happy working womenIt was one of those days…rushing to pick up my daughter from daycare, scrambling to make dinner, dealing with an after-hours call from a new boss to discuss an important initiative, while at the same time my daughter was excitedly asking me to come join her for a tea party. That’s when it hit me . . . I was a true single, working mom.

The US Census Bureau cites that in 2012 more than 80% of 12.2 million single parent families were headed by women. That means there are 9.7 million of us dealing with not only the mundane issues of getting the oil changed and folding laundry, but fears about our career options, our personal lives, and that question any parent on a career path faces, “how can I foster professional growth when I have to foster my children’s growth?”

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IWDBy Melissa J. Anderson (New York City)

What is it that keeps women from ascending to executive levels in business in numbers comparable to men? It’s not for lack of commitment or ambition. It’s not a matter of skill level or about being “tough enough.” It’s not even about negative perceptions on women’s ability to turn a profit.

What it is, is bias. It’s a culture created by men and women that offers men greater opportunities to succeed, while holding women to higher standards. And now, finally, the American public is actually coming to terms with the double-standards keeping women out of leadership roles. In fact, in a recent Pew survey, the majority of respondents acknowledged that women do, in fact, face a tougher road to the top, even today.

“Americans widely believe that men have a better shot at leadership positions in business and politics, even as majorities say that men and women make equally good leaders,” the Pew report states.

In the survey, majorities (including both women and men) agreed that there aren’t many women in executive leadership because companies simply aren’t ready to hire women leaders. It was also recognized that it is because women are held to higher standards than men. Yet, respondents also said women would do just as good a job as men.

The Pew study illuminates a point of view The Glass Hammer has supported for many years. That is: women are not the ones who need changing. The reason women are not advancing into senior leadership roles in greater numbers is because they are locked out by institutional, systemic biases that favor men over women implicitly.

Yet, this runs contrary to so much of the professional advice offered to women – to do more of this or less of that, to behave more in one way or another. Lean in, lean out, be nice, be tough, always wear heels, never let them see you cry. These pieces of advice may work for some women or they may not. Many women may find power or inspiration there, while others may find them empty promises. But they will not fix the problem that persists to this day, that the corporate world is set up to give the benefit of the doubt to men over women every time when it comes to promotion and advancement.

As of January, there were only 26 female Fortune 500 CEOs, according to Pew. And it’s taken 20 years to reach that puny five percent threshold. This year’s International Women’s Day theme is “Empowering Women, Empowering Humanity: Picture it!” At this rate, what will the picture of women in leadership be in another twenty years? Is ten percent good enough?

We, as a culture, can do vastly more for women and we should. It will take work by all of us, though, and real acknowledgment from powerful business leaders – both male and female – that double standards are keeping talented, driven women from succeeding. Change starts at the top but is lived by everyone.

Double Standards by the Numbers

Looking at Pew’s numbers, it’s clear that the majority of respondents – a sample of almost 3,000 US adults – agree that women face double standards in the workplace.

Two-thirds of respondents (67 percent) said the reason there aren’t many women running major corporations is that many businesses just “aren’t ready” for to hire women for top jobs. Two in five (43 percent) said this was a “major” reason there weren’t more women in executive positions while 24 percent cited it as a “minor” reason.

Almost the same share (65 percent) of respondents said that women have to “do more to prove themselves,” and the “major” and “minor breakdowns were almost identical.
In comparison, 58 percent of respondents said they believe women’s responsibilities to their families don’t leave much time for executive leadership, with a quarter (23 percent) designating this is a “major” factor that there aren’t more women running companies, while 35 percent cited it as a “minor” factor.

Respondents were also asked to compare whether men or women are more suited toward certain characteristics. A third (34 percent) said women were better at “working out compromises,” while only 9 percent said men were better at that task. Over half (55 percent) said there was no difference between the genders here. Similarly, 31 percent said women were better at being “honest and ethical,” while three percent said men were, and 64 percent said there was no difference between the genders. Three quarters of respondents said there was no difference between the genders when it came to “negotiating deals,” while 18 percent said men were better suited to this task then women, and seven percent said women were better suited to it.

