Mentoring and Finding a Mentor – Just Ask
By Melissa J. Anderson (New York City)
Don’t be afraid to approach a mentor or someone you want to connect with professionally and just ask, says Pattie Sellers, Editor at Large and Co-chair of the Most Powerful Women Summit, FORTUNE. “Walk up to that person, and introduce yourself. It could change your life and it could change the older person’s life.”
Sellers was moderating an event presented by Step Up Women’s Network and sponsored by Miss Representation and Linkedin. The event, entitled “Professional Development: View from the Top,” provided young professionals with advice from successful senior women on how to advance their own careers and forge their own pathways to success.
Panelists included Ana Duarte McCarthy, Managing Director and Chief Diversity Officer, Citi; Bonnie Kintzer, CEO, Women’s Marketing; Amira Yunis, Executive Vice President and Principal, Newmark Knight Frank National Retail Group; and Carolyn Buck-Luce, Global Pharmaceutical Sector Leader, Ernst & Young LLP. The evening was opened by Linda Descano, President and COO of Citi’s Women & Co.
Seeking a mentor? Duarte McCarthy advised, “Come with candor and be authentic.”
Paying it Forward
“We hope tonight’s program will help you elevate your career performance and we hope you will pay it forward,” said Sellers. And that should come easy to Step-Up’s membership. After all, the program is designed to help professionals connect and network. But the organization also has a strong mentorship component.
Its mission is to connect professional women with mentors and contacts – as well as underserved high school girls they can help or mentor as well. The girls attend after-school and weekend enrichment programs to help them build confidence and develop college and career skills and Step Up professionals can volunteer to help.
Both Sellers and Descano, who is on the organization’s national board of directors as well as the chair of the New York board of Step Up, mentioned the importance of “not getting caught up in preconceptions” about what young women are supposed to do or how they are supposed to behave, but to follow their passion and achieve their dreams.
The message applied to high school students as well as the young professionals attending the event.
Advice for Connecting with Mentors
Many of the panelists spoke about younger employee they had mentored in the past and how they connected. Buck Luce recalled a woman who approached her for a job, and how, while the woman had gotten mixed reviews, she was impressed with her authenticity.
She said, “She didn’t defer to my position. She was incredibly authentic. She was very clear and she knew what she could do.” Buck Luce was so impressed with “her authenticity, her power, and her ability to connect” that she gave her a job – and the woman continues to be successful today, she added.
Sellers agreed about the importance of coming across authentically. “You need to be normal – don’t put on airs.”
Duarte McCarthy said she tries to be authentic herself when offering career advice. “I think I probably talk more people out of working for me!” she said with a laugh. She explained, “I’m impressed that people want to have a conversation with me and I’m always interested in where their journey is going, and how can I add value and, more often than not, I connect them” with another opportunity.
While mentors can help open doors, so can showing your eagerness to learn.
Kinsey recalled how she got her first promotion by taking the time to get to know more about other departments and the other individuals in her office. She explained how her first job was a 7-3 shift. When work was over, she would stick around. “People really respond when you show an interest in their work. Show an interest – people generally want to help other people – and they want your help,” she advised.
And, finally, as Sellers noted, simply asking is an important way to get noticed. Yunis explained how a new staff member who was temping at her office had come to her with a letter asking to be mentored. She said she was so impressed that she took him onto her team as a full time employee.
Thanks for covering this event. It was indeed inspiring, and a good reminder that we must lead with confidence and competence, and then take risk as we grow.
Mentoring is a great modality but it must be remembered that 1. it’s both an art and a science and
2. mentors are made, not born.
Subject matter expertise and a disposition to help others, while necessary just is not sufficient to be a truly effective and memorable mentor. Many mentoring relationships either crash and burn or just end up being ineffective in the long run because of communication breakdowns. In my experience mentoring college seniors for my alma mater, I learned that the other mentors and mentees were struggling: mentors often felt like they weren’t getting through or didn’t know how to help and mentees felt so intimidated that they couldn’t express their needs. As soon as an emotion like intimidation arises, the rest of the learning shuts down.
In response to this, I trained the other mentors about having “coaching conversations ,” conversations that challenged the mentee to think,to self-manage, to problem solve on their own. When it comes to long term, sustained results, top down, data dump knowledge transfer is much less effective than experiential and interactive learning.