The Downside of Flex-Time

Contributed by Bailey McCann

2110827945_3f3ce68993_m.jpgWe all work too much, that’s a given. But in our quest for work-life balance are we actually causing our own balance problems? For example, my firm is more flexible than most when it comes to telecommuting and other flexible work solutions. I enjoy these options as much as our working parents do, even though I don’t have kids. I can wait for the plumber or the UPS man and not have to coordinate days off. But I am also beginning to notice the trade-offs that go along with the pervasive quality of flex-time. The separation of “office hours” and “off hours” is becoming smaller and smaller.

When I’m working from home, I often find myself working through lunch. If I only have to pop over to the kitchen and grab something out of the refrigerator, it takes as long as a bathroom break. The half hour I used to relish because it got me out from behind the desk for a little bit has disappeared. Do I take off a half hour earlier? Hardly. In fact, I’m finding myself working longer hours. Why? Some of my colleagues with children start their days later, thanks to flex-time. While it may help them with their morning rush, it kills my evenings. They’re emailing and IMing me well past the dinner hour and expecting responses.

I don’t mind staying late and coming in early, but I have started to wonder whether or not all of this flexibility is fair, or even good for overall productivity. I start my day earlier, and by late in the evening, my productivity is diminished. I’m on brain overload. Yet, my colleagues are catching up after putting kids to bed and not having to sit in a room with Baby Einstein in the background. They are focused and they are looking for a response. As weak as it may sound, at that point, I’m no longer focused. I am ready for a break, I am tired of responding.

In a business world that often demands 24/7 availability, parents have taken active steps in trying to reclaim their right to family. I support and fully understand this desire. However, I get the feeling it would be perceived as taboo, if not completely whiney, to ask for the same type of understanding if I’d like shut down after a 12 hour (or often longer) day just because I don’t have kids in the background.

Children are demanding. They get up early, stay up late and require lots of attention. Even when they get to school, the demands on parents’ time are high. This is why working from home, flex-time, and day care are all must haves for the working parent or parents, as a dual income house-hold is a often a necessity for leading a middle class life in America. No one doubts this, except for maybe the old guard executives and bean counters. Yet where does that leave employees like me? Is it selfish to want to see my significant other for more than ten minutes at night before we both go to sleep? No it’s not a soccer game, chicken pox, or a priceless childhood memory-building moment, but its kind of important to me all the same.

In an episode of the much-loved TV show Sex and the City, Carrie Bradshaw once addressed a similar dilemma. Fed up with buying gift after gift for the weddings and baby showers of her procreation-minded friends, she asked, “When is it time to celebrate my life choices?” She solved the problem by sending out invites to her self-wedding to a particularly insensitive friend, and informing her that she had registered at her favorite shoe store, Manolo Blahnik. If only the rest of us could find such an elegant solution to the problem of getting our employers to celebrate, or at least acknowlege our life choices.

It’s kind of hard not to resent the flex-time parents at these moments. Their personal choices are limiting mine. There is also no manual about how to approach these situations, at least not one that I have been able to find. So I’m curious: when is it appropriate to say no? What if you don’t have the choice not to respond because you’ve been waiting all day for their response? How do non-parents assert their right to work/life balance too?

  1. Beth Robinson
    Beth Robinson says:

    I understand your frustration. It sounds like you’re having a hard time turning work off.

    I have questions for you, though. What makes you think it’s inappropriate to say no? Have you tried it? Do you ask the workers whose day starts later if they expect a response that evening or if the next day is okay?

    If you need to collaborate, maybe you could schedule a time you’ll both work on the same project during the overlap. There are likely solutions that can be worked out with more communication among those of you who need information from each other.

    What if you let everyone know you’ll be available from 9am to 11am everyday and from 7pm to 8pm on M,W,F and the rest of the hours at your discretion? Where exactly do kids come into it? I’d be afraid that I would be considered less professional if I said that I needed to leave by x in order to do so and so with the kids. I think I’d come across better as if I had no family and just said, I’m sorry, that time’s not good for me, how about doing it at this time.

    As a disclaimer, I’ve never had to deal with this issue directly, but I’ve read numerous articles about just turning off the cellphone or the computer. Do it for half and hour and see if it all falls apart. Once that succeeds, do it for an hour, and so forth, until you block out the time that you desire. This was advice given in a publication directed at executives.

    As a side note, how do others who work mostly mornings deal with it? Are the men more protective of their time than the women? There are overtones in your story that seem to play into the stereotypically female “others time is more important than mine” attitude that I know I fall prey to, even when no request has been made of me.

  2. Bailey
    Bailey says:

    What I’m trying to get at is really a combination of factors. I concede I’m working through lunch but, the kids come into play with with co-workers coming on later and expecting responses later on. In a few of those cases those people are my seniors, so just turning off isn’t an option.

    The other piece to it is a sentiment of “What else could you possibly be doing? (Because you don’t have kids.)” or “You just don’t understand. (Because you don’t have children.)” Its frankly kind of derogatory. I’m curious about how to navigate these particularly turbulent waters. Its not just automatically easier for me to shift everything around because what I’m shifting isn’t wearing a diaper, you know? And yet saying that is perceived as whiny. So what’s the protocol? I’m curious about how others handle these kind of situations.

  3. Beth Robinson
    Beth Robinson says:

    You’re right that it’s not appropriate for others to have that attitude towards you. Even with higher-ups involved, I don’t have any suggestion beyond attempting to manage expectations of your work hours, kids or no kids. If that doesn’t work, then I guess you might have to accept that you’re working a second-shift job and reschedule your life accordingly, unless someone else comes up with a different approach.

  4. Jennifer
    Jennifer says:

    Thanks for the post.

    I have a flexible schedule at my work which is wonderful. In my case, a lot of my co-workers, including my boss, work a traditional 9-6 day, so I know if I need any of them, I better get them before they walk out the door at 5 or 6. Otherwise, I have to wait until the next day.

    Maybe some guidelines need to be set. You could mention that you work a traditional week and you understand that they have work, children, etc., but if they need your help in any way, they will need to contact you by the given time you tell them. I know that I would personally respond fine to that. It would just take some balancing on their end, but that is really what flex time is all about anyways, right?

    Good luck, I hope you find a good middle ground. Have a nice day!

    Jennifer