Women Who Care Too Much (About Work)

Contributed by Katherine Crowley and Kathi Elster

We are frequently told by CEOs that their female employees are the best performers because they care so deeply and take such pride in their work. This is not surprising. Relational by nature, most women join companies with the desire to be part of a team, to connect with the other players, and to deliver outstanding results.

The upside of women caring at work is the seriousness with which we take our positions and our responsibilities. Gifted at relationship building, women are also skilled at forming solid connections with both colleagues and clients. Women professionals naturally “tend and befriend,” expressing interest in both the business needs and personal concerns of those around them.

The down side of the female tendency to invest so much of themselves in work could be described as “caring too much.” It can be more difficult for women to “unplug” at the end of a long workday. Interactions with coworkers, customers, and vendors tend to “stick” and replay in our minds. And women can take workplace transactions too personally – letting negative feedback or criticism take a heavy toll on their self-esteem.

  • How many women have a hard time leaving work at the office – spending evenings and weekends worrying about who they may have let down or who they need to impress?
  • How often do women reel from negative feedback, or obsess over someone’s insensitive remarks?
  • How many women become overly invested in their client relationships – responding at any hour of the day or night to sudden requests from demanding accounts?

As the number of professional women continues to grow, and women attain higher positions of responsibility and authority, it becomes increasingly important to temper the caring that is inherently female so that we can succeed in our careers without burning out. We need to find ways to care less while accomplishing more. We need skills to disentangle ourselves from the interpersonal webs that can zap our energy and cloud our focus.

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Movers and Shakers: Joi Gordon, CEO, Dress for Success Worldwide

By Melissa J. Anderson (New York City)

Joi Gordon, CEO of Dress for Success Worldwide, is a strong believer in women helping women – and she’s happy to help dispel some of old stereotypes about female leaders.

“Some twenty years ago, there was a perception that women weren’t nice to each other,” Gordon said. “When I entered the workforce I was prepared to not be supported by women and to have to fight for my place. But that fight is not one I had to fight.”

“That perception was not real, and I’m proud to say that,” she continued. “Where I am today is because of strong women who lifted me up, supported me, and gave me the guidance I needed.”

Gordon’s organization, Dress for Success, is wholly based on the notion of women helping one another advance – when one woman donates a suit, she helps change another woman’s life.

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Three Critical Factors for Career Advancement in Technology

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People around a laptopRecently, The Glass Hammer hosted its Third Annual Women in Technology networking event, sponsored by American Express. Our panelists discussed how they advanced through the ranks to become senior leaders within their organizations.

Moderator Jennifer Christie, Chief Diversity Officer at American Express, noted that while each woman had a very different career path, there were some identifiable threads of similarity – specifically, recognizing male sponsors, taking risks, and leveraging problem solving skills.

Our panelists included Hanna Derry, Managing Director Technology, Blackrock Investment Management; Avis Yates Rivers, CEO, Technology Concepts; Joyce Ulrich, CIO, Legg Mason Global Asset Management; and Gabrielle Vitale, SVP and Chief Information Security Officer, American Express.

Christie also commented that a big trait each of the panelists displayed was a desire for growth. Throughout their careers, the women identified their next step, made it known what they wanted, and then set out to achieve it. “As they made that next move, it was something they saw out there and went for it – they decided ‘this is what I want and I’m going to go for it.’”

1. Finding Male Champions

It can be difficult for women in technology to find their niche and break through to leadership in the male dominated technology workspace. Yates Rivers believes a big part of this comes down to confidence. “On the company side and on the customer side, most of the people I interact with are men. But I have noticed that women will tend to doubt themselves and won’t take as many risks in general,” she explained. “Or they won’t give themselves individual contributor credit. They’ll say, ‘the team did this,’ whereas men will say, ‘I did this.’”

A big factor in developing breakthrough confidence comes from gaining the support of coworkers and superiors. In fact, in recent years, sponsorship has been increasingly recognized as one of those game-changing factors for advancement. Sponsors are senior, influential people who champion the individuals they believe in. They may put them up for promotions or suggest them for stretch assignments. In return, protégées support them and come through on the assignments they’ve been sponsored into.

The event’s keynote speaker Catherine Ashcraft, Head of Research at the National Center for Women and Information Technology (NCWIT), gave a presentation on forthcoming research on the subject of male champions. “Men are often the leaders and gatekeepers in the technology environment. It’s important to understand men’s experiences and what motivates them,” she explained, specifically when it comes to championing women and diversity on their teams.

Ashcraft said prime candidates for male gender champions are men who have had female mentors, who have daughters or working wives, who have noticed inequities on their own teams and worked to correct them, or who see themselves as a minority as well.

She encouraged women to feel free to tell their own stories about what it is like to be a woman working in technology. “We want to help men who want to be advocates but are not sure how.”

