Leadership Lessons: Sorting through the Trip to the Top

Contributed by Dr. Sylvia Lafair, Award Winning Author and Workplace Relationship Expert

Frustrated, she shook the ladder she was too tired to climb, had been climbing for years. It was just one more step and yet it looked like a mountain of ice. The call had been in the early morning, time when most would still be wandering down the paths between dreams and deep sleep.

They wanted her. They were offering her the CEO position. The meeting was set for day after tomorrow in London. It was all very hush-hush. Only the key people were in the loop. A diagnosis of inoperable cancer had changed the game. She knew she was a contender, yet that was in the succession plan for a future time – not now. But suddenly that last step on the ladder was to right here, right now.

She got up and started to plan her wardrobe. And then it hit her, like a hardball smack in her gut. Tomorrow was the day she was to be a chaperone with her son’s fourth grade class; an all day visit to the zoo. The trip she promised she would not change, no way, never, as she had done so many other times.

Her husband stirred from sleep. They talked. No – their son had enough of dad time; this one was a promise from a mom who was the major breadwinner, and because of that, was rarely available for school outings.

The demands were weighing down on her. Was the trip to the top really worth it? And so what’s the big deal about the trip to the zoo; she’s only a chaperone for crying out loud. This true story belongs to so many of us: moments of conflicting demands, moments of loyalty binds that choke us.

Making Tough Decisions

Here is an interesting parallel. I was at a leadership meeting where Andrea Jung was one of the speakers. Most of the talk was about strategy and policy; while appropriate, rather dry. I saw folks begin to nod off; that is until Andrea strode to the podium and took charge.

If you do not know who she is, she is the elegant CEO of Avon. It’s a huge company and regardless of product, most businesses have similar key issues around bottom line profit and loss and everyday struggles in relationships.

Andrea talked about priorities. Her dilemma was in relationship to herself. She was invited to a dinner at The White House at the same time her son was having his first sleep away. She decided to honor the latter, saying that the President would not really remember if she was there or not, while her son would carry the memory of his mom not being there on this big deal time in his life.

She received a standing ovation.

Gutsy Women

In my book GUTSY: How Women Leaders Make Change, I offer an exercise that comes from my research about the myth of Psyche and Eros. Psyche is given four tasks to fulfill before she can have the love she desires.

The first task for Psyche is that of sorting beans. Sorting, making choices, this or that, hits us all on a daily basis, prioritizing what really matters. Psyche can’t possibly finish the task in the allotted time. She falls into despair, feeling like a victim. An army of ants, symbolizing intuition march in to help; rational thinking alone cannot complete the process. This is the message from this ancient myth. Giving time to sit and sort, to think and dream, to will and trust, this is how the harder dilemmas of work and life balance get solved.

This first of Psyche’s four tests teaches us to go back to basics and look at decisions we have made and put them in today’s life puzzle to see how they now fit. It is about finding that core of GUTSY in you to do what has the longest term effects in a positive way.

Let me know how you would have handled the dilemma of the woman I just wrote about. I’ll give you a clue. It is not the same as Andrea Jung’s resolution. While she sorted her options and the consequences of her action several years later, everyone’s solution will be different.