Our Internal Relationships Lead to Success
Guest Contribution by John Keyser
The better our relationships, the more effectively and efficiently we can achieve our desired outcomes.
The paradox is that the quality of our relationships is best established without a motive – not because this person can help me, but rather because I am genuinely interested in this person, I want to learn what she does, and perhaps how I can help her.
One of my very favorite books, The 100/0 Principle by Al Ritter proposes that a relationship should not be 50/50; we should offer our whole self to it. There should be no judgment, no qualification. This means, I want to be your colleague, teammate or friend regardless of what kind of car you drive or whether you can help me in my business.
Why is this important? When two people connect because of mutual respect and admiration, they form a genuine bond that opens the door to trust. They can share ideas and simply enjoy each other – not trying to one-up the other, just asking questions to understand and learn. By exchanging stories, they discover, hey, I have something that might help you. This is exactly what good business relationships are about. These conversations are way more important than emails, newsletters, videos or conference calls.
Too often, though, top executives spend the vast majority of their time together.
We must realize that the work of our company is done at all levels and out in the field, working with our clients and customers, and behind the scenes. Every member of our team is important and makes a difference.
We need to reach out to the people doing the work of the company! When we do, and we ask them for advice, feedback and help, we show humility and quiet confidence. These are very attractive qualities in a leader. This is how we build trust and inspire mutual success.
This is an area where men could learn from women. Women tend to connect with people regardless of whether they are in their immediate circle, and that is good for organizational culture and morale.
This week I had the privilege of participating in a leadership development workshop with regional leaders of Billy Casper Golf, the acknowledged leader in the field of golf course management. This is a company with a unique organizational spirit – highly capable people working very hard, who genuinely like and root for one another. They are teammates around the country sharing ideas and offering feedback to one another. Billy Casper Golf exemplifies the power of a true team!
In the leadership workshop, we discussed relationships at all levels: on the golf course, in the pro shop, in the restaurant, and throughout the property. The focus was — the better the relationships, the better the quality of work done and the better the golfer experience. One session I attended included about 60 golf course superintendents, agronomists who have the vital, demanding responsibility of caring for the course conditions. They went around the room one by one and discussed how they engage each and every team member. All of them said they made a point to have one-on-one conversations, asking for ideas and advice, seeking feedback, listening intentionally to understand and learn, and expressing their appreciation. They discussed the goal of having everyone take pride in their work, and used the example of someone on the grounds crew raking a sand trap perfectly so the golfers would fully enjoy playing their course.
As a student of leadership, I can tell you that I was very impressed that these superintendents are a group of highly effective leaders. No question, their successes are due to their strong internal relationships.
Tom Peters, esteemed professor of management at Stanford and author of In Search of Excellence, one of the early great business books, said if we take good care of our people, they will take good care of our clients. So true!
Too busy for conversations, even short conversations? Give away some of your responsibilities. One of the superintendents at the meeting said, “There is nothing more important than our people, I don’t want to hear that we don’t have time for conversations with them!”
As a leader, internal relationships are our duty!
John Keyser is the founder and principal of Common Sense Leadership, www.commonsenseleadership.com. He works with executives helping them develop organizational cultures that will produce outstanding financial results year after year, and a striving for continuous improvement, theirs and their team’s.
