Mentoring Teens a World Away

By Natalie Sabia (New York City)

Cheryl Pollard never imagined herself as a mentor, especially to someone thousands of miles away. A former vice president of merchandizing and product development for Water Works, Pollard learned about Infinite Family, a not-for-profit that connects mentors from all over the United States with orphans and other vulnerable children in Africa through video conferencing, from a member of her church. “I never really mentored anyone before,” said Pollard, “so I was excited to give it a try.”

Mentors have to complete a training program which teaches them the finer points of mentoring as well as the technical training necessary to provide the mentoring via the computer. The mentors then set up a re-occurring weekly appointment for the video conference with their mentees. Pollard said, “Liba and I talk every Saturday at 8:00am and, if something comes up, we e-mail to stay in touch.

Pollard has been paired with Liba, a 12-year-old refugee from Zimbabwe, for over two years now. Liba relies on Pollard as both a mentor and a friend in which to confide. “Liba has become so special in my heart and a part of my life,” said Pollard. She is deeply affected by the way that the friendship has had a major impact on Liba. “At first I was asking her so many questions. I didn’t understand that we didn’t always have to be talking to fill the silence,” said Pollard. It took time for Liba to warm up to Pollard, especially because they come from such opposite worlds. “Liba was so shy at first and now she sings and dances,” said Pollard, whose favorite thing now is to turn on her iPod and let Liba dance. In 2007, Pollard even had the opportunity to go to South Africa to meet Liba in person. “The moment I saw her it was as if we’ve always known each other, she just hugged my waist,” said Pollard.

“I always thought of myself as a generous person, but now it’s a whole different feeling to know I am in her heart everyday.” Barbara Draimin, Director for the City of New York Department of Social Services is happy to be mentoring these “at risk” South African teens as well. “It gives me the chance to meet a young person and know them from a different perspective.” Draimin, the original founder of NYC community based organization called The Family Center, was approached to become a mentor during the early days of the program by a member of Infinite Family who knew of her through the non-for-profit community. Draimin eagerly accepted the challenge.

Although she had received a book at the training that described the boy she was going to mentor, she and he were both nervous going into their first sessions. Now, three years later, Draimin looks forward to her Sunday 11:00 am conversations with 17-year-old Keabetswe. “It becomes something you really look forward too,” said Draimin. “It gives me sense of warmth and focus.” As it is important for both mentors and the children to keep their sessions on schedule, Draimin always makes sure to speak with Keabetswe even if it’s via e-mail. “Our time together is so precious, you don’t want that time messed with,” said Draimin. Being a mentor gives Draimin a focus for the week, something to look forward to. “Some of the things I do are just a routine, but this is something that is a wonderful experience internally,” said Draimin. “It makes Sunday a special day.”

Draimin describes Keabetswe as level-headed and a source of great strength. She feels better about herself and her career from their relationship and thinks it pushes her to do better. “I love the continuity of the program; it’s something I look forward to and do every single week.

After visiting Africa about five years ago, Draimin has an even greater appreciation for her relationships with Keabetswe and the program. Her sessions with him have become more productive each week. The best part of the program is that Draimin has become a dear friend and mentor, but also she feels as though she has touched Keabetswe’s life in an extraordinary way. “I give him permission to be more sympathetic and allow him to laugh at his mistakes,” said Draimin.

“This program has changed me for the better,” adds Pollard, “It has made me more giving and also more aware of how lucky I am. It taught me the most precious lesson: it’s easy to give.”

For more information about Infinite Family, please contact Dana Gold at 212.400.7446 or dana.gold@infinitefamily.org. To learn more, read the Infinite Family blog at www.infinitefamily.blogspot.com.