Finally, a third (34%) said men were better at being willing to take risks than women, while five percent said women were better than men at taking risks, and 58 percent said there was no difference between men and women here.

Indeed, men’s propensity for risky behavior has been studied, lauded, condemned, and questioned in equal measure.
Perhaps its time for men, who make up the vast majority of senior business leaders, to take a risk and openly support the advancement of women, by using their influence to challenge unfair workplace institutions and gender biases.

happy man with womenGuest Contribution by Molly Fletcher

For nearly two decades, I worked as one of the only female sports agents in the industry, negotiating contracts and marketing deals for a client list of top athletes, coaches and broadcasters.

I left my career as a sports agent to start my own company because I believed there were lessons I learned within the sports environment that could help people in the business world become more productive. One of those lessons—how to negotiate effectively—inspired my most recent book, A Winner’s Guide to Negotiating: How Conversation Gets Deals Done.

My advice applies to anyone who wants to be a good negotiator, but is geared specifically towards executive women. Research has shown that there is a social cost for negotiating that is statistically significant for women and not for men. Instead of examining all the complex reasons why that is the case, I focused on how women can be more effective when they enter their next negotiation.

Set the Stage

Setting the stage refers to gathering all types of hard data and marrying it with qualitative information to create a compelling case. When clear standards for negotiation exist, women actually negotiate at about the same rate and just as effectively as men—so the more data you can arm yourself with, the more confident you can be in your ask. It’s also about 360 degree awareness. You have to get clear on the goals, needs, gaps, values and fears of the other side. What do they value? How do they define success? Is this the right time to make the ask?

Add value

The best thing you can do to put yourself in a successful position to negotiate is to find ways to add value. Most negotiations don’t happen in one meeting. They are built over time, through conversations and relationships. The more you can do to add value to these partnerships, the higher your chance of success when you make your ask. Put yourself in the shoes of the other person and determine what gaps exist and how you can be a solution.

Build relationships

Ask yourself, do I have someone within this organization who is willing to go to bat for me? Be intentional about building strong relationships and find someone who you can trust to advocate for you. Some of the most important conversations about your future happen when you aren’t present. Having a senior leader advocate for you is like having an agent negotiating on your behalf.

Be authentic

Too often, women feel pressured to become somebody else when it comes to negotiation. As I share in my book, effective negotiation isn’t a battle between wills, it’s a conversation between people. Approach the negotiation as you would an important conversation. People respond better to consistency and you will be more comfortable with the ebb and flow if you are in your own comfort zone. Use your own strengths to your advantage instead of copying what you perceive to be as the most effective negotiating styles.

The greater good

Research has also revealed that women who negotiate on behalf of others are generally perceived in a positive manner. That’s why it’s particularly important for women to take a big picture approach when negotiating on their own behalf. Frame up the negotiation from the “we” perspective. How is what you are asking for going to benefit the organization as a whole? How have you contributed in ways that have added overall value? The more you can get into the head and heart of the other side, the better you can frame up the conversation as a win-win. Demonstrate that you understand their perspective, and aren’t approaching this conversation from your own self-interest.

Why is negotiation so important for women? First, it’s a small but important piece in closing the wage gap. The importance of negotiation, however, goes beyond just money. When women don’t negotiate, they sacrifice more than just money. They sacrifice opportunity—for training, growth, leadership, recognition and promotions. It becomes a cycle, because in order to change the stereotypes and expectations about women negotiating, we must have women in leadership positions. This was a huge part of my motivation for writing my book—not just to inspire individuals to ask for what they want but to spark a greater conversation that leads to change.

Elegant leaderMuch of what I read about advancing women’s careers has been from the perspective of women. Although this is an important dialogue that we must continue, we are all—women and men—responsible for maintaining a diverse, inclusive culture. By bringing men—especially business leaders—into the conversation, we can reach the best possible solution, so that everyone walks away from the table feeling like they have gained something.

As part of my role at PwC, I lead a series of dialogues with our male leaders that aim not only to educate but also to provide a forum for talking candidly about the challenges they face as they work to strengthen the sense of inclusion our professionals feel in our firm. Bob Moritz, PwC’s chairman and senior partner, has set the tone at the top by prioritizing diversity and inclusion; creating lasting change, however, this requires that all our partners, principals and staff participate in bringing that vision to life.

