Lessons from Female Veterans: Command with Confidence

Guest Contribution by Col. Jill Morgenthaler

If you wish to lead, you need to demonstrate confidence. If you don’t have the conviction that you can lead, why would anyone follow?

In 1996, as a lieutenant colonel, I was a peacekeeper in Bosnia. War had turned neighbor against neighbor, and many villages bore the evidence of ethnic cleansing: houses were blown up, men and boys murdered, and women and girls dragged to sex camps. Many villages had stockpiled weapons to protect themselves from outsiders.

After the Dayton Peace Accords were signed by the warring parties, rules were put in place, especially for the settling of differences through peaceful means. One village violated the accord. As a result, the commanding general ordered a U.S. Army brigade to seize its weapons. Communications were terrible in war-torn Bosnia, so the commanding general informed me that he wanted me at the brigade command post to be his eyes and ears.

By the time I arrived, the brigade commander had already headed to the armory and was confiscating weapons. I remained in the battle room, listening to the radio transmissions between the fort and the commander. A lieutenant appeared at my side and informed me that four Bosnian colonels wanted to meet with me. I looked at him in surprise.

“Me? I don’t work here.”
“Yes, Ma’am, but you are the highest-ranking officer here.”
I looked around. He was right.
“Oh, and Ma’am, the colonels have with them about 200 villagers, and they’re really mad.”

I wanted to say again, “I don’t work here.” Or, “Can’t someone else do the job?” Or, “I’m scared.” Instead I responded with the Army term for agreement, “Hooah!” I put my bulletproof vest back on, checked that I had my Beretta 9 mm pistol, and headed to the door of the fortress.

As I stepped out of the fort, I was shocked to see that behind the four big Bosnian colonels were villagers armed with two-by-four wood planks and big rocks. I felt like Frankenstein facing the angry crowd. I took a deep breath, stood tall, looked at the sky, smiled upward, and then lowered my head, keeping the smile.

“Gentlemen, I’m pleased to meet you. I’m Colonel Morgenthaler.”

The four colonels gaped in amazement. They had never expected a woman colonel to appear. As they stood there stunned, I took advantage of their surprise. “I understand your concerns for your weapons. When you begin to follow the Dayton Peace Accords, we’ll be more than happy to return them. I see you have nothing to say, so I’ll say goodbye.”

I saluted them, turned around, and closed the door to the fort. They remained there briefly and then left, the crowd along with them. That day a woman was the best man for the job.

One of the most important attributes you must have and demonstrate is confidence. People will not listen to you or follow you if you are not a confident leader. As a leader, you may find yourself in a situation where you are unsure or even scared, but you cannot show it. I have been in dangerous situations in Bosnia, Iraq, and the DMZ in South Korea. I’ve been spit on, screamed at, and threatened with a slashing hand sign against the throat. Maintaining your cool and composure will help you command the situation.

Here are a few of my tried-and-true techniques:

1. Breathe: Before entering dangerous situations, firefighters, police officers, and emergency responders are trained to breathe in for four seconds, hold for four seconds, and release for four seconds. This technique helps you stay focused in the moment, pushing anxiety and fear to the side. Practice this technique before you face boards, bosses, and big problems.

2. Stand tall: If your mother taught you to stand up straight, thank her. It does not matter if you are 6’4” or 4’6”, standing tall displays confidence. One day I heard a soldier tell another soldier that I was 5’11”. Later, I corrected her by telling her that I am 5’7”. She smiled and said, “Ma’am, you stand as if you’re 5’11”.

3. Look up: This technique is great before you make a presentation in a boardroom, face the media, or walk onstage in front of hundreds of people. Stand tall, look up, smile, lower your head, and keep the smile. You will exude confidence.

4. Keep your humor: When a man spat on me during a confrontation at another Bosnian village, my soldiers pulled their weapons and aimed them at him and others. I knew that I could not let anyone be hurt because I had spit running down my uniform. I looked at the spit, I looked at him, and I laughed. The others with him started to laugh, too. No one was hurt that day.

Appearing confident will carry the day.

Guest advice and opinions are not necessarily those of The Glass Hammer