Leaning Toward Support: Bringing Men Into the Movement

By Terry Selucky (Los Angeles)

“If men have taken the C-suite hostage, then Lean In presents with underlying symptoms the Stockholm syndrome,” writes James Allworth, in a recent Harvard Business Review blog post entitled “It’s Not Women Who Should Lean In, It’s Men Who Should Step Back.”

After reading Sheryl Sandberg’s controversial bestseller, Allworth asks that we examine closely the strategies of Lean In. He states that the book’s encouragement to women to be “more like men” is counterproductive in the workplace and in the world at large. He discusses Lean In’s example of a study of students in a surgery rotation which revealed that, when each individual was asked to self-evaluate, female students gave themselves lower scores than their male classmates did, despite faculty evaluations that showed the women outperformed the men.

The bottom line: Women outperformed the men. But Allworth highlights that Sandberg found fault with the women’s lack of confidence, urging them to “fake it until they make it,”

He then asks: “But is this really good advice?”

Allworth suggests that the breakdown in male students’ performance was directly linked to their swagger, that the ones more confident in their ability were less likely to “do the hard yards” in preparation. He asks that, contrary to Sandberg’s advice in Lean In which asks women to adopt habits of men, men explore what they can learn from women.

But will men “leaning back” really lead to equality at the top? What’s the magic formula to positive social change?

Meaningful to Mainstream

Throughout US history, social movements have always required support from the majority group in order to gain traction. Only two months before President Lyndon Johnson signed into law the Voting Rights Act of 1965, he gave the commencement address at Howard University, stating, “You do not take a person who, for years, has been hobbled by chains and liberate him, bring him up to the starting line of a race and then say you are free to compete with all the others, and still just believe that you have been completely fair.”

Even before Johnson, civil rights got a boost in 1941 from FDR’s Executive Order 8802, creating the Fair Employment Practices Committee, the mother of affirmative action. In 1954, Brown vs. Board of Education shifted the landscape of race relations in the US. Later, in the 1960s, white supporters of racial equality joined marches and sit-ins, creating a cultural tipping point for mainstream America.

Likewise, gay rights have been championed by politicians and celebrities through legislation and campaigns such as the It Gets Better Project.

Arguably, the women’s movement has gotten the public support of men for nearly 100 years. It’s been a long time since women were granted the right to vote in 1920. Yet even after Rosie the Riveter, Title IX, and the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act in 2009, we’ve got one of the only female billionaires in the world talking about how women still get 70 cents on the dollar. Not that the issues within civil rights or gay rights have been solved, but women’s earnings, as a percentage of men’s, have halted. So what’s the hold-up?

What’s Best for Everyone

“On paper, at least, women have the same rights as men,” Allworth, who is also a fellow at the Forum for Growth & Innovation at the Harvard Business School, told me. “What we’re talking about are elements that are much more subtle – for example, for a variety of cultural and social reasons, women find it harder to get into leadership roles in organizations.”

Despite years of Congressional support, the Women’s Liberation Movement, first-, second-, third- and now fourth-wave feminism, women are still unequal in the workplace. But if “leaning in” simply prolongs bad habits created by working men, what about Allworth’s suggestion? Do men need to adopt the habits of women?

“Part of the problem is framing the argument in terms of gender,” writes Allworth. “As soon as you do that, it turns into zero sum game where the aim is to win the most number of executive positions … A better way to be thinking about it is instead: what will result in the best outcome for each individual?”

Ultimately, Allworth suggests that one must assess priorities for her or himself and allocate resources according to those priorities. “We’re all leaning into a system which is broken,” he writes. “[L]ots of the folks who had traditionally leant in ended up falling over. It might not happen straight away, but invariably, it does happen.”

Building a Better Workplace

“The rationale for men stepping back … is simple,” writes Allworth, “because the starting point needs to be what creates the best long-term outcome for the individual involved.”

If we are all responsible for our parts, then not only can women be more vocal about their ambition, men can invite themselves to be a bigger part of the conversation. Groups like Men Advocating Real Change (MARC) provide a candid forum in which men can focus solely on progressing toward gender equality, adopting best practices for all. It is their belief that we all benefit from raising the bar for both genders.

Success will also come from women acknowledging men for their work. Marlo Thomas, actress, producer, and well-known feminist who is a regular contributor to The Huffington Post, wrote a recent piece celebrating men who “Get It” (much like our feature, Men Who Get It highlighting our favorite male feminists). In it, she opens with a riddle:

“A trucker is sitting in a bar next to a feminist. They’ve both had a lot to drink and they’re arguing. The feminist says women have been oppressed for centuries — the trucker says they haven’t. The feminist says women deserve equal pay — the trucker says they don’t. The feminist says a woman should be president — the trucker just laughs. They simply don’t see eye to eye.

“What’s the one thing the trucker and the feminist have in common?”

Go on – before you look, give it a guess. No fair peeking.

“They’re both men.”

Hopefully one day soon, this “big reveal” will not surprise us. Civil rights needed white people. Gay people need straight people. We can achieve equality, but only if we make the effort, look beyond ourselves and into the big picture, and open the door for our neighbors, women and men.