Building Your Strategic Personal Network

By Stephanie Wilcox (Middlefield, CT)

“Women are the original prototype of a network,” said Susan RoAne, an influential networking and business communication expert and author of The Secrets of Savvy Networking. “They helped each other through famine and harsh times. They got together on the farm or in quilting groups, which were the first examples of historic networking groups, and they would quietly quilt and talk.”

Whether it’s over a quilt, lunch or the telephone, women still need their networks, including personal advisory boards and small strategic networking groups, and RoAne shares why they are so beneficial and how to build them.

“There is no question, you have to have personal networks,” said RoAne. “It’s necessary to have people whose feedback and opinions you respect and trust, and the feedback and opinions have to be entirely based on a person’s complete commitment to you, your success, happiness and joy.”

You need a group of three, four or five real friends who will form your personal advisory board to help with advice, career decisions and family/personal matters. Ideally, to have a diverse network, these people will be a mix of ages and will be smart, savvy, informed and experienced. Of course, these relationships will need to be built, but it won’t happen overnight. According to RoAne, it’s best to include people in your personal advisory board who you think have a good head on their shoulders. And do not include people who you don’t think are smart. “There are different kinds of smart,” she said. “Someone with a good grasp on the subject at hand or even someone with a good BS detector. That’s what smart CEOs do when building a team; they find people who balance them out.”

Strengthening Your Network

Then, RoAne suggests, you court them, more or less. She suggests telling those you would like to connect with that you want to talk with them over coffee. In fact, in some cases it works to say that you consider a person a part of your network, and then suggest meeting to help each other out.

Then what? Be personable. Bring a little of who you are to the mix, to your group. Get together with others in your advisory board often to say ‘this is what I need, this is what’s happening,’ and people will jump in to share ideas, thoughts and suggestions. But don’t call on your team for purposes only beneficial to you. “If you want people to be connected to you and support you going forward, there needs to be a great deal of support returned,” said RoAne. “It’s about I support you, you support me. Where can we give each other boosts?”

While there is overlap between personal and professional, don’t confuse the two, said RoAne. Women also need small strategic networking groups of no more than six for professional reasons in which you never run personal issues by. This group will include colleagues whose opinion and experience you trust as you’ll support each other in getting jobs and promotions. It should also include those you consider vendors as well as colleagues you might think are competition.
“They used to be called support groups; now they’re called mastermind groups where everyone gives each other ideas to help meet deadlines and commitments,” said RoAne. And it’s beneficial to have get-togethers with an agenda to know what to talk about, what the goal is and a set time allotment.

Building a Diverse Group

Strategic networking shouldn’t only take place with people in high positions, says RoAne, because, “If you have a diverse network in terms of age, profession, title and experience, you never know who knows other people,” she said. “A hard worker deserves a promotion, yes, but you need other people who will notice you and speak for you. The person who’s out there who may not do as good a job but has a strategic network in the industry and professional associations is more visible. And for some reason, having that makes you a valued person. It means you’re engaged and can communicate well, and others will want that in their professionals.”

Then there’s the question of online networking. In this day and age, so many of us have groups and connections via technology and then consider this valuable networking. While you should have online networks to create more visibility for yourself, says RoAne, only having an online network leaves you, well, “SOL.”

Of course you can’t be everything all at once, but good networking is good manners, listening skills, staying in touch with others, and doing so in person whenever possible. So don’t overlook tangible networking groups and personal advisory boards. You’ll be surprised how far they will take you.

“If you don’t network, you’re not going to get to the next level,” said RoAne. “People are really good at helping each other. It’s called support, and the more networks, the more in touch, the better it is for you.”