Shifting From Peer to Boss: Five Things You Need To Know
By Tina Vasquez (Los Angeles)
In a recent Harvard Business Review article, author and managing partner of Schaffer Consulting Ron Ashkenas delves into an important subject: what happens when you get promoted and your relationship with co-workers must change from that of peer to boss?
This is not an unusual scenario. A common refrain is to be good to everyone because you never know who will be your next boss. The issue, Ashkenas points out, is that there’s no guidebook for how to navigate this uncomfortable and incredibly awkward situation.
According to Kim Zilliox, an executive coach with almost 20 years of experience, the bottom line is that once you are promoted, that is your primary responsibility. This does not mean that you can’t remain friends with your reports, but you will need to look at what needs to change when it comes to how you interact with your former peers. How will you ensure you are not making your other reports feel uncomfortable? How will you make sure you remain objective about your previous colleague’s work? There are no easy answers, but excellent communication is critical.
Communication is Key
In Zilliox’s role as vice president of leadership development at Women’s Leadership Coaching, her clients routinely deal with shifting work relationships. Zilliox has blogged about this topic in the past, but recently pointed out that any person interested in moving to positions of greater responsibility will eventually transition from peer to boss and the important thing to remember is that it doesn’t have to be awkward. Whether or not the transition goes smoothly hinges on current relationships, personalities, and most importantly, everyone’s ability to communicate.
“What I find helps most in this situation is for both parties to sit down and talk about how the relationship may look different from this point on,” Zilliox said. “How will communication change? What expectations will now be in place? Logistically, will spending time together- lunch, coffee, et cetera – look differently? Will conversations in public look differently? I recommend looking at a typical day or week to see how touch points have been in the past and then look to see how they might be different in the future. Again, if this can be discussed between the two individuals affected, this creates an optimal outcome.”
The Ego
If the communication between you and your former peers is less than ideal, the only thing that can make the situation worse is if the peers you’re now leading don’t feel you’re fit for the job or have a different view of how the team should be run.
Usually, a promotion is something to be excited about, but when a challenging transition is involved it’s important to tread lightly. Keep in mind that like you, your peers have to negotiate this new landscape, but unlike you, they’re not getting a new title and a raise.
According to the coach, the biggest challenge for most people, especially those younger in their career, is their ego.
“Without strong confidence in oneself, it can be easy to feel jealousy or ill will toward a peer who has been recognized with a promotion. Most professionals learn to let these feelings go and to focus on their own work while working towards the higher good of the organization. Once this is handled, the main challenge would be the change in the working relationship from peer to subordinate, which can take some adjustment,” Zilliox said.
Five Tips for Making it Work
But sometimes conflict is unavoidable. If the peers you’re now leading don’t feel you’re fit for the job, Zilliox recommends the following five tips:
- Let them have their feelings. The bottom line is that it isn’t their business or their call. You were promoted by your management who trusted you could do a good job. Your former peers have a right to their opinions and part of any transition includes experiencing emotions about the change. As a leader, by allowing them to process the concerns, challenges, and questions about the transition, you will help them move past their initial reaction, creating a better chance for a renewed outlook. Be sure to connect with each and every team member early to learn about them, their strengths, their goals, and to express to them how committed you are to their success and to the success of the team.
- Create small wins for the team. Once the team has processed their feelings and you have authentically shared your commitment to them, it is time to focus on turning their attitudes around and the easiest way is to quickly create small wins for your team. How can you make them look good? How can the team succeed? By shifting the focus away from you and your management style, this will help get the team back on track and moving forward.
- Check in with hold-outs. If you have some individuals who can’t seem to get on board you’re your new role, check in with them to see what is going on. What do they miss about the past? Can they either give up their opinions or suspend them for a bit to see if it will all work out? Be clear about why you were given this new role. Sometimes communicating your goals and qualifications more clearly can help alter their perceptions. Essentially, you are putting on your coaching hat to help them realize that being right isn’t paying off as much as doing the right thing will.
- Weed out bad seeds. At this point, if there are still folks on the team who cannot get on board, it is best that they find a team and a leader they can fully support. It is a choice they are making, and if they just can’t, then it won’t serve anyone if they stay. See what other parts of the organization would be a good fit and help them move, while looking for the right fit for your team at the same time.
- Be confident. You were hired for a reason and just because it is different than what others expected, it doesn’t mean it isn’t best for the organization. While any good leader is consistently learning and growing, having a sense of confidence in who you are and what you bring to the table is a key foundation.
By remembering your position of authority while also working with team members to create a path forward, you can attempt to build consensus around your own leadership.
