Finding Balance between Work and Family – How to Avoid Missing Out

By Kelly Tanner

The long-standing struggle to find balance between work and family has left many women wishing for an easier path.

When asked about their primary reasons for leaving jobs in Corporate America, women state concern that they are missing out on quality moments and milestones with their children. This absence is made more poignant when they feel that their job is not meaningful or has stalled. A recent study by Elle Magazine and the Center for American Progress revealed that both men (46%) and women (51%) think that family is the main reason why there aren’t more women business leaders. A lack of mentors and contemporaries within an organization can contribute to this dissatisfaction and create a sense of isolation, though in truth this predicament is quite common.

Stella Compiseno, who after 12 years in institutional equity sales and trading, left to start a lifestyle blog, said that her initial impulse to leave was a desire to balance work and family.

“The tipping point came [when] I had a two-year-old son and was pregnant with my daughter. I was spread too thin across all areas of my life. I was also preparing for a four-month departure from day-to-day client contact, which can be a tough setback,” Compiseno said. “Personally, I was missing out on my son’s milestones due to the demands of my job. Between early morning commutes and meetings, and late night client engagements, I felt my personal priorities were slipping away.”

Compesino’s employer attempted to provide benefits to support work-life balance, providing a generous maternity leave policy and a job sharing program. What looks good on paper within an organization often doesn’t really work as designed in real life, as Compesino found out.

“Likewise, job sharing is equally challenging for me and the company. Large institutional clients appreciate consistency and relationships are crucial to building the business. If you’re not around a few days a week, you miss out,” Compesino said.

Companies that are rated highly for their commitment to work-life balance often offer such benefits as on-site child care or voluntary benefits for parents to coordinate child care more easily. These benefits offer a return on investment for the employer as well, with researching showing that employees who take advantage of them work up to 20 percent harder.

Amy Zhang, a former audit manager, went on to form her own company, Affinity Fund Services, after finding herself reflecting deeply on what was right for her after an interaction with a colleague.

“When one of my ex-coworkers broke her arm during the busy season, she said it wasn’t a bad thing. She had to stay home for recovery and her kids got a chance to spend time with her. She said, ‘I even had time to comb my hair.’ It was sad to me that you had to break your arm to keep a close relationship with your own kids.”

Beyond random programmatic solutions, it would seem that a deeper look at ensuring that an employee has an appropriate workload level and the room to maintain crucial relationships while out of the office. A study by the American Journal of Applied Sciences indicated that employee situations and workload had a direct impact on performance level, and manager awareness of these issues could result in empowered decision-making when allocating work.

Access to peers and mentors among other professional women – or the lack of them – can also significantly impact a women professional’s career longevity. Mina Black, a former Merrill Lynch advisor, left her role to found Wealth Essentials Money Management in part because of this missing element.

“I noticed that my career didn’t look how I had imagined it. I was having second thoughts about my role, my future. I didn’t have someone to turn to and discuss my career options with and that’s when I made the difficult decision to leave,” Black said.

Black says she often tells young women that they should be willing to take risks with their career and that they shouldn’t be afraid to speak up.

“I tell them to not only get a mentor early in their career, but to work hard and make it so that a mentor will want to work with them. Don’t worry about having it all, just think about having your all, because your all may be different from my all and there’s nothing wrong with that,” Black said.

All of the women interviewed admitted to having no other women to network and communicate with about their career decisions. The male-dominated finance industry often left little room for connecting with one another in the workplace.

In Black’s case, her company appears to have since made significant effort to retain employees like her by eventually implementing a women’s mentorship program, a move Black approves of.

“I thought it was long overdue,” she says. “I wish that it would’ve started years earlier. By the time the program came, I was on my way out, but I was hopeful that the next crop of young women would have someone that would guide them.”

Studies show that companies earn competitive advantage by not only promoting but actively implementing and supporting coaching and mentoring of employees. Those that do this are more likely to attract and retain strong talent.

Adoption of such programs and demonstrated support for women’s networking groups by senior staff could help ensure that women entering careers in financial services today or developing into more challenging roles will have more support than before.

A mentor or network won’t guarantee career longevity, but they may help to maintain the critical balance of fulfillment between work and family life.