5 Reasons to Say No Now
By Tess C. Taylor
Finding it hard to say “no” at work? Very often, women try hard to please everybody, from bosses to clients, but it’s not always the most productive way to get ahead in your career. Saying “no” can actually open up opportunities and provide options for others if used at the right time. Learning to say “no” is a skill that all women should learn to use diplomatically for maximum career benefit.
Even as professional women, many of us were raised thinking that we’re meant to support the needs of others – and as a result, being a “yes girl” comes naturally. It can become painfully obvious in the corporate world that being a people-pleaser whilst trying to stay in touch with personal career goals are opposing factors.
Patti DeNucci, author of “The Intentional Networker: Attracting Powerful Relationships, Referrals & Results in Business,” says that learning to gracefully decline some tasks is, “the essence of not only connecting more intentionally, but living and working more intentionally as well. And as women, we so easily get into the trap of trying to please everyone and be friends with everyone, when a more focused and mindful approach would serve us (and others) much better.”
Saying “no” is a skill every woman can effectively use, at any stage of her career. If you want to experience this focused and balanced approach to managing your career, here are five reasons why you should start saying “no,” and fast.
1. No more compromise.
Working without compromise effectively helps a professional woman to find a better balance between the needs of a career and her personal ethics. Emily Belden, Creative Director at CRUX, is living proof that saying “no” to unethical business behavior makes good career sense. Early in her career, Belden dreamed of making a positive impact through words, but came up against unethical behavior of a colleague landed her first gig. After one too many condescending emails and continual rude treatment, she decided to seek out a more healthy work environment and ended up with a more successful role. By saying “no” to a co-worker’s bullying behavior, Belden stood up for her dignity and ended up in a better place.
2. Let go of the guilt.
Certainly, one the biggest reasons why professional women don’t say “no” nearly enough is due to the self-imposed guilt trip we give ourselves. It’s the same guilt we experience when we have to work later at the office and can’t spend time with our friends and families, made worse because our jobs may possibly be at stake (in our minds). In this day and age, where a great job is getting harder to find and hold on to, it can be easy to fall into the trap of always accepting things as they are handed down to us, without regard for our true feelings.
However, it is possible to learn to let go of the guilt. There is something freeing about learning to refuse certain aspects of a career. Regardless of your fears, you won’t be viewed as a slacker if you turn down things once in a while. Your boss may be a little surprised, but if you give a good case for why someone else may be better suited for a responsibility, beautiful things start to happen, including more respect.
3. Honor your ideas.
Sometimes taking the approach of not only saying “no,” but also of walking away can work, for those faced with a work situation that is not conducive to thinking outside of the box. Lauri Ward, founder of Use What You Have Interiors and Redecorate.com, and widely published author and speaker, worked for an interior design company in the early 1980s that encouraged clients to toss out perfectly good furnishings in order to make a profit.
This wasteful approach did not sit well with Ward, so she founded her company based on saying “no” to this practice, in favor of a better, more eco-friendly and budget-wise method of decorating clients’ homes. She continued, “What I didn’t realize was that this ‘one day decorating’ concept that I felt passionate about would become a new niche in the interior design world and the first “green” home decor business.” Her ideas became a national-sensation, landing her several high profile television and launching her career.
4. Dream, on your terms.
When walking away from an uncomfortable career situation doesn’t work, try running! Laura Quintanilla, co-founder of Your Dream Physique, spent 25 years as a medical transcriptionist until she decided to become a certified personal trainer. At the age of 49, she ran her first marathon and describes herself as, “happier now than ever before.” Quintanilla encourages women to, “to reach for more and live life according to their own terms – not what others tell them they can or cannot do.”
5. Prioritize what’s really important.
Obviously, the main reason you must learn to say “no” more often is to give priority to the things that truly matter in life. If you want to become a more balanced professional woman, learning to walk away from things that serve your ultimate career and personal goals is the wisest approach. Never give in to the idea that by saying “no,” others will view you as less than you are. Rather, you will give the impression of being a woman of virtue and someone who has priorities in the right order – a lasting positive image of how you will soon see yourself.