Several of the panelists also discussed men who championed their advancement. Ulrich explained how she chose her first job out of college based on which boss she felt would be the best champion. She said, “I recognized that this was a guy who seemed to really care about people in that company – now I know that he was a sponsor.” Similarly, Derry broke into the tech space when a male champion who interviewed her for a job took a chance on her. She recalled, “He said, ‘you have none of the skills we need right now, but I see potential in you. I’d like to hire you and we’ll find you something to do.’”

2. Taking Risks

Yates Rivers, who founded her own company after working for Exxon for many years, said that an appetite for risk is a critical part of being an entrepreneur. She explained, “I just felt internally that I needed to direct my own path. Starting out in Corporate America is great. But if you have an inner desire or an innate desire to be your own boss in technology, then there is that possibility.”

Now, she is driven by the ability to develop solutions for her clients. “Being a sales person has taught me a lot about how to negotiate and ask for what you want.”

Similarly, Vitale’s own reinvention brought her into the technology field. After working in CFO roles for a time, she was offered the role of Chief Information Security Officer at American Express by one of the company’s presidents she had gotten to know well and who trusted her (sponsorship again). She accepted the stretch role because of his support. “I’ve thrived here,” she said, “because I’m so fascinated. I’ve forced myself into very uncomfortable positions to keep learning.”

Ulrich also took a big risk when advocating for transformational change at Legg Mason – and wound up with a new and exciting role. The company was in the process of dismantling its centralized technology division, but she saw an opportunity and made the case to senior management to transform what was essentially a “keep the lights on” model into a “grow the business” model. She convinced them to explore outsourcing the technology functions that were really commodities, and “take the budget headroom that outsourcing would create and spend on innovation,” she recalled. “I said if you think that this approach makes sense, then I’ll throw my hat into the ring for CIO.” And that’s exactly what happened.

3. Leveraging Your Problem Solving Skills

Both Vitale and Derry discussed how they leveraged their personal skills to help them advance. Vitale, who has spent her entire career at American Express, said the early skills she developed as a college student working in customer service for the company have benefited her throughout every stage of her advancement. “I learned to listen and understand people, which helps when you are doing problem solving. And problem solving really helped me understand how to navigate.” She continued, “Don’t underestimate some of those early job skills. You learn something with every experience and carry it forth.”

Derry began her career in technology without having a traditional technical background, but when she started working in the space, she managed to catch up through a lot of studying and hard work, she recalled. She explained that her skills as a problem solver also helped her advance to leadership. “One thing I’ve learned is that when you raise your hand and say I don’t understand this, more people are willing to say so too. I think that helps you because then you are fixing things from a consensus-driven standpoint.”

By Melissa J. Anderson (New York City)

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Five Leadership Practices to Make Work Transitions Easier

Contributed by CEO Coach Henna Inam

Are you going through a work transition or contemplating it? Unhappy in your current role but feel stuck or unsure about what to do next? The economy has many people going through transitions right now.

True story. A senior level sales leader came to me 12 months ago very clear that her work situation was not working for her. Her company, under pressure to increase profits, had raised prices dramatically. As customers quickly shifted to competitors, she was being held accountable for lost sales. As the primary bread earner in her family she couldn’t just quit her job, yet the pressure was untenable. She felt stuck. She approached me for executive coaching to transition to a company that had a more sustainable business strategy and would be a better fit. Soon after we started working together she ended up losing her job due to layoffs at her company.

Here are five leadership practices that helped her get to a job that was a much better fit for her.

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Questions are Our Best Friends

Contributed by John Keyser, Founder and Principal of Common Sense Leadership

Have you heard this quotation from Rudyard Kipling? “My six best friends’ names are Who, What, Where, When and Why.”

As a leadership consultant and coach who emphasizes the value of purposeful questions, I’d like to change the quotation. In business, it’s more apt to say, “My three best friends’ names are What, Why, and How.”

Sure, there are times when we need to specify the who, when, and where. No question about that. But think about these fundamentals in our business lives, and how critically important they are:

  • Knowing what our success looks like, by asking our clients, our board, our stakeholders, our boss.
  • Asking our clients and team members what good communication looks like to them.
  • Asking our team members and our clients how we can help them.
  • Asking our team why we do things the way we do. Is there a better way?

Remember, we cannot assume, we must ask, and we must ask each person. As a leader, we serve our constituents, our external and our internal clients.

In fact, as a leader, it is essential to realize that we are here to guide and help others. We must recognize what our teams want and need from us as their leader. Each may have differences, but we do know from studies that our team members want to feel appreciated, and that they are an important member of a team. They want to be heard and to feel their ideas matter. And they want to feel supported, that they are being helped to succeed.

Feedback is the lifeblood of teamwork. Setting a positive, constructive tone is true leadership at its best. It takes inner confidence to ask such questions as, “What do you think?” “What’s your opinion?” “How can we be better?” and, especially, “How do you think I can be better?” When we humbly strive to improve our own core competencies, we show others how important this is, and how to begin this essential process.

If we don’t have inner confidence, it is important to develop it. Without it, it is difficult to grow and improve.

