilled and well-suited for the position

Besides being qualified and having the right skill sets to excel as ZAs, we’ve also discovered that our female-dominated workforce demonstrates exceptional levels of engagement with work, fellow co-workers, and clients. They tend to be excited about doing their jobs well and ultimately helping other people.

Perhaps it is the flexibility that remote work affords to women that is key in allowing them to truly perform at their best and also handle their other familial responsibilities. Even within full-time corporate positions, providing the flexibility to work from home and integrating policies such as paid family leave can help to reduce barriers to women participating and thriving as much as men do in the workplace. With shared breadwinning and caregiving responsibilities increasingly crossing over gender lines, it only makes sense to grant the same program offerings, such as paternity leave, to men as to women, especially considering that more and more women are entering the workforce.

At the end of the day, there’s strength in numbers. But it’s now perhaps even more important than ever for each individual woman to value the strengths within herself in order to tap into her own competitive edge.

Guest Contribution by Maren Kate Donovan, CEO of Zirtual

Guest advice and opinions not necessarily those of theglasshammer.com

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How To Negotiate Effectively: A Winner’s Guide

Guest Contribution by Molly Fletcher

For nearly two decades, I worked as one of the only female sports agents in the industry, negotiating contracts and marketing deals for a client list of top athletes, coaches and broadcasters. I left my career as a sports agent to start my own company because I believed there were lessons I learned within the sports environment that could help people in the business world become more productive. One of those lessons—how to negotiate effectively—inspired my most recent book, A Winner’s Guide to Negotiating: How Conversation Gets Deals Done.

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How To Negotiate Effectively: A Winner’s Guide

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happy man with womenGuest Contribution by Molly Fletcher

For nearly two decades, I worked as one of the only female sports agents in the industry, negotiating contracts and marketing deals for a client list of top athletes, coaches and broadcasters.

I left my career as a sports agent to start my own company because I believed there were lessons I learned within the sports environment that could help people in the business world become more productive. One of those lessons—how to negotiate effectively—inspired my most recent book, A Winner’s Guide to Negotiating: How Conversation Gets Deals Done.

My advice applies to anyone who wants to be a good negotiator, but is geared specifically towards executive women. Research has shown that there is a social cost for negotiating that is statistically significant for women and not for men. Instead of examining all the complex reasons why that is the case, I focused on how women can be more effective when they enter their next negotiation.

Set the Stage

Setting the stage refers to gathering all types of hard data and marrying it with qualitative information to create a compelling case. When clear standards for negotiation exist, women actually negotiate at about the same rate and just as effectively as men—so the more data you can arm yourself with, the more confident you can be in your ask. It’s also about 360 degree awareness. You have to get clear on the goals, needs, gaps, values and fears of the other side. What do they value? How do they define success? Is this the right time to make the ask?

Add value

The best thing you can do to put yourself in a successful position to negotiate is to find ways to add value. Most negotiations don’t happen in one meeting. They are built over time, through conversations and relationships. The more you can do to add value to these partnerships, the higher your chance of success when you make your ask. Put yourself in the shoes of the other person and determine what gaps exist and how you can be a solution.

Build relationships

Ask yourself, do I have someone within this organization who is willing to go to bat for me? Be intentional about building strong relationships and find someone who you can trust to advocate for you. Some of the most important conversations about your future happen when you aren’t present. Having a senior leader advocate for you is like having an agent negotiating on your behalf.

Be authentic

Too often, women feel pressured to become somebody else when it comes to negotiation. As I share in my book, effective negotiation isn’t a battle between wills, it’s a conversation between people. Approach the negotiation as you would an important conversation. People respond better to consistency and you will be more comfortable with the ebb and flow if you are in your own comfort zone. Use your own strengths to your advantage instead of copying what you perceive to be as the most effective negotiating styles.

The greater good

Research has also revealed that women who negotiate on behalf of others are generally perceived in a positive manner. That’s why it’s particularly important for women to take a big picture approach when negotiating on their own behalf. Frame up the negotiation from the “we” perspective. How is what you are asking for going to benefit the organization as a whole? How have you contributed in ways that have added overall value? The more you can get into the head and heart of the other side, the better you can frame up the conversation as a win-win. Demonstrate that you understand their perspective, and aren’t approaching this conversation from your own self-interest.

Why is negotiation so important for women? First, it’s a small but important piece in closing the wage gap. The importance of negotiation, however, goes beyond just money. When women don’t negotiate, they sacrifice more than just money. They sacrifice opportunity—for training, growth, leadership, recognition and promotions. It becomes a cycle, because in order to change the stereotypes and expectations about women negotiating, we must have women in leadership positions. This was a huge part of my motivation for writing my book—not just to inspire individuals to ask for what they want but to spark a greater conversation that leads to change.

