Who’s Your Best Mentor?

By Robin Madell (San Francisco)

Much of the public buzz about mentorship centers on helping women find and secure a mentor. Less discussed is the topic of how to find the right mentor for you. There are a number of possible differentiators that might make a certain mentor the perfect match for your colleague, but a poor fit for you.

Qualities such as the mentor’s age, industry level, and personality all could play a role, as could your own variables in these departments. (Gender is a larger issue, which we explored in more depth in “Does Gender Matter When it Comes to Your Mentor?”) The question is, how do you know which differentiators are most important in your particular mentor match? Below, a number of women executives in the finance, legal, and tech industries, as well as workplace experts, offer their thoughts, strategies, and guidance to help you pinpoint your ideal mentor.

Age-old Questions

A primary attribute to consider in mentor selection is age and experience level of those who might guide you. While some in our panel found age unimportant in choosing a mentor, several women we spoke with, including Felicity Fields, testified to the added value of working specifically with a more seasoned mentor.

Fields chose a mentor three decades her senior to help her navigate the technology industry.

“My mentor is ideal because he’s been in IT for about 30 years, so he knows how corporations work,” says Fields. “He has a ton of experience, real-world examples, and knowledge about how things ‘used to work’ in corporate America that are invaluable to me. Plus, he’s of a different generation, which is hugely helpful for a younger person like myself to understand where my older clients are coming from.”

Lana Burkhardt, a 20-year veteran of the financial services industry, whose best mentor was an attorney who had already worked in the field for over 15 years when Burkhardt met her during her first position within financial management, says it is important that a mentor have reached a high enough level to add value to the mentoring process. “They should be at least 10 years older in terms of industry experience, and recommended a minimum of two position levels higher than an entry-level position, in order to best help with career progression,” says Burkhardt.

Screen for Attitude

Beyond age and industry level, there are many soft skills and personality traits that can be important in helping to create a positive mentoring relationship. While determining which qualities constitute “ideal” in a mentor will vary depending on the preferences of individual mentees, certain attributes may be helpful:

• Life approach. Calm fortitude is what most inspires Christina Inge in a mentor: “Real mentorship is about conveying an attitude, a way of approaching your life and career, more than about conveying specific skills,” says Inge, who works in the technology industry. “Those are actually the most important qualities in being a mentor: having strong values, standing for something, and being able to teach by example and listen.”

• The support factor. A prospective mentor may look perfect on paper, and may have every quality that you would find ideal. But a mentor who lacks a strong interest in putting time and energy into mentoring others won’t be the best mentor for you. “The most important quality to me is willingness to actually teach,” says Ciara Vesey, a third-year law student. “A lot of people enjoy having the title of being a mentor simply for the sake of saying they have done so. I think it is truly exceptional when people take actual time out of their day to talk with me about real-life issues in the legal field and what I can do to be successful.” Nancy R. Wilsker, partner at Hinckley, Allen & Snyder LLP, adds that it’s important to choose someone who is confident enough not to view you as a threat. When describing a positive sponsorship experience that she had, she notes of her supporter: “He viewed my good work as a positive reflection on him and the firm, not as a threat to his position.”

• No access, no deal. “A mentor must be available. No matter how much insight your mentor has the potential to offer, it has no value if you two never meet,” says Roy Cohen, author of The Wall Street Professional’s Survival Guide. Feminist scholar Mohanalakshmi Rajakumar agrees: “Access is the most important quality, without a doubt. If you can’t get in to see the person or have them send you back an email or answer the phone, then there’s no point of having a mentoring relationship.”

• Melting pot. It’s a tall order to find all of the above qualities in one ideal person. Particularly in financial services, with the instability on Wall Street, finding the perfect mix in a single mentor can be difficult. As an alternative to the one-mentor model, Cohen suggests assembling an informal mentor team: a group of individuals who will be critical to supporting your success. “Perhaps a subject matter expert, a politician, a member of the C-suite, and/or a peer who may be older and wiser,” suggests Cohen. “A diverse portfolio will ensure that you are covered, too, should one of the ‘team’ members leave the organization or become unavailable.”

Of course, every professional woman’s needs will be different when it comes to selecting a mentor. What’s most important is to carefully consider what you hope to gain from a mentoring relationship, and seek mentors who you trust.