By Melissa J. Anderson (New York City)
“We have to redefine what it means to be a successful man and a good mother,” said Joan C. Williams, Distinguished Professor of Law and Director of the Center for WorkLife Law at the University of California, Hastings.
Williams, who has just published a new book on the subject of work/family conflict, Reshaping the Work-Family Debate: Why Men and Class Matter, believes that there are several gender and class related inconsistencies that are keeping both women and men from achieving their best at home and work. Williams explained, “While women are under pressure to be good mothers, always available to their children, men face gender pressures, too. Men are judged, to borrow a quote from feminism in the 70s, ‘by the size of their paycheck’ —which makes it very different to draw a line in the sand and say, ‘I need to go home to my family.’”
While the “good mother ideal” is problematic for women in the workforce, men now face similar inconsistencies. In the past, Williams said, men were culturally expected to work long hours to live up to the “provider” role – which fit right in with workplace expectations of what a good worker looked like. But now, men are faced with a new cultural ideal: that of the “nurturing father.”
Williams explained, “Men are now caught between two ideals.” The workplace ideal for men has not yet caught up with changing notions of masculinity at home. And women are unlikely to find male support in changing the structure of the workplace until that workplace supports the new needs of men too.
“Until gender pressures on men change, things aren’t going to change for much of women, either.”