Do Men Need Flexibility Too?
Contributed by Michelle Kedem, Partner, On-Ramps
To build upon yesterday’s Voice of Experience piece about the Columbia Business School conference, we invited one of the speakers, Michelle Kedem of On-Ramps, to share her experience and offer some insights about work/life balance.
I was recently invited to speak at Columbia Business School’s annual Women in Business conference. The topic of this year’s conference was “Success… Your Way: Share Your Vision and Find Your Voice.” As often happens, many of the panel discussions, regardless of the specified matters at hand, turned to the work-life topic. At the networking event at the end of the day, one of the attendees asked the question on everyone’s mind: “Why do women in business spend so much time obsessing over work-life fit? And why don’t men spend an equal amount of time focused on the tricky navigation of a personal life while excelling in their careers?”
As a founding partner of On-Ramps, a search firm focused on flexible work arrangements, I have spent the past year and a half helping many women find more flexibility in their careers, for family or other reasons. What may be more surprising is the number of men that have come forward in search of flexible work arrangements too. From my vantage point, I see many men who are eager to leave behind the traditional all-day-in-the-office lifestyle, but worried they will be stigmatized if they admit it. Rather than speaking up and asking for reduced hours in their current jobs, the men I have worked with have gotten creative about defining their own balance.
In many cases, these men are electing to start businesses or become independent consultants, eliminating the need to check with a boss before spending time out of the office. For instance, one of these men has arranged his client load so that he almost never has meetings on Fridays. Another has managed to set up his own schedule so that he can leave the office at 5:00 pm daily. Another, working on the West Coast, has a client load located largely in on the East Coast, and thus, is able to spend afternoons with his young son a few times a week.
Interestingly, few of the men we have worked with have come forward specifically requesting flexibility, though the need is certainly on their minds. They have simply become accustomed to fulfilling their needs by describing their job parameters in other terms.
Women, and mothers in particular, desperate for some breathing room and less stigmatized by their roles as caretakers, openly discuss the need for greater accommodation by employers, and are setting the groundwork so that everyone can benefit. In addition, with strong performers — both male and female — pursuing the independent consulting option, the types of flexibility available are increasing.
More importantly, as organizations continue to have positive experiences with flexible work arrangements, the resistance and stigma associated with these alternative arrangements will continue to decrease.