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A mutually beneficial approach to engaging men to advance women

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Elegant leaderMuch of what I read about advancing women’s careers has been from the perspective of women. Although this is an important dialogue that we must continue, we are all—women and men—responsible for maintaining a diverse, inclusive culture. By bringing men—especially business leaders—into the conversation, we can reach the best possible solution, so that everyone walks away from the table feeling like they have gained something.

As part of my role at PwC, I lead a series of dialogues with our male leaders that aim not only to educate but also to provide a forum for talking candidly about the challenges they face as they work to strengthen the sense of inclusion our professionals feel in our firm. Bob Moritz, PwC’s chairman and senior partner, has set the tone at the top by prioritizing diversity and inclusion; creating lasting change, however, this requires that all our partners, principals and staff participate in bringing that vision to life.

We have made significant progress, but this journey requires patience, courage and the ability to communicate across differences. In a negotiation, when the parties stop communicating, the process can break down.

Before I delve into what men stand to gain from supporting the advancement of women, let’s take a look at a few ways communications can break down and what we can do about them:

1) Failed connections – In their recent New York Times article, “Speaking While Female,” Sheryl Sandberg and Adam Grant examined an unpleasant gender bias professional women often face during meetings: the risk of being interrupted and unheard (although a man saying the same thing will get nods of approval) or the risk of being disliked or considered too aggressive. For example, a male TV producer helped craft a solution (no interruptions during pitches) that made the entire team more effective. Had the suggestion come from a woman, it might also have gone unheard – thus highlighting the important role men can play in recognizing subtle biases and leveling the playing field for women, so all perspectives can be heard.

2) Fear of engagement – All too often, even well-meaning men don’t speak up for women because they fear making a mistake or being criticized. For example, some white males at PwC have voiced concerns about being automatically labeled “the bad guys” during diversity discussions. As another article by Adam Grant pointed out, individuals struggle to speak for or help groups with which they don’t identify. That changes once the individuals feel they have a vested interest. Helping men and women build stronger relationships and identify opportunities for mutual gain, such as through candid and collaborative dialogues, can be a big part of the solution.

3) Questioned intent – I’ve also heard from well-meaning men that they sometimes feel that women resist their efforts to reach out. Women either did not realize assistance was being offered or they wanted to prove they could do it on their own. We all need to be more attuned to those around us and give them the benefit of the doubt. And men may need to re-examine their approach to help make sure that it is respectful and authentic without the implication that men are here to solve women’s problems.

So with these potential pitfalls in mind, what do men (and the organizations they work for) stand to gain from stepping out of their comfort zone and helping advance women’s careers?

1) Enhanced leadership skills – Investing in relationships and building trust are key leadership skills. When men sponsor and mentor only those who look like them, they overlook important leadership opportunities and alienate potential allies. At PwC, we require our firm leaders to have had distinctive experiences working with diverse professionals, because we believe it will help them broaden their perspectives, while creating a more inclusive environment.

2) Financial success – Many organizations tie leaders’ salaries and promotions to the success of their unit or the overall organization. Several studies show that organizations perform better when women are well represented. PwC’s own research also demonstrates the critical importance of this issue. Bottom line: Diversity drives innovation—a necessity in today’s fast-changing business world. Moreover, when women feel leaders appreciate their contributions and are optimistic about their professional futures, employee engagement increases and turnover decreases—another win-win, particularly given the shortage of skilled talent.

3) Market relevance – In an increasingly complex and global business environment, the ability to work, manage and communicate with people who are different from you is an essential skill. A better understanding of the challenges for women in the workplace can improve men’s interactions with clients and other stakeholders, who increasingly expect cultural dexterity from service professionals. Men who can easily and effectively work and build bridges with diverse stakeholders create opportunities for themselves and their organizations.

4) Personal gain – Like women, many men are more than just business professionals – they are fathers, husbands, uncles and grandfathers. Research from Catalyst shows that gender equality provides significant personal benefits to men, including better health and enhanced relationships with your spouse or partner.

With a lot to gain and little to lose, all men, particularly the business world’s white male majority, need to join the conversation about advancing women. The launch of the HeForSheCampaign’s “10X10X10” initiative, for which PwC is a founding sponsor, at the World Economic Forum in Davos last month, should help take that conversation to a new level, but we as a society still have a long way to go to drive lasting change.

As I’ve learned in my discussions, this change won’t come naturally to all. Organizations need to create safe forums where both parties can share their perspectives and educate their people, because even the most well-intentioned individuals may have blind spots. Women can help bring men into diversity conversations by inviting male colleagues to participate in women’s networking events and encouraging them to act as “allies.” I also encourage my female colleagues at PwC to reach out to senior male colleagues to find common ground. We are often surprised by how much we share in common, and how much both mentors and mentees learn from each other’s differences.

If both men and women can hear each other out and be open to new perspectives, the result can be a winning proposition for everyone in the room.

By Chris Brassell

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