We have made significant progress, but this journey requires patience, courage and the ability to communicate across differences. In a negotiation, when the parties stop communicating, the process can break down.

Before I delve into what men stand to gain from supporting the advancement of women, let’s take a look at a few ways communications can break down and what we can do about them:

1) Failed connections – In their recent New York Times article, “Speaking While Female,” Sheryl Sandberg and Adam Grant examined an unpleasant gender bias professional women often face during meetings: the risk of being interrupted and unheard (although a man saying the same thing will get nods of approval) or the risk of being disliked or considered too aggressive. For example, a male TV producer helped craft a solution (no interruptions during pitches) that made the entire team more effective. Had the suggestion come from a woman, it might also have gone unheard – thus highlighting the important role men can play in recognizing subtle biases and leveling the playing field for women, so all perspectives can be heard.

2) Fear of engagement – All too often, even well-meaning men don’t speak up for women because they fear making a mistake or being criticized. For example, some white males at PwC have voiced concerns about being automatically labeled “the bad guys” during diversity discussions. As another article by Adam Grant pointed out, individuals struggle to speak for or help groups with which they don’t identify. That changes once the individuals feel they have a vested interest. Helping men and women build stronger relationships and identify opportunities for mutual gain, such as through candid and collaborative dialogues, can be a big part of the solution.

3) Questioned intent – I’ve also heard from well-meaning men that they sometimes feel that women resist their efforts to reach out. Women either did not realize assistance was being offered or they wanted to prove they could do it on their own. We all need to be more attuned to those around us and give them the benefit of the doubt. And men may need to re-examine their approach to help make sure that it is respectful and authentic without the implication that men are here to solve women’s problems.

So with these potential pitfalls in mind, what do men (and the organizations they work for) stand to gain from stepping out of their comfort zone and helping advance women’s careers?

1) Enhanced leadership skills – Investing in relationships and building trust are key leadership skills. When men sponsor and mentor only those who look like them, they overlook important leadership opportunities and alienate potential allies. At PwC, we require our firm leaders to have had distinctive experiences working with diverse professionals, because we believe it will help them broaden their perspectives, while creating a more inclusive environment.

2) Financial success – Many organizations tie leaders’ salaries and promotions to the success of their unit or the overall organization. Several studies show that organizations perform better when women are well represented. PwC’s own research also demonstrates the critical importance of this issue. Bottom line: Diversity drives innovation—a necessity in today’s fast-changing business world. Moreover, when women feel leaders appreciate their contributions and are optimistic about their professional futures, employee engagement increases and turnover decreases—another win-win, particularly given the shortage of skilled talent.

3) Market relevance – In an increasingly complex and global business environment, the ability to work, manage and communicate with people who are different from you is an essential skill. A better understanding of the challenges for women in the workplace can improve men’s interactions with clients and other stakeholders, who increasingly expect cultural dexterity from service professionals. Men who can easily and effectively work and build bridges with diverse stakeholders create opportunities for themselves and their organizations.

4) Personal gain – Like women, many men are more than just business professionals – they are fathers, husbands, uncles and grandfathers. Research from Catalyst shows that gender equality provides significant personal benefits to men, including better health and enhanced relationships with your spouse or partner.

With a lot to gain and little to lose, all men, particularly the business world’s white male majority, need to join the conversation about advancing women. The launch of the HeForSheCampaign’s “10X10X10” initiative, for which PwC is a founding sponsor, at the World Economic Forum in Davos last month, should help take that conversation to a new level, but we as a society still have a long way to go to drive lasting change.

As I’ve learned in my discussions, this change won’t come naturally to all. Organizations need to create safe forums where both parties can share their perspectives and educate their people, because even the most well-intentioned individuals may have blind spots. Women can help bring men into diversity conversations by inviting male colleagues to participate in women’s networking events and encouraging them to act as “allies.” I also encourage my female colleagues at PwC to reach out to senior male colleagues to find common ground. We are often surprised by how much we share in common, and how much both mentors and mentees learn from each other’s differences.

If both men and women can hear each other out and be open to new perspectives, the result can be a winning proposition for everyone in the room.

By Chris Brassell