Lean into Confidence

Confidence is a big deal. It’s one of the biggest differences between men and women in the workplace. According to this infographic by Invisalign, women underestimate their abilities and performance even though their performance does not differ in quality from that of their male counterparts. It’s a common theme in the gender discourse. Men are overconfident in their abilities, while women struggle to advocate for themselves, particularly for things like equal pay.

And it shows. Women hold more than 50 percent of college degrees and more than 40 percent of MBAs, according to the KPMG Women’s Leadership Study, but less than 5 percent of Fortune 500 companies have female CEOs. Somewhere in the stretch between college and high-level positions, women get lost.

Young women enter the workplace full of confidence, with 43 percent aspiring to top manager roles. However, after a mere two years on the job, these levels drop to below 25 percent. There’s something that happens after women enter the workforce that steals away their enthusiasm.

It may be easy to say, “Yes, but women take a long break mid-career to have children.” Trust me – I have 3 kids, ages 4-8, and am compassionate for the unique type of stress working mothers face. Did having children require me to push pause on my career?Absolutely not.Does being an executive make me a better mother?For me, it does. My career completes me and sets a wonderful example of a strong woman for my three young boys.Recently, Marissa Mayer announced that she would not be taking a full maternity leave.I applaud her for being confident enough in herself to make that decision under intense public scrutiny.I have no doubt that her children are cared for and loved, and I am certain that her girls will grow up to be incredibly proud of the strong, female leader they get to call mom.

Leaders are created at a young age, and young girls aren’t encouraged to lead the same way that boys are. The “ban bossy” movement has been targeting this social phenomenon by giving parents the tools they need to embolden their daughters.

Of course, that’s all great for the women of the future, but what about us? What about those of us in the workforce striving to become CEOs of our own companies? We can’t wait around for the next generation to change what we want changed for ourselves.

If you feel as though you’re being held back in your career by a lack of self-confidence, do the following three things:

1. Define Your Own Success

Not everyone wants to be CEO of a Fortune 500 company. That’s ok. Maybe you want to grow your own company, or run a nonprofit, or be a mentor. It is important to define your own success early on in your career. Following a path predetermined by society will only make you unhappy in the long run. Really spend time thinking about your long-term goals.
This will ultimately make big decisions easier further on in your career. When you’re offered a new position, or you take on a new job, you can measure it against your long-term career goals and decide if it’s helping you move in the right direction.I was recently asked to run for Congress, and, as attractive as that may sound, it wasn’t compatible with my career goals.Not only did that make turning down that opportunity easier, it made me more self-assured in my decision.

2. Support Other Women

Women get a bad rap for not supporting other women. We’re sometimes envious of the way men can bond and connect in a way that women feel they can’t – we call it the “boy’s club.”
In reality, things aren’t actually as far off for women. Columbia Business School conducted a study and found that the “Queen Bee Syndrome,” in which women in power are more critical of female subordinates, is actually a myth.

Women do have a strong network that’s just as good as any boy’s club. Spend time cultivating your relationships, and support the women around you.

3. Stay Hungry

The best way to boost your own confidence is to excel at what you do. Never settle for just completing a task when you can blow it out of the water. Take on projects that are outside your comfort zone, and constantly work toward making yourself better.

Society is changing for the next generation, but you have to make change happen for you. Work at being self-confident, and others will be confident in you too.

By Melissa Beck