Three Challenges to Demonstrate Real Power on International Women’s Day: Women Helping Women

By Melissa J. Anderson (New York City)

A lot of talk gets made about so-called “mean girls” in the workplace – women who disparage other women, women who gossip, women who hold one another back. Workplace bullying is a problem, but the “mean girl” stereotype just doesn’t hold true for the majority of women. Based on the numbers in a 2007 study, only 15% of women in the US have been bullied by other women at work. And, in fact, a new study out of Switzerland shows that female leaders are more benevolent than their male counterparts.

The “mean girl” stereotype is unfairly giving women a bad reputation, and it’s drawing away our power to advance.

In the same vein, we don’t hear enough about the women who have helped us every day throughout our careers, women who have taken a chance on us, and women who have given us a hand up the ladder. According to Gloria Feldt, activist, former president and CEO of the Planned Parenthood Federation of America, and author of No Excuses: 9 Ways Women Can Change How We Think About Power, embracing power frequently means embracing it alongside other women.

She said, “In my research for No Excuses, I found women are able to embrace power enthusiastically when we think of it as the expansive ‘power to’ rather than the oppressive traditional ‘power over.’ And one of the best ways to express the power to is to join hands with other women. We all got where we are because of women who came before us and each of us has the obligation to bring another women with her as we move through a door or up a ladder.”

“There’s a parable of the mother with five daughters. She asked each of them to bring two sticks to her. She had them try to break one stick, which they easily did. Then she asked them to put their remaining five sticks together and try to break them – they couldn’t do it. Similarly, we women are all stronger when we stand together and when we mentor and sponsor each other in our careers,” Feldt added.

Real power is the ability to help someone else. As Cynthia Steer, Head of Manager Research & Investment Solutions at BNY Mellon, told us last week: “I can’t remember a time when a woman hasn’t helped me.” This year, for International Women’s Day, let’s shine a spotlight on our real power and showcase the women who’ve helped us along the way.

Recognizing Sponsorship and Support

Sponsorship has been the buzzword for the past year or so, and it’s easy to confuse with mentoring. A mentor is someone who gives you advice and emotional support. But a mentor does not necessarily give you promotions or interesting assignments – that’s a sponsor’s role.

A sponsor is someone in your company who has the power to get you the promotion or choice assignment that will propel your career forward. They’re at the table in important meetings and they’re willing to stick their neck out for you – because they believe in your abilities. You, in turn, have the responsibility to deliver on that trust.

Can you think of someone higher up in your organization (a boss? your boss’s boss?) who threw their support behind your name? They’re your sponsor. If you don’t have a sponsor, think of the influencers in your department or organization who make big decisions, and figure out how to get to know them – and work to prove your value.

More importantly, who can you help along? Who can you sponsor? And if you’re not in a decision-making role, consider how you can support a colleague or someone junior to you. What better way to realize and demonstrate your own power than by helping someone else advance? As women, we can get farther along collectively by propelling one another forward.

Three Challenges for International Women’s Day

Today, to demonstrate our real power on International Women’s Day, let’s commit to taking on three challenges.

1. By the end of the day, thank a woman who’s supported you or inspired you. A simple thank you email to a sponsor or mentor can mean a lot – or maybe one of these International Women’s Day eCards created by Oxfam would be appropriate.

2. The small stuff matters too. By the end of the day, demonstrate your power by speaking up for another woman. Simply saying, “I agree with her” in a meeting can go a long way to dispel the “mean girl” myth that is holding women back.

3. Spread the word – by the end of the day, tell another person about a woman who helped advance your career.

Empowering women means supporting one another on an individual level and on the large scale. And we do – we just don’t talk about it enough. Let’s advocate loudly for how women are working together to get to the next level and create a new model for women helping women.