Looking for a New Job? Find a Wingman

Contributed by The Runaway MBA

I have a wingman – not at the bar, but in my job search.

At first it started casually. We would compare with whom we were meeting, when we met, and what we learned. We were both at similar stages in our job search, but going after positions at different levels. Because we both had different networks, we were able to tap into different connections, alumni pools, and job databases.

My wingman comes from a relationship established during a MBA semester exchange. We connected initially because of our field and then became friends over time, first through classwork and next through our job search. We held common interests that allowed a friendship to develop. First it was joining each other for industry conferences and discussing the current state of the market. Next it was the discussion of how certain meetings were either more or less successful and why. Then, once we knew each other, there came the occasional recommendation of person or firm to connect with.

Over time we had developed trust because we were not a threat to our individual job search, but found a way to complement one another and to support our egos. As either of us became aware of roles not suited for our own needs but the other’s, we shared leads and potential recommendations into the company.

This new friendship has also helped me identify some of my own personal weaknesses in the job search – and how to overcome them.

Learning Trust

Our relationship evolved informally as we mutually realized that we were not competitors in the job search. We were both of different experience levels and were looking for completely different opportunities. As we continued to network, we shared contacts, industry gossip, and served as one another’s support system during times when encouragement was needed.

What I valued most by this unofficial relationship was the latter part – the support.  At varying times in our job search, we each experiences walls and tremendous valleys of self-doubt. The frustration and rejection for both of us was overwhelmingly ego blowing. And fortunately, we had a partner to serve as a cheerleader and show us the light of this never-ending tunnel called  “the job search.”

In this job search, the main weakness that I have overcome is my lack of trust among my peers. For many years I saw individuals as competitors for roles that I had been chasing. But the reality is each role has a unique set of requirements to which they are matched. In this employment market, employers have been identifying the “right candidate” through an endless checklist of requirements and professional experiences – which makes the job search lengthy as well.

It took a lot for me to lower my walls and learn how to, first, trust and then, second, share knowledge with my colleagues. It also took a lot of courage for me to recognize that interview processes in this market are now marathons instead of sprints.  I was going to need reserve supplies and ample company to cheer me to the finish line: a viable offer.

This alternative source of support has been instrumental in researching company backgrounds and preparing for interviews with specific individuals.

How to Make It Work For You

Here are key characteristics to keep in mind, in order to make the wingman approach work for you:

1. Varying stages in our careers.
2. Complimentary industry interests, but different roles.
3. Different professional networks.
4. Similar approach toward life.

There is nothing systematic about the “wingman in your job search” relationship. It is not like a mentor-mentee program where there are designated times and reasons for the senior member to check in on “status.” There was, however, an unspoken acknowledgment of helping out, when we could, with contact information or industry insights. The mutually beneficial aspects of the wingman approach include:

1. Recommend people that we met and with whom we think the other should meet.
2. Share information through our networking meetings.
3. Share job leads not appropriate for ourselves.
4. Cheer and champion our individual searches.

At times it has not been easy. Fortunately our peaks and valleys occurred at different times and allowed us to encourage the other person to not give up – just like our elementary school teachers.

But my favorite part was having a partner to bounce off instances of success and failure. What happened after speaking with this person? Who was a good lead to ask questions on that topic? Could you tell me a joke – I just need to laugh. The banter back and forth has helped me maintain my sanity and perspective on the market. It also helped to have a reliable person who understood what you were experiencing without judgment.