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Women Prefer Jobs with Clear Rules on Negotiation

By Melissa J. Anderson (New York City)

A new working paper released by the National Bureau of Economic Research suggests that women are more likely to apply for jobs where negotiation is explicitly anticipated.

The study supports a theory that women prefer work environments with an unambiguous set of rules about compensation, whereas men tend to prefer environments where that set of rules is less defined. “This leads to the gender gap being much more pronounced in jobs that leave negotiation of wage ambiguous,” write the authors, Andreas Liebbrandt of Monash University in Australia and John A. List, of the University of Chicago.

Liebbrandt and List found that women were more likely to submit applications to job openings that indicated the salary was negotiable. They were just as willing to negotiate as the men who applied for these jobs.

We’ve heard the women-blaming maxim time and time again that “women don’t ask.” But this study actually shows that women do ask – as long as the rules of the game are clear. Research has shown that women who do negotiate for their salary are sometimes penalized for not adhering to gender norms around assertiveness. This study suggests that, in general, women are aware of this factor, and avoid jobs where they could get snared in the negotiation double bind: if you don’t ask, you don’t get …but if you do ask, you could get labeled a “difficult woman” or a few other choice words that could slow your career down.

By disclosing that negotiation is anticipated, hiring managers send a signal to women that the playing field may be closer to fair.

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Voice of Experience: Angela Raitzin, Managing Principal and Head of New York Office, Morton Capital Management

By Melissa J. Anderson (New York City)

Angela Raitzin, Managing Principal and Head of the New York Office of Morton Capital, says she is dedicated to encouraging women to join and stay in the financial industry.

“I think, particularly as a more senior woman, you have to make time for mentoring. At multiple points in my career, I made it a point to recruit and encourage women to consider financial services and investment banking in particular as a career. Encouraging women to join is the first step but encouraging them to stay, and getting them over the hump from the VP or Director and Managing Director levels is also crucial, “she explained. “Starting over 10 years ago Wall Street made a big push to hire more women and I have seen many positive signs in the past 5 years that they are now making strides to retain these same women.”

She is particularly enthusiastic about the benefits of working in financial advising. As an active recruiter of students from her business school to New York, she says emphasizing the entrepreneurial spirit and the flexible hours associated with financial advising is key. “Both are important to the advancement and retention of women.”

She continued, “For one, you can cast a wide net in terms of your clients. And second, there is much more flexibility to your schedule. In my own case, I didn’t have that degree of flexibility earlier in my career and I think it’s a huge positive.”

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Happy Thanksgiving from The Glass Hammer!

By Melissa J. Anderson (New York City)

As we draw closer to the end of another year, The Glass Hammer’s team is taking time off to reflect upon the things we are thankful for.

This has been a big year for us at Evolved People Media. We hosted several successful events for professional women in New York and London, published interesting new research, and launched a new consulting and training division – all while continuing to publish inspirational profiles and practical advice on how to get to your next career level.

Our community of ambitious women is growing, and for that we are thankful. This year we have focused on celebrating the growing power of influential women throughout the financial and professional services. As more women ascend to the top of the ladder, they open new pathways for women at every step along the way. That’s good for women and companies. We believe (and research proves) that a more diverse workforce builds stronger firms.

We’re thankful for the trailblazing women who have made it possible for all of us to climb higher – in that vein, here are a few of our recent posts on the growing power of women to change the world.

What are you thankful for this year? Let us know in the comments section below. We’ll be back next week with more articles designed to inform, inspire, and empower you!

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Women Don’t Get as Many Big Jobs that Lead to Promotions

By Melissa J. Anderson (New York City)

According to Catalyst’s latest research, women high potentials (in this case, women with MBAs) don’t receive as many career-changing jobs and assignments as men.

The study tracked the careers of 1,660 male and female MBAs, and found that within a few years of graduating, men were more likely to get the kinds of jobs that help propel careers forward: projects with high visibility, jobs that are “mission critical,” and international assignments.

What’s more, participating in a leadership development program had less of an impact on career growth for women than for men.

Anna Beninger, co-author of the study and Senior Associate, Research at Catalyst, said, “This really is about companies not using the talent of high potential women. Women are entered into the same formal leadership programs and they stay in them longer. But they still don’t get the same access to these jobs as men. There seems to be a lack of strategy around how companies develop women.“

She added, “There are a lot of missed opportunities.”

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Voice of Experience: Marcia Wakeman, Partner, Banking, Capco

By Melissa J. Anderson (New York City)

Marcia Wakeman, Banking Partner at the consulting firm Capco, believes strongly in the power of mentoring. After spending almost two decades in the industry, she has experienced first hand how finding the right mentor can make a difference in someone’s career. Now, she encourages seasoned women to remember to give back.

“My advice is really taking interest in mentoring, especially the junior women. Reach out and share your experiences. We tend to forget that all the things we have learned would be of value to them,” she explained.

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