Why Communicating Emotion Can Make You a Better Leader

By Melissa J. Anderson (New York City)

“I’m an easy crier,” began Cheri Beranek, CEO of Clearfield, a NASDAQ-traded broadband company. “I’ve learned that there can be a right time for crying, but it can’t be about business.”

Beranek recalled recently losing a CFO to a heart attack – and when she informed her staff, she shed some tears. But, she said, she also worked hard to maintain poise. As a leader, she explained, it was her responsibility to respect her team’s emotions as well. “It’s about knowing how to support your staff, while also communicating the fragility of life,” she said. “Regardless of the situation, you always have to have empathy with the environment.”

“Remembering that it’s not just about my emotions, but also someone else’s helps me to be more objective,” she continued. “You have to approach people with dignity and approach people with empathy.”

In her 25 years in the telcom industry, Beranek said, she’s learned a lot about leading with empathy. “Gravitas, dignity, and depth of personality is something you are constantly developing.”

Create Balance through Depth

Beranek explained that taking a balanced approach to emotion is how she leads with integrity. She explained, “It’s easy to put people on one end or the other of the spectrum – as either ‘hard as nails,’ or ‘ultra soft.’ It’s difficult to create balance.”

She continued, “The importance of having that dignity and depth creates a rhythm to your life.”

“In order for us professional women to be successful, we need to be respected. And respect is never given – it’s earned. Creating a level of depth will earn you that respect – you’ll be able to get things done.”

“When it comes to the ‘hard as nails’ approach, there’s a difference between commanding and earning respect. And on the ‘soft’ side, you might be liked but not respected. But the depth and poise that come with that gravitas and balance is earned and achieved,” she explained.

Being Human

“When I got the call about Bruce [the CFO], I wanted to walk through the right way to manage the situation. My first concern was to remember the individuals – to communicate to his family first, then to employees, and to communicate it in a way so they could make the choice on how to handle the situation.”

Beranek’s announcement also happened to fall about two hours before the company’s annual shareholders’ meeting – but, she said, she felt it was her responsibility to share the circumstances. “Humans are emotional beings, and to deny the fact that it was affecting us would have been less than human,” she said.

She illustrated her point by sharing another story. The week she was being promoted to CEO, her sister-in-law was close to passing away from breast cancer. The day of the board meeting, she had gotten dressed in the dark, to avoid waking up her husband.

“When I got there, one of the board members leaned over and whispered to me that my shirt was inside out,” she recalled. “I wanted to be tough as nails that day, but sharing my situation made it okay. It could have been a bad situation, but being open about my emotions allowed me to bring everyone in the room with me. “

“It’s about honesty and the integrity that goes with it,” she added.

Women in Technology

“In the tech and telcom world, there’s a high percentage of men,” Beranek said. “You can only be yourself. We don’t have to pretend to be men, or anything other than ourselves. When you look at everybody you work with as an individual, whether you’re a man or a woman won’t matter.”

“That said,” she continued, “You are going to have situations – even in the 21st century – that will be difficult. It does happen. Your choice is to deal with it in a way that you are not a victim. Operate with your eyes open, but having a chip on your shoulder doesn’t do anybody any good.”

“If you choose to be happy, chances are you’ll be happy. If you choose to be successful, chances are you’ll be successful. But if you choose to be unhappy, no one can change that,” she added.