Leave For The Right Reasons

By Nicki Gilmour, Executive Coach and Organizational Psychologist

Many times, people come to me and they have suffered at work.

Be it a perceived slight, being undermined or even harassed in a very real way. It is normal to want to leave the team, firm or in some cases the industry itself. When coaching, we look hard at whether you just need to leave a manager or whether yes in reality you are ready for a complete change of scene. Knowing what you like doing is crucial and we work on getting to the heart of the matter. But, equally it is important to understand that feelings are real. However, the brain can trick us significantly. There is a cognitive theory by Kant that suggests that we see danger so we think we are in danger (thought) and feel fear (emotion) so we run. Brain science is telling us that if we saw a tiger once, chances are we are hyper-vigilant for the next one. We run sometimes because we are feeling fear due to thinking we see a tiger, before we actually see one.

How do we ensure we do not leave the firm or the industry for the wrong reasons? Women and other minority group members are susceptible to this because often yes we saw a tiger once and that is no lie.

Work with a good coach to know if you are anticipating scenarios before they happen and reason out what impact this is having in how you engage, operate and even consider new roles

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