Opinion: Does Sarah Palin Have a Work/Life Balance Problem? No more than the rest of us!
by S. W. Bari (New York City)
Sarah Palin’s nomination to the vice presidential spot on the Republican ticket has provoked emotional reactions from almost everyone I’ve spoken to. Regardless of people’s political affiliations, she’s certainly rekindled interest in the electoral process in a way other better known politicians could not.
As a feminist, I applaud any woman who is able to ascend to the top of her field; I just don’t agree that any woman is the right person for every job. I disagree with Palin’s positions on abortion, guns and abstinence-only education and it is for that reason I don’t plan to vote for her.
That said, I regret that much of the discussion of her positions is often accompanied by heaps of derision that a woman would dare consider campaigning for–and then holding–a position that will necessarily prevent her caring full-time for her children.
Let’s talk about that for a second. Palin was NOMINATED for this position; she didn’t seek it out. She was recognized for being ambitious, smart and certainly because her positions were politically advantageous. I’m certain that Ms. Palin is sufficiently intelligent–and may I add, a substantially skilled multi-tasker and scheduler–to know (a) whether she can handle the job as it was presented to her and (b) to say “no” if she honestly believed she couldn’t handle the vice presidency and its uncomfortably close proximity to the presidency. Was she supposed to say “Oooh, Mr. McCain, I’m terribly sorry, but I can’t take the opportunity of my lifetime until my children are independent adults?”
Oh, come on now. Who asked Senator Obama–or for that matter, Senator McCain–how they plan to manage their parental responsibilities while serving in the Oval Office? It’s simply assumed that as men run the world, their wives will be right behind them, making sure the family’s home (or homes) is running smoothly, regardless of the career demands that Michelle Obama and Cindy McCain face.
Let’s not pretend that we’re all actually terribly concerned about the fate of the Palin kids. Even if we are, it’s not really our business, is it? Individual choice means that it’s up to every family to decide how to best handle the upbringing of its children. Ultimately, this is a discussion about gender, pure and simple: can a woman make it in a man’s world, given all the other things for which she is putatively responsible IN ADDITION to the vice presidency? And how dare she pursue this and risk neglecting her family’s needs? How will she balance it…HOW?
It may not be inherently sexist to ask these questions IF they were asked of every single candidate regardless of gender. To imply that because Palin is a woman–and the female parent in a family with a variety of needs–she is unfit to serve is what makes the questions sexist.
This kind of talk is anti-feminist. It smacks of those images of women in the fictional trenches of the equally fictional mommy wars–diaper bag vs. briefcase. It belies the reality that occasionally every working parent will have to make the decisions which mean that the children who should come first sometimes don’t. It also ignores the fact that often, decisions we make don’t work out as we hope.
Unlike many, Ms. Palin will more likely than not have some help at home–not just the children’s father, as one would expect, even of someone with his job demands–but staff as well. [As an aside, I imagine that if the family is decamping to D.C. en masse after the election, the opportunities for oil field production operator will be harder to come by, permitting him more time at home with the children who clearly require parental attention.] Whether Mr. Palin will be comfortable enough to actually take the “Mr. Mom” label full on is a question as yet unanswered. And here we are again at gender–that a father who is home with his kids is doing something other than being a father; he’s being a male “mommy”. But that’s another column.
Let’s keep talking, taking care that our concerns are expressed in ways that no longer focus on gender, but equality of opportunity. Perhaps these discussions will yield policies that allow women and men equal flexibility to pursue their desires, political and professional. As I understand it, this is the true meaning of feminism, at its highest ideal.
Disclaimer from author: The author of this piece is a single mom of one child, a dyed-in-the-wool feminist, liberal democrat who has worked in the pro-choice movement and plans to vote for Barack Obama. She is writing under a pseudonym.
Disclaimer: The opnion of the author does not necessarily reflect those of the management of The Glass Hammer.
