Work Life Balance in the View of an Executive Recruiter – and a Therapist

By Joshua M. Patton (Pittsburgh, PA)

Like true love, clean energy, and world peace, the notion of a perfect balance between work and life is a wonderful idea, but one that seems elusive and impractical.

As Michelle Clayman, Founder, Managing Partner, and Chief Investment Officer of New Amsterdam Partners once told The Glass Hammer, “The idea of balance implies that perfection is possible. You’re insane if you think perfection is possible. It’s about what trade-offs you are willing to live with.”

Even on the best days, you can feel like simply a cog in a great machine, and without all the cogs the machine ceases to function.  In today’s corporate world, dedication and loyalty matter a great deal, until they don’t.  Unlike thirty years ago, workers change companies and even careers an average of three times in their lives, according to a 2006 survey conducted by New York University’s School of Continuing and Professional studies.  So why, when it seems as if high performing professionals are able to hop jobs, looking for the next big role, is it more difficult than ever to establish what feels like work/life balance?

Since the great barons of business like Rockefeller and Carnegie faced uprisings with their employees, working conditions in the United States improved over time. Workplaces became more diverse, employees gained more benefits, and the American Dream seemed to be within the reach of anyone who wanted to work for it.

When this changed it is hard to say, but the change was gradual. Perhaps, employees stopped getting raises, sacrificing those and other benefits, so they could wear jeans on Fridays. Things are tough in the economy, and businesses have focused more tightly on the bottom line – and to many, there seems to be no place for a personal life in any of it.  Yet, all hope is not lost. Therapists and corporate recruiters alike recognize the dangers of the overworked, over-stressed employee or executive. How can you better manage your personal work life balance in this economic environment? Here’s what an executive recruiter – and a therapist – advise.

Setting Boundaries

A corporate recruiter in the Western Pennsylvania area, who asked not to be named, said that when she is looking for executives to fill vacancies at companies, she avoids hiring those who seem to be too wrapped up in their work. “She has to have a family, a dog, even a hobby, something so I know that she knows how to relax,” she says. On the other hand, she admits that when the projections hit the fan, an employee or executive needs to be willing to ride out the crisis in the office no matter what is happening in her life.

For years, office-workers told tales in whispers and giggles about Japanese offices with their marathon workdays and sleeping tubes.  However, things are not so different here in America. Vacation days are rarely given out and when they are, they’re few and far between.  Terms in some company policies dictate how much time one can take to mourn the deaths of non-immediate family members and close friends.  With the pressures of the modern economy, it sometimes seems more stressful to try to have a work/life balance than to forgo it entirely.

Dr. Victor Barbetti, a therapist working in the Pittsburgh area, understands that one’s ambitions are tied to the idea of saying “yes” to everything an employer could ask of her. “In order to maintain a healthy work/life balance, we need to begin to develop our capacity to say ‘no’ to certain aspects of our work life.”

Everyone has a boss, unless you are the boss and then everyone wants your head, so the idea of being able to say “no,” to anything at work may seem akin to career-suicide.  Sadly, in some cases this may be true. However, it doesn’t have to mean that there is no chance to strike a better balance.

We all know the tricks: set priorities, schedule downtime like it’s business, reevaluate household errands to free up more time, and so on and so on. They are all wonderful ideas, but very difficult to implement if your company simply can’t afford your absence.

“Ultimately that’s what I am for,” says the Pittsburgh headhunter, “I try to marry my clients with people who will fill their needs, but not self-destruct.”  If it doesn’t work out at one place, she tells me, she could place them elsewhere.  The trick is to look at the amount of relaxation and downtime you need as part of what makes you excel at your job.

“Recognizing and then setting firm boundaries between our work and personal life is the first step in curbing the negative effects of spill-over stress,” says Dr. Barbetti, and by being aware of those boundaries, you can recognize when it is time to recharge and relax.  After you do so, return to work with a higher level of productivity and soon everyone will see how important it is to have a balanced employee.